The Widow Maker
by Celtic Sorceress
Summary: A new danger surfaces in Peter/Spider-Man's life & it's out to destroy the one thing he holds dear, MJ. Is his love the only thing that can save her or will it destroy her? MJP movieverse COMPLETED FEB 05 2007!
1. The Love Of A Hero

Title: The Widow Maker  
  
Author: Debbie  
  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
  
Rating: PG-13 for now   
  
Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own any of Stan Lee's Marvelous creations ;) I wish I did and well, I also wished I owned Tobey in that Spidey suit, but well, 'll hafta settle for borrowing the wonderful characters and yes, yes 'll put them back up on the shelf where I found 'em as soon as 'm done. :)   
  
Pairing: MJ/P(S)  
  
Summary: I'm still working on a general plot(hence the tentative title) but it will be a MJ/P(S) pairing and it will have lots of drama and action with a healthy dose of romance. To sum up what I've come up with so far: Just as Peter and MJ finally get closer a new woman steps into the way and creates problems for Peter and Spider-Man.   
  
A/N: I have to admit, I wasn't such a big Spidey fan till the movie, I always watched the cartoon but I never got hooked as I did until after reading the novelization of the movie and seeing the movie. I haven't gotten to the comics yet, so my interpretations of certain characters and things may differ from the ones you know. I base my knowledge solely on Spidey cartoons, the movie and Spidey novels, so please be kind when judging my fic. And as always, please review. Its what makes my world go 'round. (and makes me update chapters faster :P) This is my first Spidey fic so be honest, but please be kind!! :)   
  
A/N 2: Also a second note: This new woman in the story is a character I created and thought I had come up with most brilliantly on my own, until I saw her on the Marvel page. My character will have very striking similiarites to the character Black Widow, as far as costume and abilities go. I must reiterate that I had no clue she existed till after the I have begun this story, so please do not confuse my character for the Black Widow character. I made her up, on my own, just turns out Marvel beat me to the punch on the name, so I call mine the Widow Maker. My apologies to anyone who feels my character is a knock off, she was not meant to be. Thanks!   
  
Dedication: To my wonderful lil sis, Celeste, who also happens to be the smarter of the 2 of us, hence why she's my editor. Without your expertise this story wouldn't come to exist anywhere off my hard drive. You rock girl, thanks again.... and to all the MJ/P fans out there, hope this makes your day, lord knows we shippers need it ;)  
  
Feedback: celtskye@aol.com  
  
  
  
Chapter 1: The Love of a Hero  
  
_Stop your crying it'll be all right  
Just take my hand,   
Hold it tight  
I will protect you  
From all around us  
I will be here   
Don't you cry  
  
Born so small  
You seem so strong  
My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm  
This bond between us can't be broken  
I will be here don't you cry  
  
You'll be in my heart  
Yes you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forevermore   
You'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here in my heart  
Always _  
  
Mary Jane Watson sat beside her 40th story window, staring absently out into the moonlight dappled New York City skyline. Sure, it was a better view than her Queens window had ever offered, but nothing seemed to chase away her constant melancholy.  
  
Her eyes were red rimmed, puffy and stained with dry tears.  
  
It had been forever and a day since she'd seen him, or at least that's what it seemed like to her. Yet, the feel of his warm kiss was still fresh on her lips.  
  
And the accompanying feeling of coldness in her heart at the memory of his subsequent rejection still raw to her soul.  
  
She touched her lower lip plaintively, remembering the way his lips had felt, brushed up against her own. The gentleness of his kiss seemed so familiar, her body had responded instinctively to the sensations, as if they were somehow familiar to her, though it had been their first kiss.  
  
Or had it been?   
  
She would swear on her heart she'd felt those lips, Peter Parker's lips, once before that day. Or, she could also be certifiably insane. But she could swear on it that kissing Peter had been very much like kissing Spider-Man. It would explain his sudden rejection. MJ had always thought Peter had a crush on her, and all those wonderful things he said about her at the hospital....if he had really meant them, he had to love her. But to believe he was really Spider-Man? Her only evidence was the striking similarities of their kiss, from the feel of his face to the touch of his lips. It couldn't be true.   
  
Yet, here she was all alone. Even the man who she loved and was supposed to love her in return didn't want to be with her. The only answer she could come with as to why was almost unbelievable. Peter Parker being Spider-Man... could it really be?   
  
He had muttered something about being her friend, about always being there to take care of her, about protecting her, but nothing about loving her and needing her as she hoped to hear. As she needed and loved him.   
  
Even so, there had been no sign of Peter for almost a whole month now. Whether he was giving her time to deal with the rejection or if he just didn't care, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that she needed him, to make her feel better, to take care of her as he'd promised, to be there. She longed for his help, his comfort, those gentle eyes that had listened to her, had looked at her with such adoration and confidence back in a time where things had been so much simpler. But how could she possibly hope for him to help her when he was the problem?  
  
She ran the tips of her fingers over the cool glass of the window, and gave a small shiver. Her mind wandered back to that one cold, stormy night, to that dark back alley, the place of Spider-Man's kiss. She remembered how contact with him had warmed her up inside, had sent her heart into a flurry of excited palpitations.   
  
Kissing Peter in the cemetery had been no different; banishing the chill from her bones and flooding her with gentle warmth. She was tired of feeling cold.  
  
The cool glass reminded her of that cold ache inside herself and she yearned to be rid of it, to reside in the comfort of her regard, and the feeling that it was reciprocated. But apparently, it was not to be. Her entire life had been filled with aspirations of being held and comforted. But every time she thought such designs were within her reach, she was proven wrong. With Peter it had almost been a sure thing. She had felt the pull of destiny itself on the both of them, she had been sure of it. How could she have been wrong again?   
  
*Silly girl, MJ... Peter's Spider-Man, he can't love you,* she thought. Though perhaps it was even sillier to believe that his super-hero status was the cause of his rejection. The rational part of her mind told her to wake up and face reality: even Peter didn't love her enough to be with her.  
  
Her heart told her it would rather be silly and keep her dream alive though.   
  
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she finally showed signs of life by removing her hand from the glass and letting it drop to join the other one in her lap, leaving only a set of smudgy fingerprints behind.  
  
In the sky, she could see the starlight begin to give way to broaching dawn. She reminded herself it was late, and that she needed to get some sleep before her early shift at the Moondance Diner. But the very thought of sleep made her blood freeze in her veins. Not a night had passed without the presence of nightmares. In her mind's eye she saw visions of the Green Goblin laughing in her face, of herself, dangling from the Queensboro Bridge and screaming for help. She felt herself die sometimes in those dreams, fearful of what she was losing; calling out the name of the one she loved. In her dreams, he never saved her.   
  
So she made no effort to move from her window perch, and hadn't moved since she returned home from work earlier that day. She simply curled her knees to her chest, snuggling deep into her fleece throw. Pressing her forehead against the window, she shut her ears and eyes to outside, to the city that never slept, though she dared not let herself slumber for fear of dreams.  
  
****************************  
  
Spider-Man soared across the city, web-slinging from building to building, the heady rush of adrenaline still heavy in his ears, the thrill of previous activities leaving him with nothing to do and energy to burn. He'd stopped a robbery, a mugger, and a carjacker all in one night's work. Easy enough pickings for himself, though not enough to leave him spent. Though he couldn't complain; it was all in a day's work, supposedly. Not that the NYPD seemed happy for his help. With J. Jonah Jameson calling him a threat to society, a crazy vigilante, a masked menace, it didn't leave him with very many fans. He'd saved the city from insane Norman Osborn and rescued a bunch of kids from falling to their deaths in one night and he was still an outlaw to J.J.J. and his legion of loyal readers. He recalled some of the commuters on the bridge sticking up for him when the Goblin had him cornered, but he knew for the most part, people were still uncertain of his motives.   
  
He supposed he couldn't blame them. After all, a man who shot webbing from his wrists and swung above the city in a blue-and-red spandex outfit, and who possessed super-human strength and a nifty spider sense, might be enough to scare just about anyone.  
  
The worst part was that it had been his own pictures that condemned him. He took his camera with him on patrols and set it up to snap photos of him helping people, stopping crime, in hopes of bringing them to the Daily Bugle and proving Jameson and his cronies that Spider-Man was one of the good guys. But Jonah thought he'd sell more papers if his columns BLAMED Spider-Man for the crimes, if they accused the webslinger of cleaning up his own messes to become famous.  
  
Still, Peter snapped the shots and brought them in. It put money in his pocket and paid his rent, so what else could he do?  
  
The only person who trusted Spider-Man seemed to be Mary Jane.  
  
He clung to the side of a 30-story apartment complex, thinking about her trusting green eyes- God he could stare at them ever day for eternity- that flaming red hair as it was swept away from her gorgeous face by some dramatic breeze.  
  
Except he was looking at her with his own eyes, and not through a mask. He was looking at her as Peter Parker.  
  
He could see the torment and sadness on her face when he'd turned her down, as he left her crying over his Uncle Ben's grave almost a month ago.  
  
The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, but it was a simple matter of prudence. Everyone he loved would always be endangered by his secret identity, by his status as Spider-Man. Goblin had found out he was Peter and had nearly destroyed everything Peter loved in the world; MJ and his Aunt May. Thankfully, he had saved them both and the Goblin was gone. But what about the next time? The next villain? Would he be so lucky? He couldn't gamble with that, he couldn't chance his aunt or MJ. He couldn't hurt them. Hadn't enough people been hurt already? His thoughts turned to his best friend. Harry Osborn was now fatherless; he blamed Spider-Man for the murder.  
  
It was safer for everyone, to be alone. It was better this way. Wasn't it?   
  
She'd be safe and sound and... they'd both be perfectly miserable.  
  
"Swell..." Spider-Man sighed, shooting a webline to the building in front of him, continuing on his way again. "Just hunky dory..."  
  
The wind rushed past him as he swung, and brought his mind back to the day they shared their second kiss. Well, for MJ it was their first because she didn't know he was Spider-man, but to him, it had been touching Olympus once more. And she could never know.  
  
He'd never let anyone pay for his mistakes as Uncle Ben had, never again.  
  
*With great power comes great responsibility.*  
  
"And great misery," he finished aloud, with more bite than he'd intended. He watched over Mary Jane every night as he'd promised her he would, but he was forced to do it as Spider-Man. How hard it was, having her right there and not being able to have her for himself! But he had vowed to himself that her safety would never be compromised because of him again.   
  
It was enough to send his heart into an epileptic fit whenever he pictured the Goblin dangling her over the Queensboro Bridge, threatening to toss her to her death. His demonic laugh plagued his mind, the look of pain and fear on her face had broken his heart.   
  
_ "Let die the woman you love... or suffer the little children?!" Goblin cackled, one hand dangling MJ over the bridge, the other swinging a cable line and a car filled with frightened little children.   
  
The children in the car screamed for help, banging on the glass. "Save us!!" They cried.  
  
"Make your choice and see how a hero is rewarded..." Goblin shouted sadistically.  
  
He heard himself shout, "Don't do it Goblin!!"  
  
"We are who we choose to be! Now! Choose!!!" Goblin dropped them both.  
  
And his heart fell to his feet as she descended to her almost certain death._  
  
And as she'd plummeted to the water below, he swore she'd be safe or he'd rip the Goblin limb from limb. He grabbed her and the children's cable car just in time. A lucky break, but one where careful deliberation had been made necessary. Next time might not be so lucky, and he had chosen the responsibility of protecting the people. It was his job to save them, not to be torn between his own selfish purposes and the lives of many. Better to make it so that the situation never arose again.   
  
He fast-forwarded again to Norman's funeral, and hearing MJ say the words he had longed to hear for an eternity, words he would die to hear from her just once more.   
  
_"I love you...I love you so much Peter..."  
  
And then her lips on his.   
  
In his head, his own voice had sounded dull, and without any feeling. "I can't..."  
  
"You can't what?"  
  
"...tell you...everything… I mean there's so much to tell..."  
  
"Yeah, there's so much to tell..." she smiled, caressing his cheek.  
  
"I want you to know that I will always be there for you. I will always be there to take care of you. I promise you that. I will always be...your friend..."  
  
"Only a friend, Peter Parker?" she sobbed, her whole countenance melting away to sadness.  
  
"That's all I have to give..." he answered, leaving her, unable to look at her and the pain he'd caused a moment longer.   
_  
Peter sighed, wishing he could have changed things, changed who he'd become. But this was his gift, his curse...to be Spider-Man.   
  
He zip-lined to the building directly across from hers, to check on her, as he did every night. His own silent vigil over her. His own personal torture. Then, he'd return home to his cold, empty bed and dream that she was beside him.  
  
Crawling alongside the 40-story apartment complex, he didn't stop until he could see her balcony doors directly across the street. He perched on the side of the building, hands and feet pressed against the bricks he clung to.  
  
Moonlight bathed the glass in a patch of pale light, and he could spot her flaming auburn hair pressed against one of the windows beside the doors.  
  
He cocked his head sideways, wondering if she was okay. He watched her delicate fingertips press against the glass, saw her shiver slightly at the touch. He could make out the heartbroken expression on her face from all the way across the street. He wondered if his own countenance mirrored hers.   
  
Her head bobbed up as she jerked, opening her eyes. It looked like she was trying to avoid sleep.  
  
Peter's heart filled with guilt. Was she so upset over his rejection that even her dreams were haunted? Or had something else happened to his beautiful MJ? He ached to hold her, to kiss her, to let her know everything would be okay.   
  
Temptation urged him to go to her. Fear of discovery kept him still. She needed him and he wasn't there for her. Couldn't be there for her. Couldn't or wouldn't?  
  
In the end temptation won out and before he knew it, he was sailing across the street to her balcony.  
  
Peter secretly wondered, knowing MJ had a crush on Spider-Man, who she'd choose, given the chance? The man or the super-hero? Boy, would she be shocked if she knew they were one in the same. But she could never know.  
  
Her hand slid down the glass and she slumped down, knees curled to her frame. He couldn't bear to see her in such pain anymore. She needed a friend, but Peter wasn't someone who could be there for her for this. Peter was the root of the problem. But Spider-Man...  
  
He landed with a soft thud, feet connecting with concrete.  
  
She jerked up, shocked, and awake. Once she realized who was knocking at her window she let a small smile creep up her face. Her whole essence lit up when he waved a little and the smile widened, finally reaching her eyes.  
  
It seemed a little too wide.  
  
Peter frowned behind his mask. Selfishly, he was disappointed to see that Spider-Man had such an immediate effect on her, that the masked man could make her world bright again just by stepping into the frame. Obviously, if Spider-Man could light that thousand-watt smile Peter loved so much, he couldn't really mean all that much to her.  
  
She slid her window open quickly. "Hey there, Spider-Man..." she greeted, her heart leaping into an excited pattern of pitter patter. Could this mean Peter came to tell her the truth? "Wasn't expecting to see you again so soon. Specially since 'm not in danger."  
  
"Hey MJ," he replied simply. No witty quip or jokes.   
  
She leaned her elbows on the window sill, grinning wolfishly at him.  
  
"Was just passing by… and well you looked like you could use a friend, so being the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man that I am..." Peter trailed off cheerfully, shrugging. Her smile made him feel too good to be so miserable. Even if he was outdoing his alter ego.  
  
"Hmm... always there to rescue you me, aintcha Tiger?" she tilted her head, as if trying to read his expression. Which, she thought, was impossible with that mask on.   
  
"How are you?" he stirred, leaning against the balcony. Did she just call him 'tiger'? Didn't she call Peter that? Her liberal use of the cherished nickname caused an unnamed ache in his chest.   
  
"Better." she paused. "Now that you're here."  
  
Peter gulped. What had he gotten himself into?  
  
She stood up, opening the balcony door.  
  
He caught his breath as she stepped out into the cool night air. She was wearing a pair of old gray jogging sweats and an olive green tank that made her eyes shine like emeralds in the moonlight. Dear God she was gorgeous...   
  
MJ could tell, even with the mask on that he was staring intently at her. It made her skin go warm and her heart skip. She tucked a strand of her hair away and looked down at her fuzzy pink slippers. "How've you been? I haven't seen-well talked to you in...almost a month now."  
  
"As fine and dandy as any Spider-Man can be," he crouched down, leaning on the palms of his hands and the balls of his feet. He looked up at her. "What, with my adoring public and all."  
  
"Don't pay attention to the Bugle, tiger," she urged him. "Some of us, a lot of us, know you're really here to help…" she trailed off. "Speaking of which, I uh, I wanted to thank you for saving my life again... I hope the Green Goblin didn't hurt you..." she looked down at him in gratitude, studied him. Her expression changed to one of wonder. He sat in what would be an uncomfortable position for any normal human being, crouched low, resting on fingertips and toes. But, she reminded herself, he was far from being any normal human.  
  
"I'm recovering..." *not just physically,* he thought. "How 'bout you? No bumps or bruises from your ordeal?"  
  
She thought back to clinging onto him so tightly she could hear his heartbeat pounding against her ear, and of sliding down the cable and almost plummeting to her death again after she lost her grip. Thankfully, she had a good eye and grabbed onto the cable car. Then they were lowered to a barge and she was safe. Again. From death, anyway. But that cackling laugh and those awful yellow eyes still haunted her. "I'm okay..." She shrugged weakly.  
  
"Nightmares?" he tilted his head sympathetically.  
  
She nodded slightly, her green eyes clouding over. She took a deep breath, eyes looking up at the sky. "Some nights it's okay... but some... the bad ones…" she swallowed hard, unable to finish. "It's just hard when you're alone."  
  
"What about your friends?" he asked, voice soft, full of an understanding she couldn't possibly know of.   
  
"Harry lost his father that same night... and Peter..." she paused, eyes finding his mask. "You know Peter, right?"  
  
He nodded mutely.  
  
"Have you seen him?" she asked with genuine concern in her tone.   
  
"Not too much lately..." he grumbled. He didn't even know who Peter Parker was anymore.  
  
"How is he?" she wrapped her arms around herself. "I mean, the last time you saw him, was he… okay? He just disappeared…"  
  
Peter closed his eyes, bowing his head. He could almost drown in the guilt he felt at causing such concern. This wonderful girl he hurt so deeply still found it in her heart to care for him somehow.  
  
"What? Is… is he hurt?" MJ asked, deeply distressed over his silence. Her eyes pleaded with him to tell her what he knew. Anything he might know.   
  
"No, no he's fine. Concerned about you actually." He looked up at her.  
  
"Me?" her voice was so soft it was barely audible. She looked heavenward and turned her back to him. "I wouldn't know it. I haven't seen him since Norman Osborn's funeral."  
  
*I'm here right now MJ. I'm here for you now.* He stayed silent.   
  
"He must be too busy or something..." she shrugged, looking over her shoulder at him. The moonlight danced off the scarlet color of his mask, the white slots of his eyes shined like stars bouncing off the ocean. She wondered what his eyes were like under that mask. Was he worried about her or was he finding all this melodrama funny? Did he wonder if she knew the truth or did he think her crush on Spider-Man was more valuable than her love for him? *C'mon Pete... gimme a sign that it's you... Don't lemme be wrong about this...*  
  
"I'm sure he's sorry he can't be here for you..." he offered, standing up straight. He walked over to her, drawn like a magnet. He put a gloved hand on her bare shoulder. *So very sorry.*  
  
She nodded, turning to him. Only inches from his body. She could hear his breathing from under his mask. "But you're here for me, aren't you Spider-Man? I can always count on you to save me, can't I? You'll always be there for me…right?" She reached out to touch the spider emblem on his muscled chest.   
  
She felt him inhale sharply at her touch, like it burned to have her so close. She looked up from her hand to his eyes, wishing she could see them behind the white opaque slots.   
  
Even if he had no mask on, she wouldn't have been able to see his eyes. They were squeezed shut tightly, reveling in her simple touch, aching for want of more. He could only manage a gentle nod in response. "I'll always be there for you... I promise you that..."  
  
MJ's heart skipped. Peter had said the same thing.  
  
"You'll never reject me, will you?" she reached up with her other hand, cupping his covered cheek. Her heart pounded so heavily her ears pulsed. "You'll never hurt me...."  
  
He rested his forehead against hers. His breath was deep and ragged, his heart aching to hold her closer. He needed her so badly.   
  
She leaned into his embrace and a flood of warmth and safety engulfed her. She felt invincible here, alone with him, the outside world just that, outside. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and wrapped her arms around him tightly. She shuddered when he tightened his arms around her in response, pushed herself into him closer.   
  
She couldn't be mistaken. To feel this good and loved... how could she feel this way and not feel she was betraying her feelings for Peter?   
  
The way he held her gave her more belief that her suspicions were right. He seemed tense and yet, relieved all at once. As if he wanted to hold her close and never let go but was afraid to. As if he was happy holding her, but wasn't supposed to.  
  
Peter was sweating under that mask. *I can't be doing this...* he sighed, still holding her close. *I can't believe she's doing this... I thought she loved me.* He'd really screwed up this time. But then, he'd obviously let her down, hurt her when he left her at the cemetery without a word for a month. It was no wonder she sought comfort from someone else. Someone who had constantly been there in her times of need.   
  
Mary Jane pulled back a little. If she could get him to kiss her once more… She knew then for sure he was Spider-Man. She smiled at him softly. Her hands found his and she led him inside.  
  
He followed like a trained dog into her bedroom, not losing eye contact with her for a minute, knowing how wrong he was to be doing this after everything he'd told himself, but incapable of ignoring the alluring look in her eyes, the heat of her hand in his, even through the material of his costume.   
  
Her hands slid up his arms to his shoulders. "Will you stay with me? Please?" she asked. "I don't want to be alone anymore..."  
  
He was nodding before he knew it.  
  
Her hands slid to his neck, finding the separation of his mask and his costume. "Can I kiss you?" She closed her eyes, pulling it off his neck.  
  
He froze. "No...MJ…" he gripped her hands gently, finding his resolve, finding his breath. "I..." he was at a loss for words. What was he supposed to do? Rip off his mask and confront her for wanting to kiss him if she was in love with...well... him...  
  
But she was supposed to love Peter Parker, not Spider-Man. Had she really let her crush on the super-hero come to mean more than her love for Peter?  
  
She frowned in the darkness. Why didn't he want her to kiss him? "But...we've kissed before..."  
  
"I know..." he sighed, his voice a whisper. "We just can't..."  
  
She retreated, rejected again. She turned away from him, strode across the room in an attempt to compose herself. She would not let his dismissal get to her again. He couldn't mean to really reject her. He had to be trying to protect her.   
  
He followed after her, spinning her into his arms. "Its not that I don't want to..." he told her. He tightened his grasp on her arms gently, trying to force the idea into her mind.   
  
She nodded, her face crinkling up as tears filled her eyes. "I'm sorry... Here I am talking about Pete and trying to kiss you... I do care about you... a lot... and I'm just really confused and..." She shuddered, not knowing what else to say. Then she burst and before she knew it, and was sobbing in his arms.  
  
Spider-man hugged her close wishing to God he could change everything to make her happy again. He wanted more than anything to take her hurt and confusion away, to let her know that she didn't need to be confused, that he was both Peter and Spider-Man. That he loved her as both, had loved her since he was a kid playing with his army men next door and he'd love her to the day he was old and gray and on his deathbed. Probably even after that. But he couldn't be selfish and risk her very life to let her know that. He had a responsibility.   
  
"I really thought he loved me. And for me, not my looks or my attitude but for being just me. I thought that was enough. I thought he saw past it all and wanted me for who I was and not who I pretended to be. Pete's the only one who's stood by my and believed in me when no one else would. I can't believe how stupid I was to think anyone could love me. No one ever has..." she turned from him again, head lowered.   
  
*I do MJ. I love you more than you can ever know.* "Don't feel that way because of Parker... he's a jerk for making you think that, Mary Jane. He'll be sorry for it..." *I already am.*  
  
She smiled softly, sniffling. "He's not the only one to have made me feel so bad, but it hurt coming from him. I really thought we were gonna be together. I really thought he loved me. After all he said to you about me. No one's ever said such wonderful things..." She turned, eyeing him warily. Her expression changed from one of sorrow to one of curiosity. "Why did you ask him about me?"  
  
"Well, what kinda super-hero stalker would I be if I didn't know everything about you?" he joked, trying to cover up his nervousness at her inquiry. "Besides, Parker seemed pretty adamant that he cared a great deal about you when I inquired." *Way to score one for yourself Pete.*  
  
"Really?" her smile brightened. "He was jealous huh?" she sauntered up to him. "Wonder what he'd say if you told him I thought you were a much better kisser...." she tried to goad him into pulling that mask off and glaring at her with accusation.  
  
Spider-Man stumbled backwards, coughing. "I think what he doesn't know won't hurt him..." he squeaked.  
  
MJ sighed, frowning deeply. "Who am I kidding? I couldn't do something like that... I'd never hurt Peter." She shook her head. "Or you... she eyed him carefully. "You kinda remind me of him in a way." She walked past him, back outside.   
  
"Really?" he turned his head watching her stride past.   
  
"Sure," she nodded. "Well, it's just that you both manage to make me feel like no one else has..."  
  
He stared at her back listening closely. "How's that?"  
  
"Pete...he...he makes me feel like being me is worth more than my looks or what job I have. He listens to me and he actually hears me. I don't have to be 'party girl' Mary Jane Watson or 'perfect girlfriend' Mary Jane Watson. My values, my thoughts, my opinions, they all matter to him.   
  
And you... you make me feel like it's worth the risk to care. You always seem to care about how I feel and what I think. You value me too, and I trust you with everything," She revealed, finding it easy to talk to him.  
  
Spider-Man sighed softly. *God MJ... I wanna tell you so bad, but I just can't put you in danger. I won't.* Out loud, he could only say, "I'm glad."   
  
TBC....  



	2. Come Fly With Me

Thanks for the reviews so far, keep 'em coming ;)  
  
  
Chapter 2: Come Fly With Me  
  
_I would die for you  
Lay down my life for you  
The only thing that means everything to me  
Cause when your in my arms  
You make me prouder than  
Anything I ever could achieve  
And you make   
Everything that used to seem so big  
Seem to be so small  
Since you've arrived  
  
On angels wings  
An angelic confirmation  
Angel's wings  
Like letters in the sky  
Now I know  
No matter what the question  
That love is the answer  
It's written on angel's wings   
  
I have to wonder why  
Someone as cold as I  
Deserves to be  
As happy as you make me  
So as the years go by  
I'll be right by your side  
I'll follow you  
Wherever you might take me  
Cause you make  
Everything that used to be so big  
Seem to be so small   
Since you've arrived_  
  
The night air was cool; the occasional soft breeze blowing against her face. She closed her eyes and inhaled the scents of the city which the wind conveyed, savoring them deeply. She knew tonight was not the night Peter would reveal the truth to her. She'd have to be patient and hope he would find enough trust in her one day reveal himself. And hope also, her heart wasn't wrong.   
  
In the meantime, if the only way she could be with Peter was to be with Spider-Man, she'd take it. She'd just have to be careful not to throw herself at Spider-Man too much, or Peter would think she'd forsaken him for her super hero crush, for the mysterious man in the mask; though they were one in the same. Which pleased her, she thought selfishly.  
  
Spider-Man stood rooted on his spot, wishing he could summon up the courage to tell her the truth. He was beginning to wonder if MJ knew something more than she was saying, given her surreptitious study of him, the way her eyes gleamed in a manner that was more aware than she let on.   
  
*Nah, there was no way. How could she possibly know?*  
  
He walked out after her, stopping alongside her. "It's getting pretty late.. The sun'll be poking through soon. You should get some rest."  
  
She turned to him, leaning against the railing of the balcony. She ignored his concern for her rest and nudged her chin out into the sky. "What's it like to be so high above the city? Is it like flying? Do you feel like you can just reach out and pluck a star from the sky? I can't remember what it was like when you carried me away from the fair. I looked briefly, but... I was a little scared, my eyes were shut too tight for me to enjoy the view." She chuckled for the first time in a while.  
  
Spider-Man smiled beneath the mask. "It's sorta is like flying. It's pretty cool... You feel so free and calm. Like you're floating, or soaring, the wind whipping past you...it's amazing. Unless of course, you're worried about smacking into the side of a building and getting squashed like a bug....or arachnid in this case." He hopped onto the ledge, looking up at the sky. "Can't beat the ride home. Traffic's not a problem up here."  
  
MJ admired how he balanced atop the balcony railing, which couldn't have been more than 6 inches wide. He looked almost like a wolf howling at the moon, his head tilted to the sky. "Can you take me with you? I wanna know what it feels like too; to soar above the skyscrapers, to be able to grab a star right out of the air."  
  
He could hear the tinge of excitement in her voice, her eyes glimmering with excitement and curiosity. He didn't want to cloud that smile with another frown.  
  
When he didn't answer her right away, she turned back to look at him. "Please?" She tilted her head.  
  
"It's not the safest way to travel, MJ," he warned, trying to let her down easy.  
  
"I trust you, Spider-Man. I already know I can trust you with my life. You wouldn't let me fall." She reached out and touched his gloved hand.  
  
"Are you sure? You might get scared." His fingers curled around her hand and squeezed gently.   
  
"Not with you around. With you around I'm not afraid of anything and terrified all at once," she said softly. When he didn't move or answer she kicked off her slippers and braced her foot against the railing to climb up.  
  
"Woah, easy..." He gripped her other hand, and helped to pull her up, lifting himself to a standing position at the same time. She balanced tentatively on the railing, swaying slightly, until he steadied her with his hands, righting her. "Slowly..."  
  
She held onto him tightly, not looking down until she was sure they were balanced. Then, she braved a look at the city below. The cars looked like matchbox toys, the people like miniscule dots. Cars and pedestrians hurried down the streets on both sides, the yellow glow of lampposts lighting up their movements like spotlights for a show on Broadway. She looked up and scanned the sky. The lights of the skyscrapers shone brightly, the Empire State Building in particular glowing a brilliant red, white, and blue in the distance. Even higher up than the tallest buildings in all of New York, hung the moon, a brilliant orb of light that had seemed so far away for all her life. It already felt closer. She smiled at Spider-Man, and standing on her toes, she let loose a giggle of delight as the wind rustled her hair as if to welcome her to its world, the auburn tendrils of fire licking wild and free behind her in the night.  
  
Peter couldn't help smiling back. It was infectious. Gently, he wrapped one of her arms around his neck and the other around his waist. "Hold on tight, MJ. Don't let go."   
  
His heart pounded with anticipation as he wrapped an arm around her, encircling her small frame. Pulling her flush against him, the feel of her so close made the blood rush like tsunami in his veins, a level of exhilaration so strong it made his ears rang. He felt light headed, felt dizzy, felt so crazy in love.   
  
MJ squeezed against him tightly and tucked her head into the crook of his neck. She grinned up at him, her heart thumping against her chest excitedly. "I'm ready!"  
  
Spider-Man looked across the skyline and his left arm stretched out, slinging a web out to a building 10 stories down, to the right.  
  
MJ heard a THWIP sound and suddenly they were free falling.  
  
The wind rushed up to greet them.  
  
Her ears rang, the sounds of the city getting closer and closer as they plummeted. Her eyes were wide open this time, she screamed with a thrill and a whoop as the webbing went taught, bouncing them back up like a bungee cord. Soon they were sailing up and across the sky like two birds soaring in the air.   
  
They neared the building across from hers, looked as if they might slam right into it, but then they were falling again as Spider-Man broke free from his webline. Another THWIP and they were shooting like rockets towards a second nearby edifice.   
  
MJ grinned wildly, her eyes tearing up as the wind stung at them. Spider-Man's arm was tight around her; she never feared falling from his grasp, not for a moment. She clung to his neck, and wrapped her legs tightly around his waist.  
  
Spider-Man, on the other hand, was having trouble concentrating on his web slinging with the woman of his dreams wrapped so close against him that he could feel her breath on his face. He hissed softly as her legs curled around his waist and thanked the heavens for the cool winds billowing around them, because it was getting real hot, real fast.  
  
He took her up too all the side streets of the largest buildings, where they wouldn't be spotted by sky watching citizens. He steered them past the water and the Statue of Liberty, by Battery Park and the twinkling lights from Ellis Island glimmered in the distance.  
  
To MJ, no sight, no picture, no feeling was more perfect than holding him close, nothing more exhilaration than the rush of freefall, the thrill of plummeting so far, so fast, only to be snapped back up, safe and secure in the light of the stars. It was all perfect. It was freedom.   
  
She reached out with one hand to touch the stars, laughing like she hadn't done since she'd been little girl, laughing with pure lightness, with unsullied joy. She swore that if they'd ascent only a couple more feet, they would be atop the clouds themselves. "This is amazing!!" she shouted, not sure if the wind would cut away her words.  
  
Peter's heart warmed at the sight of her happiness. He couldn't help but laugh himself, too happy not to. For a little while it seemed as if all his worries were unthought-of, as if nothing else in the world mattered more than making her happy. But eventually, he was reminded of duty, as he saw the sky begin to lighten, as he remembered the people counting on him down below. Reluctantly he began to circle back, heading for home through the concrete canyons of Manhattan.  
  
MJ held on tightly as they swung in a half circle, doubling back. She was smiling brightly, taking in the sights, smells, the sensations, every little thing… and she looked down. Gasping with fear, her grip around him loosened. "Oh!!" she screamed, slipping down Spider-Man's body. She hadn't realized how high up they'd been, paying more attention to the sky above than the city below. A wave of dizziness washed over her and slipped a little further.   
  
"Easy, MJ...." Spider-Man soothed, feeling her slide, feeling her distress. He reinforced his hold on her, pulled her up until she was back against him safely, her arms around his neck in a bear hug.   
  
"Sorry... I guess I shouldn't look down," she joked.   
  
He snorted. "I think I'm rubbing off on you."  
  
"I think you are." She snuggled closer. "It's not a bad thing," she murmured against his ear.   
  
This time it was Spider-Man who almost lost his grip on his own webbing. It was with a small feeling of relief (and a greater one of disappointment) when he saw her balcony come into view, and he swung towards it. Distracted as he was however, he misjudged his landing and they came through the door, crashing to the floor of her bedroom. Mary Jane landed atop Peter with a small thud; his body cushioning her fall.  
  
"Whoa, Spidey..." she giggled.   
  
"Sorry 'bout the rough landing, but it was all the flight attendant's fault, I swear," he groaned, stirring slightly beneath her.  
  
She lay sprawled across him a moment longer, face to mask. Leaning on an elbow, she quirked her head sideways, looking down at him. *When will you let me in Peter? When will admit that you love me and you only want to protect me, and that you turned me down was because you're Spider-Man?*   
  
"Now that the aircraft has come to a complete stop, we can begin unloading now." He leaned up onto slightly sore elbows.   
  
She moved up into a sitting position atop him, knees straddling his waist. Cupping his masked cheek, she leaned forward. "Thanks for the flight, it was beautiful." She kissed his cheek, mask and all.  
  
Even with the fabric in the way, Peter swore he could feel her lips brushing against his skin. "Sorry we were outta the honey roasted peanuts," he muttered to stop the silence, reeling from the soft kiss, from the way her eyes looked at him, a mixture of puzzlement and adoration.   
  
She stood slowly at his words, a laughing smile on her face, and moved to lend him a hand up off the floor. But he had already pounced to his feet in a single leap. He was leaning back in a stance that would make any normal human cringe, yet seemed perfectly comfortable to do so. "It must be so weird to be able to stand like that..." she started, eyeing him.  
  
He shrugged. "Nah..."  
  
"How'd it happen?" she asked, knowing full well he'd not say. "What made you the way you are?"  
  
"Aren't you tired?" he rejoined, changing subjects as she suspected he would.  
  
"No," she denied, even as she suppressed a yawn. "Okay, maybe a little."  
  
"Get some sleep..." he urged gently, heading back towards the balcony.  
  
"I thought you were staying!" she shouted after him, voice tinged with fear.  
  
"I know, I promised, remember?" He simply shut the doors. "Thought the wind might be too much for you. It is winter," he reminded her.  
  
"Oh...yeah…" She flushed crimson, glad for the darkness in the room. She slipped into her bed, pulling the covers up to her neck.  
  
Peter stood in front of the balcony doors, afraid to move.  
  
She patted the bed beside her but he still hadn't moved a muscle. "Just till I fall asleep… please?"  
  
The plaintive note in her voice was all it took to convince him, and he moved towards her wordlessly. Sliding onto the edge of the bed, he took a seat as far from her as he possibly could while still honoring her request. Scooting up timidly on top of the blankets, he laid down gingerly, ramrod straight. He was afraid to breathe, afraid to move.  
  
She turned to him and gave a small smile. "Loosen up tiger, I don't bite."  
  
He let out a slow breath and willfully loosened his muscles.  
  
Her heart did a funny flip-flop just thinking about those muscles. "Thanks, 'll be able to sleep much better knowing someone's here. My roommate is a wuss," MJ whispered to him, scooting closer. "She's a hair-puller type fighter and she's hardly ever home."  
  
Spidey snorted. "When in doubt, tug a hair full. Wish that worked on my enemies..." he chuckled nervously, obviously not relaxed beside her.  
  
"I think you have more than enough techniques working for you," MJ tucked a hand under her chin, looking over at him.  
  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, MJ," Spidey whispered, still looking apprehensive, even with the mask on.  
  
MJ chuckled. It was amazing; here was Spider-Man, the infamous super-hero, defender of New York, protector of school children and wannabe actresses, and she seemed to make him more nervous than a bomb throwing monster on a glider ever could.  
  
"What's so funny?" he finally turned his head to her, and she could picture his face behind the mask, see it as indignant.  
  
She grinned like a chesire cat and hid her face slightly in her pillow. "Nothing..."  
  
"Oh c'mon, is this anyway to treat your super-hero stalker?" he asked, lying still, his eyes looking up at the ceiling.  
  
"It was nothing, really. I..." MJ burst into giggles again. "Am I really scarier than the Green Goblin to you?"  
  
"Why do you say that?" he asked.  
  
"Well... you're as stiff as a corpse." MJ described. "I told you I don't bite."  
  
Spidey turned his head back to her. "Sorry MJ... I just don't want you to think... well see the thing is... honestly I..." he began tripping over his words in a less than dignified manner.   
  
"Shhh... It's okay..." she soothed.   
  
"No, see I just want you to know I won't try to take advantage of you..." he revealed, his face almost as scarlet red as his mask.  
  
She smiled softly. "I know you won't." she said very sincerely.  
  
"Good..." he sighed, seeming a bit more relaxed. "Can't damage my reputation as it is..." he grinned wolfishly, not that she could see.  
  
"As what? A lady-killer?" MJ snorted. "Remember I'm the founding member of the Spider-Man fan club."  
  
"MJ..." he paused. "You ARE the fan club."  
  
She poked him in the side and grinned. "Good, means I don't have to share you with anyone else."  
  
"What are super-hero stalkers for?" Spidey drawled. "One per a customer."  
  
She rolled her eyes and turned on her side, whipping her hair onto the face of his mask.  
  
He brushed the strands away slowly, turning onto his side.  
  
"Thanks for making me feel safe tonight," she whispered sleepily, her eyes drifting shut.  
  
"You're welcome," he whispered into her ear.  
  
She smiled warmly, a dreamy thrill invading her body at the sound of his voice so near. Before she fell off to sleep she felt an arm come down to toy with the ends of her hair, brushing them gently away from her face. *Peter...* She closed her eyes, reveling in his touch. It would be a feeling she'd never forget. She'd savor this feeling so that every night onward, she'd be able to vividly recall it.  
  
The next morning when she woke up, the bed beside her was empty except for a note on a small scrap of paper left on the pillow. On it, he'd scribbled:   
  
_Courtesy, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man_


	3. Breaking Story

  
  
Chapter 3: Breaking Story  
  
Could you take my picture  
'Cuz I won't remember  
Could you take my picture  
'Cuz I won't remember  
Could you take my picture  
'Cuz I won't remember  
Yeah  
  
I don't believe in  
I don't believe in  
In your sanctity  
Your privacy  
I don't believe in  
I don't believe in  
Sanctity  
A hypocrisy  
Could everyone agree that  
No one should be left alone  
Could everyone agree that  
They should not be left alone yeah  
And I feel like a newborn  
And I feel like a newborn  
Kicking and screaming  
  
Could you take my picture  
'Cuz I won't remember  
Could you take my picture  
'Cuz I won't remember  
Could you take my picture  
'Cuz I won't remember  
Yeah  
  
Peter Parker strolled down the streets of Manhattan, headed for the Daily Bugle. Normally, he'd be rushing up the streets eagerly, wanting to get J.J. his photos as fast as possible and be on his way to gather some more. But today was different. The world seemed more cheerful. The birds chirped, the sun shone, the noisy day to day city traffic was almost music to his ears. He felt as if he'd woken up in heaven; almost nothing could dampen his good mood.   
  
Besides maybe the fact that it was very much his alter ego who'd spent the night with Mary Jane Watson at his side.   
  
He refused to let his spirits be weighed down by the thought. And likewise, he would not condemn himself with the myriad of risks he'd be putting her in just by being around her, let alone being with her. He rejected even thinking about the fact that MJ had wanted Spider-Man last night and not Peter.  
  
Being close to her last night was pure magic and he would not let the memory be tarnished with his own apprehensions. Nope, he was not going to drag himself down today.   
  
Not at all....  
  
His smile faded when the memory of Goblin dangling his Mary Jane precariously over the bridge appeared in his mind's eye. He sighed. So much for not ruining his good mood.  
  
He quickened his pace towards the Bugle and tried to push all thoughts of MJ from his mind, pleasurable and fearsome alike. He had to learn to let go of her or she'd only be hurt more, be it from some crazy villain like The Goblin, or even worse, by himself.  
  
Before he knew it, he found himself in the elevator of the Bugle and on the main news room floor.  
  
He could hear Jameson ranting already, despite his office being located as far from the elevators as space would allow. Just another typical day at the Daily Bugle, then.  
  
"Damn it, Robbie I told you, I want full coverage of that grand opening in the Diamond District! That place is crawling with millions, if not billions, of dollars in jewelry! I just know Spider-Man and his loony goon friends will be there trying to get their hands on it the first chance they get!" Jonah growled, slamming the morning's edition down on his desk. "Get Ben down there now with a crew..."  
  
"But, Jonah..."  
  
"But nothing!" Jonah snapped, going into another tirade about how no one obeyed his authority. He crowed on about how he damn well knew how to run the DB, better than any of them for the matter, and didn't need people telling him what to do like some rookie.  
  
"Hey, Pete...sure you wanna go in there?" Betty Brant asked, looking apprehensively at JJ's door.  
  
Peter smiled back at her, gripping the manila envelope with his most recent shots in his right hand. "If I wanna eat tonight, I'll confront the wilds."  
  
"Brave boy," Betty patted his shoulder sympathetically. "Now don't do anything too brave, you're not Spider-Man you know..." she laughed, and then headed back to her desk.  
  
Peter snorted softly in response, a small, secretive smile tugging his the corner's of his mouth. *Oh if you only knew,* he wanted to say. Instead, he strode up to Jonah's secretary and smiled winningly.  
  
She looked up at him while talking with someone on the phone. "Yes ma'am, I'll tell him...I will...yes....yes...ok....yes ma'am...." she rattled off perfunctorily before hanging up.  
  
"Hey..." Peter showed her the envelope.  
  
"Yeah, yeah picture boy right?" She turned back to the window, looking in on Jonah's office as he pounded his fist on his desk, cigar hanging halfway out of his mouth. She turned back to Peter. "Your funeral..." she sighed, standing up and knocking on his door.  
  
"What is it?!!" Jonah snapped, ripping the cigar from his mouth.  
  
"Sir, your wife called..."  
  
"Is that all?!" Jonah snarled.  
  
"Well, no sir. Peter Parker is here to see you..." she replied shortly, used to his foul temperament.  
  
"Well, send him in!!" Jonah ordered, putting his cigar back into his mouth and taking an exaggerated puff.  
  
"Yes sir." She turned to Parker and let him slip inside before she closed the door behind him.  
  
"What is it Parker? And it better be damn good for interrupting me!" J.J snarled.  
  
"I...uh... I got some pics of Spider-Man last night, sir. He was stopping a store robbery and a car jacking..." Peter handed over the folder of his alter ego.  
  
"More like causing them, that glory hound!" Jonah flipped open the folder, thumbing nonchalantly through the photographs.  
  
Peter opened his mouth to protest, but on pain of past experience, shut it tight and sighed instead. There'd be no point in arguing with Jonah, his mind had been made up long ago. He'd never admit Spider-Man was only trying to help.  
  
Robbie wandered to J.J's side, to get a look at the pictures himself. As usual, he scanned them quickly and then looked up at Parker with a smile.  
  
Peter always took this as a sign that Jonah would buy. He stood expressionless while Jonah continued to mull them over.  
  
"Nothing special here, why are you wasting my time, Parker?! You wanna get paid, go take some shots of the jewelry store opening! I'm sure your webslinging buddy 'll be there with one of his goons, wreaking havoc on the city!" He slapped the folder shut and tossed it on his desk.  
  
"But..." Peter started.  
  
"I'll give you 200 for these take it or leave it!" Jonah stubbed out his cigar. "Plus what 'll give you for whatever you bring me on the jewelry store opening. And they better not be as crappy as these are!!"  
  
Robbie handed the slip with his payment information written on it. "Take this down after you get back, Peter. Take Ben Urich with you to the Diamond District. Get some nice shots Pete."  
  
"Thanks..." Peter tucked the paper in his pocket and stepped outside to find Ben Urich.  
  
***************  
  
Down at the Diamond Distract a small crowd had gathered around the grand opening of a new jewelry store called Stockhanoffs. The reason for the crowd, Peter surmised, was because the Mayor of New York had personal involvement with the shop. Apparently, it was his son-in-law's new business and he was there to cut the ribbon on the store's door.  
  
So, of course, citizens had to come down and see what all the talk was about. There had been earlier reports that the store was loaded with the finest of jewelry in all the world, ranging from standard diamonds and rings to crowns and necklaces worn by the royal families of various European countries. It was even rumored that a Russian czar's staff was on display inside.   
  
Some questioned how someone like the Mayor's son-in-law had come into possession of such a goldmine in jewels and precious stones. Some just wanted to see the jewelry in question, never being able to afford such treasures. And then.... Peter sighed, there'd be some there who just wanted to steal it. If there was one thing J.J.J. was right about in his life, it was that someone was going to be foolhardy enough to try and rob the place minutes after it had been officially open for business.   
  
Ben went around asking questions, but not before grumbling about being handed a lousy assignment and how Jonah had no right handing him this sinker of a story. He then told Peter he might as well take some shots of the Mayor cutting the ribbon with his son-in-law and then save the rest of his film for the jewels themselves.  
  
Pete nodded, already on his way off to complete his own tasks, spying the faces in the crowd, waiting for some warning from his spider sense if something were to go wrong.  
  
"Ladies and gentleman!! May I have your attention please!?" The Mayor shouted. "It's now time for the unveiling of Stockhanoff's Fine Diamonds and Jewelry." He paused so the small crowd could clap and cheer, smiling and standing still for the cameras. He then continued once the crowd had quieted. "It is a great honor and privilege that I can share this special day with my son-in-law Carl, and with you fine citizens. Now, may I present to you...." the Mayor paused, his scissor poised upon the red ribbon, "…Stockhanoff's!" He cut the ribbon with ceremonious fervor amid a plague of camera flashes and murmurs as the two strands of red ribbon fell to the ground. "We are officially open for business!!"  
  
The crowd erupted into a chorus of cheers as Peter took his pictures. He had no sooner finished snapping a shot of the Mayor shaking hands with his son-in-law, when his spider sense went off, a desperate tingling sensation that encompassed his body as a whole.  
  
He scanned the crowd, looking for the danger that would soon be approaching. Unable to locate anything suspicious in the crowd, he wasted no time jogging off to an abandoned corner a few stores down to change. He stripped off his street clothes, revealing his blue and red costume underneath before slipping on his mask and diving up the wall for a better view of the crowd.  
  
He managed to get his camera set up before the first scream rang out.  
  
Somewhere in the middle of he crowd, a man with a fedora hat and a long trench coat had pulled out a razor sharp knife shaped like a boomerang and had tossed it into the window of the newly christened store. Then, he stripped off both his coat and hat before jumping up from the masses, hovering above them a moment before landing atop the shattered glass that remained of the window. "Flee for your lives New York, Boomerang has come for this store's valuables and he cannot be stopped!"  
  
"Says who?" Spider-Man swung down on a strand of webbing, looking very much like Tarzan. Except without the whole loin-cloth thing.  
  
"Ah! The bug-man!" Boomerang looked up as the crowd dissipated around him, running scared. He launched himself into the air at Spider-Man, propelled by jet boots. "I had a feeling you'd show. So I brought you a little present!" he tossed a large boomerang that caught on fire as it became airborne.  
  
"That's arachnid to you, Boomy!" Spider-Man rejoined, separating himself from his webline and leaping mid-air for a nearby awning, effectively dodging the weapon. He landed safely and spun around to see Boomerang looking his way.  
  
"You may be able to outrun me, web-head but you'll never outmaneuver my Razor-Boomerang!!" he threatened, pulling out a silver shaped boomerang from his side and shaking it. It immediately split into 2 blades at each tip. He flung it hard at Spider-Man and laughed manically.  
  
Spidey barely had time to duck the blade before recalling that it would be most prudent to stay down as it looped back towards him. Once it passed, he rose slightly, shaking his head with mock severity. "First pumpkin bombs and goblins, now Crocodile Dundee here with his homing-pigeon toys of doom... I feel like 'm stuck in one of those bad Australian beer commercials..." He flipped forward, bouncing down to street level and landing on the balls of his feet and his palms. Whipping around, he pointed his arm out and shot a webline at the villain. It wasn't long enough to reach.  
  
The Boomerang continued laughing like a lunatic when the web fell short, and reached once more for one of his deadly weapons. This one was designed with more fatal intent than the previous. It was larger in size and had four sharp spikes protruding from each end and was peppered with miniscule pin-like ridges all around. Boomerang leaned back and tossed it with such ferocity that Spider-Man could hear the wind whistling between the points.  
  
Spider-Man didn't think it was possible for the weapon to reach him, judging by the distance it would have to travel. But it was closing in on him fast. How could a man throw that hard!? He dodged left, but not before one of the spikes managed to catch his side, just under the arm. He flinched in pain and fell to a knee.  
  
The boomerang continued its path into the store, shattering more glass before returning to its master's hand, loaded with a rainbow of jewels and other such baubles.  
  
Spidey got up, clutching his bleeding side. "Nice throw, Boomy, ever consider giving up being a crook and pitching for the Yankees?" he quipped, before shooting another strand of webbing, this time at the boomerang, which successfully made contact. However, it shredded upon impact with the blades.  
  
Boomerang growled at his adversary's comment. He had once been a major league pitcher once, now reduced to common robbery to find his means. "You're no match for me wall-crawler!" Boomerang hastily pocketed some jewels before reaching for another boomerang. "Hate to steal and run, but places to go, more things to steal you see!" he quipped (rather lamely, in Spider-Man's opinion) before tossing one last boomerang, this time at what remained of the crowd that had braved death to stay and watch the two battle it out.   
  
Spidey saw the ticking mechanisms of bombs attached to the boomerang and cursed under his breath, jumping as high as physically possible to intercept it. He grabbed it mid-air, somersaulting to the ground before flinging his own weapon back at his opponent.  
  
"Nooo!!!" Boomerang shouted, shielding his face like a coward.  
  
The boomerang exploded seconds before it reached its target, causing Boomerang to fall to the ground with the impact of force.  
  
Spidey was on him in no time, tying him up with his webbing. "Now then Boomy, that'll teach you to throw things at nice people. Don't you know boomerangs always come back in the end? Sometimes with a real bang!" Spidey cracked, lifting the now indisposed baddie like a sack of garbage, wrapped from neck to toe in sticky webbing.  
  
"You'll be sorry, you cockroach!!" Boomerang threatened (however ineffectually) as police cars began to surround them.  
  
"Ouch, that's harsh, Boomy... I'm a spider not a bug, okay? Didn't you go to school? Say it with me now...c'mon...a...rach...nid..." Spidey saw the policemen start filing out of their cars, and decided to stop baiting the man. However fun it was to taunt him, arrest wasn't worth it. "And that's my cue to exit," he drawled, extending his arm into the air, pointer and pinky fingers facing outward, to cause a silky strand of webbing to discharge and attach to the top of one of the larger buildings in the District. "Give my regards to the Crocodile Hunter!" he shouted to the officers, saluting mockingly before he leapt into the air.  
  
"Thank you, Spider-Man!!!" a man's voice called out after him. It was Carl Stockhanoff himself.   
  
Spidey looked down and acknowledged the man with a friendly wave, before swinging out of sight to retrieve his camera and clothes.  
  
Minutes later Peter emerged from the alley with camera in hand, snapping some closing shots of the Boomerang goon being shoved into the back of the squad car. Then he captured some shots of an officer handing back the jewels to Carl Stockhanoff.  
  
"Well I'll de damned, Parker!" Ben raved, coming up to clasp him on the shoulder. "Did we ever get a story today! Remind me to thank Jonah when we get back."  
  
Peter smiled. "Sure thing, Ben."  
  
The reporter snorted. "Like hell I will..." he laughed, lighting a cigarette. "Did you get some pictures, boy?"  
  
"Yes sir, some nice ones, I hope..." Peter nodded, looking at his camera.  
  
"Hope so kid, I know how hard freelancing can be. Specially for J.J." Ben took a drag. "I'll be damned you know... Stockhanoff over there gave us an exclusive you know...couldn't stop rambling on about how happy he was Spider-Man was here to save the day, and his fortune!"  
  
"Really?" Peter's smile widened. "Maybe now Jonah will stop thinking the worst of him."  
  
"Like hell kid.... Once J.J. set his mind to something, he'll never change it, more stubborn than my mother-in-law and that's saying a lot y'know? The woman's a donkey. In more ways than one," Ben chuckled, his cigarette dangling precariously from his lips. "And J.J's no different. He'll do anything to keep his way in the papers."  
  
"Including reporting biases and lies? Would he really ignore the statements the people here made abut Spider-Man?" Pete asked as he rewound his film.  
  
"Nah, J.J.'s a by the book man, he'll print every word quote for quote..." Ben responded, ashes falling off his cigarette still dangling from his lips. "Just don't mean he won't try to tweak it to his liking. He'll still get his point across in the end, if not with the headlines than with his own editorial column. He's got a way with words, I'll give him that."  
  
Peter shrugged, knowing he'd probably never alter J.J.'s opinion, but if he could get the people of New York to change their minds about him, that was all that really mattered.  
  
"Well, we should head back before someone else breaks this story before we can," Ben stated, going off to hail a taxi. He turned back to Peter before he was too far away. "By the way... just what the hell was that idiot thinking? Boomerang's...." he snorted and trudged off. "Boomerangs, goblins and spiders... what's this world coming to, eh Pete?"   
  
  



	4. Messages

  
Chapter 4: Messages  
  
I am the son  
And the heir  
Of a shyness  
That is criminally vulgar  
I am the son  
And the heir  
Of nothing in particular  
  
You shut your mouth  
How can you say,  
I go about things the wrong way?  
I am human and I need to be loved  
Just like everybody else does  
  
  
Peter smiled to himself despite the throbbing pain in his side. The blade of the boomerang had caught him badly enough to cause pain and irritation, and though he wouldn't need stitches, it was still pretty deep. Almost deeper than the gash the Goblin's flying bats gave him on Thanksgiving. But, the amount of money in his pocket more than made up for it. He'd have enough to pay his fair share of the rent for the month and still have enough left over to buy some decent Christmas presents for his friends.  
  
Thinking of his friends reminded him of Harry. Harry had been staying at his father's home (his home now, Peter supposed) putting together some of his belongings and the like. Peter had basically been on his own since the funeral. However, Harry still paid his half the rent so Peter could stay. It made Pete feel more guilt than he already did, but there wasn't much he could say. *Gee Harry, sorry 'bout taking your dad away from you, sorry he went nuts and I hadda stand by and watch him destroy himself and almost me and my loved ones in the process. Really appreciate you letting me keep the apartment though. You're a pal.*  
  
Peter sighed, gingerly pulling his fall jacket around his wound to hid the blood that had begun seeping through his t-shirt. Once he got home he'd bandage it up and by this time tomorrow, the thing should be pretty much healed. One more small victory to chalk up to his spider strength.  
  
Pete turned up his block, happy to have the rest of the day to himself. Spider-Man had done his good for the day, and Peter Parker had gotten paid a good sum of money for both his photos from last night, and the ones he'd taken today. The latter ones had made J.J.J. a very happy man. Not that you could ever tell by the constant scowl he wore on his face. So far, it had been a pretty good day.  
  
*************  
  
Mary Jane sighed forlornly, stomping up the stairs to her building. Another audition blown. She swore there was someone out there trying to personally destroy her career. Which had yet to begin... she sometimes wondered if it ever would. Gathering up her mail at her box, she grumbled to herself as the elevator took her up to her floor.   
  
Upon entering her apartment, she called out to see if her roommate was home. "Gina? You here?"   
  
No reply. Which didn't surprise her. MJ liked her roommate well enough, she just hardly ever saw her. Gina was a nurse and was hardly ever home, constantly being on call. Which usually left MJ with the whole apartment to herself.  
  
What she did find was a note on their kitchen table left for her.  
  
MJ,  
  
Your aunt dropped off a box of stuff from your old apartment. I left it on your bed. Hope I can borrow that awesome looking emerald necklace of yours one day! ;) Yes, I was snooping again! Sorry! See you tomorrow afternoon, working a late shift again.  
  
Gina  
  
MJ headed to her room and immediately saw the box lying on her blue bedspread. She had planned to move in with Gina a few days before the Goblin attacked her. It was a good thing she did. Her old apartment was left in nothing but shambles; littered in bits of broken glass and shattered wood.   
  
And the contents of this box.  
  
She dug in, pulling out her jewelry box, the emerald necklace Gina inquired about still gleaming behind the dirty glass case. She also pulled out some old pictures and frames before coming across her old answering machine. "Hmph..." Aunt Anna was never one to keep junk so she musta had a reason not to trash the beat up answering machine," she muttered to herself, examining it in her hands.  
  
Shrugging, MJ plugged it in and it immediately she saw the red light begin beeping, telling her there was a stored message. "No wonder she kept it." MJ pressed the play button and after a recording told her the time and date of the message she felt a chill run down her spine. It was the night the Green Goblin kidnapped her.  
  
_ "MJ, it's Peter... you there.... hello.... you there??"_  
  
MJ felt another chill, and although she'd heard the message before, it seemed like she was really hearing it for the first time. He sounded so frightened, so worried.  
  
_"Well I'm just calling to check up on you. Will you call me when you get in, okay? All right, well... don't... don't... don't go up any dark alleys..."_  
  
*Weird....just weird,* MJ thought.  
  
All of a sudden, she heard that oh so familiar evil cackle and screamed in fright. When she realized it was only the answering machine playing that demonic voice that would forever haunt her, she managed to calm down somewhat. Quieting, she poised over the machine, listening to the message for the second time.  
  
_ "Hello?" Peter had called when the phone was picked up.  
  
"Can Spider-Man come out to play?" The Goblin's wicked voice teased.  
  
"Where is she?" Peter demanded, voice shaky with concern._  
  
MJ's heart pounded and her hands suddenly became sweaty. This had to mean... at first, she never suspected anything about Peter's call, thinking that it had been plain old worry about her safety. She thought it was his way of telling her he cared for her after what happened in the hospital. But now, hearing it a second time, and after the kiss and all the thoughts of him being Spider-Man...  
  
_ "The Queensboro Bridge, come rescue her if you dare," Goblin threatened. _  
  
Then there was a click as he hung up, the dial tone the only sound blaring through the room.  
  
The machine played an automatic message as it reached the end of the tape, telling her to press 1 to save, 2 to rewind, or 3 to erase.  
  
MJ didn't move. She felt paralyzed as another thought came to her mind, another piece of the puzzle sliding into place from that night.  
  
She squeezed her eyes shut tight; remembering the feeling of dangling from the Goblin's grasp and something else he said as well.   
  
_ "Let die the woman you love...."_  
  
"Oh Peter...you really are Spider-Man...." MJ whispered as if he were in the room beside her.  
  
She sat, unmoving, for what seemed like hours though in reality, only minutes had passed. Then, with a rush of resolve, she stood up, unplugged the machine, grabbed her purse, and headed for the door. She had to see him.  
  
*********  
  
She knocked firmly on the door.   
  
Peter had just finished bandaging his wound and was slipping on a crisp white t-shirt when he heard the knock. Wondering who it could be, he ran a hand through his hair before jogging downstairs to answer the door.  
  
MJ waited there, tapping her foot anxiously. She was nearly exploding with all things she wanted to say. Like how she knew about his secret and how she thought it was a stupid excuse for turning her away, especially if he loved her like she loved him. He had to stop denying who he was and what he felt for her. It was doing no one any good. Resolved, she put on her firmest expression.  
  
All that changed as soon as he opened the door.  
  
One look into his soulful blue eyes, one second of seeing his expression, the way he turned surprised, and then lit up from within upon seeing her, was all it took to make her melt. She forgot all her anger and pent up emotions when she saw him. She forgot that she was there to confront him. Instead, an understanding reached her when they locked gazes, and she knew that she was really here to tell him that she understood his secret and why he kept it. All of this from one glance at his boyish face and easy smile.  
  
"MJ...." he whispered, drowning in the sight of her. He felt a giant, goofy schoolboy smile tug on his lips.  
  
"Hey, Tiger," she greeted with a small smile, at a loss for words. She knew they needed to talk, to clear things up between them. And she wanted the truth from him this time. But, was it right for her to force it out of him? All he wanted was to keep her safe. But she was tired of being coddled. She wanted to be with Peter, at any risk. It would be far worse a life without him. Yet, her voice died on her lips. All she could manage was another small smile before asking if he could come in.  
  
Peter stepped aside hastily, letting her in. He closed the door behind him, fidgeting in a bout of nervousness. "H-how are you?"  
  
MJ smiled tensely. "Okay. Yourself?"  
  
He ran a hand through his hair smiling shyly. "I'm fine. I'm good."  
  
MJ's smile widened, brightened a little at his news. "Good," she nodded, staring at him. He was wearing a thin white t-shirt and a pair of faded jeans. She couldn't help noticing the attractive bulge of every muscle the thin fabric clung to.   
  
Peter felt his face flush with heat as she stood there, just staring at him intensely. "Uhh..." He could feel himself coming undone at the seams under her gaze. How did she do this to him? "Uhh, not that 'm not happy to see you MJ...but..."  
  
She shook her head, snapping out of her trance. " Right… I uh, I just wanted to see how you were. I haven't heard from you since...since the funeral." She played with the tie on her trench coat, looking slightly pained at the reference. "I mean..." she met his eyes. "You said we'd still be friends and all..."  
  
"Of course," he replied readily.  
  
"Good..." she replied just as quickly. Needing a change of subject to dispel the awkwardness, she looked around the apartment, not having been to visit since Thanksgiving. "Harry around?"  
  
"Uh, no...usually he stays at the mansion. He still pays his rent though, so most of the time 'm by myself here..." he answered. "Hey, do you want any coffee or something? Take your coat off?"  
  
"Coffee'd be nice," she replied, easing out of her coat and handing it to him.  
  
It was his turn to stare. She was wearing a soft purple knitted sweater and bleached denim jeans. She was gorgeous. As always.  
  
She giggled under his wandering gaze. "Like my sweater?"  
  
He nodded, smiling that sheepish, boyish smile. The smile she'd come to love, much like him, with its softness of expression and myriad of adorable dimples. "Wanna borrow it?" She cocked her head to the side. Was he even on planet earth?  
  
"That'd be nice of you," Peter replied automatically, too enthralled by the emerald diamonds sparkling in her eyes to acknowledge the nature of the question.  
  
MJ laughed at his response, a soft, but genuinely heartfelt laugh. This was the man under Spider-Man's mask? If she didn't know better, she'd almost toss out her thoughts of Peter Parker and Spider-Man being one in the same and check herself into Bellevue Hospital's psych ward.  
  
"What?" Peter asked, regarding her curiously.  
  
"Pete, I never pictured you as a cross-dresser, really..." MJ couldn't resist and leaned over to pinch his dimpled cheek.  
  
Peter's smile died and he coughed discreetly. "Uh, oh sorry… I wasn't thinking..." he excused, turning to hang her coat over the armchair. "Um, lemme go see 'bout that coffee."  
  
MJ nodded and sobered, sitting down sedately. "So... how's Aunt May?"  
  
"She's well. She asks about you all the time," Peter informed her, pouring them each a cup of coffee.  
  
"That's sweet. Tell her I said hi," MJ instructed him, meaning it. She'd come to care a great deal from Peter's aunt. "How's working for the Bugle?"  
  
"Okay, I actually scored pretty well today. Caught some nice shots of Spider-Man fighting some whacky villain who called himself the Boomerang this afternoon. He was trying to rob that new jewelry store in the District." Peter handed her a cup, sitting down on the hand woven rug, opposite her side of the coffee table.  
  
"Oh? How is he?" she couldn't resist asking.  
  
"Well, we really didn't have time to chat," Peter swallowed hard. What was she asking for? He'd just seen her last night. "He seemed pretty tied up with that Boomerang moron. Actually caught a piece of poor Spidey with some bladed boomerang."  
  
"Was he okay?" MJ worried, even though he was sitting right in front of her, as fine as can be.  
  
"Yeah, only seemed to be a flesh wound." Peter informed, touched be her concern. Sorta...  
  
"Ah..." MJ nodded, setting down her mug. She couldn't resist. "I saw him last night."  
  
"Did you?" Peter played it cool.  
  
"We slept together."  
  
Coffee spurted out all over the place when Peter choked.   
  
MJ made a blundered face, gritting her teeth together. *Whoops.*  
  
Peter pounded on his chest staring wide eyed at her, coughing.  
  
"Pete, shame on you. I never thought you had such a dirty mind." MJ tsk-tsked. "It wasn't like _that_." *Like I need to tell you.*  
  
"Than just what was it like, Mary Jane?" he croaked in a mocking, motherly tone.  
  
"I was lonely, and I was scared." MJ crossed her arms, suddenly defensive. "Something you'd know if you were my friend. He just kept me company till I fell asleep. Nothing happened."  
  
"I wouldn't need an explanation if something did happen, MJ," Peter responded, staring down guiltily at the soiled coffee table. "That's your own business, not mine."  
  
"It could've been yours, Pete." MJ rejoined. "Which is why I'm really actually here."  
  
"So much for just wondering how I was huh?" Peter felt himself growing defensive too. He had to be. "MJ, we've been through this."  
  
"Don't treat me like 'm some crazy stalker chasing you down, Peter Parker!" MJ stood, seething with anger. "You know me better than that." She felt herself shaking with rage. "Or I thought you knew me."  
  
Peter immediately felt guilty. "I do. I'm sorry, MJ."  
  
"I don't know who the hell you are anymore, Peter..." MJ felt her eyes begin to water up. She blinked back the tears furiously. "If you didn't want to be friends..."  
  
"You know who I am," Peter replied without much conviction. "You've always known. And I do want to be friends."  
  
MJ sunk to her seat, his words ringing in her ears.  
  
_"You know who I am..."_  
  
She found herself transported back in time, to the garden rooftop the day of the World Unity Festival, staring at Spider-Man.  
  
_"You know who I am..."_  
  
He was standing before her in all his glory, barely registering a labored breath despite his earlier excursions. He looked over at the people upon the rooftop.   
  
_ "Don't mind us, she just needed to use the elevator!"  
_  
*His voice seemed so familiar,* she'd thought, just as he'd turned to leave.  
  
_"Wait!" _  
  
He looked back at her, waiting for her to speak.  
  
_ "Who are you?"  
  
"You know who I am..."_  
  
MJ snapped back to reality. Now she was more sure than ever. He couldn't trick her anymore. Peter Parker was Spider-Man and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to make her think otherwise. "Yeah...I guess I do know who you are, Pete..."  
  
Peter stared at her with nervousness bubbling up in his stomach. Her words had an eerie tone of finality to them. Just what did she mean? How come she'd just spaced out like that? "MJ, are you okay?"  
  
She nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, 'm fine." She paused, feeling nervous. "Pete, we really need to talk..."  
  
"We are talking." He seemed confused.  
  
"About something important," she started, her palms sweating all over again. She wiped them on her jeans. "Pete, it's something I don't think you really want me to know...."  
  
The rest of her words didn't register because his spider sense was screaming at him in full power. He wrinkled his brow in thought, trying to signal just what it was coming from. At first he thought MJ was going to say something that could be dangerous, but the sound of sirens drew him away from that thought, the premonition signaling danger from the outside world.  
  
He jumped up quickly, startling MJ.  
  
"What?" she searched his face.  
  
"MJ, I gotta go..." he started for the door, but stopped to grab a large camera bag.  
  
"What?! Why?! Pete!" she jumped up.   
  
"I...I...forgot!" his mind searched for a lie. "I forgot to get those photos to the Bugle!" He took another step for the door.  
  
"But Peter!" MJ pleaded. "We have to talk!"  
  
"Later MJ, I promise," he hurried his answer. "I just really gotta go right now!"  
  
"Don't you need your coat?" was all she could think to say.  
  
"No time!" Peter swung open the door.   
  
That's when she noticed the blotchy crimson stain on his white t-shirt just below his arm. "Peter, you're bleeding!" she called, but was answered only with the slamming of his door.  
  
Bleeding...?  
  
MJ fell to her seat a second time, their words from earlier flashing in her head.  
  
_ "Well, we really didn't have time to chat. He seemed pretty tied up with that Boomerang moron. Actually caught a piece of poor Spidey with some bladed boomerang."  
  
"Was he okay?"  
  
"Yeah, only seemed to be a flesh wound." _  
  
Mary Jane shot up, grabbed her coat and ran out the door after him. "Wait for me Spider-Man..."  
  
***********  
  
Spider-Man tossed his camera bag onto the rooftop of his building, careful to bring the camera with him, leaving his clothes inside the bag. Once the necessities were gathered, he sprinted across the roof and leapt into the lights of the city below. His webbing connected with the building across the street and he swung along the side, the cold winter air stinging him as he raced against its force.   
  
His mind went back to leaving Mary Jane all alone in his apartment as he swung and sighed, reminded of one of the many reasons why they could never have a healthy relationship. He would always be abruptly leaving in the middle of something important. Just what had she wanted to talk about?  
  
_ "Pete, it's something I don't really think you want to me to know...." _  
  
He jumped onto a smaller building and looked down below, at the flashing lights of the squad cars. His mind wandered to what she was talking about. What could she know?  
  
Gunshots rang out and Pete knew there was no more time to dwell on thoughts of MJ. Spider-Man had work to do.   
  
His eyes scanned the streets below and settled on a lone figure clothed in black, running down the sidewalk with something silver in his hand, its shine glittering in the moonlight. The culprit ran ahead steadily, crashing into anyone or anything that got in his way. "Peekaboo I see you..." Spider-Man muttered, swinging down onto a light pole a few feet ahead of the man. He set up his camera quickly and went to work.  
  
Peter was just about to swing down and intercept the man when he noticed another figure coming out from an alley, oblivious to the man who was about to run into them.  
  
"Look out!" Spider-Man called swooping down just as the gunman collided with the figure.  
  
A woman screamed, and Spider-Man looked back to see that was the figure from the alley.  
  
The gunman had stumbled to his knees and was about to set off on a run again when he noticed Spider-Man. "You!" he cried. He grabbed the woman by the arm, pulling her to her feet in front of him, like a shield. He placed the nozzle of his gun at her temple. "Don't move an inch, you insect, or the lady gets it!"  
  
"Ooh that's a new one," Peter replied with sarcastic admiration. "Good for you."  
  
"I mean it! I'll kill her..."  
  
The woman gasped in fear, struggling not to cry. She wasn't winning.  
  
Peter faced the victim. She was about his own age, her gray eyes filled with fright, though she looked back at him with wonderment. "Don't worry miss..."  
  
"Oh she better worry!" the gunman pushed the barrel harder against her temple, causing her to wince.  
  
"Easy there..." Spidey warned. "Why don't you just let her go and give up easily? It won't hurt nearly as much that way."  
  
The gunman laughed. "I'm the one holding the cards here spider-freak!"  
  
"And you're obviously not playing with a full deck..." Spider-Man drawled dryly. "Say… I was never much a card player anyway. I think 'Go Fish' is the extent of my talent. I like 'Gin Rummy' well enough and all...but, well...how bout you show me your cards and I'll show you mine?" Instantly, he shot a strand of webbing at the gun, snapping it from the man's grasp before he even had time to register Spidey's distinct style of humor.  
  
The woman elbowed her attacker in the ribs causing him to double over in pain and she ran back into the alley from which she'd come when he released her.  
  
Spidey flipped his way (showing off for the camera) to the harmless buffoon; dropped kicked him again in his already sore ribs, and then webbed the incapacitated burglar up tightly. "Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite," Peter cooed in his ear, winking (for his own self humor) before the man passed out.  
  
"Thank you!" the woman enthused, peeking out of the alley and stepping around her would-be murderer.  
  
Peter turned about face at the sound of his voice and nearly fell off his feet. She was drop dead beautiful. No MJ...but still... From even closer up, her steel gray eyes were filled with warmth and although tousled, her long, wavy champagne blonde hair framed her face like the halo of an angel.  
  
"Spider-Man, I presume..." she smiled.  
  
"The friendly neighborhood kind....well the one and only kind really..." he replied.  
  
She giggled. "You're so funny, not to mention brave. And fast." she put an arm on his shoulder. "I can't thank you enough. You'd think I'd have to worry about being attacked in an alley, not coming out of one..."  
  
"What were you doing?" Spidey inquired.  
  
"Oh, how rude of me! My name's Amber Dieson. I just moved into the city, from Long Island. I'm gonna be working for the Daily Bugle. A freelancer. It stinks but..."  
  
"Nah, it doesn't," Spidey laughed. "Okay, well, it does, but you gotta do what you gotta do eh?"  
  
"Yeah." She crinkled her nose when she smiled. "I suppose so."  
  
"There!" a man's voice shouted and cops began coming in from all ends.  
  
"Well looks like you got your hands on your first story Ms. Dieson." Spidey looked up to his camera, fixated atop the light pole. "And as you'll learn, they're my cue to hightail it outta here. It's been a pleasure meeting you." He was about to leap up, but paused briefly. "Oh, and J.J.J doesn't like me so much, so you might wanna be careful with what you say about me..."  
  
"I'll write the truth. You saved my life, and you're a hero." she answered, a promise in her voice.   
  
Spidey snorted. "I'd love to see that in a print J.J. approved," he replied jokingly, before jumping onto the light pole and discretely retrieving his camera. With his livelihood secured for another few weeks, he shot a strand of webbing and soared into the night sky. "Looks like my fan club is expanding," he chuckled to himself, swinging in-between buildings. That made him think of MJ. He'd have to get back to her, if she was still waiting for him.  
  
*************  
Earlier:  
  
MJ had stood outside Peter's apartment door, wondering where he'd gone. She tried to think like Spider-Man and glanced at the elevator. "Up," she muttered, heading for the rooftop. She ran for the stairwell and jogged up the next 2 flights, to the roof. The door wasn't locked (surprisingly) and she stepped out into the cold night air. It was dark, but the lights from Manhattan offered some illumination of the dirty rooftop.   
  
MJ searched the area for any signs of Spider-Man. She shivered when she neared the edge. She'd never been scared of heights until her ordeal on the bridge.   
  
There was nothing here. No sign.  
  
"Guess my instincts were wrong..." she sighed. Where else would he have gone? She turned away from the ledge and nearly tripped on a brown bag lying on the floor.  
  
MJ gasped. It was Peter's camera bag.   
  
She knelt down and looked inside. She saw his jeans, his sneakers and the telltale white shirt with the red stain.   
  
"Well Pete, unless you're running around the city naked....you definitely are Spider-Man," she concluded, packing it all back inside to hide her snooping.  
  
In the background of city noise so far below, the usual flow of car horns blaring and people talking was interrupted when MJ heard a car backfire.   
  
But it wasn't a car. It had been gunshots.  
  
Then sirens.  
  
"Peter!" she yelped and ran for the roof ledge.  
  
*************  
  
MJ arrived just in time to see Spider-Man webbing up a man on the floor before a young woman approached him. They had a short conversation and MJ watched as Spider-Man jumped to a light pole, grabbed something, and then swung away into the night.  
  
MJ was about to follow him, but turned back to look at the woman who was now surrounded by ten or fifteen officers.  
  
"Spider-Man saved me!" she shouted to them with a smile.  
  
MJ smiled. "Way to go, Spidey," she murmured, before remembering herself. She turned around and ran back towards the roof access door. She had to try to make it back before Peter did, now she had proof, and there was nowhere else for Peter to hide.  
  
************  
  
Peter landed on the roof of his building with a thud, and searched for his camera bag. He was later than he thought he'd be. He'd wanted to drop the roll of film off at the Bugle to be developed. But with time so short, he'd had to forgo. He really had to talk to Harry about turning their spare bathroom into his own private darkroom. He needed to be careful with all of the pictures he took of his alter-ego. Left with no choice, he'd decided to leave the pictures to be developed tomorrow. He'd sealed the roll in its film casing before locking it securely in his locker back at the Bugle.  
  
Finally locating his camera bag on the floor, Peter decided it best to change into his civvies in his room rather than out here in the bitter New York cold. It looked (and felt) like it was going to snow at any moment. He slung the bag over his shoulder and started climbing down towards his balcony. Finding his window open a crack, as he always left it, he slid soundlessly into his room.  
  
He gasped in shock when the light flickered on.  
  
MJ sat on his bed, legs crossed, and a bemusedly triumphant expression on her face.  
  
Dumb-struck by her presence there, Peter was too surprised to do more than stare at her.  
  
MJ stared down at him, where he still knelt in his spider crouch. "Hey, Tiger..."  
  



	5. The Wicked Lies We Tell

Chapter 5: The Wicked Lies We Tell  
  
_We both know that I shouldn't be here  
This is wrong  
And baby it's killin' me, it's killin' you  
Both of us tryin' to be strong  
I've got somewhere else to be  
Promises to keep  
Someone else who loves me  
And trusts me fast asleep  
I've made up my mind  
There is no turning back  
She's been good to me  
And she deserves better than that  
  
It's the hardest thing  
I'll ever have to do  
To look you in the eye  
And tell you I don't love you  
It's the hardest thing  
I'll ever have to lie  
To show no emotion  
When you start to cry  
I can't let you see  
What you mean to me  
When my hands are tied  
And my heart's not free  
We're not meant to be  
It's the hardest thing  
I'll ever have to do  
To turn around and walk away  
Pretending I don't love you  
  
I know that we'll meet again  
Fate has a place and time  
So you can get on with your life  
I've got to be cruel to be kind  
Like Dr. Zhivago  
All my love I'll be sending  
And you will never know  
'Cause there can be no happy ending  
  
Maybe another time, another day  
As much as I want to, I can't stay  
I've made up my mind  
There is no turning back  
She's been good to me  
And she deserves better than that_  
  
"Mary Jane," Peter gulped, voice less stable than he would have liked. *Think, Parker, think...*  
  
"Spider-Man." She raised her brows.  
  
"Wwwwhat are you d-doing in Parker's bedroom?" he stuttered.  
  
"I could ask you the same thing," MJ replied.  
  
"I came to tell him some information," Peter lied.  
  
"I came to talk to him. About you." She crossed her arms.  
  
"Me? What for?"   
  
Spidey still hadn't moved.  
  
MJ sighed. She was beginning to doubt whether or not she could force this out of him. Maybe she should really let him come to her with it, on his own, one day, when he decided he could trust her with his secret, with his heart. But what if he never did? What if she had to spend the rest of her life hiding his secret and not being a part of his life? She didn't think she could live with that. "I...I don't know," she responded, frowning. It was all the more hard to do this with that mask on his face.  
  
He stood up, finally.  
  
She studied the opaque slots of his mask, knowing the eyes underneath, knowing their look, their expression to the minutest detail. She swallowed, nervously. "No. I do know what I need to talk to you about… I needed to see you…because… because I know who you are," she finally whispered, bracing herself for the backlash.   
  
Peter too stunned to do anything. "Huh?" he squeaked.  
  
She sighed, her voice resigned to state the obvious. "Peter I know it's you."  
  
"MJ, it's me Spider-Man," he laughed, though he was scared half out of his mind.  
  
She tried to blink back the tears at the sound of his denial, but she found that they'd already begun to fall steadily. "Stop playing games, Peter Parker. I KNOW you're Spider-Man!"  
  
"Mary Jane, I'm sorry that you're so confused about this," Peter tried desperately, "but…"  
  
"Just STOP!" she demanded, burying her face in her hands, trying to regain her composure. "I have proof," she declared, once she was able to find her voice.  
  
Peter felt nauseated. *Proof? What? How?* He swayed on his feet.  
  
"Will you hear me out, please?" MJ reached out to touch his arm.  
  
He didn't move, didn't feel her touch, he was devoid of everything inside except for fear.  
  
"I've had my suspicions for a month now." She began to pace, biting her nails. "I mean, I would've never guessed nerdy, scrawny, Peter Parker could be some muscled-bound super- hero who managed to save my life more than once. Especially with those skills and that flashy, witty personality. So much different than you, Peter. And then all that not different. You have always been there to save me, even as just plain ol' Peter Parker. Like I told you last night... you make me feel a way only Peter's made me feel before. You make me feel the same safety and warmth I only felt around Peter. You have that witty sense of humor too at times, and you certainly aren't scrawny or nerdy anymore...  
  
I guess my first suspicion began when you saved me from the Festival. I asked you who you were and you told me I knew who you were, and then you said that again tonight. There was no mistaking your voice tonight. Then the night you saved me in the alley... Peter, I kissed you and I swore I'd never forget what that was like. Then I kissed you again at the funeral. Did you really think I wouldn't know your kiss? Just because our first was upside down? Peter, I love you and I know your lips now. I know your kiss and it was the same as Spider-Man's. That's what really kept me believing all this time that you were Spider-Man.  
  
Then there was the message you left on my machine." She paused to take a deep breath. "Now, I know I told you before that I listened to it. But I listened to it again today and I heard you and the Goblin talking. I heard him trying to goad you into coming after me. I understood it better this time.  
  
Then the funeral..." she had to stop a moment to gather herself, tears welling anew in her eyes. "I couldn't understand your rejection at all. Now I do... you're trying to protect me and I think that's noble and all, but I don't need protecting, Peter. I need you. I love you." She turned to him, facing him. "I didn't understand why you were protecting me... then it all fit together. The attack the Goblin made on Aunt May, then me, your phone call. He found out who you were, didn't he?"  
  
Spidey looked away, ashamed, unable to say a word in response.  
  
"The Goblin said something to you about being in love with me on the bridge. How would he know that? Unless he knew you..." She sniffled. "Peter, all the pieces fit together. I know you didn't want me to find out. Maybe you even wanted to tell me yourself one day, but I couldn't chance not spending my life with you all on account of you rejecting me because you're Spider-Man.  
  
Even tonight Pete... You told me Spider-Man was hurt today, then you rush outta here... and Pete, I saw you bleeding..." She started to cry harder. "I followed you up to the roof... I saw your camera bag and your clothes... I heard the gunshots..." she stopped, squeezing her eyes shut tight. "I followed the sirens. Then, I saw you saving that woman. And now, after all that, you're gonna tell me that you're not Peter Parker, especially crawling into his bedroom, with his bag of clothes?" She reached out and touched his side. "Bleeding from the same spot." She looked up to his mask eyes. "I'm not dumb Peter, please don't treat me like I am." She reached up, cupped his masked cheek. "Don't shut me out, Tiger..."  
  
Peter's eyes were wet with tears.   
  
He knew that.   
  
His lip was quivering.   
  
He felt that.   
  
His heart was aching for her.   
  
He heard that.  
  
"Mary Jane," he whispered, his voice hoarse. Then was no explaining away everything that she had figured out. There was no way to hide all that he'd let slip past him for her to discover.   
  
"Peter, I knew it was you last night. Why else would I allow you to get so close? Do you really think I'd let my silly crush on Spider-Man come to mean more to me than you do?" She smiled. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're one in the same, but Pete, it's you I love, who I've always loved. It's you that makes me feel safe, protected, cared for. It's you who makes me feel like the person I wanna be. Just like you told me." She caressed his cheek with her thumb. "I had to be sure, so I wanted to kiss you once more, because I knew if I did...I'd know it was you."  
  
He was breaking apart inside his costume, a million slivers of cracked glass with the power of her revelation. Should he let her? Should he bring her into this world? With her so close…he didn't know…he didn't know.   
  
She looked deep into those opaque slots, could feel his apprehension. "Trust me, like I trust you, Pete. You don't have to hide from me anymore."  
  
Peter's hand shook as he reached up, gripping his mask. It seemed like an automatic movement, like his arm was working independently of his brain. He hesitated, then found the seam between his neck and his throat. Slowly, he lifted his mask, part of his conscious mind screaming at him to stop, and the other part forcing him on. He pulled it away slowly, tossing his hair from his eyes, meeting MJ's gaze  
  
She gasped, putting her hand to her mouth, still shocked at seeing Peter under there. Then she reached out to brush his cheek. "There you are," she whispered, stepping in closer.  
  
Peter felt as if he was standing naked before her without his mask on, like the safety of his costume had been stripped away and all that stood there now bare to the world. To Mary Jane. He breathed deeply, scared out of his mind.  
  
But MJ only smiled and cupped his face in her hands. "There's my hero," she whispered a breath apart from upon his lips. Then she pressed her mouth on his and her heart exploded in a swirl of happiness, of relief, of hope…it was all there, Peter was here.   
  
Peter moaned in defeat and wrapped his arms around her like reflex, letting his mask fall to the floor, forgotten. He met her lips gently with his, his tongue found hers as they lavished each other with affection. He pulled her close, crushing her against him, his body crying out to touch her, to not leave any part of him unexplored by her, un-graced by her presence. He never wanted to stop kissing her, loving her.  
  
MJ moaned as he squeezed her tightly, stayed with him until the need for oxygen demanded she pull back a little, to breath. "Peter, I love you."  
  
"MJ," he whispered, forehead resting against hers. "MJ..."  
  
She didn't wait for his reply, pulling his face to hers and kissing him again. She turned them around, pushed him towards the bed.   
  
He lifted her into his arms and they fell onto the bed together, a tangle of limbs and flush embrace and easy wonder. He looked down at the gorgeous redhead in his arms and he felt more happiness than he'd ever let himself feel before. He stroked her hair, smiling so fully his face hurt with the effort.  
  
She sighed happily, stroking his baby face. "I love to see that smile." She traced her hands over the webbed pattern of his arms and his chest, absentmindedly wrapping a leg around his waist. She paused when he hissed in pain, turning over on his back. "Oh Peter, your wound...I forgot..." She leaned over him, a hand on his chest. "Will you be okay?"  
  
He nodded, the pain gone already. "I heal quickly."  
  
"Tell me everything... everything you couldn't tell me at the funeral... How'd it happen? How long have you had these powers?" MJ inquired wanting to know everything. "Who was the Green Goblin? How did you keep it a secret this long? What made you want to save peoples lives?"  
  
The barrage of questions pelted Peter back in time, back to that sidewalk, to that gunshot wound and that robber, and he was suddenly reminded of his Uncle Ben, of all the pain of losing him. He looked over at Mary Jane and knew then, that letting her go was the only way not to lose her. If that made any sense. He'd rather spend his entire life alone and unloved than to spend one moment in world without her in it. He was once again reminded, once again called back to those words that had both haunted and guided him. *With great power comes great responsibility* Suddenly, he sat up frowning. "I can't..." he murmured, voice laced with regret, with fortitude.  
  
MJ sat up behind him, a hand on his scarlet-red shoulder. "But..."  
  
"MJ, no..." he stood up, turning his back on her. "You already know too much..."  
  
"Pete..."  
  
"MJ, I want you to leave." He said it quickly, before he lost his nerve before he could look at her, into those eyes, and forget everything.  
  
"What?" Hurt colored her tone. "I don't understand!"  
  
"I want you to go." Peter willed the tears away. "I want you to leave me alone and don't try to see me again."  
  
"But, Peter..." MJ's lips quivered, and she could hear her heart breaking in her chest. She stood up, reaching out for him.  
  
He whipped around and gripped her wrist before she could touch him. "I said go."  
  
"You don't have to push me away anymore, Peter... I love you and..."  
  
"I don't love you!!! That's why I rejected you!!" he shouted, tossing her hand away. "I never loved you! When will you let it go?! Being Spider-Man is only another reason I can't love you! You got what you wanted; you backed me into a corner. You know I'm Spider-Man, now leave me alone!" he tried putting as much feeling into it as he could, tried to make the worst of lies seem like the painful truth. It must have been more than enough, because he got to see Mary Jane Watson shatter right before his eyes.   
  
MJ recoiled, had felt as if he'd physically struck her, hit her so hard that it shook the very insides of her soul, rattled her bones with the sting of his words. She's have rather fallen a million times off of that bridge if it would mean never having to hear him talk like this to her. Peter would never love her, and now she'd just forced him into breaking off their friendship as well. She was right the first time. No one would ever love her enough to want to be with her. "But you kissed me!" She was grasping at straws now, desperate to make it not true, to keep the one thing that had seemed solid slip through her fingers like grains of sand.  
  
"Can I help it if a woman throws herself at me? What am I supposed to do? I mean, I'm a guy, I have needs, right?" Peter snarled. *Oh God MJ, please don't shatter, please don't fall apart on me.* He had to push her away. It was the only way she'd be safe. From him.   
  
She sobbed into her hand, eyes shut away from the sight of him, but not from the pain. After a second, she nodded, finally. "I guess I was wrong. I don't know you Peter...not anymore...I..." She looked away. "I won't bother you anymore and I won't tell anyone what I know." She couldn't move, couldn't believe this was happening. This wasn't how she'd envisioned this. She'd seen kisses and love and laughter, she'd seen forever, her dreams elevated on the cloud of their love. Instead… she turned back at the bed they'd just been in, that they'd just been kissing upon and then back at him. "You don't mean this... You can't..."  
  
He stood his ground, but said nothing, face grim, countenance stoically passive. *MJ...I have to be cruel, I don't want to, but I have no choice. I have to keep you from being destroyed. Damn it!! Why'd you have to find out!!* He could feel his resolve beginning to fade. He felt himself shaking all over, like his insides were shards of broken glass. He couldn't breath, was choking on the tears he was holding back, was suffocating in the foulness of his own lies. He couldn't say much more to hurt her or he might just beat the crap out of himself.  
  
"Okay, Peter Parker... I'll leave you alone..." she sniffed, voice flat. She headed for the bedroom door, stopped, turned when felt another wave of confidence in his feelings for her. Like she'd felt the unspoken vibe of his true desires, that she knew he didn't want her to believe a word he had said. "I'll never stop loving you, Peter. No matter how you treat me or how much you push me away. I'll always be there for you, I'll always be your friend," she said, unable to look at him directly. She leaned on the door frame, wanted to both laugh and cry at the irony of her repeating his own words to her. "You can chase me out of your heart, but you can't chase me out of your life..."  
  
Peter snatched his mask back up and pulled it over his head. He looked at her through those white slots, through his protective covering, and without a word, jumped out the window.  
  
Once he was gone, MJ let loose the river, sobbed freely, her resolve sinking like her body, to the floor. She'd just lost Peter and Spider-Man at the same time. She just lost everything. She might as well be dead.  
  
Peter didn't go far. He stayed on the outside of his balcony, where she wouldn't see him. There, he let himself cry, cry hard, the broken sounds muffled only by her own grief and the safety of his mask. He'd never forgive himself for hurting her so deeply, but he'd never be able to live with himself if she died because of him. So instead he let the tears fall, let them loose on the thankless city below and hoped that he'd made the right choice.  
  
But far worse than his own tears were hers. Peter couldn't stand to hear her sobs, couldn't bear the thought of how much he'd hurt her. He wanted to let her know they could still be friends; he'd promised her that much, once. Resolved to let her know, he inhaled deeply, tried to steady the quiver of his voice. Then, he jumped up and back into his room. "Mary Jane, I'm sorry!!!"  
  
He didn't need his spider sense to tell him she had left already. Sinking to the floor, he peeled his mask off, tossed it aside.  
  
Spider-Man was no hero that night.  
  
**************  
  
MJ pushed her key into the lock and entered her apartment. Her lips still stung with the feel of his kisses. Closing the door behind her, she ambled listlessly towards her bedroom. She could still feel him, his heart pounding against his chest, his kisses on her lips, his arms pressing her against him. With a pathetic sniffle, she flipped on her small lamp, filling the room with in a soft, 30-watt glow. She could still picture his dimpled smile; he'd looked so happy, so at peace when he'd let her see him, all of him. She sighed, sinking to her bed, crew curious when something crumbled underneath her.  
  
She sat up, picked up the piece of paper she'd been sitting on. When she read it, she was reduced to tears once more.  
  
_Courtesy, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man  
_  
She held the paper against her heart and fell back onto her pillows. "Oh, Peter... how am I ever going to live without you?"  
  



	6. Spirit of the Season

**Sooooo soooooo sorry for the long delay in updating everyone. I appreciate your patience and I know how frustrating it can be waiting for an update and I do apologize to all my readers and reviewers for the delay. I've been you guys everyday waiting for stories to update so I know how it feels. My editor/beta reader went back to school so its harder for her to have time to do her magic and without it this fic would be an absolute mess and trust me, you wouldn't wanna read it anymore LOL so please be patient with me and her. I do hope you continue to enjoy the fic!! We'll try and make it worth your wait! Please R/R! Thanks! :) **  
  
  
Chapter 6: Spirit of the Season   
  
_Don't you know that I will stand up for you   
No matter what you are going through   
I'm still on your side   
Any time day or night   
Don't care if it's wrong or right   
I'm still on your side   
  
You want to run you want to break free   
What you want ain't what you need   
Can't you see that I care   
I know I'm hard on you sometimes   
But when you are looking for the things you can't find   
Don't you know who'll be there   
  
Who will, I will   
When it's more than you can handle   
Ain't no lie   
  
Don't you know that I will stand up for you   
No matter what you are going through   
I'm still on your side   
Any time day or night   
Don't care if it's wrong or right   
I'm still on your side   
  
I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there   
I'll be there when you need me   
I won't let you go   
There's nothing I won't do I'll be there   
  
Don't you know that I will stand up for you   
No matter what you are going through   
I'm still on your side   
Any time day or night   
Don't care if it's wrong or right   
I'm still on your side   
  
I will be around when the others let you down   
I'm still on your side   
Anytime you need help and you can't find nobody else   
I'm still on your side _   
  
  
The morning sunlight glared into Peter's eyes and he squinted blearily, glad for the respite as he entered the shelter of the Bugle building. His eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot, he hadn't slept more than an hour last night. Every time he'd fallen asleep, nightmares of MJ screaming for him had plagued his subconscious, made him wake up sweating and crying her name, reaching out in front of him into empty air. He hadn't been able to find her in the darkness that engulfed his dreams. He could hear her, begging for him, both as Peter and as Spider-Man, and he searched, calling after her, frantic and strained while he tried to navigate the blackness as her sobs echoed around him. Then…then, he'd heard her cry out one last time horribly, her voice silenced when Peter finally found her, dead, glassy eyes staring up at him in accusation. It was the same every time. He was never able to save her. Finding himself awake in bed at four in the morning, he'd thought about going to her. Then, he remembered how he had treated her and the horrible things he'd said.  
  
He frowned sorrowfully at the thought, as he stood there, waiting for the elevator. Maybe he could go to her later, apologize for being so harsh, tell her they'd still be friends. If she could ever forgive him...  
  
The elevator opened and Peter stepped in, pushed the button to the top floor, mind still whirling with everything he'd done wrong.   
  
"Hold that elevator, please!" a woman's voice shouted.   
  
Peter tilted his head even as his hand automatically went to hold the door. He knew that voice.  
  
He watched as a blur of blonde charged at the doors, stopping only when safely inside. "Thanks," she breathed.   
  
"It's you," Peter said aloud before he could stop himself.   
  
"Excuse me?" she chuckled, in the same sweet laugh he'd heard last night.  
  
"Uh, the new freelancer, right?" Peter covered clumsily, mentally berating himself for his carelessness. It was the woman he'd saved from thug by the alley.   
  
"Gee, shows that much huh?" She brushed back her hair, revealing those piercing eyes.  
  
"Takes a freelancer to know one," Peter replied with as casual a shrug as he could muster.  
  
"Oh?" She noticed his camera in his hands. "Photography huh? 'm a reporter."  
  
"Peter Parker." Pete nodded politely.  
  
"Amber Dieson," she responded without hesitation, smiling sweetly. "How long have you been freelancing for the Bugle?"  
  
"Couple months now," Peter answered.   
  
"You always this worn out?" She frowned, studying his face. "And you're only a freelancer?"  
  
"Rough night," Peter explained, shaking his head as his thoughts drifted once more to MJ.  
  
"Here that. I was attacked last night, Spider-Man saved me…" she paused thoughtfully. "Parker, Parker, I've heard that name before." She studied him a moment, before a lightbulb went on in her head and she said, "Say… you're the guy who takes all his pics, aren't ya?"  
  
"Yeah, that's me," he replied glumly at the reminder, not even noticing that someone knew his work by name.  
  
"Hey, cheer up...." Amber told him, patting him on the shoulder. "You're so sad, you're gonna make me feel sad too."  
  
"Sorry," Peter shrugged. She dropped her hand.   
  
The elevator doors opened.  
  
"Well that's my floor. It was a pleasure meeting you, Parker." She reached out to shake his hand, and he readily accepted.  
  
He was slightly startled by how cool and soft her touch was. "Yeah."  
  
"Maybe we can get together for lunch one day," she suggested. "Swap notes about how the freelancers don't get any respect."   
"Sure," he replied flatly. "See you 'round..."  
  
Peter got off on his floor, went to his locker and retrieved his film. He headed for the dark room and went about his day just like any other, except for a nagging pain in his chest, most inconveniently located in his heart.  
  
*********  
  
Mary Jane woke screaming. "Peter no!!!!!!!!!!" she cried, shooting straight up in bed, like one of those big screen movie mavens. She gasped for air, looking around the room. She was home, she was safe.  
  
Sighing, she brushed back an errant string of red hair. "Oh Peter," she murmured, frowning. "Where are you when I need you?"  
  
Another night of fitful tossing and turning, too afraid of her dreams to sleep and too sad to try to stay awake, had found her laying on her bed at 4 in the morning, wishing he'd come to her. As Spider-Man or as Peter. So long as he was at her door, or her window, there for her. She'd lain there, hoping, hoping to hear a rapping at her window pain, the doorbell, anything. But for naught. She needed him and for once he had not come. That had been scarier than any of her dreams.  
  
Tossing the covers aside, she stood up, ready to greet another miserable day. Snowflakes tumbled from the sky; she watched them fall from heaven from her balcony doors. They silently reminded her that Christmas was not more than a week away. And not a soul to get a present for. "Well, except Gina, Aunt May and Aunt Anna," MJ told the snowflakes. "Least this year I can afford them in the first place." She sighed heavily and headed towards the bathroom to change. Maybe she could still get Peter something. Maybe she could make it up to him?   
  
MJ turned on her shower, let it run while she waited for the water to warm, eyes staring listlessly ahead. "Yeah, and maybe I can fake amnesia and pretend last night never happened, too. Dream on, MJ." Shaking her head, she stripped off her night clothes and stepped into the shower, letting the warmth engulf her.  
  
Closing her eyes, she let the feeling of the steaming water trickle down her spine overwhelm her. She thought of last night, of how wonderful it felt to kiss Peter. All she wanted was to do it again and again.  
  
A small rap on the bathroom door. "Hey MJ!" Gina's voice called from the hallway.  
  
"Hi Gina," MJ replied, shampooing her hair.  
  
"Wanna go to Rockefeller Center with me tonight? Thought we could see the tree, do some shopping, maybe ice skate?" Gina suggested. "You know since neither of us ever have dates."  
  
MJ frowned. She had meant to ask Peter if he wanted to do those things last night with her, before everything else had happened. He didn't even want to see her again, let alone shop with her. "Sure... sounds like fun."  
  
**********  
  
Later that day, once the sun had fallen, MJ and Gina headed out for the tree and their Christmas shopping.   
  
"Let's skate first," Gina suggested. "Before we have any bags to lug around."  
  
And so they had.  
  
MJ felt like a robot moving along the ice, not even enjoying the sight of the gigantic tree or the sound of Christmas carols in the air, those things that usually brought her so much joy.  
  
Gina frowned after a while, reaching into her pocket when she felt the vibration of her beeper. "Oh boy... that's the hospital."  
  
MJ nodded. "Go on..."  
  
"Sorry MJ...duty calls," Gina skated off.  
  
"Don't I know it," MJ soon followed after, not even interested in shopping anymore.  
  
But with nothing else to do, and not wanting to go back to the loneliness of the apartment, she forced herself into a few nearby stores, until she found something for Aunt Anna, Aunt May and Gina.  
  
MJ almost allowed some Christmas spirit to cheer her as she passed some carolers on snowy streets. As she passed a photo shop, she stopped to stare into the window, gasping at the plethora of the gadgets advertised in the front display. "Peter would love something like this," she told herself, remembering the omnipresent camera in his hands. Then she caught her own reflection in the window. "Except Peter never wants to see your face again."  
  
She turned from the store and decided she had to stop torturing herself. Peter had rejected her twice now and he'd hurt her. She had to stop thinking about him and treat him like any other man who'd hurt her. Forget them. Her dad, Flash, Harry and now Peter. Some stubborn part of herself refused to let Peter fit in their category. He was better than that. He was supposed to really love her.  
  
She crossed the street and stopped to get a cup of hot chocolate from a cart vendor. Finding a seat on a bench lining the sidewalk, she sat down and looked at the trees, lit up in festive white lights that made the snow sparkle from their glow. The city was alive with shoppers rushing down the streets to get their shopping lists filled, their presents wrapped, their Christmas cards sent. Some took an easier pace, just walking and enjoying the beauty of the city during the holidays. There were lots of couples holding hand, sharing secret whispers in each other's ears, snuggling close to keep out the December chill.  
  
MJ sipped her hot chocolate, pulling her purple scarf closer to cover her exposed neck. She shivered from the cold. Part of her wondered if it would just be better if she sat there all night and didn't move, if she'd freeze in the night. Would anyone even notice she was gone? Realizing she was being more melodramatic than usual, she mentally berated herself, desperately trying to talk herself out of the funk she was in. She reminded herself that she was strong, and independent, and above all, that she would let no man drag her down anymore. It worked for a little while.   
  
Her shoulders slumped after a minute, a sign of complete defeat. No man would bring her down except for one, the one who had always been there to remind her that not all men were out to hurt her, that some of them actually had hearts.   
  
A couple walked past her along the sidewalk, one's face buried in today's edition of the Bugle.  
  
"Can you believe Spider-Man saved a whole crowd of people yesterday, and then another woman last night?! He's all over the place these days. I don't know why some people think he's a bad guy...spider...whatever... Seems like he just wants to help if you ask me... he must have to sacrifice his whole lifestyle to help people out, what with all the trouble people can get into in a city like New York. I really wish the Bugle would give him more credit...." the woman ranted to her spouse, tossing the paper into the corner garbage pail in a flurry of disgust. "I mean... its Christmas time for heaven's sake."  
  
Her voice faded as they crossed the streets.  
  
MJ frowned, turning her empty cup in her hand. Just the mention of Spider-Man made her body go cold all over. She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes, resolved not to cry right here on the street. But it was because of Spider-Man that Peter had rejected her. And she couldn't help wishing Spider-Man had never come to exist.   
  
But, it was wrong to wish such a horrible thought. And terribly selfish. Peter couldn't help it, she assumed. She wondered if she'd be so courageous with such awesome powers. Would she'd be willing to give up everything a normal life offered just to help out a city full of ungrateful, untrusting people? But he had done so much for the city. It would be selfish to wish he hadn't come about. All those people he'd saved wouldn't have been saved, if he hadn't been there. Heck, she'd more likely than not be dead herself, had he not come to be. Still, she wished she didn't have to share him with the millions of New Yorkers, wished he didn't have to run off at all hours of the day and night, leaving his own life behind to give them back theirs. But then, he wasn't hers to share anyway.  
  
Her altruism melted at the thought. Peter didn't belong to them. No, Peter was hers as far as she was concerned. She loved him, despite his rejection of her feelings. New York could have Spider-Man if they so desired, but when Peter Parker was involved, MJ was determined to make him see they needed each other.  
  
With some new resolve, she stood up, tossed her cup in the garbage, and set off into the now heavily falling snow, back towards the camera store. Maybe she could still get him something, just incase.  
  
The snow pelted her face as she shivered, quickening her pace. A storm had to be on the rise. It had been sprinkling all day, but it seemed that in the last few minutes, everything had gotten colder, darker, harsher. She wondered how the weather could take such a turn for the worse, when just a little while ago it had been quite pleasant. She tightened her hold on her bags and buried her face into her scarf. The songs of the carolers were dying out as people headed for shelter and stores' bright Christmas lights began to dim, signaling the end of the business day.  
  
*************  
  
Peter poured a piping hot cup of coffee, watching the snow fall from the skyline windows of the Bugle. He set down the pot and stared outside at the small flakes, almost transfixed by each one. Snow tended to remind him of the holiday seasons coming and that would usually put some cheer in his heart and a smile on his lips. But the thought of his first Christmas without Uncle Ben and all the hurt he caused Mary Jane made his heart feel as cold as each of the snowflakes were. He'd been fighting a bout of melancholy all day and it was only getting worse as the day passed on. Even something as cheerful as snow had once been to him turned cold and harsh.  
  
"Now get outta here and don't you come back with another one of these 'he's a hero' story again!!" Jameson's booming voice filled the room.  
  
In any other work place, a voice so loud and filled with such anger would be enough to make everyone stop what they were doing, but not at the Bugle. It was as if everyone had grown so used to Jameson's hollering that they tuned him out. Or they all had ear plugs.   
  
A door slammed shut and feet stomped across the news room to the worker's lounge area. Which was really a folding table and folding chairs with only with a coffee pot, mini fridge and small microwave as supplies. Any goodies, such as the box of donuts with colorful sprinkles and frosting, the bagels or cookies laid out on the table were brought in from the staff.  
  
Peter, who was lost in thought was oblivious to the grumblings and banging of styrofoam cups coming from the woman beside him. He was only brought out from his trance when he felt something poking his arm. He turned, wondering who would interrupt his staring contest with the snowflakes.  
  
He was greeted with the sight of a flustered but still well kept looking Amber. "Hey..."  
  
"You ok there Parker? You look like you lost your best friend..." Amber remarked frowning.  
  
"Yeah, 'm fine..."   
  
He looked down at the table, which was now filled with destroyed styrofoam cups. "You one of those mother nature activists or did the cups do something to insult you?"  
  
She laughed, looking glum when her laughter died. "Jameson hated my story..."  
  
Peter frowned, sympathizing. "I'm sorry..."  
  
"Oh, he's still gonna use it... Spider-Man was right tho... He's gonna re-word the parts I called him a hero for. Blame him putting my life at risk." she crunched another cup in frustration. "It's not fair..."  
  
Peter shrugged. He wouldn't expect anything less from JJ. "Jonah's very stubborn."  
  
"I promised Spider-Man I'd defend him. Now he'll think I sold him out for a story...." Amber shook her head.   
  
"Aww... 'm sure he'll understand. He's a pretty understanding guy..." Peter comforted.  
  
"That's right! You see him a lot Parker. Can you tell him for me? Tell him I'm sorry..." she asked.  
  
"Only if you promise to call me Peter. Whenever you say Parker I have bad flashes of what Jameson would be like as a woman...Parker!!! I want better pictures!!" Peter mocked Jameson in a girly voice.  
  
Amber laughed so hard it made Betty Brant and a few others look up at them with curiously.  
  
Peter realized again that her laughter seemed musical. It made him smile, and hoped he cheered her up. "Don't worry, when you're a star reporter like Ben is, Jameson won't be able to change your words..."  
  
"You think I could be that good one day?" Amber tilted her head to the side, much like a dog who needed affection would.  
  
"Sure!" Peter answered. So what if he hadn't even read any of her work. It was the nice thing to say. He'd be disowned by Aunt May if he didn't say the respectful thing.  
  
"Thanks Peter..." she put a hand on his shoulder. "That's real nice of you...."  
  
"No problem," he shrugged.  
  
"Maybe..." she paused, her fingers beginning to massage his shoulder. "when we have that lunch one day I can bring a few stories for you to read..." she offered.  
  
Her voice was lost on Peter because he felt a tingle at the back of his neck. Spider sense.  
  
He looked around but saw no immediate danger.   
  
Weird.  
  
"Huh?" he said to Amber. He scanned the room more carefully, distracted by trying to find the source of danger.  
  
Amber removed her hand from his shoulder to grab a cookie. "Lunch, 'll bring some stories for you to read."  
  
"Oh... sure..." he replied, eyes still darting around the room. His spider sense died down and the tingling was gone.  
  
*Huh*... he thought.  
  
"Well, I better go see if I can find a new story to work on, see ya later Peter..." she finished her cookie and was gone.  
  
Sirens rang from the streets outside.  
  
Peter looked down below and saw a cop car fly down the streets past the Bugle building.  
  
A newspaper intern rushed into the news room and held a white sheet of paper in his hand over his head. "Store robbery on 22nd and Park Ave!"  
  
Peter's spider sense went off again and he dashed across the room along with a few reporters wanting to get to the scene to cover the story. All Peter wanted was to help.  
  
He ran up the stairs when all the reporters had disappeared down the stairwell. There were only 2 flights of stairs to the roof. Once he pushed open the roof door, he began tearing off his blue button down shirt and beige khakis as he ran for the ledge. He managed to toss his shoes off just as he got to the edge of the roof. He pulled on his mask and was off into the snowy night.   
Freefalling about twenty stories down, the frigid air nipped at him and he squinted his eyes instinctively, even though his mask protected him from the brunt of the bitter wind and falling snow. He let out a webline and soared across the sky towards 22nd street. As he webslinged along he noticed the wind had picked up and the snow was getting faster and thicker. He shivered from the cold wind rushing to meet him with each giant swing he made.  
  
Twenty-second street couldn't have come fast enough for him. He was almost grateful to hear the police sirens blocks from the scene and the sounds of gunshots below him. He jumped down from a store awning and and peered inside the window of a gift shop.   
  
The first thing he noticed was the twinkling Christmas lights wrapped around the store window. Then the warmth seeping from inside through the shattered glass hit the face of his mask. He felt a tremor run through him, but this time not from the cold. It came from the scene in front of him. A young boy was being held at gunpoint by a robber. The mother of the boy was crying desperately for his release.  
  
The cashier was filling a burlap bag with register money and some silver and gold items from behind the cashwrap. His eyes kept darting to the armed man and the helpless little boy.  
  
Peter cursed the situation and wondered how he could get the boy away safely. The barrel of the gun was pressed right against his head, one wrong shot with his webbing and the boy was dead.  
  
Believe it or not, the kid appeared to be the most calm of them all. His eyes darted around but he made no gasps or cries.  
  
Spider-Man ducked when the boys eyesight crossed his path, but the boy's eyes lit up and he knew he'd been spotted. *Don't do anything crazy kid....*  
  
And as he said it, the boy stomped his foot over his assailant and slipped from his grasp.  
  
Spidey jumped into action, leaping through the broken glass into the store. He went head first and bowled himself into the robber.  
  
"Yeah Spider-Man!!!" the boy pumped his fist, laying on the floor with a huge grin.  
  
The boy's mother ran to him and encirlced him in her arms.  
  
Spidey leapt to his feet, putting his body between the robber and the family. "What'd the kid do to you? Steal your supply of lollipops?! It's not nice to be a big bully you know... There's always someone bigger than you in the playground and someone always gets hurt. Today must be your lucky day..." he threatened the man by pounding his fist into his open palm.   
  
The robber's eyes lit up in fear. He pulled a switchblade from his back pocket. He lunged at Spider-Man hoping to slash him.  
  
Spidey jumped backwards, avoiding the slashing motion the robber made with his weapon. He knocked the weapon from his hand with a quick swat and threw a kick into the guys chest.  
  
The robber flew across the store, hitting the wall with a sickening thud.  
  
Spidey let his guard down momentarily to check on the kid. He turned to the mother and son and examined them. "You ok kid?"  
  
"Wow Spider-Man... You're awesome!!" the kid looked up at him in astonishment.  
  
"Thanks... maybe its not too late to have my own cartoon afterall..." Spidey joked. "Whaddya think? Would ya watch?"  
  
"He's getting away!!!" the cashier cried.  
  
Spidey whipped around in time to see the robber was on his feet and he was making a mad dash for the outside.  
  
Peter was off a beat slow, surprised by the robber's actions. He cursed to himself as the robber managed to jump into an awaiting getaway car. Tires squealed on the slick pavement and they were off into the blizzard of wind and snow.  
  
Spidey ran out the door. He groaned in protest while being assaulted by the cold and heavy snow once again. "Awww shucks..." he grumbled watching the car speed away. "Wait for me guys! Getting a taxi in this weather is ludicrous!" he ran off down the sidewalk, jumping into the bitter cold air and shooting a webline to the closest building. He swung as fast as he could hoping to catch the car before they crashed and got themselves or someone else killed.  
  
*********  
  
Thankfully MJ made it into the camera shop before the storm really kicked in. She found some of the gadgets she saw in the window and after some rushed help from the store owner, who wanted to close up for the night, she picked out a few that worked together and hoped Peter would like them.   
  
She was back out into the blistering cold before she knew it. The lights around her were dim, and everything was a blur of blackness against the pristine snow. It reminded her of the electronic snow you saw on a TV screen at 3 in the morning when the channels stopped broadcasting for the night. She squinted, trying to see the street ahead of her as wind rushed past her ears, screeching and stinging. She shivered uncontrollably through her thickest winter coat. "Just what I need, a sudden blizzard," she muttered to herself, unhappily.  
  
The city had literally gone to sleep in the time it had taken her to get Peter's present. Cars were no longer rushing about, zooming in and out of traffic; people were no longer scurrying down the streets dodging the snow and each other. Even the street lights seemed to be on hiatus. It was nearly black as pitch, except for the telltale inches of snow growing into feet rapidly around her.   
  
MJ's heartbeat quickened. All these signs couldn't be good. How had she completely missed out on a news bulletin about a storm this bad? Or perhaps it came with such sudden ferocity there was no time to give anyone much warning. In any case, there were no cabs in sight, (though truthfully she couldn't be sure, as it was hard to see her own hands in front of her, let alone into the streets) and she was at least 20 minutes from home on foot. With the way this storm was blowing in, she'd be buried alive in the ice if she didn't get a move on it. Huddling her bags closer around her, she clenched her numb fingers and picked up her pace a bit. She squinted against the flurries of snow falling on her face and made out a faint light in front of her. It looked like one of the trees she'd been sitting in front of on the bench, decorated in bright white lights. She struggled to see what if that was what was in front of her, but it was impossible to be certain.   
  
Concentrating so hard on the beacon before her, she failed to pay attention to her footing, and lost her balance as the sidewalk ended to meet the street. She yelped; pin wheeled to try and regain her balance, stumbling clumsily to the street. She hit the ground hard, and groaned with pain. Her vision swam momentarily and she was assaulted by shooting pains firing up her knees and palms. Through the thick snow, she looked down at her gloved hands, the soft material now torn and stained red with blood from her scrapes. She didn't know what to grieve over more; her ruined gloves or the painful scratches. She sighed and tried to pick herself up, despite being buried in a mountain of snow and shopping bags. Tears stung her eyes with the effort. Her knees were cold and wet with snow and blood. She was sure they'd taken the brunt of the fall, which could only mean they would be worse off than her hands.   
  
Looking up, she noticed the lights growing closer, so she must've tumbled into the middle of the intersection. She only hoped her presents hadn't wound up as broken as she was. Finally managing to get to her feet under her, she attempted to stand and again noticed the lights growing closer. MJ's mind sprung into alert, realizing those were no Christmas lights. "Oh God..." she gasped, eyes widening. A car was plowing down the slick street, sliding uncontrollably along the fresh snow and right at her. There was no way the driver would notice her in time, not with the snow marring his view and negating his traction. She attempted to run, but her battered knees wouldn't comply, nor would the slickness of the street. She slipped again, landing ungracefully on her thigh and elbow. She could only lie there, staring at the approaching headlights, counting the seconds until impact. She closed her eyes shut tightly and prayed it would be quick, that it would be painless.  
  
The first thing she felt was the rush of the wind as the car hurtled towards her, the heat from the engine warming her, telling her that next she would feel the crushing impact of metal and tires against her.   
  
But there was no impact, no pain, just warmth and wind.  
  
She dared to peel open her eyes and she screamed.   
  
She screamed not for fear of the death that had come to greet her however, but for wonder and deliverance from certain doom. She found herself flying in the air above the city, blinded by the snowflakes, cheeks stung pink by the whipping wind. She knew that the red and blue-clad figure clutching her frame tightly against his was no car here to run her down, but her savior, her hero, for the umpteenth time.  
  
They swung surely and speedily across town in the billowing snow storm, as if the sky were clear, as if he knew precisely where he was, what they were doing. MJ had no idea how he could see anything at all, but trusted him implicitly, clinging to him, knowing he would get them out of this. She heard the familiar THWIP sound of his webbing shooting from his wrists and attaching to the buildings, each one swinging them from one concrete pillar to the next, ever closer to home. She felt him twist her to his side as his feet made impact with the corner of the building and he pushed off, gaining momentum towards their next destination. MJ tightened her hold on him, felt as he twitched almost imperceptibly with pain. She loosened her death grip on his side, remembering his injury too late. He lost his concentration and they came crashing into the next building, with his other shoulder and foot taking the most damage, making sure she avoided any contact with the wall of the building.   
  
Peter gripped onto the building with his free hand and managed to get his feet planted firmly while she dangled from his grasp. "Hang on!" he growled, infuriated with his screw up. He righted her in his arm again, making sure she was secure before slinging off towards the nearest building he could see.   
  
The snow was making everything very difficult to handle, and he knew taking her all the way to her apartment would be too far a journey for the both of them in this wretched weather. Making a decision, he made a sharp left and swung low. Thankfully, his apartment was much closer than hers. He hoped. The snow made his internal sense of direction rather off center, and he peered down into the streets, searching for any sign that his apartment was near. The scent of hot pizza suddenly reached his nostrils, and he smiled. Dante's Pizza Shop was right next to his apartment complex; he knew that smell anywhere. *When all else fails... trust your nose,* he told himself.   
  
Finally, his feet touched down on his small balcony and he set her on her own feet before any more harm could possibly come to her. "Come inside!" He yelled over the screaming winds, yanking the door open.  
  
They hustled inside, Peter slamming the door shut behind him. He shivered, hopped up and down, and rubbed his arms, trying to get warm again. He turned his attention to her. "Mary Jane, are you okay?"  
  
She nodded numbly, shivering uncontrollably, part from shock, part from fear, and mostly from the cold.  
  
"You're soaking wet..." Peter observed, eyes narrowing with concern. He reached out to help her take her coat off, but pulled back at the last minute, afraid to touch her.   
  
For the first time since the car, she noticed that her packages were still wrapped around her arms, and she let them tumble gracelessly to the floor, no longer caring if they all blew up, let alone broke. Noticing his hesitance to touch her, she couldn't help but be glad he hadn't had such qualms before swooping in to rescue her. "H-how..." her lips trembled and she wrapped her arms around her middle coat. "H-h-h-h-ow d-do you al-always know?" she asked, shaking.  
  
Peter's resolve broke and he didn't care if she slapped him silly later on, but he needed to get her out of those cold clothes. "It was luck this time, MJ," he admitted, knowing if he hadn't have been chasing that car from a store robbery, she would have been dead. He gripped the ties of her coat, gingerly undoing the knot. He looked at her through the slots in his mask, and saw how chilled she was, her lips turning blue, her slight frame chattering. "That car that almost hit you was a get away vehicle in a store robbery. I'd been chasing them for a few blocks, and it just so happened that when we turned the corner, my spider sense went nuts." Peter stopped, forcing the thoughts of how destroyed he would have been if he'd been too late, if he hadn't saw her flash of red hair in the street ahead of them. "I…I um, I saw someone standing and falling in the street," he continued, easing her arms out of the coat as she watched him, transfixed. The jacket fell to the floor, pooling around her ankles. "I'm just glad I saw you in time."  
  
She nodded her agreement, her arms immediately going back to hug herself for warmth. "T-thanks..."  
  
"Let me find you some warm clothes. Sorry I couldn't take you home..." Peter turned away, walking towards the closet in search of some sweats. "I couldn't see anything in front of me anymore and I didn't want to risk it."  
  
"P-p-p-eter," she whispered, teeth chattering.  
  
He turned to her.  
  
"Take the mask off please..." she asked. "I…I... can't..."  
  
He obliged carefully, eyes meeting hers as he dropped the mask on his desk. "I know this is the last place you wanna be right now MJ. But, the storm's so bad and you'll catch your death if you go now." He found a pair of sweat pants and a fleece pullover. "Here... change into these. It'll warm you up."  
  
She held out her hand to receive the clothing and he gasped.  
  
"MJ, you're bleeding!" He dropped the clothes and gripped her hand gently in both of his, investigating the scrapes.  
  
Her hand shook in his and he met her eyes, wondering if it was all cold, or partly from his touch. "T-they're just scrapes..." She felt her body warm instantly from within at his touch. "A price to pay to save my presents..." Her eyes found the bags tossed onto the floor.  
  
Peter followed her line of sight and frowned. Always thinking of others.... He turned back to her and found that he had been stroking her wrist absentmindedly. He stopped. "Can I help you clean these up?"  
  
She was a bit surprised. She wanted to spit out something about him not caring but she ached so much for his comfort right now, she needed his help. At her nod, he showed her into the bathroom, where she sat down on the cushioned toilet seat.  
  
He pulled out a first aid kit from the medicine cabinet and rummaged through it until he found what he needed. "You'll have to take care of your knees once you change... these bandages will come right off with your jeans…" He stopped himself, blushing a little.  
  
She managed a frigid smile at his shyness. The moment that mask came off he was so insecure. "I'll... do it once you finish with my hands."  
  
He felt an uncomfortable silence build as he nursed her wounds. "So, just what the hell were you doing in this storm?"  
  
"Sh-shopping." She shrugged.  
  
"Just like a woman..." Peter tsk-ed.  
  
"For presents...I had no idea there was a storm coming." She winced as he cleaned out the scrapes. "I was on my way home, and I couldn't see anymore. I fell... and then there was the…" she stopped, shuddering from the thought of the car boring down on her. "…it came from nowhere."  
  
He nodded. "I was chasing those guys and the next thing I know I'm covered in white stuff. This suit isn't thermal you know," he joked lightly. Where had that come from?  
  
She chuckled. He always knew how to make her feel better. She sighed, having missed him so much.  
  
"Must be some pretty important presents there. You managed to hang onto them even after I swooped down and grabbed you." Peter wrapped the gauze gently around her hand.  
  
"For Aunt May and Anna and my roommate." She winced again as he began to apply the same treatments to her left hand. "And you."  
  
Peter froze, felt like a knife was being stuck and twisted into his heart. "Me?" he whispered.  
  
She lowered her gaze and nodded, seeming embarrassed. "Yeah, Pete. You."   
  
He was speechless, after everything that had happened last night... after everything he'd said…she still... he lowered his head ashamed. "MJ...."  
  
"I… I don't want anything in return. You don't have to..." she rambled. "I know after last night..."  
  
"MJ, I'm so..."  
  
"No, its okay Pete," she shushed him. "I...you... saved my life again. That's all I need," she replied, standing as he finished wrapping her left hand. "Thanks for fixing my hands... I'll just go grab those clothes you gave me and take care of the rest. I'll stay out of your hair 'til the storm passes, promise."  
  
And she was out the door.  
  
Peter couldn't have felt lower than he did right now. He swallowed hard and bowed his head. How he could've hurt her like that...   
  
After wallowing in self pity until she returned, he stood and left the bathroom so she could change.  
  
MJ shut the door behind him and bit on her chapped lips, hoping not to cry. Dropping her soaked-through clothes onto the floor, she moved to bandage her bruised and bloody knees. Then, she pulled on the large sweat pants and the pullover sweater he had given her. She inhaled his scent on them, and her head whirled in a bout of head-over-heels-in-love dizziness. She had to steady herself against the sink. Burying her cheek against the soft fabric of the collar, she closed her eyes and smiled softly, lost in the scent that was distinctly his. Her heart ached at the same time, wishing it was really him holding her, and not his smell on the clothes. She sighed, staring in the mirror at her frazzled looks. "God MJ, you look terrible."  
  
Peter turned the thermostat up, filling the apartment with a warm stuffiness, perfect for winter. He shivered and went to put some coffee on. He'd just started brewing a pot when he heard the door close upstairs and she emerged at the top of the steps.  
  
He turned his attention to her and sighed. She immediately looked better, warmer, out of those wet clothes. Her cheeks had some healthy color now and her lips were regaining some of their vivacity. She looked ravishing, even in oversized clothing and having just returned from a near death experience in the middle of a blizzard.  
  
"I'm making some coffee. It'll help you warm up," he informed her, once his mind got over how much he wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her close.  
  
She nodded, coming down the stairs. "Thanks."  
  
He fiddled with getting the mugs out, afraid to talk or look at her, afraid she'd see the adoration, the love in his eyes.  
  
"Peter, you should change," she broke in suddenly, coming up from behind him.   
  
"I'm okay," he assured her, shaking his head. Droplets of melting snow-water fell in his eyes as he did.  
  
"No you're not, you're shivering and you're soaked through," she countered, touching the red fabric of his shoulder. "Go on and change."  
  
He nodded in defeat, finally noticing that he was freezing and not getting any warmer. He retreated up the stairs to change. When he came back down she was pouring the steaming black liquid into mugs for them.  
  
He'd changed into gray sweats and a navy-blue long sleeve v-neck with a white t-shirt underneath. "Warmer?"  
  
"A bit." He shivered a little still, the cold having seeped into his very bones.  
  
"Here." She handed him the warm mug.  
  
He took it with shaking hands and plopped onto the sofa.  
  
She blew on hers, sipped it slowly, letting the liquid fill her with its warmth. She eyed the storm through the windows, still raging in all its fury outside, and fought back another shudder. It seemed to be coming down even harder now than it had before. "Sorry 'll be stuck here for a while. I know you must want me out of your way," she started, looking at the mug between her hands.  
  
"MJ, it's not like that," Peter protested, as he set down his mug. "I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're okay..."  
  
She sat on the opposite end of the sofa, turned up at his words, a question in her expression. "But last night you..."  
  
"MJ, I got scared and things got out of hand last night. You surprised me, and I…I overreacted," Peter began to apologize.  
  
"Really?" her eyes lit up.  
  
"I shouldn't have treated you so harshly. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, MJ," Peter sighed, one hand going through his hair in embarrassment. "I was wrong to act that way."  
  
"Oh Peter, I knew you didn't mean it. I kinda backed you in a corner and attacked you from all ends. I... was so sure of myself and I was so sure that you were just protecting me." She inched closer to him, bandaged hands gently cupping his cheeks. "I knew that you would want to be with me. I knew that you loved me!"  
  
Peter swallowed hard, seeing that light in her eye, hearing her words, and knowing he'd have to strike them all down. Again. This was going all wrong. "Slow down, MJ," he begged her, gingerly pulling her hands from his cheeks. "Let me finish."  
  
She sat ramrod straight, affected by his tone. He watched some of the light fade from her eyes.   
  
"Mary Jane... I care about you a lot." *Ok, good so far Pete, not a lie.* "I worry now more than before because you know the truth about me. You're very special MJ..." *Ok, still the truth there.* "…and I can't chance you getting hurt by someone because you know who I am…" *still good* "…I was wrong to kick you out last night, and I want a second chance…" *whoa there, cowboy* "…for us to be friends. So can you ever forgive me?"  
  
"Friends?" Her voice sounded far away.  
  
"Yeah. Peter Parker's friend, not Spider-Man's. And even still, I need you to promise not to tell anyone we're friends. If someone should find out..." He stopped at the look on her face. *Oh that did it, she's gonna explode again.*  
  
"Friends?!!" Her small frame shook with rage. "If you can even call what you're offering me friendship. Frankly, Pete maybe it be better if you just tell me you never want to see my face again!" she argued. "That's what you really want, isn't it?" She felt her temperature rising rapidly. "Honestly, I didn't ask for Spider-Man to save me, or to learn the truth! Maybe it'd be better if you hadn't saved me at all tonight!" she shouted.  
  
"Don't say that MJ!" he gripped her arm. "I couldn't bare the thought of something happening to you."  
  
The emotion she caught in his eyes made her heart break even more. "Peter, you're really confusing me. I love you, more than I thought I ever could love someone. No matter how many times you hurt me, I keep coming back because I need YOU. Not Spider-Man but YOU. And I know you need me too. Then you toy with my feelings, telling me I'm special and you care about me, on top of all those wonderful things you said about me in the hospital, and then you turn right around tell me you don't feel that way, you don't love me, and you never could. Why can't you see?! We're in this together. Let me help you, please. I want to take care of you. I want you to take care of me. I want to love you." She trembled, he could feel it with his hand resting on her shoulder. "I want you to love me..."  
  
"I can't MJ!" he shouted in frustration, dropping his hand back to his side. "You can't possibly understand!" He buried his head in his hands and groaned. Why did this have to hurt so much?! Why was it so hard?!  
  
"Then why don't you help me understand then?!" she pleaded.  
  
He shook his head, shrinking away. "MJ all I can offer you is friendship. It's all I want from you." *There goes that bitter white lie again Pete, way to slap her in the face!!!*   
  
"Well, I guess that's better than you never wanting to see me again..." she sighed, leaning back, sounding defeated.  
  
He was shocked by her giving in. He cocked his head to the side, studying her. "Huh?"   
  
She forced a smile to her face. *Don't think I give in that easily, Peter Parker. You may tell me all you want is friendship but I love you and I know you love me too.* "I guess I have no choice, right?"  
  
"Uh…right," he nodded, trying to sound assertive.   
  
She nodded, changed the subject. "Still pretty cold in here..." She looked past him to the window. "Looks like I might have to stay the night..."  
  
Peter studied her carefully, after a while, allowed himself a grin. Just what did she think she was up to? Her attitude just did a total 180 in the span of half a second. "Guess so."  
  
She looked around, wrinkling her nose. "No Christmas decor yet? Pete, you can't possibly not have any Christmas spirit."  
  
"Well, look how well Thanksgiving went, remember?" he snorted.  
  
"Everything turned out ok in the end," she reminded him.  
  
*Tell that to Harry and Norman...And now look at us, barely clinging to friendship when we both love each other so much. My touch is like poison. Everything dies…*  
  
She saw him zone off and wondered what he was thinking about right now. She desperately wanted to know everything, how he became Spider-Man, how the Green Goblin died, why he decided to save lives… but she knew there was no way he'd risk telling her more than she already knew. He'd said just as much earlier. Instead, she opted to let him come on his own. "Hey... you okay? You're about a million miles away right now, Pete."  
  
He snapped out of it, looking at those beautiful eyes of hers, noticing how gorgeous she was when she looked at him just like that. "Yeah..."  
  
"So, do you even have any decorations?" MJ asked, finishing off her coffee.   
  
"Actually, Aunt May dropped a few boxes off the other day. Been meaning to put them up but..." He paused, shrugged. "Got busy...you know with the night job."  
  
"Does she know?" MJ asked.  
  
"No!" he shook his head fervently. "No one knows but you, MJ. And it has to stay that way."  
  
"Of course, Pete. I wouldn't tell anyone, you gotta know that..." She rested her hand on top of his.  
  
"How are your injuries?" he asked, fingered the gauze.  
  
"Better... now that you're here." She smiled, hoping he'd remember her tone from two nights ago when she'd said the very same to Spider-Man.  
  
He blushed scarlet and cleared his throat. "Yeah…so you wanna help me decorate or what?"  
  
"That's what friends do," she replied brightly.  
  
"Yeah," he chuckled, not having missed the devious gleam in her eyes.  
  



	7. A Sense of Normalcy

**Hey all! Again, 'm supppper sorry for the long delay in updating! I blame it all on my estranged beta reader! :P Nah, she did her best to get it to me ASAP so I put it up as soon as I got it! Chapter 8 & 9 are already written so look for them soon! This chapter is mostly MJ/P fluff and working on building more around them. I promise the action 'll pick up again ch.9! So enjoy the fluff for now and be on the look out for more story soon! Thanks for your patience, I hope this chapter makes it worth the wait! ) **  
  
  
Chapter 7: A Sense of Normalcy  
  
_I don't know when we fell apart  
The love that we had was like a work of art  
I used to see Heaven in your eyes  
The angels have fallen from your skies  
Things we said were so wrong   
And I haven't held you for so long  
My foolish pride turns me inside  
Why did we tell all those lies?  
You can reach for the phone  
You don't have to be alone  
  
Outside the winter seems so cold  
Your heart is frozen like the snow  
And there's no one home to keep you safe and warm  
Your eyes are red because you've cried  
You fell asleep by the fireside  
But there's one thing you should know  
On this Christmas baby  
You don't have to be alone…  
  
And I had only one wish on my list, oh  
For me you would be the perfect gift, oh yeah  
There's nothing colder than an empty home, oh no (empty home)  
And holidays were never meant to be alone, oh (to be alone)  
The smiles we gave when our hearts were safe  
By each other's love and warmth  
That's subsided now with happiness around  
If I can only find the way to your heart_  
  
"How's it going over there?" Peter asked from across the apartment. He was untangling strands of Christmas lights and garland by the kitchen counter while MJ attempted to set up the tree by the balcony windows, near the TV and chairs.  
  
"Ugh!!" she snarled in response, unable to articulate a coherent response.   
  
"That bad, huh?" he quipped, wishing his spider powers could undo the knots Uncle Ben and Aunt May had created in the strands of multicolored lights. *Guess super powers can't solve everything.*  
  
"And this is why next year you'll get a real tree, Mr. Parker. Not one of these '_build your own_' Christmas trees that come with directions in every language but English." She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "Besides, real trees are prettier..." she trailed off, turning the directions around in her hands and trying to make some semblance of sense from amongst the jibberish in front of her.  
  
"I'd never thought you'd be the tree murderer type, MJ..." he teased.  
  
She snorted. "There comes a time where you gotta let certain things slide. That's one thing my family always did right- get real trees...." Unable to make head nor tails of the instructions, she sighed in defeat and made her way over to him.   
  
"Alright!! Look here Mr. Science Geek -- with that boyish, cutesy, dimpled smile and those astounding blue eyes of yours -- secretly and more known to the general public as the..." she lowered her voice coming to him, "muscle bound, brave, smart-mouthed, amazing, Spider-Man... YOU figure these directions out. Because I am so lost." She heaved the instructions at his chest with all her might, though he, unfazed, didn't rock back in the slightest, even with all her momentum. "If you can't, then it's all hopeless," MJ drawled, raising her hands in exasperation.  
  
Peter cleared his throat, taking the despised and thoroughly abused directions into his hands. He stared at them a moment, trying to decipher them, before suddenly looking at her in confusion, something just clicking in the back of his mind. "Did you uh… did you just say muscle-bound?"  
  
She blushed, but refused to back down. "Nu-uh, I said you have a cute smile. Pay attention, Pete."  
  
"Oh," he muttered in response, mind still so wrapped around the possibility of what he'd heard that he failed to register her last response. He absently directed his eyes back to the directions. "Hey," he looked up again, realizing she'd said both and a lot more, "wait a second..."  
  
"Well, c'mon what language are they in?" She poked him in the arm, interrupting him with a giggle.  
  
He sighed, looking back at the paper. "MJ..." he stifled a chuckle, "uh… well see, you kinda had them upside down."  
  
"Oh..." It was her turn to blush. She must have been a little distracted. "Whoops... well… always good to have a nerd around ya know, for things like that." She hastily snatched the directions back from him.  
  
"A nerd?!" Peter gasped. "Come back here with those! If you build my tree it'll probably fall apart with the first ornament!" He began to give chase. Seeing him so bent on capturing her, she gave a delighted squeal before starting to run, instructions grasped firmly in hand.  
  
She laughed as he pursued her, running them around in circles about the dining table, gleefully starting a game of cat and mouse, mischievous as children.   
  
Peter hopped over the long end of the table in one quick leap-frog motion and grasped her as she ran, unable to stop, into his arms.  
  
"No fair! No fair!!" She exploded into giggles as he began to tickle her sides. "Abuse of super powers!!" she cried softly, falling to the ground in a heap of chortles.   
  
Peter laughed slowing his assault only when she crumpled to the floor, helpless and still in his arms. "You okay?" He helped her up, feeling guilty for pouncing on her. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"  
  
"No, of course not!" She smiled radiantly at him, eyes still dancing with laughter. "I'm fine…I…" she fell silent then, finally having noticed that he was holding her in his arms… loosely perhaps, but all the same, it felt like heaven.  
  
"Good..." he replied, swallowing. Her eyes were sparkling with a vivacity that seemed to penetrate the entirety of the room, made the world around him come alive. They reminded him of emerald jewels, amber flecks swimming like pixies in their depths. Her smile made his heart pound so heavily he heard it, felt it in his ears and the back of his skull… it made him feel alarmingly lightheaded. His limbs moved on their own volition and a moment later, he found himself even closer to those verdant orbs, staring straight into them. Without knowing, without any thought as to the repercussions, his hand began to move to her face, lingered a moment before he started delicately tracing her cheekbone with the pads of his fingers, a feather light touch on glowing pink skin. He sighed, remembered what it was like to kiss those lips of hers, to hold that body near his. He yearned to feel them once more.  
  
He cupped her cheek and ran his thumb in small circles on the side of her face. His heart came to a standstill, almost stopped beating in his chest, as his breathing slowed to an unhealthy pace; it shook in his chest. She tilted her head, instinctually leaning into his caress, her eyes closing at the sensation of his touch. A smile of contentment crept upon her face, eyelids fluttering closed. He tilted his head to hers, moved to cover her mouth with his own.  
  
She sighed; one hand coming to rest on his chest, the other content to grip the arm he had encircling her waist. That look in his eyes… that gentle, adoring look… her heart drummed ferociously in her chest, her body shook with anticipation; she might explode if he wasn't kissing her a second more, she might she might she might. And then he was there, she could feel his warm breath against her face, could almost feel those lips brush hers, so close… when he paused, gave a start, a sound like gasping.  
  
That was when it all crashed down on them.  
  
Peter pulled away quickly, turning his head as a sneezing fit overtook him.  
  
MJ frowned, her heart still pounding in her chest, anticipation of what would now, never be. She sighed sadly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Pete?"  
  
He answered her with more sneezing, tried to respond by nodding his head, which only caused his neck to jerk back farther as another sneeze presented itself, making for a reply that resembled a cross between an epileptic fit and a pot-head at a Guns and Roses concert.   
  
MJ reached over to the table and grabbed the box of tissues for him. "Here." She handed him one, her eyes looking at him in a mixture of disappointment and concern. When he finished sneezing and finally blew his nose into the tissue, she let out another sigh and went back to the tree branches she'd left lying on the floor. She knew he'd only run, trying to deny what had almost happened again; so there was no point in disturbing the good time they were having by trying to force him back into her arms.  
  
"Thanks," he whispered, sounding nasal.  
  
"You catching a cold?" she asked, separating the different branch sizes to distract herself.  
  
"It'll pass fast," Peter assured her, catching the hind of disappointment in her voice.   
  
"Right. You heal quickly. I remember," she replied tightly. She started to assemble the branches on the tree stem, but couldn't help but add, "I wish you'd tell me more..."  
  
"I told you, the less you know the better..."  
  
"I know… or so you say," she interrupted a bit shortly. "Let's forget it. I don't wanna fight. We were having such a good time."  
  
"Ok, I'm sorry MJ." He raised his hands in a sign of surrender. "Need some help?"  
  
"Nah," she replied a little too quickly. "Now that we got these directions figured out I mean... 'm okay..."  
  
Peter could hear the hurt and anger in her voice, even as she tried to cover it up. It really unsettled him. Frowning, he wondered if they would ever be able to say two words to each other without upsetting the other again. "Okay."  
  
She felt guilty for snapping at him so hastily, a feeling that grew in the pit of her stomach as she continued to work on the tree. "How 'bout you, need some help with the lights?" she asked, after a while.   
  
"Still trying to untangle the knots Uncle Ben and Aunt May made," he responded with a small, slightly sheepish smile.   
  
He couldn't hide it from her though, no matter how much he smiled. His voice was laced with a tinge of pain, a vocal flinch, barely perceptible, but there, when he spoke to her. She knew he missed his Uncle severely, but it always seemed like there was more than nostalgia in his voice when he spoke of him. It was almost as if he felt guilty about his passing. She quietly wondered what would make him feel that way as she continued working on the tree.   
  
Once MJ had filled the branches out on the tree she put her hands on her hips and breathed deeply in appreciation. "By the power that's vested in me let this be a tree. And poof! There ya go, Pete," she quipped. "And it's not even that lopsided."  
  
Peter hopped down from the stairs, where he had been stringing up some lights. "Wow, MJ, great job!" he enthused, examining her handiwork.  
  
His smiled until his dimples showed- she flushed, feeling a blossom of warmth flower inside of herself, knowing he genuinely appreciated her help. "Thanks..." She looked at the tree with appreciatively herself. "I bet it won't look so bad for a plastic tree after all. Once we put the decorations on, that is."  
  
"Well, 'll be glad to help you, soon as I finish the lights on the stairs." Peter gestured to the string of lights curled around his arm.  
  
"Need some help?" She walked over to him.  
  
He looked up to the archway that separated the kitchen and living room. It was unreachable from the stairs and too high up for him to get by standing on a chair. "I might need a ladder," he admitted.   
  
"Or you could just crawl on up the wall and hang it yourself…" MJ suggested, whispering to him, "you know, cuz you can."  
  
Peter worried his bottom lip between his teeth in thought. "That might not be such a good idea. "  
  
"Why not? It's not like I don't already know you can do it, and there's no one else here," MJ pushed, looking around the empty room for emphasis.  
  
"Well, I...."  
  
"Or you can put me on your shoulders, Tiger." She drawled, raising her brows seductively.  
  
"Climb you say?" He ran a hand through his hair shyly. She always made his heart race when she called him Tiger.  
  
She grinned; still amazed at the power she had over him, the super-hero with equally super powers. All in all, Spider-Man was still Peter Parker, and he would always be the shy, nerdy boy next door; even if he had lost the goofy glasses, had grown some muscles, and had an affinity for saving New York and its citizens on a daily basis. That was the thing that MJ loved the most about him.  
  
"Here, I'll hold the lights and staple gun." She grabbed the strands of lights from him before he could protest.  
  
He looked at her uncertainly again. "Are you sure you're not making me do this cuz I'm Spider-Man? I mean cuz you wanna know how I do all this and stuff?" he babbled nervously.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Pete, I really could care less about Spider-Man."  
  
"Now you know that's not true," he chastised, waggling a finger at her. "You told me you had a crush on him."  
  
"I also told _you_ that I love _you_ and not him and it doesn't make a difference cuz you're him and oh geez, will ya just hang the lights up already?" She shoved him toward the stair case.   
  
"Okay, okay..." he relented, shuffling up the stairs. Pressing his palms onto the wall, he turned over his shoulder to look back at her once more. She was grinning at him in awe, attention riveted. On her look, he felt the familiar, heady rush of adrenalin that seemed tied to her smile and he hopped up, clinging to the ceiling near the archway.   
  
She stared at him in amazement, taken aback even more so than usual by his powers as she watched him, out of costume. She was gaping and she very well knew it. But she couldn't find it in herself to move. Or care.   
  
Peter turned his head to look down to her, grinning in self-satisfaction though he knew that he shouldn't feel so smug by impressing her so thoroughly. *Try not to get a swelled head Pete, she's only impressed with Spider-Man, not you...*   
  
"Wow, Peter..." she finally breathed, coming to stand directly underneath him. "You really are something else -- color me impressed -- even more so without the costume you know? It's like, you really are just hanging there… all by yourself..." She smiled broadly. "It must be sooo amazing," she sighed whimsically, unable to hide the touch of envy in her voice.  
  
"Yeah, well, it does have its perks," he grinned shrugging mock-modestly. His head was getting bigger by the moment, despite his early warnings to himself.  
  
*And disadvantages...* she thought to herself though at the same time she couldn't tear her eyes off of him.  
  
"Uhh... MJ... we gonna do this sometime today? I am still human…mostly… and blood is rushing to my head." He shifted uncomfortably on the wall, shook his head for emphasis.   
  
"What? Oh! Oh... geez…sorry!" She quickly dragged a chair over, which was tall enough to reach him at arms length. Reaching up toward him, she handed him a strand of lights and watched as he scuttled expertly across the ceiling. She handed him the staple gun and he stretched the lights out across the archway, stapling as he moved.  
  
When he reached the end, he back flipped neatly off the ceiling and landed lightly on his toes and his left palm, his free hand clutching the staple gun.  
  
"Show off," she snorted, still standing on the chair.  
  
"It's just easier than hopping down. I make less noise landing by distributing the weight that way," he explained, reaching out to grab her wrist and help her down from the chair.  
  
"Uh huh... sure," she laughed sarcastically.  
  
"It's true!" he defended, knowing it wasn't…well, not so much anyway.  
  
"If you say so, Pete," she singsonged as she finished stringing the lights down the archway and plugged them in. "Ready to do the tree?"  
  
He was sifting through a box, and gulped when he found a sprig of green leaves and little red flowers more commonly known as mistletoe when he heard her question. Boy, Aunt May sure could be sneaky. "Uh... tree?" he asked, voice slightly higher than he intended. Clearing his throat, he quickly concealed the mistletoe with left-over garland. "Yeah... sure…yeah…"  
  
She raised her brows at him, wondering what had him so jumpy all of a sudden.  
  
Together, they began hanging ornaments of all colors on the tree: shiny glass balls of all shapes and sizes, strands of lights and special ornaments that bore the names of Peter's loved ones, from his parents to his aunt and uncle.  
  
MJ admired a metallic silver and gold ornament, decorated with images of doves carrying mistletoe, sparkling snowflakes, and diamond speckled hearts. "This is gorgeous," she breathed, watching the light dance off the images like snow fairies.   
  
At the sound of her voice, Peter looked up from hanging candy canes and smiled at the sight of the ornament she held so delicately in her hands. "It's my favorite," he admitted softly, setting down the candy canes and putting his hands around hers. He turned the Christmas ball around in her hands, so she could see the inscription. "It was my mother's and father's; it's from their first Christmas together. Uncle Ben told me Dad had it made for her overseas and it cost him everything he had in his pocket that Christmas. Uncle Ben said that she never regretted not getting anything extravagant that year because she loved this so..." he paused, voice catching a little, "…because she loved this so much," he finished softly: love, pride and a sense of loss all filled his voice.  
  
She looked up at him, at his hands cupping hers. Smiling softly, she felt her heart swell, so honored was so to be gifted with such intimate knowledge of his past. "That's so sweet. Your mom and dad were really in love," she sighed dreamily, slightly envious.   
  
"Yeah, guess so." He examined the precious ornament, making sure no damage had come to it. "It was sweet of Aunt May to let me have it this year."  
  
"Here," she turned it over gently into his palms. "You should hang it yourself; it's special to you..."  
  
"Oh, it's okay, MJ. I don't mind," he admitted, moving to give it back to her.  
  
"No Pete, its something special," she protested.  
  
"How bout we do it together?" he offered, not letting up.  
  
"If you insist," she conceded, with a smile. "Where should we put it?"  
  
"How bout right here in the front?" he suggested, pointing to an open spot out where it could be seen by all.  
  
"Okay," she agreed, intertwining her fingers with his over the fragile ornament.   
  
Together they hooked it onto a stable branch and stood back to admire it.  
  
MJ reached out to straighten it as it spun the names of Peter's parents and the year it was given in front of them. It turned slowly in the soft light and MJ blinked back tears from her eyes as she read the other side of it. It read in gold inscriptions over the silver:  
  
_To the love of my life, my wife, my partner, my best friend...May love always find us at this special time of year and every one that follows. My greatest joy will always be loving you..._  
  
Peter looked over at MJ when he heard a distinctive sniffle. He tilted his head, wondering why her eyes were stained with tears. "MJ? What's wrong?"  
  
She swallowed hard, wiping the back of her palms across her eyes quickly. She only wished she and Peter could have such a special Christmas, celebrated together in love. She cleared her throat, covering up her longing with a smile. "Nothing, Tiger, it's just so beautiful..." she whispered. "It must be wonderful to feel so in love." She reached out to touch the ornament again, wishing it had their names inscribed on it.  
  
Peter's heart plummeted to his feet as he watched her, witnessing how much she longed for the same kind of love his parents had had for one another, and his heart shattered when he realized that he couldn't give it to her. Lowering his head in shame, he wished, oh he wished he could do something to take her pain away, the same pain he felt clotting in his chest, and oh he ached with all he was, wanting, wishing that there could be a future for him with MJ, the same his parents had had together before passing away. He wanted for the trivial things of being in love like special ornaments, special restaurants and flowers and certain songs and moments that made life all worth living for. Oh how he wished.  
  
But he had to be content with having her friendship. His first responsibility was to be true to his duty as Spider-Man, his promise to Uncle Ben that no more people he loved would hurt because of who he'd become would see to that. He had stumbled upon a great power and subsequently had been allotted with the responsibility of carrying it with him for the rest of his life. And he'd have to shoulder the burden of spending a lifetime of loneliness in the process.  
  
MJ looked over at him, catching his cerulean eyes with her own. She saw the look of torment, the mask of indecision written all over his features. She silently prayed he'd tell her what was bothering him; what made him give up all he had right in the palm of his hands because of his special gift. Why couldn't he just share his gift with her? Let her help him deal with everything he faced on a daily basis? Why did he feel he was obligated to do it all alone? All she wanted was to love him, to help him. Why couldn't he just give in and know she was safer with him at her side than on her own?  
  
Peter couldn't stand the dismal look on her face anymore, he was sure his expression mirrored her own. He shook his head, bent down to begin searching through the box of ornaments again, looking for anything that could put the smile back on her face. He grinned, triumphant, upon finding just such a thing buried beneath all the assorted wooden figures of Santa Claus, snowmen and reindeer. "Hey MJ, I never knew you were one of Santa's lil helpers..." he teased, showing off what he found.  
  
MJ's tortured expression changed to that of delight and a smile cracked through the gray clouds in her eyes. They shimmered to life and she snorted at him, lifting one delicate eyebrow. Snatching the wooden ornament from his hand, she examined it close up. It was a little elf, carrying a bundle of presents in a green smock. She smiled radiantly; all brilliant red hair decorated with green bows. The sad thing was, it did resemble her. "Ha, ha very funny, Peter..." she laughed dryly, though her smile was genuine. He always knew what to say to make her laugh.  
  
"So can I tell you what I want Santa to bring me for Christmas?" he teased further, relieved to hear her laughter again.  
  
"Why tell me, you're Spider-Man! I'm sure Santa's got a soft spot for superheroes. Even if they do turn out to be stalkers..." she teased in return.  
  
"But he doesn't know who Spidey really is," Peter played along, happy to leave behind all the bad feelings from before.  
  
"Sure he does!! Santa knows everything!" she assured him, winking.  
  
"How would you know?"  
  
"I'm his lil helper, remember?" MJ sniffed, tossing her hair coyly as she reached out and made the ornament dance on the end of its string.  
  
He snatched it back from her and hung it on the tree.   
  
"Hey, I betcha hallmark makes an ornament of you!" MJ's eyes lit up. "Wouldn't that be cool?"  
  
"Please, half the city of NY hates me." Peter rolled his eyes.  
  
"They do not! Not after you saved me and those kids on the cable car," she reminded him. "It's just that stupid J. Jonah Jameson that writes all those awful things about you," she huffed, hanging a snowman on the tree. She stopped puzzled. "Peter? How come you keep taking pictures of Spider-Man for him??" She gripped his arm tightly, despite the bandages on her hands. "Hang on a sec... how do you take pics of Spider-Man??"  
  
"Well, I set my camera up on timer and take them that way. They're the only photos he wants from me MJ, so I gotta do it to pay the rent," he explained, shrugging it off.  
  
"But how can you let him bad mouth Spider-Man like that, and with your own pictures?!" She shook her head. "It's not right."  
  
"I guess to say it's ironic would be an understatement, huh?" he chuckled. "I can't let it get to me MJ, it's part of that whole secret identity thing. Besides, taking pictures of Spider-Man makes it all the less likely that I could be him. Jonah would have a cow if he ever figured out that Peter Parker could possibly be him. He'd have me arrested on sight."  
  
"I suppose so... I just wish he'd set the record straight. You're a hero to this entire city," MJ ranted, digging down, finding the last of the ornaments.  
  
"Spoken like any true fan club President," Peter joked.  
  
"Spider-Man for mayor!" MJ whooped with a laugh.  
  
"That'd be the day," Peter chuckled, shaking his head as he finished off the candy canes.  
  
"Looks like that's all the ornaments," MJ declared, taking in their handiwork satisfactorily.   
  
"Yup," Peter replied simply, surveying the room. It was definitely more cheery.  
  
MJ put the cover back on the box that housed the ornaments. She smiled, eyes catching his for a moment. He returned the gesture unconsciously. Unable to help herself, she let her eyes drift back to the tree, catching sight of that special silver/gold ornament. Feeling both warmed and chilled at the sight of it, she wrapped her arms around herself and walked over to the balcony windows. She pulled back the curtain, studying the snowfall outside. Sighing, she watched it fall at a rapid rate. At least it seemed lighter than before.   
  
"Well, looks like its starting to let up a bit," MJ announced, leaning against the cool glass. "From a blizzard to a storm," she chuckled. "Looks to be bout 4 feet out there."  
  
Peter peered over her shoulder. "Actually, according to the mileage of the wind and given the amount of time the snow's been falling... looks to be about 6 feet."  
  
"Ever the science geek, Pete," she sighed, making her way back to the couch.  
  
He blushed. "Sorry..."  
  
"It's okay. That's what makes you, you." MJ smiled at him.  
  
He sat beside her and took in all the twinkling lights illuminating his apartment now. "Thanks for the help with the decorating, MJ... probably would've never gotten it done without you."  
  
"Glad to help. I don't have any decorations at my apartment. Gina was supposed to get some but she's too busy I guess." She reached over to pull a throw blanket around her legs and snuggled into the warmth of the now cozy apartment. "I usually love Christmas..."  
  
"Oh, hey, you ready to light the tree?" Peter interrupted her daydreams as her smile started going slightly sour.  
  
She was yanked from thoughts of how Christmas at home had changed over the years, and the fact that this would be her first Christmas away from her parents. She couldn't wait, but she still felt lonely. "Yeah," she smiled. "Make sure you turn off the lights!" MJ ordered as Pete went over to plug in the extension cord.  
  
He flicked the lights off and the apartment went dark, leaving only the twinkling strands of lights around his stairwell and kitchen to illuminate the room. "Ready?" he looked to her for his cue.  
  
She nodded.  
  
He plugged them in and all at once an array of brilliant colors lit the room up, the star atop the tree blinking in a rainbow of light. "Wow..." He grinned, coming to sit next to her.   
  
"It's beautiful, even for a fake tree," MJ complimented, referring back her initial distaste for the plastic type.  
  
"Yeah, it is," Peter allowed, smiling so his dimples showed.  
  
MJ looked over at him and for a moment, and all the world was right. They almost seemed like a normal couple in love, celebrating the holidays together. She took in his sweet smile and slipped closer to him on the couch. "Are you scared?"  
  
"Of?"  
  
"Your first Christmas away from your Aunt?" MJ whispered.  
  
He nodded, thinking of Uncle Ben. Being without him was gonna be even harder.  
  
"And your Uncle?" MJ read his mind. "You must miss him a lot now."  
  
"I always miss him a lot." Peter's voice grew raspy with emotion. "How bout you? Gonna go home for the holidays?"  
  
*I already feel like I am home, here with you...* "Nah, rather be all alone than with them..." Almost ashamed of her words, she looked down at her bandaged hands.  
  
"You're not alone Mary Jane." Peter put an arm around her shoulder.  
  
She looked over at him, her heart soaring at his show of affection. She leaned into his embrace, resting her head on his chest. She put an arm around him, hugging him close.  
  
"MJ..."  
  
"Just for a little while Tiger, please?" she pleaded, tightening her hold on him. Her resolve broke and she couldn't stand being a minute longer without feeling as close to him as he'd let her. She looked up at him, again close enough to feel the warmth of his breath tickle her face. She swallowed her pride and opened her heart, though she knew rejection was imminent. "I feel so safe when I'm with you, Pete. Like the other night, when you held me till I fell asleep," she spoke honestly, resting her chin against his chest. "I know you don't love me, but can't you just hold me, for a little while? Please?"  
  
He couldn't deny the emerald pools staring up at him, luminescent in the soft glow of the Christmas lights. He didn't think there was anything that could make him deny her anything right now. Moving his other arm around her, he fixed the blanket tightly about her and embraced her, pulling her against him. He rested his cheek against the pillow of soft vermillion hair and closed his eyes. *I don't have to pretend MJ, I love you and I love holding you like this...*   
  
She snuggled into his lap and closed her eyes, pulling the blanket up to her chin. She listened to the beat of his heart- rapid pounding in his chest, and she dared to hope that it was her presence that caused it to race so. She felt a touch of serenity from being held in his strong arms- the long awaited feeling of security, of absolute safety. It was so rare for her. She remembered the feel of his arms around her the other night as Spider-Man, and she knew, she knew, nothing would ever compare to being held by him like this, right now, with the gentle rise and fall of his chest lulling her, his warm breath blowing into her hair, the feel of his hand gently rubbing her cheek, and the pounding of his heart rocking her to sleep.  
  
**********  
  
Peter woke with a small start, feeling a weight on his chest. He looked down, and found a redhead buried in his arms. He sighed contentedly and allowed a rueful smile, letting himself imagine that they had been cuddling on his couch, and fallen asleep kissing each other. He stroked her hair, breathing in the scent that was uniquely hers. He squeezed her close and cherished the feel of her in his arms.   
  
He sat in the silence of the living room, surrounded by blinking Christmas lights, and he felt a pang in his heart, wanting to spend every night with her just like this. They loved each other so much. It was unfair for him to keep her so close, yet not let her into his heart. He decided right then to wake her and let her know that he loved her. He remembered the look of sorrow in her eyes earlier, when she found his parents' Christmas ornament. He wanted her to know that she was loved just as much.  
  
"MJ..." Peter called, lifting her weight up into his arms. "Wake up, Mary Jane..." He shook her gently.  
  
She didn't stir.  
  
"Boy, are we a heavy sleeper," Peter quipped, pulling her closer to him, attempting to wake her. He lifted her chin, grazing his lips on hers hoping that would stir her awake. "Wake up, beautiful..." he whispered.  
  
Her head tilted back, limp.  
  
"MJ?" his voice grew slightly high with concern. She was limp in his arms- dead weight. "Wake up! MJ?" He shook her a bit harder now; heart pounding so heavily, his ears rang. That was when he noticed she wasn't breathing. "Oh God, Mary Jane!!" he cried, cuddling her lifeless body in his arms. What had happened?!   
  
An evil cackle filled the room and Peter looked up, trying to find the source.  
  
It filled the room from all ends, closed in around him… the same dull, wicked laughter over and over.  
  
Peter's heart froze, his veins filling with ice. He knew that laugh.  
  
"You killed her, Parker!!!" the voice snarled, filled with demonic laughter.  
  
Peter's head snapped around and he found himself face to face with a ghost.  
  
The Green Goblin was standing across the room, his yellow eyes glinting in the moonlight. "Well done, Parker!!! You killed the woman you loved!!"  
  
Peter shook with fear as his eyes settled on her lifeless face. "MJ?!" he felt a wave of nausea wash over him, his body covered in cold sweat. "No!!!!"  
  
"All with one deadly kiss, Parker, you lost it all! You poisoned her!! Some hero!" Goblin tormented. "Now you're no better than me!!"  
  
Peter shook his head violently. "I didn't!!!!! I didn't!"   
  
"What would Uncle Ben say?!" Goblin gasped, putting a hand to his masked mouth. "You're a monster, Spider-Man!!! You killed her!! Such a sweet, innocent girl. Oh she loved you! And you klild her!"  
  
Peter's eyes filled with tears. "No!! I didn't!!!" he brushed back MJ's hair from her face, stroking her skin, his touch desperate. "MJ, please!! No!!!"  
  
"All with a kiss, you lost it all!!!" Goblin pointed at him, cackling.  
  
"Noooo!!!! Mary Jane!!!!!" he gripped her vehemently, shaking her, praying that she jerk awake, get up, furious at him for disturbing her rest. "Please MJ, no!!! I love you!!!"  
  
Then she was tumbling off the bridge into a bottomless pit of darkness below. She screamed for him, reaching out to him.   
  
Peter couldn't move. He tried to shoot a web to her but nothing happened. "MJ!!!!! No!!!"   
  
"Peter!!!" she cried voice far away.  
  
"Peter, wake up!!!!" Her voice sounded closer now. "Please!! You're hurting me!!! Wake up!!!"  
  
Peter's eyes shot open and he screamed.  
  
MJ immediately felt the pressure of his grasp loosen. "Peter, my God... are you okay?"  
  
Peter sat up, dazed. "What?" he then realized he held MJ by her upper arms, in a vice like grip. He let go of her gently. "MJ?"  
  
"You were dreaming, Pete," she soothed. "Everything's okay now. I'm right here..." She tenderly stroked back strands of his tousled, matted hair.   
  
"What happened?" Peter groaned, rubbing his eyes. He noticed it was as dark outside as in his dream, though the lights twinkled just the same. It seemed so real, so vivid.  
  
"You were screaming my name and no over and over, Pete. You sounded really scared. I woke up when I felt you squeezing me." She rubbed her arm a bit sorely. "And what a grip you've got..."  
  
"Did I hurt you?" his eyes filled with concern, his hand reaching out to touch her arm.  
  
"I'll be okay... I'm worried bout you though..."  
  
"Was just a bad dream." He tried to shrug it off, avoided her.   
  
MJ sighed, reached up to continue stroking his hair. His forehead was damp with sweat. "Musta been really bad..."  
  
"I'll be okay," he muttered softly.  
  
She let her fingers trail down to his cheek. She stroked his cheekbone smiling. "You don't have to be strong for me, Pete... What happened? Did I do something to hurt you?"  
  
He shook his head silently, his blue eyes seeming pale.   
  
"Did something happen to me?" She cocked her head to the side, studying him intently.  
  
He nodded gently, eyes locked on hers.  
  
He resembled a scared little boy, so lost and alone that she couldn't resist pulling him into a hug.   
  
"It was my fault. I couldn't protect you," he whispered, afraid to speak, arms encircling her protectively.  
  
"I'm okay though, Pete. Thanks to you, I'm always okay. You always save me," she assured him, smiling for reassurance.  
  
"Not this time." He shook his head, chilled inside. "Not this time."  
  
"It was just a dream, Tiger," she shushed, rubbing his arm comfortingly. "I'm right here with you."  
  
He threw his arms around her and pulled her into a crushing hug. "MJ.... I..." he trailed off. He wanted to tell her, it was right there, ready to come out, but his conscious slapped him hard, back to reality, back to the possibilities.   
  
"Yes?" Her eyes lit up with hope.  
  
That made it all the more harder for him. "I'm sorry I scared you. I'm okay now. I just… I don't want anything to happen to you."  
  
She lowered her eyes to the couch. "You should go to bed, Pete," she suggested softly. "Maybe you'll be more comfortable there."  
  
He shook his head, leaning back onto the couch pillows. He pulled her with him. "I'm fine right here, knowing you're safe. Besides, I promised to stay with you for awhile."  
  
She grinned widely. "Thanks, Tiger.... I always sleep much better with you close by." She rested her head on his chest and slipped into the little space between him and the back of the couch. Burying her head into the fabric of his shirt, she wrapped her arm around his neck, stroking the hairs behind his ear.   
  
As the rise and fall of his chest began to grow steadier and she was sure he was sound asleep, she pulled the blanket up over them and leaned down to kiss his cheek. "Sweet dreams, Tiger..."  
  
coming soon chapter 8!   
  



	8. Tested and Still Standing

Thre long wait is over!! Amen!! To those that really care LOL Well, I promised and delivered. Though, I truly hope it was worth the wait and you all enjoy it. I will try to post chapter 9 ASAP as well. Please be honest in your opinions but don't shoot me down, my ego needs a boost since its been so long since I updated!! :) I again apologize for leaving y'all waiting and dare hope it doesn't happen again!!! I hate waiting for fics to update so I feel for all of you who waited for me. Thank you for your emails asking when I was going to add more and for all your kind words. Its with your enjoyment and kind words that I continue to work on this fic, so keep 'em rolling and 'll keep the chapters rolling :) It's a win-win situation really...really...it is!! I swear it!!! Remember, read and review!! ;) Make my world a better place...   
  
Its been so long, but you guys waited long enough, disclaimers and AN's can be find on the first chapter, so if you're new to this hullabaloo go there (and why the heck are you starting with the latest chapter?) *g* and you'll find all the info you seek.  
  
In case you forgot, *words* are thoughts, and the rest is pretty simple... LOL   
  
The song to start off this chapter is my favorite for MJ/P and I waited and waited for the right chapter to use it in and considering how the chapter ends, I thought it fit here, but it really is the perfect song to describe MJ's feelings for her man. *g*  
  
Without further ado...  
  
**  
  
Chapter 8: Tested and Still Standing... **  
  
_Oh, why you look so sad?  
Tears are in your eyes  
Come on and come to me now.  
  
Don't be ashamed to cry,  
let me see you through  
Cause I've seen the dark side too.  
  
When the night falls on you,  
you don't know what to do,  
Nothing you confess  
could make me love you less  
I'll stand by you,  
I'll stand by you,  
won't let nobody hurt you,  
I'll stand by you.  
  
So, if you're mad get mad,  
don't hold it all inside,  
Come on and talk to me now.  
  
And hey, what you got to hide?  
I get angry too  
But I'm alot like you.  
  
When you're standing at the crossroads,  
don't know which path to choose,  
Let me come along,  
cause even if your wrong  
I'll stand by you,  
I'll stand by you,  
won't let nobody hurt you,  
I'll stand by you.  
  
Take me into your darkest hour,  
and I'll never desert you.  
I'll stand by you.  
  
And when, when the night falls on you baby,  
you're feeling all alone,  
You won't be on your own,  
I'll stand by you.  
I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you,  
won't let nobody hurt you.  
I'll stand by you  
  
Take me in into your darkest hour  
and I'll never desert you  
I'll stand by you.  
_  
  
The first thing he became aware of was the combined scents of perfume and coffee. He sniffed again, the mixed aroma tingling his nose. He opened an eye and peered out into the light of morning that filled the room. The blanket pulled up to his neck was permeated with the perfumed aroma he smelt. It caused him to sigh softly. It only brought one thought to mind; MJ...   
  
His mind grew foggy trying to remember the night's events and why the smell of MJ's perfume was all over his blanket. He opened both eyes, remembering the snow that stranded her there and decorating, then falling asleep holding her and finally ... the nightmare. He sat up slowly, disorientated, trying to piece together what was real and what wasn't.  
  
He turned his head, searching for her. He let out a sigh of relief when he caught her shadowed figure by the windows. She sat in one of the dining chairs, knees tucked up and her arms wrapped around them. A cup of steaming coffee was grasped in her tiny hands. The winter morning light made her fiery red hair look deep burgundy with highlights of gold where the sun peaked through a cloud.   
  
She was an angel.  
  
Or the kind of person who resembled an angel; one who was still living and breathing.   
  
Thank you very much.   
  
And he'd like to keep it that way.  
  
His stomach rumbled and his mouth watered for the taste of coffee. He wondered for a moment when he'd become such a caffeine addict then tossed the thought and the blanket aside and stood, stretching. He looked over at her, wondering what he would say to her after their night together. He felt a rush of nostalgia at the thought of being tongue-tied around her.   
  
Not the good kind of nostalgia either.   
  
It came complete with every emotion the nerdy Peter Parker felt around this angel of his. He felt his heart pound wildly and his vocal cords constrict, if that was at all possible. His palms began to sweat and his breathing came to a halt. Amazing what effect this girl had over him. A super-hero shaking in his tights; its not a pretty picture. Still, he'd come a long way since then ... yes, causing actual sentences to make sense when he spoke to her was improvement.   
  
With that, he stepped closer to her. He came to stand over her, wanting so much to reach out and stroke her fiery red hair. *Be brave Parker...* He licked his lips and his mouth opened. He made a soft squeak, not audible to the ear.   
  
MJ set her mug down on the heater. She sighed, letting out a cough as his attempt to speak came out.  
  
He cursed the butterflies in his stomach and took a shaky breath. *Knock it off Peter ... just cuz she spent the night doesn't mean anything has to be different.* "Hey MJ..." he whispered, finally finding the courage.  
  
She gasped, turning quickly. "Peter!!" she clutched her chest. "Holy!!! You _are_ as sneaky as a spider...geez...." she took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. "What's the big idea?!" she punched his arm.  
  
"Sorry," he blushed sheepishly. "Didn't mean to-"  
  
Her eyes widened quickly as if a thought just came to mind.   
  
She turned from him quickly, running her hands through her hair. "I thought you were still asleep."  
  
"Just woke up," he informed, watching her rake her fingers through those gorgeous locks. He sighed in envy.   
  
"Uhh... coffee's fresh and... I was gonna make some breakfast, but much like the movies, your 'bachelor pad' has no food that's still edible..." she tucked strands behind her ears.  
  
"Ok," he replied simply. "Coffee 's good..." he smiled. She was staring out the window, hands still going through her hair over and over. He cocked his head, studying her. "MJ? You ok?"  
  
"Yeah, fine," she answered.  
  
He put a hand on her shoulder, worried. "Are you sure?" he turned her shoulder, hoping she'd look at him.  
  
"Peter, yeah..." she wouldn't budge.  
  
"Hey..." he kneeled beside her, all thoughts of being afraid to talk to her flew out the window with concern for her well being. "MJ..."  
  
"I just... I-I didn't put my make up on and stuff, don't look at me," she stammered and turned her face further from him.  
  
"Oh, MJ ... you don't have to..."  
  
"Really... I'm not quite the pretty face in the morning... I-"  
  
"Mary Jane, you're gorgeous any time of the day..." he spoke before his mind could argue with him about it.  
  
She chuckled sardonically. "A compliment from Peter Parker. Must be my lucky day."  
  
He wasn't lost on her sarcasm. Confused by it, yes. Women were the strangest creatures on earth. "Will you please tell me what's wrong?"  
  
She sighed, turning to him finally. "Nothing, Pete. I'm sorry." She was genuine. His own hair stuck up in strands wildly, his blue eyes filled with sleep. Even mussed up, he was just as handsome, if not more. There was a definite cute factor there.   
  
He decided right then and there, she really was beyond gorgeous. "Ok..." he let it go. "Thanks for making coffee..." he was toying with a strand of her hair before he knew it.   
  
"No problem..." she smiled. "Snow stopped falling." She informed distracted by his finger tips twirling the ends of her locks. She was afraid to speak or move, afraid he would stop. She smiled, wondering if he even knew the scarlet strands were wrapped around his finger. "Looks like you were right on the mark. They said it was a total of 6 feet. I've never seen Manhattan at such a stand still. Said it could take most of the day to get the streets and sidewalk cleaned."  
  
He let the strand untwirl from his grasp and gave her a small smile, looking apologetic. He stood, walking to the kitchen to get that cup of coffee he woke aching for. He let out a final yawn, ingesting her information. "Maybe Spider-Man will get a day off then."  
  
She huffed. "I think even Enrique is taking the day off. Or so I hope, or 'm out a job...."  
  
"Do you wanna give a call? I could try and you know..." he paused. "...web sling you over there..." he offered, pouring a cup.  
  
"Nah..." she stood, grabbing her mug. "One thing I know about Enrique that 'm sure of, snow and Enrique don't mix. He'll keep the diner closed, especially if there's no money to be made." She set her mug down next to his.  
  
Peter refilled her mug. He silently thanked the stars that she didn't have to go. He wanted to keep her here as long as he could. Despite the warning in his brain, his heart would not allow the message to take heed.  
  
"Maybe you can take me home though..." she interrupted his thoughts. "I don't wanna be in your way..."  
  
"Don't be silly! What am I gonna do here all by myself anyway?" Peter sipped the hot coffee.  
  
"I dunno..." she traced her finger around the rim of her mug. "What'd ya plan to do with me here?" she raised a shaped brow delicately, her voice full of suggestion.  
  
Peter coughed, managing to swallow his coffee this time. "MJ..." he choked. "You have a bad habit of saying the darndest things when there's hot coffee involved!"  
  
She chuckled. "I do, don't I? Sorry..." she sipped her coffee.  
  
"So how are you at chess?" Peter asked.  
  
She raised a brow at him again, this time more menacing. "If that's your idea of a good time, I may have to take back what I said about always having a geek around as of the good..."  
  
He chuckled, dimples showing. "Checkers?"  
  
She groaned. "Paint drying on the wall? Counting the molecules floating around the air?"  
  
"Point taken," he laughed, hands raised in defense. "I guess my humor isn't as funny without the costume..."  
  
She shook her head with a teasing smile. "You just haven't woken up yet..."   
  
"I hope, heaven forbid I lose my charming wit. I'd be lost without it..." he rolled his eyes.  
  
"You'd still be a pretty face," she shrugged. "Speaking of..." she slipped away from the counter. "I'm gonna go put mine on, and see if my clothes are dry."  
  
"You already have a pretty face!" he called as she headed upstairs.  
  
"Thanks, Tiger..." she stopped on the steps to smile at him.   
  
Her eyes met his and they locked each other in a silent look, that spoke volumes. She smiled softly, heart pounding at the sparkle of his bright blue eyes, staring up at her, and that boyish smile she'd come to cherish.   
  
That smile that was privately reserved for her eyes only. Little did she know, it was truly for her. The one that said all the things he couldn't or wouldn't say to her.  
  
Then, the most god awful noise filled the room.   
  
The phone rang.  
  
"Wow, almost forgot what that was like..." Peter cracked as he walked over to pick up, but the answering machine got it first. "Probably just Aunt May...."  
  
MJ continued back up the stairs.  
  
"Hey, you've reached Peter and Harry ... we're busy at the moment, leave us a message and we'll get back to ya!" the machine played.  
  
"Peter?" a female voice, much too young to be Aunt May spoke.  
  
MJ turned back at the top of the stairs.  
  
"It's Amber. How are you? I guess you're sleeping, cuz there's no way you're out in the snow. Right?" she paused, a sweet chuckle filling the room. "Anyway, just wanted to call and say hi. Hope we could make that lunch date happen soon. Say, after the snow enables life to go on living?" she chuckled sweetly again.  
  
It made MJ sick.  
  
Peter stared at the machine like it was a foreign object.   
  
"Well, if you get this message, give a call back. Thanks for being so sweet to me! You always know just what to say to put a smile on my face. Number's 989-0016. Hope to hear from you soon! Bye cutie!"  
  
Then the monotone voice of the answering machine said there was one new message.  
  
MJ's heart pounded fearfully at the top of the stairs. She stared down at him, eyes begging him to explain this away.  
  
Peter fell nauseous, and his stomach rolled. He was grateful he hadn't eaten anything yet. He felt his spider sense tingle and he knew there was no kind of physical danger but he could feel MJ's eyes blazing into him and he was sure her hard stare was what caused it to go off. He swallowed hard, wishing this didn't seem as it appeared. A million ideas on what to say rushed to his mind at once making his temples pound.  
  
He brushed back his hair nervously. "She's new at the Bugle..." he said weakly. *Great start, Pete.*  
  
MJ continued to stare, wanting more. There had to be a proper explanation. Peter would not keep her at bay while some floozy blonde threw herself at him. And yes, she could tell she was blonde just from her voice. It was a talent she acquired working in the acting industry.  
  
"She ... uh ... she's a freelance writer..." he continued. "I saved her the other night. Well, she doesn't know it was me obviously." He chuckled, nervously. "I met her in the elevator and we got to talking," he added, still seeing her eyes filled with accusation. "She's a friend." He finished lamely.  
  
MJ nodded mutely. *Just a friend, like you are, MJ. Nothing more. He can't be with anyone. He told you that. Because of Spider-Man. If he wanted to be with someone it was you, MJ. He held you last night, MJ. He held you all night, and he's with you now, MJ.* her heart told, soothing the blow of reality. *He also didn't lay a hand on you all night. He held you that close and didn't even kiss you. He's not interested in you, MJ. Get over it. You sat there all morning brooding about it at the window. Just let it go. Peter Parker is interested in someone else.* her mind scolded. She turned quickly and headed to the bathroom, wanting to hide her tears.  
  
Peter sighed heavily. He sunk into a chair and buried his head in his hands. He didn't need spider powers to know she was upset. He looked heavenward, pleading for a break. First, no one wanted scrawny, nerdy, Peter Parker. Now, MJ not only falls in love with nerdy, geek Peter Parker, who he wished she'd love all his life, but with his alter ego as well. Now, he couldn't love her in return because of who he'd become. And to top it off, Amber was interested in him as well. And not even Spider-Man! Just Peter! What were the odds?! "Women..." he muttered.   
  
MJ breathed heavily, taking in whooshes of air. "Stay calm, MJ..." she whispered to herself. "No reason to get upset." But she wasn't just upset. She was a multitude of emotions at the moment: heated, angered, pissed off, hurt, betrayed, heartbroken, confused. But mostly pissed, and anything but calm. She clenched her fists, staring at herself in the mirror. She wanted to pound something into oblivion and that something just happened to be the object of her affection. "Humph..." she huffed. Just another emotion. She wanted to shout out her frustrations, pound out her anger and hurt, and cry out her sense of betrayal and heart ache.  
  
She did none.   
  
She just changed her clothes and tried to put on her happy girl, party face along with her makeup. Pretending in front of Peter was something she stopped doing a long time ago. It was apparent she shouldn't have ever wore her heart on her sleeve around him. And as much as she liked to believe that she would stop, something told her she couldn't.  
  
Braving a look in the mirror she blessed the wonders of make-up, amazed how it didn't even look as if she cried. She straightened the hem of her hooded teal sweatshirt, and pulled it over the waistband of Peter's sweat pants. Her jeans were totaled in her fall. She huffed, looking at the giant holes in the knees of the denim. They were her favorite pair too.   
  
It just wasn't her day.   
  
She stuffed the jeans into one of her shopping bags and took a deep breath. Just how she was she to pretend that she wasn't upset about his new 'friend'? "Well, you are an actress, MJ." She said to the mirror. "Just pretend it doesn't matter." She put on a smile and tested its veracity. "Not too bad..." she shrugged and headed out the bathroom door.  
  
She peered down the stair case looking for a sign of Peter. To her surprise she couldn't see him. She took a few steps down, looking into the living room but no sign there either. She assumed he was in his room, changing or something. *Or he left you all alone in the middle of a snow storm in his apartment to go play hero with Amber...*  
  
"Ugh, MJ ... get a grip..." she whispered to herself, taking the last step. She walked into the living room and turned the TV on, hoping for a weather report.  
  
Then, she turned for the kitchen to find something to satisfy her complaining stomach. At least there was something she could do about that. She searched the fridge for a second time this morning.   
  
"And looks like this weather is about to let up finally. We had a total of six feet, and two quarters of an inch. But the temperature is going to rise into the low 50's this afternoon, making the snow plower's jobs just a bit easier. Look for major roadways in Manhattan to be cleared by early evening, and those out of the city about the same time. I'll be back with your holiday and seven day outlook just a little later on. Back to you now, Sue," the TV played.  
  
MJ found some eggs buried in the back of the fridge, and to her surprise bread that wasn't stale. So eggs and toast it was.  
  
"This dismal weather hasn't seem to stop the crime in the city. There were over ten attacks and two shootouts reported last night in Manhattan alone. In Queens, an elderly couple were robbed in their own house and early reports of a serial rapist striking again in a newlywed's home have surfaced. Reports are the woman's husband, an ER doctor for Jamaica Hospital, was on call last night leaving his new bride home alone. The attacker broke in from a built up snow bank by the window and raped the young woman at knifepoint. We'll have a sketch and a phone number you can call with any information leading to his arrest after this commercial break...."  
  
MJ turned to the TV frowning. "Guess criminals never take a night off. What a horrible thing to happen ... and so close to the holidays." She shook her head in disgust and gasped when she noticed Peter, freshly changed, standing on the staircase with his eyes glued to the TV. He was frowning deeply and his usually big, bright blue eyes were dull and filled with guilt and sorrow.   
  
MJ felt her anger with him evaporate at his 'lost little boy' expression. There was no way to stay angry with him when she could see the guilt eating him up from the inside out. She had to help him.  
  
"I could've stopped that..." he shook his head glumly.  
  
"Not in Queens, no you couldn't have. Not in this weather, Peter. You may be a super-hero but you're not invincible...." MJ looked sympathetic.  
  
"I'm not a super-hero Mary Jane..." he said morosely. "I'm not even a hero."  
  
"You are too, Peter and don't you dare say differently. You saved my life more times than I can probably count on one hand. You saved tons of children, stopped numerous bank robbers, muggers, rapists, defeated the Green Goblin and you do it even with that jerk, Jonah Jameson bad mouthing you every step of the way. Don't you dare go blaming yourself for everything that happens in this city!" she pointed a finger at him vigorously. "You can't stop every crime and every thing that happens, its physically impossible ... not to mention the emotional wreck you're gonna make yourself."  
  
"I have to try though," he came down the rest of the way, coming to stand on the other side of the kitchen counter.  
  
"That's all you can do, Pete. Try. But you can't feel guilty over this...." MJ shook her head in disapproval. "It's not fair to you, or healthy."  
  
"With great power come great responsibility..." he mumbled, looking miserable.  
  
"Oh Peter, who told you such-"  
  
"Uncle Ben, and he was right! You don't know what its like to have these powers and use them the wrong way...." Peter snapped.  
  
"Whoa Tiger..." she raised her hands in defense. "I was gonna agree with it, no need to rip my head off, ok? Your uncle was right, but you're not responsible for every single person in NY or responsible for stopping every single crime in NY." She put a hand over his on the table. "You do what you can and the people respect and love you for it. They don't expect you to stop every crime, you're still human."  
  
Peter felt a rush of warmth at her touch. He sighed, wishing he could forget what he heard on the news and not feel like it was his fault. Not everyone felt as she said, but it was the ones that did that counted. Still, he knew he'd chew himself up for it worse than any other could.  
  
"Tiger, there are bad, crazy people out there in this world, and even sometimes super-heroes are defenseless against them. You're not the one out there attacking people, you're helping. There's only so much even Spider-Man can do..." she squeezed his soft skin. "You can't be Spider-Man 24 hours a day. You need a place and family to call home and time that's yours alone too. You'll go insane if you don't. Think about that..." she paused, finding his sapphire eyes. "What good will you be if you're not happy and healthy? You'll be reckless and do something stupid and dangerous..." she paused, catching her voice. "There are people who ... care ... and ... love you and don't wanna see you get hurt or worse..."  
  
He shrugged, giving just a bit. "I guess so ... but..."  
  
"Anh ah. No buts. You know 'm right," she paused, mulling over whether to continue with what she thought. She found his eyes studying her for further wisdom so she cleared her throat and continued. "Which is why 'm glad you told me the truth. You need someone to share this with. You can't keep all these emotions bottled up inside you like that. You need to talk about your feelings and what happens out there. I don't know how you went this long without telling someone. And as much as you may wanna protect me from this, I wanna be here for you. I know you won't tell me everything, and I wish you would. I wish you would tell me what makes you feel so guilty all the time. What makes you so sad and so sure you'll lose me because of who you are. I wanna know so I can help. But, I'll understand and wait till you're ready, if ever, to tell me everything. Till then, I wanna help you as much as I can, help you feel less guilty and sad." She poured her heart out, after just promising her reflection scant minutes ago she'd never do it again. Her heart belonged to him whether he'd have her or not. There was no escaping it.   
  
"I wanna be your fan club president..." she teased, bringing a small smile to both their faces. With a reassuring squeeze of his hand, she took a deep breath. "I'll stand by you, Tiger. No matter what."  
  
Peter closed his eyes, waiting for the tears building in his eyes to subside. He didn't want to cry in front of her. He didn't want her to know how much she'd touched base on, how close she came to reaching inside his being and touching every part of himself that he buried in a dark hole. He wished once again, for the millionth time that he could change things. He wished he could tell her just how responsible he was for his own uncle's death, and how responsible he felt for Norman Osborn's death. Not to mention feeling the great weight of protecting Aunt May and her from danger. It would only maximize if she became his lover. At least as just a friend, there was a way to keep her safe.   
  
He instantly felt guilty all over again at her show of support. After what had just happened earlier with his answering machine, he was amazed at how selfless she was acting. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been for telling her about Amber so detrimentally. He could've found a better way to tell her, a way that wouldn't make her assume the worst. If he could just tell her that it was she he loved, and there could never be anyone else for him...  
  
He turned his palm over, taking the hand she cupped his with, into his grasp and his thumb traced her soft skin. He checked her wounds and saw they were healing quickly. They were just minor scrapes, thank the heavens. After attempting to sidestep her speech, distracting himself with her injures, he sighed softly, knowing he'd accept her proposal to be there for him. And while he couldn't tell her everything, the thought that she'd wait to hear them lent him some comfort.   
  
He smiled as his eyes fell on her smaller hand entwined with his. It felt so right to be holding her hand. His fingers brushed her knuckles playfully. His grin grew wider when she giggled from his ministrations with his fingertips. He chuckled softly, realizing his prickly fingertips were sticking to her skin, causing a tickling sensation for her. "Sorry ... all these months and I still can't control my powers sometimes."  
  
She examined his digits with curiosity, eyes wide with astonishment. "Does it hurt?"  
  
"Nah, it feels more like shocks of static electricity when they stick..." he shook his head.  
  
She grinned. "Cool..." her voice was filled with impressive enthusiasm.  
  
He turned his hand over hers again, grasping it once more. "MJ..." he started, his voice left behind.  
  
She met his eyes, awaiting ridicule or more rejection. Anything but what he had actually said.  
  
"I'm glad..." he paused, searching his thoughts for the right words. He didn't wanna screw this up again. " ... glad I can share these things with you. I'm glad its you I can talk to about all this. Knowing I have someone I can share my thoughts and feelings with, my fears and doubts about myself with ... is gonna make what I do a lot easier..."  
  
She stared at him, her emerald eyes filled with astonishment for him once again. She smiled brightly.   
  
Suddenly, holding his hand wasn't enough for her and she needed so desperately to be closer to him. She slid around the counter, hand still gripped in his. "Tiger..." she whispered to him, looking up at him. That's all she said as she slipped her arms around his waist and planted her head on his chest. She closed her eyes, breathing in his scent deeply. Her heart nearly burst when his arms came down around her and squeezed her to him. They'd grown one step closer to each other in that moment.  
  
When she let go of him, she looked up searching his gorgeous eyes for the sign that this was ok, that they were ok. She tilted her head, wondering what the answer was.   
  
He noticed the questioning look she was giving in her eyes. He owed her an explanation about before, but he was afraid to ruin the moment. He pulled her at arms length and gripped her wrists in his hands gently. "MJ ... about before..."  
  
She looked down, afraid of what she might here. "Look, Pete ... you don't owe me any more of an explanation than I owed you about what happened with Spider-Man..."  
  
"'Cept I know what happened with Spidey. MJ, please just listen for a minute..." he asked more than demanded.  
  
"It's ok Peter..." she shook his hands off, going to her eggs and bread. "Really..."  
  
"Mary Jane..." he stalked over, and turned her into his arms again. Part of him screamed out, *Tell her she's the only one you could ever love! Tell her she's your everything! Tell her you want to be with her!* But of course, he settled for less. "It's not like what you think."  
  
"And what do I think Pete?" she raised a brow.  
  
"That Amber is more than a friend. That when I told you I couldn't be with you because of Spidey that it was just an excuse..."  
  
"You really are smart Peter..." she tsked. Then she did it. She put on her actress face and she flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked at him with defiance in her green eyes. "I don't care who you are interested in dating."  
  
It was Peter's turn to raise his eyebrows at her. Whether she was being truthful or not, was hard to tell. He had a hunch she was full of it. He'd seen that expression on her face before. He'd seen it when she looked at Flash, or Harry, trying to pretend what they said to her deep down didn't matter, that it didn't hurt. "All the same..." he said softly. "I wanna explain. She's new and I wanted to help her out. You know how Jameson is, and she's a freelancer. Being one, I know where she's coming from. So, when Jameson got on her about her story, I cheered her up. That's all. I was being polite. I can't help whether or not she liked me. She asked me to lunch in a friendly manner..."  
  
"Cutie?" she threw at him.  
  
He blushed. "Well, having women attracted to me is all new for me, MJ. Remember, school nerd here?" he raised his hand as if he were back in high school answering a question. And of course he had always had the answers back then. "I was so worried about fighting with you that I kinda just answered 'uh huh' to all her questions."  
  
MJ crossed her arms, seeming unconvinced.   
  
"She's just a nice girl that's all! She asked me to lunch to read some of her work." He informed. "I told you. I can't be with anyone. Spider-Man's not allowed that luxury. It's too unfair and too dangerous."  
  
"That all that's stopping you?" she asked, cracking open the eggs into the frying pan. "Sunny side up?"   
  
"No ... nothing's stopping me. I mean, I don't wanna be anything more than friends with her...."  
  
"How can you be sure? She's new you said?"  
  
"Because I'm sure," *Because it's you I love. It's you I wanna be with.* "Yeah to the eggs."  
  
"So what if you weren't Spider-Man?" she cracked open more eggs.  
  
"Than you wouldn't be here with me right now, and I'd still be a geeky nerd with big glasses and I'd be working for Doc Connors and I'd never have met Amber. You'd never have fallen in love with Spider-Man or me and..." he trailed off. *Uncle Ben would still be alive.* Aside from MJ loving him, he'd trade it all in for Uncle Ben to be alive.   
  
He'd also still be desperately in love with a woman he could never have.   
  
That never changed.   
  
How bitterly ironic.   
  
"What about you? I'd bet you'd still be with Harry if it weren't for Spidey..." he grasped her arm, turning her attention away from cooking.  
  
MJ snorted. "No ... one meeting with Norman Osborn is enough to kill you."  
  
Peter shook his head. *How right you are.*  
  
"Besides..." she whipped around out of his grasp, finding the toaster. "I still would've fallen in love with you. Eventually..." she replied sharply.  
  
"You think so?"   
  
"Don't you believe in fate, Peter?" she slipped the toast into the toaster.  
  
"I've seen too much to believe in anything but making what you can of life and taking each decision as it comes to you. Not depending on fate..." he answered.  
  
"So why do you depend on fate to bring us together now. Make the most of what you can, Tiger ... with me ... with us..." she pleaded.  
  
He sighed, walking right into her trap. *Smarter than you think MJ.* "I am, MJ. You're my friend, we're friends. " he walked over to the coffee pot.   
  
"Yeah ... yeah we are..." she answered, flipping the eggs. "Just like you and Amber."  
  
He set the coffee pot down hard after pouring a mug full. "Ok, fine! Will it make you happy if you came with us? So you can see Amber's not interested in me? You can come along."  
  
*Gee thanks Pete.* she muttered to herself. Then ... this could be just what she needed to get over that annoying girl's phone call or see if she was right about her. "Good, it'll be fun. I'll bring some of my modeling photos. We can all swap..." she teased.  
  
"Mary Jane..."  
  
"I mean it. I'd like to come... Hey you never know. We may just turn out to be friends," MJ winked flipping their eggs onto a plate.  
  
Peter groaned, wondering what he'd gotten himself into.  
  
"Breakfast is served, Tiger," she put a plate of eggs and toast in front of him.  
  
He sighed, stomach rumbling. He decided to give up the argument. "A guy could get used to this ya know?" he lifted his mug to sip. But something warned him to pause.   
  
Not spider sense but common sense.  
  
"A gal would love to wake up every morning and get you used to this...and other things..." she flirted.  
  
"MJ, you vixen you..." he put his cup down. "Didn't catch me this time."  
  
"Next time Tiger ... there's always a next time." She warned.   
  
*****  
  
  



	9. Well, More Like Wavering

ok, well you guys waited so long for an update I couldn't resist giving ya one more chapter. :) Tho, it is pretty short and yes, much sap and angst again. I know, 'm such a drama queen *drawls* but I promise we'll have some action again in Ch.10 Hope you enjoy and again, remember read and review!! Make my world a shiny happy place in which I dwell ;)   
**  
  
Chapter 9: Well, More Like Wavering...**  
  
_I am here to tell you we can never meet again  
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then  
  
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when  
You think of me, or speak of me, or wonder what befell  
The someone you once loved so long ago, so well  
  
Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by  
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply  
  
Every moment of my life from now until I die  
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand  
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand  
  
Is it written in the stars  
Are we paying for some crime  
Is that all that we are good for  
Just a stretch of mortal time  
  
Is this God's experiment  
In which we have no say  
In which we're given paradise  
But only for a day  
  
Nothing can be altered, oh, there is nothing to decide  
No escape, no change of heart, no any place to hide   
  
You are all I'll ever want but this I am denyin'  
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts I wish I never learned  
What it is to be in love and have that love returned  
  
Is it written in the stars  
Are we paying for some crime  
Is that all that we are good for  
Just a stretch of mortal time  
  
Is this God's experiment {God's experiment}  
In which we have no say {In which we have now say}  
In which we're given paradise {If only for a day}  
But only for a day  
  
{Is it written in the stars}  
{Are we paying for some crime}  
{Is that all that we are good for}  
{Just a stretch of mortal time}  
  
Is this God's experiment {God's experiment}  
In which we have no say {In which we have now say}  
In which we're given paradise {If only for a day}  
But only for a day  
_  
Hours later MJ groaned in protest, chin resting on her hand.   
  
Peter matched her groan with one of his own. "MJ ... its been twenty minutes. You gotta make a decision. I mean, either you can or you can't."   
  
"Weeelllll...." she whined. "I'm trying..."  
  
"Try harder!" he huffed impatiently.  
  
"Look! This was your idea, ok?!" she grumbled, pointing at him with a menacing glare.  
  
"Ok, lemme help you then!" he demanded but didn't move from the floor.  
  
"No!" she squealed and used her hands to cover up.  
  
"Ugh!" he slapped his hand to his forehead. "It's just a game MJ, c'mon..." he pleaded, collapsing back and sprawling out on the rug near the coffee table.  
  
MJ sat on the other side of the table, across the game board. "That would be cheating..." she argued, looking at her rack distractedly. "Just gimme a minute..."  
  
"I already gave you twenty, what's one more!" he threw his hands up in protest.  
  
MJ chewed her lip staring with concentration at the tiled letters lined on the wooden rack in front of her. She sighed, frowning. The letters spelled out:  
  
HE LUVS U   
  
"Ok, lemme see!" he sat up, patience at an end and reached across the table for her rack.  
  
She smacked his hand away. "No!"  
  
"Mary Jane!" he whined. "Its been over twenty minutes and you've gotta decide already. It's only Scrabble, not a life or death situation."  
  
"Ok fine Mr. Impatient," she knocked her rack over, scrambling the letters. "Lets see you make a word outta these letters!"  
  
Peter came around the table, shaking his head with a grin. "Sore loser..."  
  
She stood up, going to look at the Christmas tree. She watched him pick the rack up and start lining up the letters. "Can't we play something else?" she asked, playing with a branch.  
  
"Like what? We've already been through every board game I own..." he answered, distracted by his task.  
  
She toyed with an ornament. "How bout truth or dare?"   
  
"Uh.. no..." he answered quickly.  
  
"What? Too risque?" she teased.   
  
When he didn't answer, she grinned. "K... how bout a movie?"  
  
"VCR's broke..." he shifted some tiles.  
  
"Peter Parker, class genius can't fix his own broken VCR?" she teased.  
  
"Its fried," he answered simply, almost indignant.  
  
"How bout video games?"   
  
He actually stopped to look at her, raising his brows. "You like video games?"  
  
"Sure, why not?" she crossed her arms, meeting his gaze.  
  
He put the L tile in front of the U tile and stopped to look and see what he'd do next. "Well, cuz you're a girl."  
  
She laughed. "Thanks for noticing, Pete."  
  
He rolled his eyes, putting the H tile in front of the E.   
  
"We could talk..." she came over to sit on the couch.  
  
"Bout what?" he frowned, looking at the tiles.  
  
She looked over his shoulder at the tiles. She bit her lip. *Uh oh...* Hoping to distract him she flipped her hair and cleared her throat.  
  
He turned his head to look at her. His breath caught in his throat when he caught sight of her. She was sprawled across the couch, smiling playfully and eyes sparkling with mischief. Waves of ruby hair fell over her shoulder and cascaded across her face. He tilted his head taking in all her beauty. It was almost as if she were posing for him. He smiled at her. "Yes?"  
  
"Well..." she demanded.  
  
"Am I missing something here?" he chuckled, eyes back on the tiles.   
  
"I figured I could practice some of my modeling poses, since we've nothing better to do. And you are a photographer. Not to mention a guy. You tell me what's attractive and what's not..." MJ sat up again. She looked at the tiles desperately. He was so close to spelling out what she had spelt out before. "What about this one?" she gripped his shoulder, turning him to look at her as she tilted her head, arms tucked under her chin.  
  
"You look like you're trying to sleep standing up..." he joked. "Now c'mon I've almost got this."  
  
"Pete ... why don't you just leave it be..." she sighed, deflated.  
  
Peter ignored her as he picked up the second U tile and placed it at the end. He stopped moving, shocked by what he managed to make of the tiles.  
  
HE LUVS U   
  
It stared back at him plain as day.   
  
Behind him MJ shifted on the couch.   
  
"This what had you so stumped?" he muttered softly.  
  
When she didn't answer, he turned around slowly. His eyes sought hers and he frowned at her saddened expression.  
  
She avoided eye contact with him, fidgeting with the zipper of her sweatshirt.  
  
He turned back to the rack and stared at it indignantly. He knocked the letters over and reached over the table to grab his rack of letters. He dumped the bag full of lettered tiles onto the table and began picking them out and placing them on the racks.  
  
MJ watched him in confusion as he set up the racks and tiles.  
  
"Close your eyes." Peter told her.  
  
"Huh? Why?"  
  
"Just trust me," he replied.  
  
She did as he asked and took a deep breath. "Ok..."  
  
Peter stared at his work and wondered if this was such a good idea. His gut told him he was gonna regret it, but his heart told him this was right. It was the least he could do. He picked up the first rack and turned from his spot on the floor to face the couch. "Open your eyes."  
  
MJ opened her eyes and found herself staring at him holding a rack of tiles. She read:  
  
SMILE MJ   
  
Then he turned and grabbed another rack, turning slowly so they didn't spill over.  
  
Her heart pounded in anticipation, until the rack was in her view.  
  
THE TILES NEVER LIE  
  
She looked into his eyes, her heart threatened to stop.   
  
And once more he turned and brought her the words he couldn't say for fear of protecting her.  
  
XOXO   
  
She beamed brightly, giggling gently at his sweet suggestion and let out a gasp as her eyes watered over.  
  
Peter looked at the tiles then at her. "Triple word score, with two X's... Think I win the game..." he smiled, speaking softly.  
  
His wonderful voice made her ears tingle and her heart fill with warmth. She laughed lightly, wiping at the tears in her eyes.  
  
She reached out and brushed back a strand of his hair from those pools of blue. "You've won more than that, Mr. Parker..." her voice cracked.  
  
He leaned into her caress, relishing in her very touch. He closed his eyes, and bowed his head. He only wished she was right. He only wished he could have her; to hold her, kiss her, cherish every inch of her. He felt a tear run down his face and he knew he couldn't hold them in any longer.  
  
She heard him cry softly and it caught her by surprise. She understood this small confession was to keep her from hurting, from wondering what he thought of her. It wasn't one that broke the barrier between them. It wasn't one that let him love her as much as he wanted it or she wanted it. He cried because he wanted to tell her so bad himself and he just couldn't. Not today anyway.  
  
"I know, Tiger..." she ran her hand through his hair, comforting him. "I understand."  
  
He looked up, his crystal blues filled with tears. He was almost sure her expression mirrored his and he gritted his teeth and swallowed hard. *One day MJ, you'll be happy again. One day you'll find someone who can love you no holds barred. I only wish that could be me. But, it won't. It can't. I'm so sorry....* he let out a soft burst of tears.  
  
MJ pushed his head into her lap and stroked his hair lovingly. She fought valiantly against the tears threatening to bubble over but in the end the tears won. She put her forehead into his soft hair and wept.  
  
********  
  
She watched from the doorway of his bedroom as he slipped on his gloves and turned to her. She gave a half smile.  
  
"Ready?" he asked.  
  
She nodded gathering her bags silently.  
  
"You sure you don't wanna ... stay?" he offered.  
  
"I ..." she lowered her eyes, fiddling with the handle of one bag. "I can't. I have work tomorrow and a meeting with my agent." *You know I can't stay, Pete. It's too hard on the both of us.*   
  
He nodded in understanding. "Lemme see those bags. Don't want them to break on us." He webbed each up tightly, sealing them. "It'll dissolve in an hour or so."  
  
She shook her head in wonder. "I won't ask how you do it."  
  
"I'll tell you one day..." he chuckled softly. He slipped his mask over his head and pulled it down, covering his neck. He opened the balcony window and turned, arms outstretched. "Your carriage awaits madam..." he bowed.  
  
She gave a soft smile and stepped out into the brisk night air.  
  
********   
  
They swung high above the city, the cold wind whipping past them at a great speed.   
  
MJ had her head tucked into his neck, shielding her face from the sting of the frigid temperature.  
  
When her building came into sight, he swung lower towards her balcony. He gasped softly, looking at the giant mound of snow built up on her balcony. "Hang on tight, Mary Jane! Gonna be a rough landing in all this snow!" he shouted over the whipping wind.  
  
She nodded and squeezed tighter.  
  
Peter dipped lower quickly, lifting her high up as he did. Then he planted his feet low into the snow bank so she wouldn't feel the impact. Unfortunately, landing gracefully in six feet of snow was impossible and they plowed into the snow bank. Peter managed to twist his body so he would hit first and hardest. The snow cushioned their impact slightly, but he still let out a little moan when her weight hit him square in the chest.  
  
MJ was the first one to sit up, laughing to her surprise. "Well, that was fun!" she grinned over at him. He was still laying in the cold snow, emanating a small moan of pain.   
  
Peter sat up slowly, smiling under his mask. "One day we'll get it right." He looked over to her. "You ok?"  
  
"I'm ok, are you?" she attempted to stand.  
  
He hopped up quickly, helping her right herself. "Spider's unlike cat's don't always land on their feet, but 'll live."  
  
"Good thing you webbed up my presents," she said, arms outstretched with bags hanging from each. "Can you find my keys in my coat pocket?"  
  
He reached in and found the set of keys she asked for. Then he unlocked the balcony door and a pile of snow fell in with them.  
  
"Thanks..." she sighed, stepping right over the mound now present in her bedroom. She was too cold and tired to care. She placed her bags down beside her bed before she slipped her coat off and shivered. "The heat's not on. Gina must have stayed at the hospital all night..." she went to the dial controlling the temperature in her room. She turned it up higher and turned to Spider-Man.   
  
"Can I get you anything? Coffee?" her teeth chattered.  
  
"Nah... I should get out there right away..." Peter answered. Yet there was no incline from his spider sense that danger was anywhere near.  
  
"Oh... ok..." she wrapped her arms around herself. "Be careful, please..."  
  
He nodded gently. "I will."  
  
"Stop by if you get cold and need to warm up or anything..." she offered.  
  
"Thanks... I'll remember that..." he didn't make a move to leave though.  
  
"Thanks for last night and today..." she smiled.   
  
He nodded again.  
  
"Will I... see you again soon?" she asked.  
  
"I'll be in the neighborhood..." he promised.  
  
"I'll be waiting for you," she smiled, a double meaning behind her words.  
  
"Take care, Mary Jane," he opened the door.  
  
She took a step closer to him. "Bye, Spider-Man..." she whispered to him.   
  
He stood there, wanting to hug her close so desperately, it made his heart ache. Instead, he just reached out a finger and traced her cheekbone quickly. Then he leapt out into the snow, shot a web-line across the sky and was off into the night.  
  
She closed the door and stood watching him till he was gone from the horizon. "Bye Tiger...  
  
  



	10. The Widow Strikes

A/N:Hey y'all, yes I know, 'm such a bad bad bad lil author for making y'all wait soooo long once again for a new chapter!!! And I really do know how much it sucks waiting when you're really into a story. All I can say is I remained flattered by those who truly enjoy and love this story and continue to review and email asking when I'll update. If you guys didn't keep pestering I truly doubt we woulda made it thus far. So please continue to hound me and I will produce as often as I can. I will be including song title and artists from now on since each chapter does begin with a song. Enjoy!  
  
I thought this song was fitting for this chapter since its Widow Maker's first real appearance and I thought the lyrics fit her thoughts and perhaps would better explain her rash behavior i.e. psychotic tendancies a bit further. I guess you could best describe her as being captured by her train of thoughts and that train ran away with her. Kinda reminded me of the chic who was just on the mtv spider-man who was obsessed with him... ok now 'm babbling, just read and you'll understand 'm sure. ;)  
  
Evanescence- Going Under  
  
Chapter 10: The Widow Strikes  
  
Now I will tell you what I've done for you  
50 thousand tears I've cried  
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you  
And you still won't hear me  
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself  
Maybe I'll wake up for once  
Not tormented daily defeated by you  
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom  
I'm dying again  
  
I'm going under  
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through  
I'm going under  
  
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies  
So I don't know what's real and what's not  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore  
I'm dying again  
  
I'm going under  
Drowning in you  
I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through  
  
So go on and scream  
Scream at me I'm so far away  
I won't be broken again  
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under  
  
It was early afternoon the next day when Peter finally stepped back into the Daily Bugle building. He went about his usual routine, which consisted of pouring a cup of coffee and having a talk with Ben and Betty about the latest news. Their talks were often beneficial to his work, leading him to important news events and photographs for Jonah. At the same time, he was also presented with the more than likely chance for Spidey to get involved in situations where his assistance was required. But with Christmas only two days away, and the amount of snowfall left on the ground within the city and without, there was little news of which to speak.  
  
Instead they settled for discussing holidays plans: what they had to give Jameson and how he'd ungraciously grumble about it no matter what the gift, their holiday bonus from Scrooge himself, and the annual Christmas party.  
  
"JJ's first wish on his Christmas list has gotta be getting Spider-Man unmasked ..." Ben chuckled, as he sat on the break room table.  
  
"With a big red bow?" Betty added with a chuckle of her own.  
  
Peter smiled goofily. "Yeah, and I have a real job instead of freelancing..."  
  
"Another impossible dream 'm afraid son," Ben shook his head in a mixture of disgust and dissapointment. He looked around to make sure no one was listening. "If it were up to me, 'd replace Brock with you any day. Brock's got no talent...."  
  
"And he never catches Spider-Man's good side," Betty teased.  
  
Peter laughed before biting into a donut.   
  
"That's reserved for our talented Mr. Parker..." a feminine voice proclaimed, coming from behind Peter.  
  
All three heads turned at once to see who had joined them.  
  
"Hi everyone," Amber smiled joyfully.   
  
Peter's mouth would've hung wide open if he wasn't chewing the donut.   
  
Amber was looking quite stunning, wearing a festive red business skirt and an off-white blouse with a green wreath pin. Her hair was half tied back, streaks of shock white blonde standing out amongst the other golden tendrils. Her dark eyes smoldered in contrast to her glossy pink lips.   
  
"Ms. Dieson..." Betty nodded curtly. She turned her head back to Peter, raising her chin in annoyance at the interruption.  
  
"Afternoon ma'am," Ben smiled warmly. "How are you today?"  
  
Peter was intrigued by Betty's polite, yet brief acknowledgment of Amber. Now, he knew full well Betty was one who had to warm up to someone before she welcomed you to their tight knit circle of DB friends. Peter remembered she wasn't exactly a good friend of his at first, but she'd always been warm and kind, much like Ben. What was it about Amber that made her so curt? Was she bothered by Amber's beauty? Betty was a little older herself, but definitely a beautiful woman. Pete mulled the thought over in his head as he finished up his jelly-filled pastry.  
  
"I'm well, thank you, Ben..." she smiled prettily for the elder man. "I'm already over Jameson's harsh attitude. You guys were right; he is just the same with everyone. I shouldn't be discouraged by his ... constructive... although rude ... criticism." she stood beside Peter. "Peter cheered me up the other day. It was very sweet of him." Amber placed a hand on his shoulder in appreciation. "He taught me to use Jameson's criticism as a tool to produce better work."   
  
Betty watched the manicured hand resting on her friend's shoulder with scrutiny.   
  
"Just glad I could help," Peter shrugged, blushing a bit.  
  
"How nice...." Betty drawled, arms crossed. "If you all will excuse me, my break is over. I have a few errands to take care of for Mr. Jameson before I head out." She smiled at Ben, touching his arm before planting a friendly kiss on his cheek. "If I don't see you later, have a good holiday, Ben. Say hello to the wife and kids."  
  
"You do the same now, Miss Brant." Ben answered with a chipper grin.  
  
"Peter..." Betty grinned, stepping up to give him a kiss and hug. "Happy holidays, dear. Tell the same to your Aunt and that nice woman, Mary Jane, you told me about." Betty glared over his shoulder at Amber, who currently had a look of anger in her eyes until she noticed Betty was watching her. "Maybe you can stop by my desk before you head out, Peter."   
  
"Ok..." he said clueless to as what she'd want. He did notice she was glaring at Amber. "Later Betty..."  
  
"Well," Ben looked at his watch. "No news is good news sometimes eh, Parker? Think I finally understand that now." He huffed, hands in his pockets. "Got a half day cuz of it," he chuckled, patting his blazer pockets. "Best go start my Christmas shopping."  
  
"You mean finish don't you Ben?" Amber smiled sweetly.  
  
"No...no...start..." Ben assured, fishing out a pack of cigarettes from his inside pocket and grinning before leaving the two younger workers alone.  
  
"I'm a little surprised Peter," Amber started once they were alone.  
  
"By?" Peter questioned as he stirred his freshly poured coffee.  
  
"You never called me back. You'd make a girl think you weren't interested in a free lunch!" Amber teased, elbowing him gently. She watched him squirm from the corner of her eye as she set a tea bag into an empty mug.   
  
He chuckled nervously. He could feel his skin getting hot and he was sure his cheeks were as red as his costume. "Uh yeah, sorry Amber ... with the storm and all... I was busy."  
  
"Oh, that's ok. I'm only teasing..." she poured a cup of steaming water into the mug.  
  
"Glad you're feeling renewed after the other day with Jameson though," he reissued, hoping to leave the previous conversation behind.  
  
"Well, thank you," she leaned against the table, comfortably. "I am. I wrote a new story about that rape attack in Queens the other night."  
  
Peter nodded, recalling the dismal story from TV.  
  
"Poor woman, men like that deserve the cruelest punishment possible," she replied coldly, her hands tightening around her mug.  
  
Peter felt his spider sense tingle at the nape of his neck. He furrowed his brow in confusion. He looked to Amber and her eyes were filled with irritation and her lips were pursed together in a scowl. The grip she had on her mug made her knuckles turn white.  
  
"Some men will stop at nothing to hurt women, and it's just not fair. They attack us when we don't want them, reject us when we pour out hearts out to them. We give and love so much and do everything for them. We just wanna love them and take care of them. Then they cheat on us, or claim to love someone else. It's all crap I tell you. Men just continously hurt us, turn us against each other and we're supposed to just take it? I don't think so." She growled. "We'll have our revenge..."  
  
Peter was taken back by her ferocity. Perhaps Amber had been hurt in the past? It was good to feel passionate about a story you were working on, but maybe she's too close to this. Though, it wasn't his job to tell her what story to work on. He supposed any woman would be upset covering a story like that. He remembered the look on Mary Jane's face during the report, and hers was not a pleasant one either. But Amber seemed beyond angry. She looked downright fierce. As if it was she who was attacked.   
  
He frowned with sympathy. "You ok?"  
  
She seemed stuck in a daze. "Huh?"  
  
"Uh... maybe you should cover something else for the Bugle. You look like you're taking this to heart too much," Peter suggested.  
  
"Well, of course. She's a fellow woman..." Amber shrugged it off, then she smiled brightly. "I'm fine, thanks for worrying. You really are a sweetie."  
  
"No problem..." he answered unsure of what else to say.  
  
"So how 'bout that lunch today?" Amber gripped his arm.   
  
Her eyes were soft and her smile was tender again, as if all that anger and tension radiating off of her magically disappeared.   
  
Peter swallowed hard, thinking of what to say. Then something logical and truthful popped into his head. "I don't have time for a lunch break today, sorry. I have some last minute shopping to do and film developing in the darkroom before I go."  
  
"Aw, that stinks. Maybe tomorrow or after Christmas then?" she offered. "I'm free ... well 'm free during Christmas too..." she shrugged with a sad laugh.  
  
"No family?" he touched her shoulder, sympathetically.  
  
She shook her head, feigning indifference. "No."  
  
"No special someone?" he pryed, hoping she'd say yes so he could prove to MJ that she was just being friendly.  
  
She chuckled bitterly. "No, Peter," she looked down, frowning. "I'm all alone."  
  
He felt his heart twist with guilt. "Don't say that..."  
  
"Least I save a bundle on presents," she sighed, trying to perk up.. "Oh, speaking of..." she lit up brightly. "I have something for you."  
  
"For me?" he raised his brows.  
  
"It's nothing special, just something to say thank you for being so nice to me," she explained.  
  
"Amber..." he was speechless.  
  
"Now, don't worry, I don't want anything in return. I just wanted to do something nice for someone. Its been so long since I could," she jogged off to her makeshift desk. All the freelancers had small, folding table desks and folding chairs in a small corner of the Bugle they were permitted to use.  
  
Peter watched her grab a well-sized box wrapped in silver and gold trims and carry it over to him. He felt a mixture of guilt, surprise, happiness and sadness all at once. "Wow..." he shook his head. "Amber I couldn't..."  
  
"You have to..." she shoved it at him forcefully. Then she smiled. "I'd be so hurt if you didn't accept it."  
  
Peter was taken back by her force. "Well, ok..." he placed it on the table and began unwrapping it. Once the wrapping was removed, a white box was revealed and Peter peeled the lid off, looking inside. He gasped softly, pulling out his present.  
  
A dark brown leather camera case with his initials engraved in bright blue on the side stared back at him.   
  
"Amber..." he fingered the supple leather. "Wow... I..."  
  
"There's sheepskin inside too..." she unzipped the bag to show him. Her face was alight with happiness.  
  
"This is too much Amber. I... don't know what to say...wow...." he grinned.  
  
"Think nothing of it. A friend of mine works in a camera store," she revealed.  
  
"Thank you... I love it..." he put it down gently, as if it were made of glass.  
  
She threw her arms around him and squeezed him close. "I"m so happy you like it!"   
  
Peter was again in shock at her outburst and strength. He hugged her back, unable to help noticing she smelled of cherries and lavender. Her hair felt like spun silk against his cheek. He closed his eyes wondering what he was getting himself into.   
  
From across the room, Betty Brant stood at her desk, glaring with a mix of concern and worry in her eyes at Peter and Amber. Her eyes looked down at the old newspaper article in her hand. The headline read:  
  
HUSBAND GRIEVING MURDERED WIFE, MISTRESS THE PRIME SUSPECT TURNS UP MISSING  
  
The picture below the headline was of a young teen with blonde hair and strikingly similar facial features to Amber.  
  
**********  
  
Peter hurried down the busy streets of Broadway, dodging in and out of panic-stricken shoppers way. With the new Toys R Us on the corner of Broadway and Times Square, all the parents were rushing for last minute presents from Santa. Peter, on the other hand, was headed in the opposite direction which created some crazy pedestrian traffic as he attempted to avoid those frenzy parents.   
  
Although, his goal was much the same as theirs, find a present before time ran out. He hadn't purposefully waited to the last minute to shop, but there was one last thing he wanted to get for Mary Jane. And he felt obligated to get something for Amber, not only because she had bought him a present, but because he felt she deserved something nice. He also felt so guilty that he'd winded up inviting her to Aunt May's house for Christmas dinner. When had he turned into such a sucker? It wasn't until after he'd offered that he remembered MJ would be there as well. But then, he remembered Harry was also invited and maybe he could get Amber interested in Harry. That is, if Harry was over MJ himself. Peter rolled his eyes at the predicament he put them all in. What a dinner this was going to turn out to be! It had all the ingredients for reality tv programming at its best.   
  
He only hoped MJ would understand why he invited Amber and not think of it as something more. Amber sure was beautiful, charming, and sweet, not to mention intelligent and funny, but there was no one for him but Mary Jane. Peter smiled at the thought. Yes, no one could dare compare to her. She was his perfect redheaded angel. He'd love her forever and he'd cherish her every moment he lived.   
  
But he would cherish and love from afar. Because to give her his love was like feeding her poison. And for a few precious moments today, worrying about MJ's feelings and Amber's feelings towards him were his most dreadful concerns and it actually felt good compared to worrying if someone's life was in danger or if he'd make it on time to stop a robbery or an attack.  
  
Just for a moment he felt like a regular guy with everyday concerns. Someone who was not so different from everyone else. He felt that way with MJ yesterday and the day before. She made him feel whole, complete inside and out. She made all the bad stuff seem more tolerable, all the aches and pains he felt more bearable. He felt happy and excited to be near her. She loved to laugh and live and love. And he missed feeling that way.  
  
But he wasn't free to laugh and live and certainly not to love. He was obligated to his duty, to his promise to Uncle Ben and to his vow to keep her safe and alive. With great power, there must come great responsibility! There was those ever true words once again.  
  
With those thoughts running uncontrollably through his mind everyday since she told him that she loved him, he was sure to drive himself insane. He tried to push them aside long enough to find the gift he wanted for her before he chickened out. He'd kept the same frame of mind that he had yesterday when he put those tiles together to tell her, in a subtle way, that he loved her right back. It couldn't hurt to let her know, could it? Just as long as they didn't act on it.   
  
He groaned at his own stupidity. How could it not hurt?! He'd known for a month now how she felt and he couldn't act on it and it ached him to a numbness in his heart. Worse off, he'd loved her for so long, before he even liked girls! They grew up next to each other, he watched her grow more beautiful and further away from him each day. Now that she loved him too, he knew it was far worse off to love each other and not be together, than for him to just ache for her love in return.   
  
She was too good to be second best to his duty as Spider-Man. She was worth more than that. She deserved the best of everything and she deserved a man who could be at her side all the time. Not someone who was running off at all hours of the day and night to fulfill a duty he bestowed upon himself with this great power and the responsibility that came with it.   
  
Of course, MJ would probably answer that with something like, "That's what makes you who you are and I love all of you. I'll stand by you."   
  
Peter envied her strength in love. He didn't hold such belief in love to see you through everything anymore. After all, the one person who loved him most and who he loved was gone because of him. Uncle Ben... He couldn't deal with the grief of losing her the same way.  
  
His love was like a kiss of death and MJ was too precious to him for such a horrid fate. Maybe that was what Gobby was trying to tell him in his nightmare...   
  
He wondered if just withdrawing from life itself as Peter wasn't such a bad idea. Aunt May and MJ would be safe, he'd have no weaknesses then. There was no one to love him, no one for him to love... He felt as if Spider-Man ruled his life and all his decisions already, what would the difference be? The hurting would stop. MJ would go on with her life, Aunt May would be safe.   
And if he remained the sliver of himself that was Peter? Aunt May would still have a child that was like her son, Harry a best friend and for MJ, someone who she loved and could never love her in return.  
  
Did he even know how to be Peter anymore? Did he know what it was like to wake in the morning to a shower and breakfast, to go to work, and come home to dinner, TV and friends and then sleep? MJ gave him a taste of that recently and as good as it felt, he knew it wasn't the life he could live.  
  
And as a reminder, his spider sense went off like a gunshot to his nerves. He looked around, searching out the danger that reminded him once again who he'd become and what his life was really all about now. He couldn't see any danger, but his spider sense told him it was close enough to make his entire head buzz. He dodged into an alley behind a huge snow bank, changing into Spider-Man.  
  
Emerging from the alley, he hopped onto the building closest to him and wall crawled to the roof. He searched the city until he heard a cry of terror from behind him. He spun quickly, jumping from the building. He soared into the air landing on another rooftop. He looked down and saw a woman trying to fend off a muscular man with a knife. Another man was sprawled on the ground, apparently knocked out.  
  
"Just gimme your damn wallet lady, or your friend here gets his insides carved out like Christmas dinner!!" the man threatened, gripping her wrists.  
  
She cried for help as he knocked her down, snatching her bag as she fell. She crawled to her fallen guy friend and wept fiercely. "You got what you wanted, now leave us alone!" she pleaded.  
  
"Not a chance," he rummaged through her wallet, searching for money. "For all the trouble you caused me, I should slit both your throats..."  
  
Spidey leapt into action. He landed on a garbage dumpster directly in front of the fallen couple and he glared at the robber. "Now is that anyway to spread the holiday cheer?!"  
  
"Ugh! Spider-Man!" the burly man growled.  
  
"Huh? Where, where?!" Spidey looked left and right quickly. "Darn, and I forgot my autograph book at home! I hope he's as dreamy as everyone says he is?" Spidey sighed.  
  
"You're insane!!" the man snorted, eyes wide in surprise.  
  
"I may just be...." Spidey shrugged indifferently. "I'd be insane to offer you a chance to walk away in one piece too..."  
  
The mugger looked left, then right, attempting a plan to escape. "It's Christmas man... I needed a few extra bucks..." he chuckled nervously, backing away. "Can't blame a broke guy can ya?"  
  
"Hmmm, and slitting their throats would have put you right on Santa's naughty list..." he t-sked. "Besides, you won't have to worry bout Christmas where you're going. I'm sure one of your new girlfriend's will be happy to give you a... present..." Spidey wisecracked.  
  
The mugger made one last futile attempt at escape, but Spidey leaped on him quickly. He thrust his knife at Spider-Man but he dodged it with a warning from his spider sense. The mugger growled in frustration and attempted a second swipe.  
  
Spidey gripped the mugger's wrist and pried the offending object from his grasp. "Now didn't your mother teach you not to play with utensils?" Spidey grabbed his other wrist, trying to hold him down. Despite his overpowering strength, the mugger struggled. He sent a kick into Spidey's ribs that threw him off balance momentarily.  
  
Once Spidey was off of him, he got to his feet and threw another kick into the side of him.   
  
"Go to hell you costumed freak!" he growled, running away like a mad man.  
  
Spidey leaped to his feet, shooting a strand of webbing at the mugger. He snagged the back of the man and pulled hard. "Don't run away!" As he said it the mugger continued to run in place, looking like a dog trying to escape a leash. Spidey turned to the fallen woman who was busy trying to wake the man. "I hate it when they do that..." he said to her.  
  
She gave him a moment of brief attention. "Please, he has my money! I need that money!"  
  
"Have no fear ma'am... I've got this new bait I've been dying to try out and looks like I snagged a 200 pounder...." Spidey pulled hand over hand on the webbing attached to the mugger. "It's all in the wrist, really..." he continued to reel the man in. Now he was helplessly flailing on the floor much like a fish out of water.  
  
The mugger pounded on the floor, screaming. "Lemme go you spider freak!"  
  
"Flattery won't get you anywhere unless you're a gorgeous woman!" Spidey grunted, lifting the heavy man to his feet. He dug into his pocket, pulling out the stolen money and credit cards. Then he webbed up the man from his neck down. "Now, you be a good boy and wait for the boys in blue...."  
  
"You'll pay for this you rotten son of a........"  
  
Spidey squirted his mouth with a glob of webbing. "Put a sock in it will you?" He turned his back from the helpless mugger. He noticed the man was awake now, his head in the woman's lap.  
  
"Oh Roger, thank God you're ok!" the woman smiled, brushing his hair back.  
  
"Emily..." he sat up quickly. He put a hand to his pounding head. "Oh, Emily! I was so scared I lost you! I couldn't bare the thought! I can't go a minute longer pretending! Emily, this could've ended so differently, and this has made me realize that I can't waste anymore time!"  
  
"Roger?" she tilted her head in confusion. "What are you saying?" her eyes fell on the hands now grasping her arms.  
  
"Emily, I love you! I loved you since the day we met! I'm tired of pretending to just be a friend. I want so much more with you! Emily, you mean the world to me and I can't bare another day without you being my lover!" Roger confessed his eyes wide with fear of her reaction.  
  
"Oh..." she closed her eyes.   
  
Spidey cringed.   
  
"Roger, I can't believe this..." she opened her eyes. Then beamed brightly. "Roger I love you too!" she pulled him into a hug. "I waited so long, hoping and wishing that you felt this way..." she giggled happily. "I love you too!!"  
  
"Oh Emily!" he laughed, pulling back just far enough to kiss her.  
  
Spidey couldn't help but smile and blush under his mask. He also couldn't help the bitter irony of the situation before him. He cleared his throat after a few blissful moments. "Ahem..."  
  
They broke apart, looking at Spider-Man shyly.  
  
"Thank you Spider-Man!" the man stood, reaching out to shake his hand.  
  
"Wow..." Spidey accepted, shocked. People being nice to him was something he was certain would take some getting used to. "You're welcome." He handed the money and cards to Roger.  
  
"Yes, thank you for saving us..." the woman, Emily, smiled. She wrapped herself around Roger's arm. "From that man and from each other."  
  
"Yes," Roger agreed. "I've been trying to tell her forever it seems. I guess its really true what they say, you know? It's always in times like these, when you're so close to losing something important, that you realize just how much it means." Roger smiled down to Emily.  
  
Spidey wanted to laugh or cry at the irony of it all. It made his stomach queasy and his heart constrict. He felt their story hitting right on the mark. He could only nod in response. After a moment of silence he finally spoke. "You should get to a payphone and call the police, and make sure you get checked out at the hospital."  
  
"We will," Emily nodded. "Thank you again. We sure have changed our minds about you. You're a real hero."  
  
"Just trying to be a courteous, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man," he replied, looking once again at the mugger all webbed up. "Say hi to your new girlfriend for me." He waved teasingly. He turned back to the couple and nodded. Then he shot a web-line to the top of the building he leapt off of.  
  
"Bye!" they called out.   
  
**********  
  
Betty Brant stepped out of the Bugle in quite a rush. She had special dinner plans tonight and she was already running late with Mr. Jameson's countless tasks monopolizing the majority of her time.   
  
The weather was still frigid, but at least it was 5 degrees warmer than it had been for the past two days. It had been so cold that any kind of increase in temparture made a big difference.   
  
Shivering when an icy wind blew past, she buttoned up her trench coat and slipped on her gloves, walking behind the Bugle building and into an alleyway that cut across to the restaurant she'd promised to meet Ned Leeds at.   
  
Ned was one of the Bugle's most popular reporters, and currently, her boyfriend. Though no one at the Bugle knew that they were dating yet. Betty usually tended to keep her personal life just that, and this breach in protocol with her coworker had her fearing what the office might think if news got out.   
  
Speaking of personal, her thoughts brought her back to Peter Parker and she scowled to herself. He'd never stopped by before he left for the day. She'd assumed that he was growing attached to this Amber Dieson person, who'd appeared out of nowhere mere days ago and swept up the young photographer much as the storm had swept into the city. Betty hadn't trusted her from the moment she'd laid eyes upon the other woman.   
  
Now, granted, she'd been a tough cookie to break... Parker knew that. Hell, Betty had been nothing but unkind to him when they'd first met. It was her way of testing people. But for Betty, Peter had become one of the few friendly faces within the Bugle after only a few days of his acquaintence. He was always polite and patient, his boyish, sometimes awkward demeanor leading her to believe that he was one of the few really good kids out there, just trying to make it in the world. Well, it didn't hurt that he was pretty good looking as well, but Betty only had eyes for Ned.  
  
Still, Peter was a friend, and that Amber character just hadn't sat right with Betty from the start. She was too flashy, too forward with herself. It was as if she expected everyone to open up and like her immediately. And it all seemed so fake. Betty could swear she was older than she claimed as well. Call it women's intuition, but a girl could just tell about these types of thing. Add to that the fact that she flew off the handle with Jameson too easily. Yeah, it didn't take much to piss Jonah off, but Betty had never seen him so angry over a freelancer since Peter. But in contrast, Peter had never provoked JJ intentionally, like she'd overheard Amber doing. There were just a lot of things about this new character that left Betty wondering about her character...  
Speaking of, it was just that that really got to Betty. Amber's personality, her attitude, her demeanor. After arguing with Jonah and talking to Peter that day, she'd gone into the women's restroom and thrown a fit. She couldn't quite tell if it was because of Jonah or something Peter had said. Regardless, it had been pretty creepy.   
  
Being the reporter at heart that she was, Betty started investigating Amber's past. That was when she found the article from her former hometown as well as a picture that resembled Amber as a younger woman. The name under the caption was different, and there were some noticable differences between the two, but Betty was almost sure Amber was the mistress of the husband whos wife was brutally murdered in the article.  
  
She had wanted to share the information with Peter in case he was getting too close to her to warn him off. Though Betty was still a bit confused as to why she would have to try and keep him from this girl in the first place. Once, jokingly, she'd asked the photographer if there was anyone special in his life that might be the reason why he lived in daydream-land all of the time. She remembered how his face had lit up when he responded. Mary Jane... MJ.... Then, as if realizing something, the smile faded, the light behind his eyes dimming considerably. "We can't have a relationship," Peter had said. Apparently there were some big problems that they couldn't overcome. Then Peter had looked angry at himself for mentioning her to Betty at all, as if he shouldn't have revealed he cared about her, or anyone else for the matter. It had passed though, and a few days later, and curiousity getting the better of her, Betty had asked about her. He mentioned that MJ was doing well, but that was all he knew about her. He'd seemed so lost about that, as if he'd lost the most important thing in his life.  
  
So that was why the whole fiasco with Amber seemed so strange. While the new girl was very attractive and obviously interested in Parker, Betty was sure Peter was still pining away for this MJ. How was she sure? Well, all Peter ever seemed to do when he wasn't taking pictures or arguing with Jonah was drink coffee and daydream, wearing a goofy smirk not unlike the one she'd seen when she'd asked about MJ the first time. If he was so in love with this girl, why then, would he be accepting Amber's advances?  
  
And that was exactly what it was to Betty. Amber was chasing relentlessly after Peter. She only wished she had gotten to show Peter the article today before he'd left. Pulling it from her pocket book, she studied the words as she walked, hoping to find some kind of absolution that the girl pictured in it was indeed Amber. She just hoped Peter would be in tomorrow so she could give it to him or she'd have to wait until after the holidays were over, and by then, the kid could be knee deep.  
  
"Betty...." a snowy breeze blew against her face, seemingly whispering her name.  
  
Betty whipped around, startled. Nothing but piles of snow and wet trash bags laid behind her. She looked around suspiciously for a moment longer, but still saw nothing. Shrugging to herself, she turned back around and continued walking, convinced that she was just hearing things. The end of the alley was in sight now and soon she'd be back on the populated streets.  
  
"What are you up to Betty?" again she heard that cold voice, whirling around her, right past her eyes this time.  
  
"Who's there?!" Betty growled, trying to sound more angry than scared. She failed miserably, her voice cracking in dry fear.   
The wind whipped her hair back and forth across her face and somehow, it seemed to grow darker in the alley around her. She sped up from a walk to a jog, then into an all out run.  
  
Suddenly a tidal wave of blackness slammed into her head on. She fell backwards, the wind knocked painfully out of her. She looked up, clutching her chest as she tried to catch her breath. Her eyes were wild, searching desperately to find out who and where her attacker was.  
  
A figure descended upon her then, and Betty looked up at it in fear and confusion. "W-w-ho are you?" she gasped, chest still heaving from her fall.  
  
"You're worst nightmare 'm afraid..." it replied, arms crossed.  
  
Betty's vision swam, momentarily blurred as she tried to regain equilibrium. Once everything came back into focus she was met with the sight of a tall, curve-shaped figure clad entirely in shining black vinyl. The shape could only mean that her attacker was female. She wore narrow, high-heeled boots that reminded Betty of something from one of those ridiculous comic books kids were always reading, and the only shock of color on her was a blood red hourglass pattern printed upon her chest and stomach. Her face was covered with a black mask attatched to the neck of her costume. Raven hair flowed from the face mask and her hands were gloved with the same material as the rest of her costume. Long claws protruded from the tips of the gloves. Her eyes were dark with stormy anger, glinting threateningly in the light of the falling snow.  
  
Betty's heart hammered heavily. The woman looked dangerous enough in the costume, but the bulges of trim, wiry muscle beneath the shiny material gave her even more reason to be afraid. The masked woman's shadow cast a dark glow, seeming to fill the entire alley. Betty shook with fear. "Who are you?!" she repeated trying to stand, to sound brave.  
  
"You are a meddling lil wench," the woman growled with obvious annoyance. "What's the matter? Not big on Spiders? And with that Spider freak running around this city, one would think you'd know one when you see one," she drawled. "I, my dear Miss Brant am the most deadly female spider known to man." She paced back and forth smoothly, studying her prey. Then she spun and appeared in front of Betty's face in an instant, causing the reporter to gasp. "That's a Black Widow, if you didn't know," she informed the other woman haughtily.   
  
"BUT..." she raised a finger, of which there was a deadly black claw attached, and slid it dangerously along the side of Betty's face. The woman in black placed her finger against Betty's lips as to shush her. "...you may call me the Widow Maker." Her eyes were wide with delight and insanity as she told Betty this.   
  
Betty stared at her in a mixture of fear and shock, and, despite her better judgement, a touch of humor. "Widow Maker? So are you like, Spider-Man's sister or something? The bad seed? Evil twin maybe?"  
  
Widow Maker laughed, throwing her head back in overdramatic fashion. "Foolish bitch!" Without warning she smacked Betty hard across the face before snatching the newspaper article Betty still clung to. "I see you still don't understand." She crumbled the article in her hand. "The black widow spider kills the male after mating. I kill those who reject us. Men, women who stand in my way. Whoever, whatever stands in my way."  
  
Betty's heart beat sped up further, if it were possible. She clutched her burning cheek, tasted blood from the inside of her mouth.  
  
"Men who run off with other women on me will not be tolerated. I will kill any woman who dares threaten my happiness!!" she ranted, still leaning threateningly over Betty.  
  
"I don't understand what I have to do with this...." Betty replied, eyes warily following her every movement.  
  
"Meddlesome bitch...." Widow Maker snarled, using her claws to shred the article.  
  
Betty finally put two and two together.  
  
"You think you know. You think you understand...." Widow Maker gripped Betty's coat, lifting her off her feet. "You don't!! I want what's mine and no one will stand in my way. I won't let you meddle in my affairs and ruin my chances with him! I'll kill you before I let you. He's mine!"  
  
"I don't want Peter!" Betty responded desperately. She looked down and locked eyes with the psychotic woman. She knew now without a doubt that it was Amber underneath that crazy costume.   
  
"Liar!" Amber hissed back, so enraged by her bold lie to even care Betty had figured out her identity.. "I saw the way you held him today. I saw you watching us!" Widow Maker tossed Betty hard, into a snow drift beside the building.  
  
Betty hit the wall with a painfilled grunt. She groaned in pain and rolled onto her back, looking up at Amber in disgust. "I knew you were no good!"  
  
Widow Maker savagely kicked Betty in the ribs before she could say more. "Bitch!"  
  
Betty curled into the fetal position, overcome with pain when she heard something crack. This woman was strong. "It's the truth!" she coughed.  
  
"No one will keep me from the man I want," Widow Maker warned. "I will dispose of you."  
  
Betty watched with wide, horror filled eyes as her claws came down towards her face.  
  
"Each one of these claws are filled with Black Widow venom...." Amber purred, wiggling her claws inches from Betty's horror striken features. "The venom of a Black Widow spider is fifteen times more toxic than that of the rattlesnake. There's enough venom in each of these claws to be rid of you once and for all." Happy at this thought, she reached back to strike.  
Betty's thoughts turned to the innate desire to survive at all costs, and she somehow found the breath to call out. "There's another woman, not me!"  
  
Widow Maker stopped. "Who?"  
  
Betty felt sick with guilt but she didn't want to die. She would just have to warn Peter in time if she got out of this. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Mary Jane.... Mary Jane Watson...."  
  
Widow Maker's blood red lips formed into a wicked smile and she laughed maniacally. "And so she shall die...." Widow Maker vowed. She closed her fist, leaving only one claw out. "For that information, I'll let you live. But, you will forget who I am and when you wake up. You won't recall any of this."  
  
"The hell I won't!" Betty shot back.  
  
Widow Maker threw a fist into Betty's jaw, sending her flying back into the brick wall. She then grabbed the flailing woman's arm and jabbed her with her exposed claw.   
  
Betty screamed in horror. She felt the effects of the venom invading her system instantly. She felt herself grow wet with cold sweat, her eyelids growing heavy. She was paralyzed, unable to move. Her vision deteriorated as she fought off the urge to pass out.  
  
"Don't worry dear, just enough to put you out and mixed with my special serum. You'll forget all this when you wake in the hospital...." Widow Maker teased Betty by clawing her cheek gently; not hard enough to break skin. "That is if you wake in a hospital."   
  
Before passing out, the last thing Betty heard was her evil laughter, She saw her jump to a hanging line, crawling up and away. A vision of Spider-Man doing much the same played in Betty's head oddly, right before she passed out in the snow behind the Bugle.  
  



	11. Round One: Black

A/N: Wow, Chapter 11 right after 10! I must be on a roll LOL Well I hope you guys continue to enjoy and please continue to give more reviews. I truly do live for them. I appreciate all the kind and honest feedback you've given me. Its what keeps me going so keep them coming, ok? ;) One of my fav songs to be the intro for this chapter, try looking at it from an insane persons POV, it may scare you! LOL And don't worry, Amber's behavior and 'powers' will be explained soon!   
  
Katie Ann: Thanks for the kind words, I'm glad you like the story so much :)   
  
M.Q.: Amber's reasons/behavior will be explained further soon, but her reasons for going after Peter are simply desire. Amber's not too heathly in the sane department, as 'm sure you'll see. She's got something against men, and women who hurt or get in her way. She sees Peter as being different, as someone who would not hurt her. Ok, so she just met him and doesn't know that for sure but shes not exactly sane! So once she's decided she wants something, she'll stop at nothing to get it, no matter what. You are correct, she is not aware Pete is Spidey just yet. And her 'powers' will be explained soon. I will tell you its more about the power of human's emotion than any power given by radioactivity or something like that, but that will be a part of it. You'll just have to keep reading and see ;)   
  
Starlight1534: Thanks for thinking the story awesome and that I am talented. I humbly accept your praise :) I hope you continue to read and enjoy!   
  
Now onto chapter 11!   
  
Sarah McLachlan- Black  
  
Chapter 11: Round One   
  
As the walls are closing in  
And the colors fade to black  
And my eyes are falling fast and deep into me  
And I follow the tracks that lead me down  
And I never follow what's right  
And they wonder sometimes when they see all the  
Sadness and pain the truth begins to light  
__  
'Cause I can't see no reason  
What is blind cannot see  
'Cause I want what is pleasin'  
All I take should be free  
What I rob from the innocent ones  
What I'd steal from the womb  
  
If I cried me a river of all my confessions  
Would I drown in my shallow regret  
As the walls are closing in  
And the colors fade to black  
And the night is falling fast and deep into the sea  
And in the darkness all that I can see  
The frightened and the weak  
Are forced to cling to mistakes they know nothing of  
At mercy are the meek  
  
'Cause I can't see no reason  
What is blind cannot see  
'Cause I want what is pleasin'  
All I take should be free  
What I rob from the innocent ones  
What I'd steal from the womb__  
  
  
Christmas Eve was hectic enough without having to stop at the Daily Bugle. But, Peter took a moment to do just that when he heard about the attack on Betty. He ran into Glory Grant, one of the only people on the staff for the holiday. The building was distinctly quiet with Jameson's noticeable absence. It was such a strange setting: the quiet of the newsroom, the tapping of the keyboards, a small 13' inch TV playing the local news off in the distance, and even the sound of the percolating coffee pot could be heard. It was almost unnerving; it was most certainly abnormal. Peter chuckled with glee. Boy, he never thought he'd miss the sound of JJJ screaming.  
  
"Hey Glory!" Peter shouted before he jogged up to the young black woman.  
  
"Peter, what are you doing here?" she smiled sweetly, shocked.  
  
"I heard what happened to Betty from Ben. I wanted to come down and see if anyone knew the whole story. Ben only knew that Betty was attacked." Peter informed, a frown upon his features.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Glory frowned as well. "I'll tell you as much as I know myself. Poor Betty..."   
  
"Yeah..." Peter swallowed a lump of guilt having not been there to help or stop it.   
  
"She was found behind the building in a snow drift. It turns out that Ned Leeds and Betty had been dating secretively -- not much of a secret anymore," Glory paused to give a half smile at the tidbit of newsroom gossip was leaked to another member. Frankly, she was happy for them both and had a strong suspicion about them. Shaking the gossip from her mind, she concentrated on Peter's saddened face and remembered the rest of the story. "Ned got worried when she was hours late for their dinner date. So, he came back here to the Bugle to look for her and he found her in the back alley, buried in snow. He said she was as cold as ice and unconscious. Other than that there were no signs of a struggle and she still had her purse. He rushed her to the hospital and she awoke late last night, but couldn't remember who attacked her or why. Turns out she's battling a rough case of hypothermia but other than that she's fine. She's upset about spending the holidays in a hospital and scared that she can't recall the attack. If you ask me, I'd be more scared that nothing was stolen. That could only mean it wasn't your random mugging."  
  
Peter, being the man-or the super hero he was-was determined to find out what happened to his good friend and why. "We'll all do our best to help her out. I only wish I had time to stop by today to see her, but I'm in quite a rush. Thanks, Glory for the info and have a wonderful holiday."  
  
"You too dear," she smiled with a nod, nose back in papers before he disappeared from her sight.  
  
Before he left, he wandered to Betty's desk to see if it held any clues.   
  
He slipped into her seat and sorted through the notes atop her desk. All he could find were stories she'd been working on now, along with a ton of paperwork from Jameson. Any one of these stories could be why she was attacked, any one of them dangerous if someone didn't want the story leaked. On top of the paperwork for Jameson-which consisted of bills and more personal info-was a CD that caught Peter's eye when the light hit it from the window. He picked it up, eyeing it with care before something else caught his eye. He reached out and flipped open the laptop before popping in the CD. After the computer loaded, an old archive of a Boston newspaper lit the screen. Peter skimmed the pages, hoping there was some kind of clue as to how come Betty was attacked. Maybe she was getting too close to a story? Maybe it had to do something with this CD full of archived stories? But from Boston? He sifted through the pages, coming to the next day's paper and about 4 pages in, his spider sense tingled at the base of his neck then grew stronger by the second.   
  
But before he could read the page, the laptop screen went black and powered down.  
  
Peter groaned in annoyance, seeing the blinking battery light on the laptop's base. The battery had died. He closed the laptop and made a note to ask Betty about any new stories involving these archives. He didn't have time to wait for the battery to recharge and there wasn't even time to let it run off the a.c. adapter. He pondered taking the laptop with him, but now his common sense was making his head buzz. It was nearly late afternoon and he still had to travel to Queens for Aunt May's dinner, besides picking up MJ's gift and gathering everyone else's presents.  
  
He sighed staring at the laptop, deciding to bring it with him to see Betty after the holidays. He pounced from her chair and head out the Bugle building in a rush to his apartment. Time for round one.   
  
**********  
  
May Parker hummed softly, trying to keep her Christmas spirit chipper for the arrival of the nephew that was like a son to her and his friends. She planned all she could, trying to keep the holiday alive for her and Peter. She knew without a doubt it would be hard without Ben Parker this year and every year that would follow. But Ben would never want May or Peter to be miserable for the holidays or any day for that matter. May was determined to make this a nice holiday and maybe the Lord would help out and bring his nephew and the girl next door together.   
  
She sang softly, turning the Christmas lights that decorated her tree on. The festive decorations scattered throughout the home reflected the twinkling colorful lights of the tree. She smiled proudly at her work. The presents were laid out under the tree, the lights twinkled like rainbows, the aroma of good food filled the house and the smell of pine and fresh poinsettia flowers gave it a touch only Christmas could bring. May chuckled with a gleam in her eye as she toyed with the mistletoe planted throughout the house. There'd be nowhere for Peter to hide from Mary Jane if May got her way.  
  
"'Tis the season to be jolly..." she sang, off into the kitchen.  
  
***********  
  
Amber beamed brightly as she walked down the empty street towards her bus stop. Her head was filled with a million thoughts, preparing herself for dinner with Peter. She snickered as she thought how easy it was to guilt him into inviting her to dinner. It would not take much to win him over soon. All she had to do was get rid of that Mary Jane girl, who she saw as the only thing standing in her way. Then Peter would forget all about her next victim and fall in love with her as it should be. And whatever Amber wanted, Amber got. The Widow Maker saw to that. *Don't we?* she asked her reflection in a store window as she breezed down the street. Her smile grew wicked and devious as her eyes flashed with total blackness.  
  
And Peter really did seem like the perfect man. He was honest and sweet and kind. He wasn't like other men, and that was why Amber was so sure this time it would be different. He wouldn't mislead her and hurt her. He didn't hurt women, didn't force himself on them, orally or physically.   
  
Peter Parker was everything Amber had been looking for since ... since she discovered men were nothing more than monsters! Monsters that did not deserve to get away with what they did to her, to women, and did not deserve to betray her! Never again. She would not allow it. No, Peter would never do the things other men had done to her ... force her to hurt them ... destroy them, and anyone else who got in her way. Just like that Mary Jane girl... No, she would not be a problem. Once she was gone, she was certain Peter would forget all about her. He just had to. And if he didn't...   
  
Just another fly caught in the Widow's web. Another mate killed. It mattered not, there was always another mate out there. But this time, this time... Peter is the one. The one who would make it all different.  
  
Amber took a controlling breath as she felt the anger and bitterness flow through her veins and she grit her teeth controlling her appearance. In the store windows, she could see the reflection of her white blonde hair grow dark as her roots grew black and her hands shook with the effort. Her eyes rested on her fingertips, turning green with the poison venom flowing through her tips. She dug her fingernails into her palms and forced her body to calm.   
  
"Hey beautiful. Don't you know its dangerous to walk the city all by your lonesome?" a loathing male voice, drenched in the scent of alcohol hit her face.   
  
Amber raised her eyes to see a man her age staring her down on the empty street. He was leaning in closely, advancing on her. That familiar fear filled her body at his close proximity. She felt her heart rate double with the slap of terror she longed never to feel again. Her lips twitched as he snarled and started chuckling darkly, a pocket blade flipping out in his hand. Insanity soon took its toll and the once fearful Amber allowed the tainted adrenaline flowing through her to take over. Her lips widened as she joined his laughter, her voice richer and even more maniacal. Within one motion her hand swept out knocking the offensive object from his grasp and she had his throat in her black grasp.  
  
The man yelped as she began choking the life out of him. His eyes were widened in terrified fear as the features of the blonde women morphed into darkness, her hair black as pitch, her eyes black leaving no color to them and her lips were a blood red. He reached up to grip her hand away but her other hand came to his cheek and he then realized she had knives for fingers, or daggers.   
  
"It is quite dangerous to walk the streets alone. I assure you." Amber hissed, the darkness of the Widow Maker taking over form. "Are you frightened?"  
  
The man whimpered childishly, tears forming at his eyes as he gasped for the air she would not allow to his throat.   
  
"Not nearly enough!" she snarled and gripped the man by the throat with both hands as they disappeared into an alley and he couldn't even let out a final scream of terror as her nails dug into the flesh of his throat, ten long needle-like nails pumped black widow venom into the man.  
  
His lifeless form slumped to the ground only when she released her nails from his throat. His face was swollen, filled with the venom. She leaned down over his body, spotting the band of gold wrapped around his finger. She plucked it from his possession. "Another widow, such a shame..."   
  
Her eyes flashed black once more, grinning at the horrified fright forever locked in his gaze. She would never wear the same frightened expression as her victim did, never again. She would be the cause for it.   
  
**********  
  
Peter, despite his stop at the Bugle was still the first to arrive. Of course he has the advantage of web-slinging half the way there, which cut down on his travel time a great deal. He managed to bundle his presents protectively in a web sack. He couldn't help letting the Christmas spirit get to him as he thought he resembled Santa with a giant sack of presents as he skimmed the skies.   
  
Arms filled to the brim with packages, he lifted a foot to ring the doorbell of his old home.   
  
May rushed to the door with a smile that could almost compare to Mary Jane's. Almost. "Peter!" she shouted with joy.  
  
"Aunt May," he grinned, walking in with care. Though the presents were stacked, Peter's balance wasn't even affected, he still gave a slight wobble and teetered in order to throw his aunt off from his inhuman ability to be so coordinated, as he once wasn't.   
  
"Dear Peter! Be careful!" May directed him towards the tree. "My heaven's! Peter, how did you ever get here with all these presents and land's sake child how did you afford it?"  
  
"Oh, don't worry bout me, got here just fine." He chuckled privately. "Mr. Jameson bought a lot of pictures last week Aunt May..." Peter set the presents down near the tree. "So I had to splurge on you and my friends."  
  
Aunt May grinned knowingly. "How many of those are for Mary Jane?"  
  
Peter blushed. "One or two," he couldn't help but chuckle at her matchmaker expression. He pulled her into a hug and gave her a stern look afterwards. "Now don't you go giving me that look, Aunt May."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about dear..." she feigned innocence.  
  
Peter just grinned. He heard a car door slam outside and he peered over Aunt May's shoulder to see a glisten of red in the dim light of the late afternoon. It reminded him of a beacon of light in a storm. MJ...  
  
May looked outside as well and gripped her nephew's arm, pulling him to the door. "Go on and help her. And don't you dare let her pay for that cab!"  
  
Peter nodded, feeling his stomach knot up and his tongue tie in anticipation of seeing her again. He moved without thought and came to meet her as she prepared to pay for the cab. He handed the cabbie the fee before MJ could pry her money out between carrying all her bags.   
  
"Pete..." she said looking almost dumbfounded.  
  
He felt his heart cease to move when he met her eyes. Her flaming red hair was twisted back in a green clip and the rest of her hair cascaded over her shoulders like wisps of bright red silk. Her eyes twinkled brightly. She was gorgeous, even more gorgeous than usual it were at all possible. "Hey Red, you look amazing..." he winked. Then he glanced around wondering where that had come from as his face grew warm and red.  
  
She chuckled at his puzzled expression while the cabbie drove off. Her heart flip flopped at his compliment and she no longer felt the bitter chill of winter around her but filled with warmth from his gaze. She smiled warmly. "Lemme pay you for that..."  
  
"Don't be silly MJ. You're a guest," Peter waved it off, offering a hand to help her carry bags.  
  
"Always there to rescue you me, aint'cha Tiger?" she winked. "Here, these aren't for you, so you can't peek..." she giggled, sliding a few bags to his waiting grasp. She wished it was herself that she slid into his waiting grasp. She covered up her thoughts by looking to his home. "Am I too early?"  
  
"Not at all," Peter shook his head, still unsure where his voice was coming from. Two minutes ago he was worried about speaking at all.  
  
As they descended up the sidewalk, MJ stopped to look at her own former home with a frown.  
  
Peter instantly felt for her. He couldn't imagine what it would feel like for her. He didn't have parents of his own anymore, and with Uncle Ben gone now, he couldn't dare dream what life would be like if Aunt May didn't want to be part of his life or treated him horrible. He wondered for a moment if it sucked even more to have the parents and them not wanting you, than it did for them to just be dead. Still, part of her must still want to see her mother at least... "Did you wanna go see-"  
  
A sharp, cold wind rustled her hair and she shivered. "No," MJ shook her head sternly. "He's in there."  
  
Peter nodded, knowing immediately she was speaking of her father. He wanted to wring the man's neck for ever hurting MJ. He silently wondered if there was more than verbal abuse but decided it wasn't his business to pry. Yet, an overwhelming sense to protect her at all costs filled his heart and all he needed was a reason to tear the man apart.   
  
"If he leaves, 'll go see my Mom, but not with that bastard in that house..." MJ's voice was filled with such anger, Peter flinched. He'd never heard her speak with such hatred before.  
  
"MJ..." he had to know now. He had to make sure. "I..." he paused. "I, your dad...."  
  
"Was nothing but a drunken, stupid man who insulted me and continues to insult my mother and as far as I'm concerned, I'm dead to him..." MJ finished.  
  
"I know he hurt you MJ, but... "  
  
MJ searched Peter's eyes trying to see what he was having such trouble saying. They sparkled with an intensity she assumed was filled with the want to protect her from harm and wondering just how far her father went to hurt her. She fell in love with him a little more in that one moment. "It's OK Pete. You don't have to kill him for me..." she teased lightly.   
  
Growing more serious, she took one last look at the house then met his eyes again. Immediately, she felt safe and protected again. The way only Peter could ever make her feel. "He was a selfish bastard when he was drunk, but he was never more abusive than with his words."  
  
Peter nodded, feeling for her anyway. No one, especially MJ deserved to be treated like less than she was.  
  
She smiled at him, trying to force away bad thoughts. The day held too much potential to let her spirits be dampened. "Besides, no one puts me down anymore." She shifted her presents in her arms. "C'mon, lets go put these down before I drop all your presents..."   
  
Peter chuckled, his boyish smile returning to his face. "Aunt May's gonna flip! I don't think she's seen this many presents in her entire life!"  
  
MJ grinned back at him. "I'm glad she invited me. There's no one I'd rather spend the holidays with." She met his eyes, letting him know she was glad to be there with him.   
  
Peter blushed softly, stepping into the living room where the tree sparkled. "We're glad to have you here too..."  
  
"Mary Jane!" Aunt May greeted. "How are you child?" she hugged the young redhead affectionately.  
  
"Merry Christmas Aunt May!" she smiled warmly. "Thanks for asking me to your dinner."  
  
"Oh your welcome dear. Peter and I are delighted to have you. Aren't we?" Aunt May looked to her nephew.  
  
Peter glared at her in warning again. Then smiled so MJ wouldn't pick up on the look the two shared. "Of Course..."  
  
MJ giggled, not lost on the look Peter gave his aunt.  
  
"Lemme take your coat for you," Aunt May offered, helping her out of her coat. "Peter, I'll take yours too."  
  
Peter inched his arms out of his coat, handing it to his aunt, eyes transfixed to MJ. He was almost sure he was gaping and drooling. The woman only got more beautiful with each passing minute. She was dressed in a tight fitting velvet green wrap around top and a long black skirt with a small slit in the side, showing off her perfect figure. As far as he was concerned, she was the perfect person to be a model and an actress. No matter what she wore, she was gorgeous and it made whatever she wore look great. Peter was quite sure she could model men's clothes and still be amazingly beautiful. Her eyes sparkled with light, her gorgeous red hair was almost glowing against the green in her shirt. It wasn't the clothes that made her attractive though: it was her radiant smile, the bounce in her step, the way she looked at him like no one else mattered, it was her laughter, her tears, her dedication and devotion that made Peter's soul ache for her and cause his heart to pound right out of his chest. She was beyond the word gorgeous, a step beyond beautiful, she'd make Venus herself jealous. Peter continued to stare, unable to voice his thoughts. He was quite sure the loud pounding of his heart would drown out any verbal noise he could possibly make anyway.  
  
MJ met Peter's eyes, sucked right in to their ocean blue twinkle. She nearly gasped catching full sight of him. He looked so handsome that she almost slapped herself for not seeing this under the geeky glasses and nerdy behavior in the first place. And as much as the bulge of muscles prominent under his gray button down were only a plus in his looks; it wasn't what made his so utterly breathtaking in her eyes. It was his boyish smile, his baby blues and his courage and heart. Sure, he was sexy and absolutely hot and she yearned to run her fingers over every inch of muscle under those clothes, and through those brunette locks, but nothing could compare to the sense of comfort and care he made her feel when he was around. She was safe, protected and cared for. No one had ever made her feel that way before. It was precious.  
  
OK and he was devastatingly sexy in the smoky steel gray shirt and the black slacks he was dressed in.   
  
Almost as sexy as he was in that skin tight Spider-man outfit. She felt her face grow hot when she allowed her mind to wonder what he would look like without any clothes. She broke eye contact with him, her face burning with embarrassment. She looked up after a moment to see him still staring at her. Now she blushed for a different reason and giggled. He was gaping at her, practically drooling. She grinned feeling powerful and recharged at his reaction.   
  
She reached out to finger the shiny fabric of his shirt. Her other hand came to his other shoulder, almost holding him in a loose embrace. She gave him her best sexy grin, tossing her hair over her shoulder. She leaned in closer to him, amused that he still hadn't moved or blinked, not even a muscle twitch. "You look great Tiger," she paused, losing herself in his scent. "Smell good too...."   
  
He grinned goofily, dimples showing.  
  
"Mmmhhmmm..." she tilted her head, brushing her cheek along his, her lips coming to his ear. "You're driving me wild, Parker...."  
  
Peter came alive with that, gasping and stepping back a bit, but not out of her grasp. "MJ..."  
  
She giggled, winking at him. "It's OK Tiger... I know, I know. Can't a girl just give ya compliment?"  
  
"You..." he ignored her wink, cupping her soft cheek. He became possessed by her scent, intoxicated with the sight of her. She was giving him a high he couldn't even begin to explain. All he knew was his heart pounded irregularly, his stomach was doing wonderful flip flops, his throat felt constricted and he was light headed and he loved every minute of it. "You are radiant. You look amazing."  
  
She warmed from his attraction and reveled in the feel of his touch on her cheek. She leaned into his caress, afraid to blink. She was afraid it would end any second now. She leaned forward again, her lips lightly brushing his in a feather light press. "Thanks."  
  
He was sure he was going to explode from her softest touch and he gasped for a breath when she stepped back. He tried to take a step back, looking stunned and unsure. She held him by the shoulders. He gave her an apologetic look and his hand fell from her silky soft skin.  
  
She massaged his shoulders, feeling the webbed fabric of his Spider-man costume underneath his shirt. She grinned wryly knowing the spell had already been broken, so she felt the urge to play with him. "Be careful Tiger... I wouldn't let anyone else hug you too close today."  
  
Peter misinterpreted her comment as a threat. He looked strangely at her, stunned. He chuckled nervously. "Huh?"  
  
She giggled at his despair. Her hands massaged him harder. "I mean cuz ... although you can't see your costume through your shirt, I can still feel Spider-Man under those clothes of yours."  
  
"Oh." He replied simply.  
  
"Good to know if I tried to seduce you later there'd be another layer of clothing to go through," she winked teasingly.  
  
"Maybe I'll change," he chuckled back, face still aglow with a blush.  
  
MJ giggled, pulling him into a hug. "Don't ever change, Pete." Then she danced off to help Aunt May set the table.  
  
Peter's heart still skipped a few beats even after she was gone.   
  
May grinned like a Cheshire cat as she began to set the table. She peeked in on the two, shortly after hanging their coats and caught the small kiss they shared. She chuckled happily. They didn't even need the mistletoe.  
  
MJ came in to grab some napkins and began to help setting the table.   
  
"Don't be silly dear, go on and relax!" Aunt May waved her off, hoping to give her more time with Peter before Harry arrived.  
  
"Oh, its OK Aunt May, I love to help," MJ sat napkins at four settings.  
  
Peter came into the dining room looking a bit stunned and a whole lotta happy. Aunt May wondered just what happened, but decided to wait to later to pry. "Peter dear ... you're looking a bit red in the face, is it too hot in here?" May teased.   
  
Peter coughed, wiping his brow. "No. No..." he mumbled.  
  
MJ only smiled, her business set about preparing the table.  
  
"Oh...." Peter rubbed the base of his neck, looking alarmed at MJ.   
  
"What's wrong Peter?" MJ panicked, wondering if he had to make a hasty exit due to Spider-Man.   
  
"Uh, MJ... Can I talk to you a second?"  
  
"Sure," she stepped back into the living room where the tree was.  
  
May watched them with care, noticing MJ had only set 4 places. She frowned. Peter didn't tell her about that Amber woman coming to dinner yet. May looked heavenward. *Help them.* Her frown only progressed at the disappointed look on MJ's face as they whispered in the other room.  
  
"Uh... I want this to go better than the last time," he started.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I want to tell you so you're not surprised, but I don't want to..."  
  
"What is it Peter?"  
  
"Well, the thing is, I don't want to disappoint you..." he continued.  
  
She crinkled her brow in confusion. "Tiger, what can you possibly say that you haven't already?"  
  
He let his eyes fall to their feet. "The thing is... I invited someone. She doesn't have anyone to spend the holidays with and I felt so bad for her. She's really nice and she was so excited when I asked her, I just had to MJ." He spoke in a rush, hoping not to get decked.  
  
MJ's heart plummeted but she refused to let it show on her face.   
  
Or so she thought.  
  
Peter caught the momentary shadow of disappoint across her features and cringed, expecting a punch to the face.   
  
"Amber," she stated. She nodded trying to sound approving. She swallowed the lump in her throat and smiled. "That was nice of you to do, Pete. I'm not disappointed. I have no reason to be."  
  
"Mary Jane, I-"   
  
"No," she cut him off, still smiling. "Don't apologize," she said.  
  
He reached out to brush her arm. He lingered there for a moment, caressing the softness of her shirt. "Thanks for being so understanding. She really is a great person," he squeezed her arm affectionately. "But she can never compare to you..."  
  
MJ wanted to believe him, and she wanted to be big about this. All she could muster was another plastered smile and a short nod. "Lemme go finish the table..." she informed and as she passed him by, she gritted her teeth in anger and threw her shoulder into him, knocking him back a few small steps. Not bad considering he was like a 100 times more powerful than her. Never underestimate the power of a pissed off woman. "Whoops, sorry," she snapped, not even bothering to turn her head his way.  
  
Peter sighed, rubbing his shoulder as she walked away. Oh man. Next time he was sure to get decked. "Ding ding... Round two."  
  
*********** 


	12. Round Two: The Startling Truth

A/N: Hey all How bout another chapter? :) I knew you'd say yes LOL Or atleast I hope you did! :) Anywho, next few chapters will be some more character development for Amber and some more of my favorite emotion- angst for MJ/P and some slight sap... yes I know the entire story reeks of it but admit you love it :P I promise there'll be some more action soon! First time you really get to see much of Harry in this fic and I try not to make him out to be a bad guy cuz I personally like him, gotta love a man that destined for disaster. Hopefully I'll keep pumping the chapters out like this. Hope you guys enjoy and dont forget my two favorite 'R' words are Read and Review!!! ;)  
  
Jann Arden-Never Give Up On Me   
  
  
Chapter 12: Round Two: The Startling Truth  
  
I've made more mistakes  
Than I can count upon my finger tips  
I have been ashamed  
And I have felt as guilty as all sin  
  
Counting every tear that drops cannot account for any loss  
I'll let the past remain behind me now  
Fill it up with goodness  
I'll drink it down with love   
  
Never give up on me  
I will never give up on you  
You're everything I need  
Oh, just look at what we've been through  
So far so good   
  
I have wished on every star  
That shot across my broken heart  
I am still amazed that you came true  
I have kissed a hundred lips   
But none of them compare to this  
I have found myself inside of you  
You forgive my sad regrets  
And I forgive myself   
  
Never give up on me  
I will never give up on you  
You're everything I need  
Oh just look at what we've been through   
  
Never give up on me  
I will never give up on you  
You're everything I need  
Oh just look at what we've been through  
I love you  
  
Not too shortly after, Harry Osborn showed at the front door.  
  
Peter greeted him with a hug and a handshake. "How are ya Harry?"  
  
"OK," he shrugged, pulling off his black leather gloves. "Happy to be spending the holidays with you and Aunt May." Harry handed his coat and gloves to Peter.   
  
"We're glad you're here too," Peter smiled.  
  
"My driver 'll bring in all the presents," Harry motioned toward a tall man clad in black from head to toe, opening the trunk of the Rolls Royce. "I hope you guys won't mind. I kinda splurged."  
  
"Oh Harry...." Peter gasped, watching the man carry giant bundles of presents. "You didn't have to."  
  
"Well, you guys are all the family I have left, Pete," Harry clapped his shoulder. "I wanted to. It's no fun being rich and not splurging."  
  
"C'mon in Har... Aunt May and MJ are waiting." Peter paused, trying to catch his friends reaction. "You'll be OK with MJ here?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Harry waved it off. "I understand things just didn't work out with her. We can still be friends, if she wants. I know she's crazy about you, Pete." Harry paused, now studying Peter. "Question is, I know she loves you and I know you've been in love with her since you stopped wetting your bed or maybe even before that; how come you two aren't together?"  
  
Peter's mind spun trying to think of something to say but then the driver came in with the bundles and Aunt May and MJ came from the other direction to greet Harry. He sighed in relief.  
  
"Harry! Happy Holidays!" Aunt May hugged him.   
  
"Merry Christmas, Aunt May," Harry smiled to her after the hug.   
  
"Harry, Merry Christmas," MJ smiled, nodding politely.  
  
"Merry Christmas MJ," Harry reached out to grip her hand in a friendly gesture. He gave her a small wink. "Friends?"  
  
"Of course," MJ smiled, happy to know it wouldn't be uncomfortable for them to spend the day together. Now, Amber was another story.  
  
"Good heavens!" Aunt May stepped out of the driver's way. "Harry Osborn! Did you clean your fathers account out completely?!"  
  
He chuckled despite the mention of his father. "Hardly..."  
  
Peter watched Harry closely, wondering how well he was actually feeling.   
  
"As I was telling Pete, I just wanted to make this year nice. Being in charge of my father's accounts and business since his murder..." Harry paused, a flash of intense hatred marring his handsome features. Before he continued, his face softened and he sighed. "I've been so busy and haven't had time for any of my friends. Now that his accounts are settled and Oscorp is back to running at full steam, and all my business is mostly tied up I had to make up for it."  
  
"Having you here is present enough, Harry," Aunt May smiled warmly.   
  
He smiled back softly. "Thanks. It means a lot to know I have a place to go," he put an arm around Aunt May, with a sad smile. "I really miss him. He wasn't much of a holiday man, but it was the one time of year he made time with me as a family. Even Norman Osborn enjoyed Christmas." Harry's face became a mask of anger again. "Now thanks to some freak in a stupid spider costume, I don't even have that left."  
  
Aunt May patted his shoulder sympathetically. "That Spider-Man is nothing but a monster, Harry. He'll get his, don't you worry dear..." her voice filled with contempt.  
  
MJ watched the two, her heart pounding so loudly she swore everyone could here. *Spider-Man? Kill Mr. Osborn? What?* She turned to Peter in confusion, her heart refusing to believe Peter would ever harm anyone.   
  
Peter frowned, feeling the guilt well up in the pit of his stomach. He gritted his teeth with frustration, wanting so much to clear Spider-Man's name....his name. To hear Aunt May's repulsion of Spider-Man unsettled him too. He never did get her opinion of him. He assumed she'd be unlike everyone else and see all the good he's done.   
  
He assumed wrong.   
  
He felt eyes staring at him harshly. He turned to see MJ's green-blue eyes penetrating him with concern and bewilderedness. Her mouth was slightly agape and her expression was one of fear and shock. His heart went cold and he cocked his head with confusion. His eyes filled with a silent plea, begging her not to give up on him. Of all people, he couldn't lose her faith in him. She kept him sane, made him know what kind of man he wanted to be, with and without the costume.  
  
She continued to stare, unmoving even after Harry and Aunt May left the room.  
  
Peter clenched and unclenched his fists, eyes locked on hers. He could see the doubt and disappointment written all over her. He broke the stare down, eyes finding the floor that his heart fell too and he knew Mary Jane would never trust or believe in him again. The one person who did believe in Spider-Man no longer did. She thought of him, and even with knowing the man behind the mask, as a murderer. He swallowed that thought heavily, feeling his stomach churn. He gave her one last glance, turned on his heel and stalked out the front door, rushing down the steps just as the Rolls Royce pulled away.  
  
The sting of the cold hit his face but had no effect on him; he was burning from the inside out, too angered to be cold. His anger heated him with the fire of the sun. He came to the end of the sidewalk in front of his old home and clutched his heart and gasped a breath of the bitter air. He felt overwhelmed with betrayal and heartache. He grunted, feeling overtaken by the heat of rage. His heart still ached more than any other emotion he felt and it only fueled the anger more. Her lost faith would be his undoing. He growled in protest, throwing his fist full force into a steel trash can. The sound of metal shredding on impact rang in his ears and pulling his hand back he noticed the fist-sized hole now in the can. His hand shook with the effort and it was bright red from the impact. Small streaks of blood dripped down his fingertips from his knuckles.   
  
Broken glass bottles fell from the hole in the can and Peter winced in pain noticing there was a sizable piece of glass protruding from his knuckle. He cursed under his breath and pulled the glass out quickly. He hissed once more, before   
taking some very needed deep breaths and controlling his temper. Puffs of white smoke came from his mouth as he breathed out.   
  
He examined his hand, frowning. He shouldn't have let his anger get to him, he couldn't believe how quickly he did just that too. He made a fist, wincing again as his knuckles burned with the effort. "Way to go Pete..." he shook his hand out and sighed. "See what happens when you lose control. Total rage case..." he shook his head, as if having MJ disappointed in him wasn't enough, now he felt disappointed in himself. He just let go of all control and gotten himself hurt; he couldn't imagine if someone had been near him. He might've gone as ballistic as Gobby. He might've hurt someone just because his rage made him see red. For a moment he understood how powerful it was to let rage control him and he shuddered, hoping he'd never lose control of his temper again.  
  
Which would be hard to do if he didn't have MJ to keep him grounded.  
  
He reached into his pocket with his good hand and felt around for the white handkerchief he always made sure to have around when he visited Aunt May. He wrapped it around his knuckles tightly, tying it off with his mouth. He turned to look at the house and felt anger all over again. He'd need a few more minutes to cool off, even as the cold wind chilled his very bones.  
  
"Peter?"  
  
**********   
  
Mary Jane stood still as a statue even after Peter stormed out the room. She only moved when she heard the loud bang outside. It caused her to jump and her heart started moving again. She gasped and put a hand to her racing heart. She replayed the last few moments in her mind and she desperately needed to talk with Peter. The way he looked at her, made her scared. He looked at her with desperation, wanting her to know he didn't kill anyone. Of course MJ was positive he wasn't capable of it, but the shock rendered her confused and he must've misinterpreted her reaction to be one of disappointment and loss of faith in him. It was Harry and Aunt May that had truly shocked MJ. Neither knew Peter was Spider-Man, which would explain their hatred from Spider-Man, but why...how ... could Harry accuse him of murdering Norman? And how did Aunt May not notice the good Spider-Man did? They both knew that he had saved her life on more than one occasion.  
  
MJ jumped into motion, coming to the front door. As angry with him about Amber as she was, she couldn't let him think she lost all hope in him. She remembered him once telling her, that she made him know the kind of man he needed to be, helped him realize that no matter how much all the good he did was thrown in his face, it was still right.   
  
She was about to open the door and chase after Peter, then noticed he was standing right outside the home, and his eyes were fixed on something. Then MJ noticed a blonde head appear into view and she couldn't help but stare knowing this was Amber. She vaguely remembered her from the night Spider-Man saved her, but being this much closer made MJ realize she was very beautiful.   
  
**********  
  
"Amber," Peter managed a smile. "You made it."  
  
"Your directions were great," she smiled. "Happy Holidays, Peter."  
  
He nodded. "Happy Holidays."  
  
"How are you?" Amber came up to within inches of him. She dropped some bags on the ground and held her arms out for a hug.  
  
Peter relented and hugged her close, finding himself engrossed by her perfume once again. He pulled back to look at her. "I'm OK. Not having a great start to the holidays."  
  
"Oh, you hurt your hand!" Amber noticed the white handkerchief bandage, now stained with blood on his left knuckles. "What happened?"  
  
Peter put his hand in his pocket and shrugged. "Neighbor's dog," he tried, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
She raised her brows but didn't question further. "Am I late?"  
  
"Last to arrive but not late," he told her.  
  
"Well, they say save the best for last right," she chuckled, elbowing him gently. "Maybe I can help make your holidays get better from here on out."  
  
He highly doubted it. Only MJ could fix that. Still, he grinned and noticed her bags. "Can I help you with those?"  
  
"Oh sure. I made some cookies," she blushed.  
  
"Aww, that's real sweet of you, Amber. I'm sure they'll be great." Peter lifted the bags.  
  
"I got something for your aunt, to thank her for having me," Amber informed, handing him the other bag.  
  
"You didn't have to do that. I'm sure my aunt will love it anyway. She's being bombarded with presents this year," he smiled, all thoughts of before seeming to evaporate.   
  
"Well, I can't thank you both enough. I miss having a place to go to for the holidays and there's no place I'd rather be," she winked.  
  
Peter blushed as they headed for the house. It was then that the events from scant minutes ago popped back into his mind. He had to put it aside and enjoy the day. So what if everyone he knew hated Spider-Man, most people did. It hurt to think MJ now did too. It did more than hurt. Maybe they could talk, maybe he could explain and she'd believe in him and all would be fine. Or maybe not. He had to let it go, at least for now. He took one last breath, looked at Amber and put his smile back on. "Ready to stuff your face and be buried under tons of wrapping paper?"  
  
"Can't wait!" she bubbled.  
  
*********  
  
MJ left the door just as Peter and Amber headed for the house. She stepped into the living room and sat at the couch.  
  
"Anything wrong, Mary Jane?" Aunt May appeared, a glass of eggnog in hand. She handed it to MJ.  
  
"No, everything's fine," she smiled to the elder woman.  
  
"I spoke with your mother on the phone a few moments ago. She'd love for you to stop over and say hi," May informed.  
  
"I will," MJ sipped the eggnog.   
  
May nodded, knowing the girl was apprehensive. "Excuse me dear, I have to check dinner."   
  
Harry came in with his own glass of eggnog, taking a seat next to MJ. "How are ya, MJ?"  
  
She offered Harry a half smile. "Swell, yourself?"  
  
"Getting by..." Harry nodded. "Listen, MJ... I want to apologize for everything that happened between us. I know now that we weren't meant to be and I'd be grateful for your friendship."  
  
MJ smiled, despite everything Harry said about Spider-Man and her owns feelings at the moment. "I'd like that too."  
  
He grinned, putting an arm around her shoulders, offering a short squeeze. "So why aren't you and Pete together yet? You know he's crazy about you right? All he used to talk about was screwing up the courage to talk to you, and now that you like him ... well I figured you two would be a couple by now?"  
  
MJ huffed when Harry said screwing up. She just shrugged and frowned instead. "Dunno Har... Don't think Peter wants a relationship with anyone right now."  
  
Just then, the front door closed and soft laughter could be heard, getting louder as Peter and Amber entered the room.   
  
Harry glanced at the two, then at MJ. He wrinkled his brow in confusion. The blonde was hanging on Pete's arm and they were both laughing and smiling widely. He looked back at MJ again. She was tense and smiled at the two, the smile of an actress. *Whoa boy...*   
  
"Hey..." Peter set Amber's bags down, setting her white coat on the coat rack. "Guys, this is Amber Dieson. She's a coworker at the Bugle," he turned to look at the two on the couch. "Amber this is Harry and MJ."  
  
"Hello," Amber smiled politely. "Nice to meet you both. Merry Christmas."  
  
Harry stood to shake Amber's hand, entranced by her beauty. She had a cherry red fuzzy sweater and a knee length black skirt on. She was gorgeous! "Merry Christmas."  
  
MJ looked at Peter, who refused to even glance at her, then she shook Amber's hand as well. She noticed Harry staring at the leggy blonde and couldn't help but to admit herself that the girl was even more attractive face to face. "Happy Holidays."   
  
"Dinner's almost ready," May came into the room, her smile dying as she set eyes upon the blonde standing in her living room. Out of courtesy she put the smile back on. "You must be Amber. I'm Peter's Aunt May."  
  
"Pleasure to meet you ma'am. Thanks for having me for the holidays. It's awfully kind of you." Amber smiled brightly at May.  
  
"Your welcome, hope you'll enjoy yourself." May nodded kindly. *What a fake* Something about this woman didn't sit right with May. She didn't like the way she was hovering over Peter. It was as if she owned him. May hoped Peter used his common sense and got rid of the girl soon, or she'd have to beat her nephew over the head with a frying pan till his common sense kicked in. Smart as Peter was, he would never understand women.  
  
"Peter's told me so much about you, but 'm afraid he's said very little about you two," Amber looked from May to Harry and MJ. "Are you married?"  
  
MJ glared at the girl and Harry nearly choked on his eggnog.  
  
Amber raised her brows.  
  
"No, we're not," MJ offered when Harry was still silent beside him.  
  
"Oh, just a couple then?" she pushed.  
  
"Not anymore," Harry now spoke up. "We're just friends."  
  
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Here I am being so nosy," she blushed.  
  
"It's OK," Harry smiled at her. "We have the whole night to get to know one another. MJ and you and I, I mean."  
  
Amber nodded, looking at Peter. "I could use a cup of eggnog."  
  
"Here, 'll show you where May stashed it," Harry offered, pointing out the way.  
  
"Oh..." Amber turned from Peter. "Thanks," she followed Harry into the dining room.  
  
May looked at Peter. "She's...lovely dear," she forced. "I'll go see about carving that roast." She smiled at MJ before leaving the room.  
  
Tension sat thickly between the two occupants in the room.   
  
MJ clasped her hands together, eyes locked on her painted nails. "She seems very nice. Pretty too."  
  
Peter's eyes finally fell on the redhead sitting on the couch. Her hands were clasped together, eyes fixated on her own fingers. He knew she did that whenever she was nervous. He nodded. "Yeah."  
  
"I, uh.. I'd like to talk to you-"  
  
"We are talking, MJ," Peter interrupted.   
  
"I don't understand why you're angry with me," her hands folded and unfolded in her lap. "You won't even listen to what I have to say!"  
  
Peter stalked across the room and gripped her wrists.  
  
She gasped and jumped back in fear.  
  
Peter gritted his teeth, letting out a sigh. "That's why," he turned to make sure no one was listening and he leaned in so only MJ could hear. "You think I'm a killer, don't you Mary Jane? You're scared of me."  
  
"When you jump at me like that, yes." MJ bit her lip, holding in tears. "After everything that happened with the Goblin, Pete, I jump at anything."  
  
"Excuses..." he muttered, feeling the anger building up inside him again. He huffed, trying to calm his temper.  
  
She looked at him, her eyes darting confusingly. She wanted to be angry, wanted to slap him fiercely, but she was more shocked than anything. Something was seriously wrong here. "Tiger..."  
  
"Give it a rest, MJ. I saw the way you looked at me before. I saw the disappointment and mistrust in your eyes," he gripped MJ's wrists harder, unable to control the anger again. "How could you even think I killed Norman! You know me! You know Spider-Man!"  
  
Tears welled in her eyes now. She didn't know what hurt worse, his grip or his words. "Peter..." she gasped wide eyed. "I don't think that. I know you could never hurt anyone on purpose. I was disappointed with Harry and Aunt May for doubting Spider-Man. I know him...you... I know what your capable of and it has nothing to do with pain, with murder, with hurt or anger. Which is why I don't understand why you're so angry right now?" she whispered, voice breaking with the tears streaming down her face. "And you're hurting me ... please let go," she squeezed her eyes shut.  
  
Peter swallowed hard, blinking rapidly. He let it happen again. Anger consumed his very body again. This time he took it on the one person he never wanted to hurt. "Oh God, MJ. I didn't mean to." He slumped to his knees covering his face with his hands. "I don't know what came over me. I just need you to believe in me. I need you to have faith in me, and to think you didn't anymore..." he paused. "I just can't think straight until we talk about this. I'm sorry..." he gripped her hands in his.   
  
"I know what you must've thought Tiger. You're letting your anger cloud your actions and I'm sorry I let it happen. I know this isn't like you and we'll work it out. I am scared and confused and I don't know why Harry thinks you killed his father but I wish you'd explain. I know you didn't do it," she sighed, saddened by the state he was in. "I know you're incapable of killing someone," she squeezed his hands.  
  
"Am I?" Peter's blue eyes looked up to her. "Than tell me how I let Norman die."  
  
MJ met his eyes and shuddered despite the warmth in the house. "You feel guilty. You feel its your fault. But you didn't use your own hands. I know it."  
  
Peter looked at her with amazement. "How could you be sure?"  
  
"I love you, Peter Parker. I know you. Right now, you're acting like a big jerk who's about to get the beating of his life time from lil ol' me instead of some super villain if you don't stop acting like a pigheaded male jerk!" she shouted in a whisper. "Tell me what happened..." MJ demanded.  
  
He looked over to see Harry and Amber engrossed in conversation and looked back at MJ's red-rimmed eyes. He reached up to brush back a tear and smiled when she didn't flinch. He had to make things right with her. This day was going to be special for them and he was not going to let his stupid temper or anything else, including a leggy blonde named Amber, ruin it for them. He'd make it up to her and vowed on his webbing never to hurt her again. "OK.. I'll tell you," he stood, pulling MJ from her seat with him. "Not here though."  
  
She nodded, wiping the wetness of tears from her cheeks. "OK, fine."  
  
"We'll be right back everyone!" Peter announced, leading MJ from the house and grabbing the coats.   
  
  



	13. Between The Bell

Ok, ok try not to get too excited.... I know another chappie!!! Well I hope you're continuing to enjoy them, because otherwise it would be pointless! I'll try to keep 'em coming with the promise of seeing more reviews!! I felt this song best desribed how much Peter depends on MJ for support and obviously love. Enjoy!   
  
Bon Jovi-Thank You For Loving Me  
  
  
Chapter 13: Between The Bell  
  
It's hard for me to say the things   
I want to say sometimes   
There's no one here but you and me   
And that broken old street light   
Lock the doors   
We'll leave the world outside   
All I've got to give to you   
Are these five words when I   
  
Thank you for loving me   
For being my eyes   
When I couldn't see   
For parting my lips   
When I couldn't breathe   
Thank you for loving me   
Thank you for loving me   
  
I never knew I had a dream   
Until that dream was you   
When I look into your eyes   
The sky's a different blue   
Cross my heart   
I wear no disguise   
If I tried, you'd make believe   
That you believed my lies   
  
Thank you for loving me   
For being my eyes   
When I couldn't see   
For parting my lips   
When I couldn't breathe   
Thank you for loving me   
  
You pick me up when I fall down   
You ring the bell before they count me out   
If I was drowning you would part the sea   
And risk your own life to rescue me   
  
Lock the doors   
We'll leave the world outside   
All I've got to give to you   
Are these five words when I   
  
  
Thank you for loving me   
For being my eyes   
When I couldn't see   
You parted my lips   
When I couldn't breathe   
Thank you for loving me   
  
When I couldn't fly   
Oh, you gave me wings   
You parted my lips   
When I couldn't breathe  
Thank you for loving me  
  
Amber smiled and laughed at Harry to keep him amused. Meanwhile, her mind was thinking of ways to torture the hussy that ran off with her Peter. Of course, this Harry Osborn was quite attractive. Not to mention, filthy rich. Amber's grin turned devious. Perhaps, she would play with him after she was finished with Peter. If she ever finished with him, that was. She was sure that this time, he was the perfect one for her. If not, maybe she should invest her efforts in this man. If all else failed, once she was rid of him, she'd be rich at the least.   
  
She stared at Mr. Osborn as he went on about something or another; she wasn't paying much attention. Only when he mentioned Peter did her ears perk.  
  
"So, how long have you known Peter now?" Harry questioned.  
  
"About a week or so," Amber answered. "I felt as if I've known him forever though. He's such a great guy. He's a sweetheart."  
  
Harry raised his brows. "We talking about the same guy?" he chuckled, remembering how tongue-tied and klutzy Pete was with MJ around.   
  
"Sure!" Amber grinned. "He's a lil shy but that's cute."  
  
Harry tilted his head, amused and also a little confused. "Cute?"  
  
Amber nodded. "Yeah, he's been amazing to me. I can't help but admit I have a small crush on him," she pulled off a blush.  
  
"Hasn't Peter mentioned MJ to you?" Harry set his cup down, confusion clear in his action.  
  
"No? The redhead?" Amber asked. "He hasn't. Why do you ask?"  
  
"Huh..." Harry's brow wrinkled in thought.  
  
"It's obvious she's still pining for you, y'know?" Amber grinned, wheels turning in her head faster than she could speak.  
  
"What? MJ? Nooo..." Harry laughed. "She's totally in love with Peter."  
  
"You think?" Amber sipped her God awful eggnog. She shrugged. "Looks to me like she still has a thing for you," she trailed off in a singsong tone.  
  
Harry shook his head in disagreement. "Nah, Peter and MJ have feelings for each other. Its so obvious a blind man could see it."  
  
"I don't know..." Amber set her cup down. "So, tell me some more about how you and Peter met," she smiled innocently, yet she was anything but innocent.  
  
**********  
  
They walked quite a few blocks, stopping at a small donut shop for coffee and hot chocolate before braving the cold again. They were for the most part silent as they walked.  
  
There weren't many people around; a few strolling couples and the occasional boyfriend running up the block hoping to catch one last store open for the holiday.  
  
The crowd dwindled down to a few stranglers, as they continued and it was only then that Peter gave MJ any inclination as to where they were going and when they would stop.  
  
They headed up a sidewalk that swerved into a jungle of trees. The diminishing daylight barely peeked through the giant trees of Forest Park. It was also a good 5 degrees cooler in the shade of the giant oaks, birches and cedar beeches.  
  
Peter led her off the sidewalk and onto the crisp, frosted grass. Squirrels and chipmunks scattered across their path as they went. He led her to a small clearing where a large structure became an old wooden carousel as they drew closer. Peter knew it was one of the two last working wooden carousels known and it was a treasure to those who knew of it.   
  
Today, it stood solitary and still. All the happy, laughing kids had abandoned the carousel for Christmas.  
  
MJ came from behind him, a small purple cup in hand as she passed him. She took a precarious step up on the carousel, emitting groans and squeaks in the wood. She spun slowly, finding a seat on one of the anciently detailed wooden horses. "Well, its just you, me, and the horses, Tiger."  
  
Peter sipped his coffee, attempting to warm his insides. He shivered despite the warmth of the coffee. He looked to the sleigh seat behind the horse MJ perched on and sat there. He twirled the cup in his hands, trying to find a good place to start.   
  
"I haven't been here since I was 9 years old. I still remember Aunt May and Uncle Ben talking nonstop about a picnic and a day at the park. We would play catch and have the picnic, lay in the sun, then we'd come to the carousel and ride for hours," he reminisced, looking over the beat up carousel. "That was of course, if I wasn't examining everything I could get my hands on under my microscope."  
  
MJ huffed, a smile on her lips before she brought the cup of hot chocolate to her mouth. After taking a sip, she glanced at Peter wondering if he'd continue.   
  
He obliged. "When you're a kid, you look all over for a place that's yours, y'know? A place you go and everything feels right. When my Mom and dad were killed, I thought I'd never find a place like that again. Then Aunt May and Uncle Ben took me here and for the first time, in a long time..." he paused, mind replaying his 6 year old self discovering the carousel for the first time. "I had a place I could go when I was sad, and needed to be alone, or to think. This was even my happy place, where everything seemed right and nothing could touch me. When I got on this carousel, it was almost as good as stepping off the realm of existence, like getting sucked into a black hole," he studied MJ, hoping she was understanding what he was saying. "I feel like we're the only 2 people on the planet right now, MJ."  
  
"We're alone and there's no one here to hurt you and there's nothing you can't say to me that won't stay between us. There's nothing you can say that you need to be afraid to say," MJ assured him, touched he thought enough to have brought her here.  
  
"Today, when you looked at me like I was some killer Mary Jane..." he eyed the floor, his heart constricting. "I didn't know whether to cry or beat the wall down till my hands broke."   
  
MJ sighed, shaking her head. She eyed his bandaged hand and then her eyes met his. "Guess you chose the latter."  
  
"Or both," he muttered.  
  
"Peter... I am so sorry you misunderstood my thoughts. I know you would never purposefully hurt or kill anyone. Let alone Norman Osborn! He was always very kind to you. Why would Harry think Spider-Man killed him? I am so disappointed in him!"  
  
"He saw me... Spider-Man standing over his father's body in his room the night he died." Peter revealed.  
  
"Why Pete? Please ... tell me what happened..." MJ pleaded.  
  
"It was the Goblin," Peter spoke, moments later.  
  
MJ strained to hear him. "The Goblin killed Norman?"  
  
Peter nodded solemnly.   
  
"Why? When? How?" MJ fired off. She immediately regretted it, seeing Peter's frown.   
  
"Remember the night Aunt May went into the hospital?" Peter rolled his cup in his hands.  
  
MJ nodded. "Right after Thanksgiving."  
  
"The Goblin attacked her. Gobby figured out who I was. That's why he went after you. He knew ... how much...." Peter didn't continue, eyes riveted to the cracks of the old wooden floor.  
  
MJ nodded slowly. She sipped her cocoa, no longer needing it to keep warm her anymore. She was too stunned to be cold. "How did he know me, Tiger? How does Norman fit into all this?" MJ probed.  
  
"MJ, this goes back further. After the World Unity Festival, the Goblin attacked the Daily Bugle, knocked me out with sleeping gas. When I woke, I feared the worst. I thought he'd unmasked me-"  
  
"So that's how he knew you?"  
  
"No," Peter shook his head. "He wanted me to join him, wanted to destroy NY."  
  
MJ chuckled. "Like you'd ever do that." When he remained solemn, MJ stopped chuckling and her heart pounded.  
  
Peter swallowed hard with guilt welling in his throat for even just thinking of joining sides with that terror. "I considered it. After all the slander in the Bugle about me, people hating me, cops trying to arrest me, calling me a vigilante... I wondered what it take for their respect. I thought maybe I should become what they expected of me. What was the point if no one believes I want to help?"  
  
"Because its right." MJ offered.  
  
He nodded. "That's what I told him, but I was so angry with everyone for hating Spidey, I nearly considered it ... till ... you..." Peter met her eyes, awaiting her reaction. She gazed back, listening intently. "That night of your audition, in the rain, and we kissed."  
  
She nodded softly, afraid to do much else.   
  
"You gave me a reason to hope again. If just one person could believe in Spider-Man; just one person could see past the Bugle write-ups to the good I try to do, than maybe there was still a reason to do what was right." Peter's voice shook with emotion.  
  
MJ hopped off the horse, setting her cup down on the wooden floor. She slipped beside him in the sleigh, putting a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "I'm glad you did decide to do the right thing, regardless of me, Pete."  
  
"But see, when I thought you lost hope in me today, I felt so overcome with rage and fury, I didn't know what to do, MJ. I don't want to ever feel like that again. To think I hurt you..." he trailed off, shaking his head in disgust.  
  
"I'm stronger than you think, Tiger. I understand why you were angry now. I'm sorry you misunderstood. I really am. I could never stop having faith in you or Spidey," she stroked his hair behind his ear. "I love you, the both of you," she gave a crooked smile. "For better or worse, I have faith and love for you both."  
  
Peter returned her crooked smile. "Great, now I can be jealous of myself."  
  
Her smile filled out and she tilted her head. "Something Spidey would say," she sighed in disbelief. "I'd never believe you had it in you, Pete."  
  
"Well, you figured me out, so I can't be all that good at concealing it. The Goblin did too." Peter shrugged.  
  
"On Thanksgiving I confronted him, denying his offer. He attacked me with razor bats. The cut on my arm- the cut Aunt May noticed-"  
  
"I remember," MJ interrupted, the day coming back to replay in her memory. "We thought we heard you upstairs, but there was no there."   
  
"I was ... stuck to the ceiling praying no one would look up," Peter sighed.   
  
"Then you showed at the door and when we sat. Aunt May noticed the cut; you said it was a bike messenger that had knocked you down," MJ's eyes narrowed, her hand slipping from his shoulder. "Wait, I remember Norman reacting to your cut. He nearly flipped! He stormed out of the room so fast, and Harry got so upset."   
  
Peter could see her mind figuring it out. "Aunt May was attacked and I called you when I knew the Goblin was going after people I care for. I rushed to the bridge to save you..."  
  
"And you did! And the children." MJ reminded him.  
  
He nodded, still somber. "When the Goblin took off with me, we fought. I was damn near dead, MJ. He had me cornered, beaten the life out of me. Unfortunately for Gobby, he liked to brag too much. He threatened to hurt you again, kill you slowly-"  
  
Mary Jane shivered, huddling closer to Peter.  
  
"I'd never let anyone hurt you. I fought back, and Goblin ... revealed himself to me," Peter struggled to keep the still raw emotion in check.  
  
"As Norman Osborn," MJ finished stunned.  
  
Peter nodded silently.  
  
"Oh my God..." MJ's eyes darted across the floor, a mix of emotions ranging from fear, loathing, anger, and utter sadness for Harry.   
  
"Norman talked to me, trying to tell me the Goblin made him do these things, like a Jekyll/Hyde syndrome. I believed him, still do. I don't know how or why. He asked me for help, asked me to be like a son to him..." Peter choked, wishing he had meant to really get help. "My spider sense went off, his glider was behind me. I jumped and the glider impaled him."  
  
MJ gasped, eyes squeezed shut. "Oh Tiger..." she put her arms around him, more concerned for his comfort than for her own sanity.  
  
"He made me promise not to tell Harry. I owed them both that much. So when I brought his body back, Harry saw Spider-Man standing over his dead father. I can't blame him for thinking I killed him. In a way, I did." Peter drowned in guilt, burying his face in her shoulder.  
  
"Tiger, he killed himself. He killed the Oscorp board members, tried to kill others, myself included. He also tried to kill you again, only killing himself by mistake! You can't blame yourself for saving yourself. Norman was beyond help..."  
  
"We don't know that,"  
  
"So you should've died instead?" MJ felt tears well in her eyes. She pulled back so her eyes met his. "Peter, you're such a good man. Even after all that Norman did, you still wouldn't wish death on the man. There was nothing you could've done. You can't feel responsible for something you couldn't have changed. You can't bare the weight of the world on your shoulders everyday, all alone."  
  
"But I have to. It's my gift, my curse, its who I am, Mary Jane. I am Spider-Man. Not me and Harry or me and Aunt May or-"  
  
"You and me?" she finished. Before he could speak, she started again. "You don't have to do this alone. I want to be here, just like I am now. I want to help, Tiger."  
  
"Don't you see how dangerous it is, MJ? Because of me, you and Aunt May almost died." Peter shook his head in protest.  
  
"But we're not. We're alive because of you. If you had helped the Goblin instead or did nothing at all, we might all already be dead," MJ tried talking some sense into him.  
  
"It's my cross to bare. With great power, comes great responsibility," he stated, eyes glazed with sadness.  
  
MJ studied him closely, head tilted. She leaned into him, putting a gloved hand on his bandaged one. "There's something more, isn't there? There's something else you're not telling me yet. Some reason that makes you feel this way, makes you think its your responsibility to be a puppet for this city."  
  
Peter shivered under her ability to see right through him, to see all the pain and emotion he kept locked deep inside. He stared at her black-gloved fingers gently playing with the tie of his makeshift bandage. He didn't know what to say, didn't know how to respond. He only knew he wasn't ready to admit he'd killed his uncle, and bared all the responsibility of it.  
  
MJ saw him close up right before her eyes. He shut down completely and she knew she'd touched base with the very thing that compelled him to be Spider-Man and perhaps what also kept him from giving in to his love for her. She so desperately ached for the knowledge of his fear and guilt, what drove him to this. But, she'd have to be content with what he told her for today; she knew it was a big step for him. She nodded in understanding, letting out a deep breath. "When you're ready to tell me the rest of the story, 'll be right here."  
  
Peter felt grateful to have his burden shared and yet ached with the guilt that it had to be MJ who was on the receiving end. She deserved so much more, so much better. He gave a small half smile and reached for his coffee. "Thanks, Red."  
  
A bitter wind sliced through the air, making them both shiver. She turned his hand over in hers, examining the blood stained bandage. "Have you taken care of this?"  
  
He shrugged indifference. "Just a reminder of how I let my temper get the better of me, it'll heal fast."  
  
MJ began untying it. "Not if you don't take care of it properly. Super powers or not." She pulled the handkerchief away to reveal red swollen gashes across his knuckles. She touched them gingerly, her face contorted. "These look very painful."  
  
Peter looked at his own hand without much concern. "MJ, I'm sorry for grabbing you like that before. I'll never forgive myself for hurting you. I never should've done that, I could've-"  
  
"Hey, would you stop already," she hushed him. "Peter Parker, you have enough guilt buried inside you to drive a person insane! The last thing I want is to make you feel any more guilt, especially for something so trivial. You grabbed my wrists, big deal. I-"  
  
"But-"  
  
She put a finger to his lips. "I am fine. Your temper got the best of you and all you did was grab me. It's not like you socked me in the face. Even still, you managed to control yourself to some extent. I'm not hurt, I forgive you and if you don't forgive yourself, I'm gonna sock you in the face," she demanded.  
  
He grinned at how she took control of the conversation. "Maybe it would make me feel better if you did."  
  
"Don't tempt me, Parker," she beamed with a gleam in her eye. "I just might. Especially, if you don't put a damn smile on your face and enjoy the holidays," she slipped her scarf off her neck, rewrapping the wound.  
  
"Your scarf," he pouted.  
  
"Buy me a new one," she tucked the handkerchief in her pocket. "You need a new bandage. The other is soaked through."   
  
He warmed at her gentleness. He smiled deeply at her, his heart doing flip flops as the wind rustled the few strands of hair that escaped her clip. A long red strand blew against her face. He reached out with his good hand to brush it away from her teal eyes. His hand lingered at the corner of her lips, brushing away traces of cocoa from her lips.   
  
Her eyes looked up from her task to stare at him in wonder. He was smiling widely, dimples bright red from the cold. She felt her insides quiver knowing that smile was for her alone.  
  
"You had some cocoa on your lips," he explained, hand still residing at her cheek.  
  
"Oh," she grinned, tying off the makeshift bandage. "When we get you home, we'll have to take care of this properly."  
  
"Uh huh," he replied seemingly distracted, lost in her gorgeous eyes. His fingers absent-mindedly stroked her skin.  
  
"Feeling better now?" MJ blushed under his intense gaze and touch.  
  
His other hand came up to cup her other cheek. He leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and listened to their labored breathing for a moment. He felt his heart expand when her arms embraced him, pulling him that much closer to her. "Thank you, for believing in me."  
  
She wished for nothing more than to kiss him now and never stop. She knew that he sought comfort right now and she wasn't sure what else to do other than to hold him close.   
  
He moved his forehead from hers, to rest on her shoulder. He breathed in her sweet scent. A sense of peace settled over him. He sighed heavily, wishing he could spend everyday like this with her. Her hand roamed through his brunette locks, comforting him. He snuggled deeper into her neck, lips pressed against her collarbone. He felt the warmth of her skin on his lips and he yearned to kiss her.  
  
She rested her cheek against his soft hair, relishing in his close presence. She stroked the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in his brunette locks. She closed her eyes and smiled when his lips tickled her throat. She yearned to know what his lips could do to the rest of her.  
  
Minutes later he finally lifted his head from her sanctuary and gave a weak smile. "We should head back. Aunt May 'll have a cow if we miss dinner."  
  
MJ agreed, a small smile of her own on her lips. "That she will," she stood, grabbing her cocoa which was quite cold now. She raised her brows and stepped off the carousel. "We have plenty of presents to open too."  
  
Peter watched her walk off to throw her cup away. He looked around at the carousel and admired the rickety, old structure once more. It was his salvation for many years in his childhood. His eyes scanned the forest for MJ, falling on her red head as she tossed her cup away. Perhaps MJ could be his new salvation?  
  
He stood, cup in hand. One last glance at the wooden horses and he hopped off into the grass. He followed MJ's footprints to throw his cup away and met her at the entrance of the forest. "Ready?"  
  
She wrapped her arm around his and smiled. "Ready, Tiger."  
  
  



	14. Sound The Bell

Ok, so whats it been, forever since I updated? I know, I know I'm the scum of the earth for making everyone wait!!! I apologize and for those that still do care and can't wait to read more on the story, I hope not to dissapoint you all and I again apologize for the long delays and appreciate your patience, your interest still in this fic and ask for your sympathy. My father has been ill and real life has once again reared its ugly head and reminded me that real life comes first and the fanfic world second. Anyway, I will do my best to produce chapters as quickly as I can and I pray to have this fic finished before Spidey 2. I WILL do my best to have it finished!! We are nearing the half-way point so I wouldn't have come this far if I didn't intend to finish. Without further waiting here is Chapter 14.   
  
Oh, the song is Anything For You by 112, I really couldn't find the song I wanted so this one seemed to fit the most of what I found since Peter agrees to do something for MJ in this chapter. :)   
  
  
Chapter 14: Sound the Bell  
  
Anything for You:112  
  
I can't believe  
Only years ago,  
All I really wanted  
Was to be with you, baby  
I can't imagine how  
To live my life without you  
I'll do anything for you  
  
'Cause I'm all turned out  
I don't know what to do  
I feel so down and out  
I wish somebody tell me  
Hurry up and tell me  
What love is all about  
Girl you're drivin' me crazy  
Can't you see baby  
You can't leave me alone  
I'll do anything for you  
  
You knew there's  
Nothin' I would not do  
I'll try to cross the  
Seven seas to be  
With you, baby  
Just believe that   
I can make your  
Wishes come true  
'Cause I'll do  
Anything for you  
  
  
So many times  
I wonder  
There's a limit  
Through this all  
Girl to me, to me  
All that I  
Know is that  
When it comes to you  
There are no  
Limits  
  
Wish somebody tell me  
Wish somebody tell me  
Ooh  
Oh girl, girl you're  
Drivin' me crazy  
Drivin' me crazy  
Can't you see baby, ooh  
Girl I'll do  
Anything for you  
Girl I'll do anything baby  
Anything for you  
  
I love you baby  
  
  
  
  
  
They made it back to Aunt May's just as she was putting the food on the table.  
  
"We're back!" Peter informed, hanging his and MJ's coats up.  
  
MJ walked past him. "I'll go get the first aid kit, Tiger. Don't disappear."  
  
Peter nodded, with a smile.   
  
"Hey!" Harry called, sitting at the table.   
  
"Just in time," Aunt May meant to lecture, but the smiles on the two children's faces was worth the waiting.  
  
"Sorry," he apologized sheepishly, taking a seat opposite of Harry and Amber. He smiled at the blonde. "Hope you weren't bored."  
  
"Oh no! Harry was telling me some very interesting stories about the both of you," she grinned, not being able to imagine what the man before her looked like with geeky glasses and a nerdy demeanor.  
  
Peter blushed, eyeing Harry. "Oh boy... "  
  
"Don't worry Pete, your status as a hunk is still in good standing," Harry winked playfully.  
  
Amber smiled at Peter purposefully. "Definitely."  
  
Peter's face grew more crimson.   
  
"Hey Tiger, lets fix you up," MJ strolled into the room causally, a first aid kit in hand.  
  
"What happened?" rang out in unison.  
  
Peter looked at Harry and Aunt May, then to MJ.  
  
"Neighbor's dog," Amber informed, wondering if it were a lie. She stared at Peter weighing his reaction.  
  
"Oh good heavens, Peter, you really do have a knack for getting into trouble," Aunt May tsked as she started serving the roast. "Especially before holiday dinners."   
  
MJ breathed a small sigh of relief, when May didn't press the issue further as she administered an antibiotic cream to the cuts.   
  
"Comes with being a klutz I guess," he shrugged sheepishly.   
  
Once MJ was finished, May instructed her to take a seat and they said grace. There was complete silence for a few moments as they filled their plates up. As dinner went on, small talk started in between bites of food.  
  
"So how long have you been in the city, Amber?" Harry asked curiously.  
  
"A few weeks, I used to live way out on the island," she answered.  
  
"I have some cousins out there," Harry smiled. "It's a nice place. Your parents still there?"  
  
"Uh, no..." she set her fork on her plate to take a drink. "They're still in Boston. I think. I left home when I was 16."   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry for prying."  
  
"Don't be silly. I just wanted to go to school in NY," Amber shrugged it off. "How bout you? Your family in the city?"  
  
Harry grimaced. "Aside from my cousins, that's all that's left of my family."  
  
MJ eyed Peter and immediately spoke, seeing his face cloud with guilt. "My sister is far off too. My parent's live next door."  
  
"Oh, how come they didn't come for dinner?" Amber smiled politely, but inside she wanted to jump the table and strangle the redheaded princess.   
  
MJ sighed, knowing she put her foot in her mouth. "We don't get along."   
  
"And how bout you, Peter?" Amber asked.  
  
"Aunt May is my family," Peter informed, smiling at his aunt. "And Harry and MJ."   
  
"That's right," MJ reached across to squeeze his hand. "Family."  
  
"Pete has been like a brother to me," Harry nodded. "He was right there for me when my father was murdered."  
  
"Oh, Harry... I'm so sorry..." Amber frowned, feeling little sympathy at all for him. Her sympathy was with Peter. Harry mentioned Peter's parents had been murdered when he was just a little boy.   
  
"Spider-Man will pay," he said forcefully sticking his fork into the roast.  
  
"Huh?" Amber's fork clattered to the plate.  
  
"He murdered my father...."  
  
"But he saved my life!" Amber chuckled. "He can't be bad."  
  
"He'll probably kill you later," Harry huffed.  
  
Now MJ's fork hit the plate. "Harry Osborn! He saved my life three times! Twice from that awful Green Goblin! How could you say such a thing?!"   
  
"MJ! I saw him with my father's body!"   
  
"Calm down please, everyone!" Aunt May shouted as things spun out of control.  
  
"Maybe your father was in the wrong place at the wrong time and Spidey tried to save him," MJ offered.  
  
"Mary Jane..." Peter's voice warned.   
  
"No, Peter! I know Spider-Man's a good man!"   
  
"Is he even a man? No one knows anything about him, Mary Jane..." May frowned.   
  
"I know him!" MJ shot out of her seat. "I know enough to decide whether he's good or bad. He saved me and a cable car full of people, not to mention the crimes he stops everyday."  
  
"Stops or starts. He's a glory hound! Don't you read the Bugle?!" Harry pounded his fist on the table.  
  
"Now, wait a sec!" Amber huffed. "Peter and I work at the Bugle. J. Jonah Jameson doesn't know what he's talking about!"  
  
"I wish you'd stop photographing him, Peter. I fear for your safety," May shook her head in disapproval. "People may think you in cohorts with him."  
  
Peter sighed, with a frown as he rubbed his temples in a vain effort to fight back the building migraine.  
  
"You're wrong Aunt May. Spider-Man isn't evil. He's a good man trying to do good with his powers..." MJ sunk to her seat, before she lost control and shouted something she shouldn't.   
  
"Just how well do you know Spider-Man, MJ? Are you like, involved?" Amber's eyes met the other woman's. "Call it my journalistic intuition, but I think you have a thing for this guy." Which was very interesting considering she also seemed to have feelings for Peter. Maybe she could expose MJ for the tramp she is...  
  
MJ's face flushed red. "What? No!"  
  
"You did tell me he was incredible, MJ," Harry eyes narrowed. "How could you have a crush on that monster?"  
  
"I don't!" MJ demanded.  
  
"Leave her alone guys! If anyone knows Spider-Man well enough its me." Peter shouted, drawing the shouting away from MJ.  
  
"What?!" Aunt May's eyes widened.   
  
MJ's eyes mirrored May's shock, but for a different reason. "Peter, don't..."  
  
"No, MJ..." he silenced her with a look. "I'm the one who photographs the guy all the time."  
  
"Great, next time he strikes a pose ask him why he murdered my father!" Harry snarled. "Better yet, tell him to drop dead!" Harry tossed his napkin on the table and jumped out of his seat.  
  
"Harry! Please!" May frowned. "Everyone please calm down! It's Christmas Eve for land sakes!"   
  
"Harry, I'm sorry. I don't know what happened with your father and I don't know the story, but its my job and you know I have to keep doing it." Peter apologized. "I'm sooo sorry."   
  
MJ remained silent, watching the two men with sorrow.   
  
Harry cooled a bit, coming back to his seat. "I understand, Peter. But, it doesn't change my opinion of him. Even if he did save Amber and Mary Jane."  
  
"We all have a difference of opinion on him. Let's forget about him and talk about something else," May put a hand over Harry's to calm him down.  
  
"All right," Harry nodded. "I'm sorry everyone."  
  
MJ looked at Peter from the corner of his eye. His fork played with his food, and he had a sullen look to his eyes.  
  
Amber saw MJ staring at Peter. Her Peter. She had to find a way to bring the girl down. Her eyes narrowed studying the woman's picture perfect features. "So what do you do, Mary Jane?"   
  
MJ was shocked by Amber's question. She got the distinct impression the girl didn't want to know anything about MJ, no matter how nice she seemed. "I'm an actress, thinking about modeling too."  
  
"Oh. How nice." Amber plastered a smile. *Typical.* "So what are you acting in now? Are you on Broadway?"  
  
"No, not yet. I'm not acting at the moment." MJ felt meek and worthless suddenly. She stared at her plate, gritting her teeth. It felt like she were back in the house next door again, her father laughing at her dreams and calling her a waste of good looks. Amber's smile was so fake it made MJ's stomach turn.  
  
"Well, I'm sure you'll get something soon. You have a pretty face," Amber grinned, knowing she had gotten to the girl.  
  
"She can act too," Peter smiled at the redhead. "She's gonna blow Broadway away when they finally come to their senses."  
  
"I'm sure she will. You should try a soap opera. I hear they're always looking for fresh faces," Amber informed, trying to remain as polite as possible.  
  
"I have," MJ muttered, remembering what a disaster that was.  
  
"Oh dear. Well, something will come along, I'm sure. Maybe modeling will work out better for you," she clapped her hands together. "In fact, I know a great magazine photographer back on the island - Tomas. Maybe I can hook something up."  
  
"That's so sweet of you, Amber." Peter smiled at her, again impressed by her unending selfless deeds.  
  
Amber grinned pleased with herself.  
  
"That's all right, thanks anyway," MJ declined.  
  
"Well, you do need a portfolio dear," she informed.  
  
"Yes, I do. I already have someone in mind," MJ nearly snapped at the annoying bimbo.  
  
"No one is better than Tomas!" Amber almost huffed.   
  
"Who'd you have in mind Mary Jane?" May smiled, ignoring the blonde woman who she was quickly disliking more and more.  
  
"Peter," MJ smiled.  
  
Once again, but not involving coffee this time, Peter choked on his drink and nearly spat out a mouthful of soda.   
  
Amber raised her brows.  
  
Harry chuckled with amusement.  
  
MJ shot an apologetic smile to him and gave his back a pat. "Well, whaddya say, Tiger?"  
  
"Me?" he squeaked.  
  
"Uh huh," MJ nodded.   
  
"Take pictures? Of you?" more squeaking.  
  
"Yes," MJ chuckled.  
  
"Like, posing and getting all dressed up and smiling at the camera?" his eyes were wide just thinking of MJ looking perfectly gorgeous and smiling seductively at him. His heart pounded heavily.  
  
Amber growled at his flustered state. *Please...*  
  
MJ giggled, watching the blush creep up his face. "Please? You know I can't afford some big time guy and I loved the pictures you took in high school! I'd feel really uncomfortable with anyone else. Besides, I think you'd be perfect for the job."  
  
"Of course," Amber snipped.  
  
MJ ignored her, eyes locked on Peter.  
  
Peter, of course was thrilled and yet nervous about the idea of photographing MJ. He was afraid when he saw that thousand watt smile of hers, directed at his camera looking all kinds of beautiful, he wouldn't be able to control himself. He would wind up saying all the things he yearned to say to her and it would get very hot, very fast. *It was hot now, wasn't it?* He tugged on his shirt collar, feeling his insides threatening to incinerate. He swallowed hard, and rubbed the back of his neck. He met MJ's pleading eyes and knew he'd say yes no matter how much his conscious screamed at him to say no. One look at those eyes had him hooked. He took a deep breath. Nothing would happen. He'd just take her picture and that be it. *Yeah, right.* "Sure, Mary Jane. I'd be honored." He managed to speak without squeaking.  
  
MJ's smile went from ear to ear.   
  
There it was. That giant smile he hoped would be for him all through high school. And now, there it was, all for him. He felt his insides turn to mush and he felt very much like the shy, nerdy geek he once was, and probably still was deep down. He managed a wobbly smile back.  
  
Amber's anger fueled at the two making stupid smiles at each other. "Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom," she shot up quickly, making it to the bathroom before her anger exploded.  
  
Peter watched Amber rush off and a confused expression settled on his face.  
  
MJ quirked an eyebrow. "Wonder what her problem is..."  
  
Harry stared at the path the fuming blonde took and shrugged. "Maybe the food didn't agree with her."  
  
"I won't take that as an insult to my cooking, Harry," Aunt May gave a wry grin.  
  
Harry gave an apologetic look. "Sorry."  
  
"It was delicious, Aunt May," MJ finished off her drink. "Thank you again."  
  
Peter nodded in agreement. "It certainly was."   
  
********  
  
In the bathroom, Amber gripped the sides of the sink, her knuckles turning as white as the porcelain. She gritted her teeth in fury staring at her cold-hard self in the mirror. Strands of black waved through her hair and she forced the anger down, forced back the magic of her disguise. It wasn't time for the Widow Maker's appearance just yet.  
  
She released her death grip from the sink before she would break the porcelain in her bare hands. She walked in a small circle, trying to control the anger that swelled in her, pushing her to step outside this damn bathroom and stride across the room and grip that floozy's red hair and yank her head right off.  
  
"That would be delightful, but not just yet. We have to wait. We have to make him hate her, her hate him," she spoke to herself. "Then he'll be mine. No one stops me from getting what I want," she turned, looking purposefully in the mirror. Shrouds of midnight black filled her eyes, swirling. "Not anymore."  
  
********* 


	15. TKO

Ok, so I managed another chapter quickly, don't get too excited in the next chap I am stuck!!! Hopefully I'll get unstuck very soon and be able to shoot the next chapter to you!! Thanks for the reviews so quickly as well, it really makes all the difference in the world to me to know you guys are still interested in this fic :) It really helps me pump out the story! So Read and Review!!!!! :)   
  
I chose this song because it reminded me of MJ and the strength she digs down deep to find at the end of this chapter. She really is a gorgeous soul and I wanted ehr ability to stand up for herself to be seen. I was hoping for something lighter and more a 'you go girl' song as opposed to a ballad, but short of using 'bitch' this song seemed best LOL Enjoy!   
  
  
The Voice Within- Christina Aguilera  
  
Young girl don't cry  
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall  
Young girl it's alright  
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly  
  
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream  
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems  
No one ever wants or bothers to explain  
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means  
  
When there's no one else, look inside yourself  
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within  
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way  
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within  
  
Young girl don't hide  
You'll never change if you just run away  
Young girl just hold tight  
Soon you're gonna see your brighter day  
  
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed  
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid  
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold  
When you look outside look inside to your soul  
  
When there's no one else, look inside yourself  
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within  
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way  
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within  
  
Life is a journey  
It can take you anywhere you choose to go  
As long as you're learning  
You'll find all you'll ever need to know  
(Be strong)  
You'll break it  
(Hold on)  
You'll make it  
Just don't forsake it because  
No one can tell you what you can't do  
No one can stop you, you know that I'm talking to you  
  
When there's no one else, look inside yourself  
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within  
Then you'll find the strength that will guide your way  
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within  
  
Young girl don't cry I'll be right here when your world starts to fall  
  
  
Chapter 15: TKO  
  
"C'mon Aunt May, I think we're almost done," Peter chuckled at his aunt.   
  
At the moment she was surrounded by tons of wrapping paper and a smile of disbelief crossed her elder features. Her hands cupped her cheeks as she slowly took in all the mess. "I've never seen so many presents in my life!" she replied. "Not that 'm ungrateful dears; you've all been wonderful."   
  
"I'm glad you like the locket," MJ grinned, pleased with the smile on the older woman's face. She loved the woman like her own aunt and as soon as she saw the locket she immediately thought of May.   
  
"Mary Jane, it was very thoughtful of you. I have just the perfect picture of Peter and Ben for it too." May informed, dangling the gold locket in front of her eyes.  
  
"Who's next?" Harry sorted through presents on the floor. "We've been at this for an hour now, and there's still atleast another twenty presents under here."  
  
"Here, Harry," MJ handed him a green wrapped box with a silver bow. "I was hoping you'd accept this as a token of peace. But since we've been there, done that, just call it a Christmas present." she teased. "You've been giving so many, its time to recieve."  
  
"MJ, how sweet!" Harry grinned goofily. "Thank you.." he tore open the wrapping to reveal his favorite cologne. "My favorite! You remembered!"  
  
"How could I forget, you drown yourself in it," MJ teased, snorting.  
  
Peter chuckled as Harry glared at her feigning anger.   
  
"Aww, that was really nice of you to remember his favorite cologne." Amber smiled with a hinting tone, sitting in an armchair surrounded by a few small gifts from Peter and one from the old lady. An ugly pink scarf. *Pink yeegghh.*   
  
MJ couldn't help but notice the undertone in her voice and she was more sure than ever that the girl was interested in Peter. Her eyes came to Peter who seemed quite oblivous to her tone. *Just like a man...* she thought. He was too wrapped up in some new electronic microscope Harry had gotten him. MJ's only fascination with it were the many colored buttons she longed to play with.   
  
"Well MJ, this is my last gift to you," Harry handed her a gold box. "Now, don't think its an offer or anything. I figure, since you're gonna need new modeling photos, this might come in handy."  
  
MJ stared at him with a funny look. "What is it?"   
  
Harry grinned at Peter. "Pete 'll appreciate it 'm sure." he winked.  
  
Peter felt color creeping up his cheeks.  
  
MJ tore open the gold box and pulled away tissue paper to reveal a satin cloth. She lifted the cloth and it tumbled out into a long, off-white dress with sleeves that hung just off the shoulders and a slit that would make anyone but a long-legged model shameful. It criss-crossed with laces in the back, with a low cut bodice in the front. She gaped at it before her lips spread into a smile. "Harry Osborn!!!"   
  
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck to hide the crimson coloring his cheeks. "Is that it?"  
  
Peter watched in confusion. "Huh?"   
  
Amber stared at the flimsy cloth that MJ considered gorgeous, registering distate.   
  
Aunt May knew MJ would be stunning in the dress; she only wish she understood why Harry bought her one.   
  
"Yes!!!" she giggled, feet stomping like a child with too much energy. She placed it back in the box and leapt at him, giving him a big hug.   
  
Peter's heart leapt in jealousy almost immediately. He watched her with confusion wondering just why this dress was so meaningful. He lowered his gaze, hoping the pangs of jealously would lessen if he didn't watch.   
  
MJ's giddyness finally calmed enough to register the fact that everyone was staring at her. She took a deep breath, sitting back down at the couch beside Aunt May. She noted the look on Peter's face and almost felt guilty for the look of jealousy playing on his features. Then she felt empowered by it. *Good* she thought. *Let him know how it feels for a change.* Then immediately felt guilty again. She should explain.   
  
"A long time ago, Harry and I were at this modeling show. One of the models came out in this dress and I fell in love with it. I drooled over it all night. I could never afford it of course, but the ever persistant Harry never could let any of his friends be unhappy." she paused, admiring the fabric once again. "I was so sure that if I could find a dress as beautiful as that, and the right photographer, I'd have the perfect portfolio." she grinned, looking at Peter. "Now that I do, I might just stand a chance!"  
  
Amber snorted softly. *Fat chance princess. You'll be lucky I let you live long enough to even wear it.*   
  
"You don't need a dress to make you beautiful, MJ. You make the dress beautiful. Ain't that right, Pete?" Harry nudged his friend's leg.  
  
Peter smiled with a nod. "Yup." he found MJ's eyes staring at him and a gentle smile on her lips. He felt his heart pound, forgetting any jealousy he felt. When she smiled at him like that, nothing else mattered.   
  
"Well, with that said..." MJ stood, recovering a few boxes from under the tree. "Merry Christmas, Tiger. Don't consider this at all selfish on my part." she winked, sitting on the arm of the chair beside him.  
  
"MJ..." he gasped looking at all the boxes she set in front of him. "This is too much!"   
  
"Don't be silly," she put a hand on his shoulder. *Sure it cost me every last cent of my paycheck, and my half of the rent is overdue a month, but for you... its worth it.* "Go on, open them! I'm dying to know these aren't totally useless to you."  
  
Peter grinned not needing a second invitation. He tore open each box and soon found himself buried under tons of camera equipment. He didn't know how MJ knew what to buy; he was sure it was partly because she knew his secret. The timers, wide lenses and flash bulbs led him to believe that. But, the other supplies, things he ached for, staring at in the window for months knowing he'd never afford them, how did she know?   
  
He glanced up at her and wanted nothing more than to devour her in kisses. He settled for touching her cheek and giving her his warmest, brightest smile. "Mary Jane..."  
  
She felt her pulse accelerate rapidly and her world spun from his touch. She fought every urge to bend down and kiss that smile. She smiled back, playing with one of the lenses in her hands. "Can you use this stuff?"  
  
Peter laughed happily. "Definitely. I can't believe this! I've been dieing to have new equipment! These are the best presents I could've asked for! How'd you know?!"  
  
Amber snarled across the room. This put her camera case to shame! The woman would pay for embarassing her.  
  
"Well, I know you needed some wider lenses and brighter flashes for all those Spider-Man pictures you take. Timers too," she spoke, hoping she wasn't giving too much away.  
  
"Yeah, those will be good!" he nodded entranced with the gadget in his hand.  
  
"And the timers will leave you time to get set up and change-"  
  
"Camera's... Right... change cameras..." Peter stared at her wide eyed after he interuppted.  
  
She put a hand to her mouth realizing she almost slipped up.  
  
"Timers? Why don't you just snap the pictures on your own, Peter?" Harry asked brow wrinkled in confusion.  
  
"Well, with timers... I can use different cameras and get all angles on Spider-Man..." Peter thought quickly.  
  
"Hmm, really?" he huffed, remaining silent in contemplation as if he pondered Pete's answer. "Excuse me everyone. Something just came to my attention " Harry stood, with his brow knitted in thought, leaving the room in a hurry.  
  
Peter and MJ shared a worried look. Peter's face filled with fear as the tingling in the back of his neck warned him of danger.  
  
"Mary Jane, how wonderful! Peter's been asking me and Ben for this stuff for years." May smiled, pleased to know her nephew was happy.  
  
MJ was distracted by the quick leave Harry took, but managed to smile at her distractedly.  
  
Peter stood, pulling MJ with him. "Excuse us a minute," they stepped into the archway between the living room and dining room.  
  
Then, Harry appeared with a wide smile. "Where are you running off to?! I've got good news for you two!"   
  
MJ began to panic, assuming the worst. "Harry..."  
  
Peter swallowed hard, but tilted his head in confusion. There was no warning from his spider sense anymore. Atleast, not from Harry. Pete wrinkled his brow in confusion. Where could it be coming from? He turned, knowing MJ still thought Harry figured something out. "Wait... Harry has something to tell us."  
  
MJ's eyes widened at him, but she played along.  
  
"Yeah, you two. I just made a few calls..."  
  
"On Christmas Eve?" Aunt May said in disbelief.  
  
"It's no big deal," Harry waved it off. "I got in contact with a friend of mine. He's willing to lend you two his studio for your photographs, MJ. Just say the word and its the both of yours for the day."  
  
MJ looked from Peter to Harry and back again in shock. "Really?"  
  
"Absolutely! You've got a pro photographer, but you gotta have a pro studio too!" Harry played with his cell. "We gotta do all we can to get that gorgeous face plastered all over Broadway, don't we, Pete?"  
  
MJ's smile returned to her lips and she clapped her hands together in excitement. "No way!!"   
  
"Yes way! He said come in anytime, but the sooner the better," Harry chuckled, thrilled with MJ's reaction.  
  
Peter sighed in relief and smiled at Harry. "Thanks Har. That'll be great."  
  
Amber glared at them, fuming. She wouldn't tolerate much more. She formed fists, her nails biting into her skin.  
  
"Harry! Thank you soo much!" MJ shook her head in disbelief.  
  
"It's the least I can do for my friends." Harry shrugged, sitting in Peter's vacant seat.  
  
MJ raised her brows at Peter in a sign of relief. She made a move to sit again.  
  
"Peter, Mary Jane..." May grinned at them like the cat who ate the canary.  
  
"What?" Peter chuckled nervously at the grin his aunt was giving them. What was she up to now?   
  
"You two can't sit yet!" May's grin only grew if it were possible.  
  
"Why not?" MJ laughed in confusion.  
  
"You have a tradition to uphold!" May smirked with a hinting tone. She looked above them, pointing out what made her so happy.  
  
Peter and MJ's eyes turned up to find the sprigs of green leaves and hollyberry dangling over their heads.  
  
MJ grinned. *Mistletoe.* She looked expectantly to Peter. *Wonder how he'll talk his way outta this one...*  
  
He glared accusingly at Aunt May, knowing she put it there for one purpose. He could kiss his aunt for the opportunity. Peter's eyes fell on the redheaded beauty before him. He gave her what he hoped to be a sexy grin. "Wouldn't want to break tradition now would we, Red?"  
  
MJ nearly fainted, her knees going weak at the thought of being able to kiss him. Even worse, the fact he wanted to kiss her sent her heart into a speed sure to give her a heart attack! She swooned and nearly collapsed into his arms. "Never."  
  
Peter's heart pounded against his ribs so hard he wondered if it were possible to burst from the inside out. He caught MJ in his grasp, her body pressed against his. He held her steady with one hand and with the other, reached out to brush away scarlett strands of hair from her face. He lost himself in the swirls of green and blue dancing in her eyes. She was so close, he could feel her warm, sweet breath hitting his face. Only when her eyes fluttered close did he break eye contact with her radiant orbs.  
  
MJ's breath grew deep with anticipation and she didn't know how much longer she'd last without the feel of his lips. She was caught in his cerulean eyes that twinkled like jewels. Her hands were pressed against his muscular chest, bracing herself. One hand slid up his chest to his neck and into his hair, lacing into his locks. She sighed when his hand came to brush her hair off her face and her eyes fluttered closed with the rush of heat from his touch.   
  
Her heartbeat seized when she could feel the softness of his lips brushing hers. Her breath caught when they came crashing on hers. She let out a soft moan and returned his lips with her own. She pulled him closer, buried in his grasp. Her lips roamed over his, and she gripped onto his neck for dear life when his tongue danced over hers in heated passion. She matched every movement with her own and her heart burst with love over and over again just from his kiss. She was quite sure she'd never kissed anyone with more possession and passion, with more tenderness and care, with her eyes shut so tightly and her heart so filled with love before. No one had ever kissed her as thoroughly as Peter, whether it was right side up or upside down. She'd never been kissed this way before and she was sure no one could ever kiss her like that again.  
  
As for Peter, if it weren't for his spider strength he'd have collapsed from want the moment the kiss started. He was virtually unexperienced as a kisser, but he was positive it wasn't supposed to feel this good. Her mouth was sweet and he wanted to devour her until they were both breathless. The way her tongue played against his made his entire body go up in flames. His hands wandered into her red locks and he pushed her mouth harder on his. Memories of kissing her in the rain upside down flooded his head and he never thought any kiss could ever compare to that one. Needless to say, that got shot down very quickly. The kiss at the grave had been bittersweet, but he still enjoyed the feel of her on him, but again, it could not compare to the very kiss he was in the process of giving and recieving.   
  
When he thought they'd die from suffocation, and he was sure they needed to pull back and breathe, there came another burst from MJ that sent his emotions into overdrive and the kiss only deepened.  
  
Amber's eyes widened with a rage she knew would overcome her in a moment. She was already fighting the strain to stay seated and not show these people her fury full force. Blackness filled her heart, and her eyes. Her fists clenched so hard, she knew she'd broken her skin with her nails. Her teeth were gritted together so hard, her head throbbed with the effort. She would kill her. Slowly. Torture her to there was nothing left to her. Her poison would seep into her veins and she'd wilt away to nothing. As for Peter. She'd make him pay as well. Her patience with him was growing thin. She wanted him and she should have him! That she swore. If he would not accept her he would suffer the same fate as that bitch.  
  
Peter's neck tingled and for a moment he thought it was just from the passion of MJ's kiss, but he knew better. His spider sense flared rapidly, danger enclosing itself around them. He pulled away from MJ's lips violently and pulled her at arm's length, with wide eyes. He stared at the girl hard, wondering what was making his spider sense go insane. MJ stared at him with confusion and dissapoint. He turned from MJ, trying to find the source of danger.  
  
"What is it, Tiger?" she whispered, heartbroken by their kiss being ended so hastily. She knew the look on his face meant something was up, his spider sense or whatever he called it.  
  
"Peter?" May frowned, seeing her nephew's worry. "What's wrong?"   
  
The tingling lessened with each gasping breath he took. His eyes were wild around the room, wondering why his senses were playing games with him. Surely, kissing MJ didn't bring him danger? When the sensation faded completely, he rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath. His lips were still tingling from her kiss.   
  
"N-n-nothin..." he stammered, eyes falling back on MJ. He gave her a apologetic smile. "Sorry..."  
  
MJ's lips felt swollen and bruised from the power of his lips and she grinned, loving the feel of it. His hair was tousled and his lips were bright red from her crushing kiss matched with her lipstick. She reached out, rubbing the ruby color from his equally swollen lips. She nodded at his apology. She leaned closer, within whispering distance and smiled at him. "Red looks good on you, Tiger..." she smirked, rubbing the rest of the lipstick off. Her lips came to his ear. "That beats any kiss in the rain I've ever had." she kissed his ear before pulling away, a giant smile on her lips.  
  
Peter's heart palpitated in a inhuman pattern. He gripped his chest over his heart and sighed as she danced away, hips swaying. That woman would be the death of him!  
  
***********   
  
An hour or so later, Harry was preparing to leave.  
  
"Leaving, Harry?" Amber sauntered up to him with a digustingly sweet smile plastered on her face.  
  
"Yes, I'm on my way out." Harry paused in putting on his coat. He smiled at Amber. "Would you be interested in a ride home?"  
  
Amber pondered the thought of riding home in a beautiful car or limo. She glanced over her shoulder at Peter, who was in deep conversation with his aunt. That red-headed twit had gone next door to visit her pitiful broken family. There was no more she could do here tonight, at least as Amber. She'd go home, regroup and start fresh. Amber's smile turned delicious with the thought of that wench Betty Brant laid up in a hospital. Soon Mary Jane would be beside her, or better yet, in the morgue. Yes, she needed time to think on a plan. So she turned to the hopeful Harry who seemed quite interested in her and smiled. "That would be lovely."  
  
Harry smiled, pleased. He helped her put on her coat. He motioned to Peter and Aunt May.  
  
Peter and Aunt May came over with smiles.   
  
"Leaving, Har?" he shook his friend's hand.  
  
"Yeah, time to head home. Pete, Aunt May its been great, thank you so much for a wonderful holiday. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas tomorrow." Harry hugged his friends.  
  
"Leaving too, dear?" May took notice to Amber's coat.  
  
"Yes, Harry was kind enough to offer a ride home," Amber smiled politely, wanting to swipe that fake smile off the old lady's face.  
  
"How nice of you, Harry," May smiled at the boy. "You two take care with getting home. Looks like it could snow!"  
  
"Wouldn't that be nice?" Amber buttoned her coat.  
  
"Been a long time since we had a white Christmas," Harry agreed.  
  
Pete was lost to the conversation, his mind on MJ next door. He hoped her father was gone and it was going well. He was hoping she'd let him go with her, in case her father tried anything, but she insisted it was something she had to do on her own. He admired her courage and confidence.  
  
It still didn't make him want to protect her any less.  
  
Amber saw the distraction in him and took the time to grip him by his shoulders and planted a kiss on his lips, refusing to pull away until she was satisfied he knew the taste of her lips. "Merry Christmas, Peter."  
  
Pete stared at her stunned. His lips stung with betrayal and he was wide eyed. He cleared his throat and smiled when she gave him a sweet, innocent smile. *She didn't mean anything by it, Pete. It was just a friendly kiss.*  
  
She patted his cheek. "See you at the Bugle."  
  
"Night," he replied, too stunned to say anything more. He was just glad MJ wasn't around.  
  
Harry gave him a wry grin, seeing the confusion and shock in his friend's eyes. He winked at him as Amber stepped down onto the sidewalk outside. "Don't worry, Pete, 'll take her off your hands. Go give that redhead another kiss."  
  
Peter shook his head with a small laugh. "Merry Christmas, Har."  
  
Once the two had pulled off in the Rolls Royce, May cleared her throat. She watched her nephew, who stood by the door which - was cracked open just a bit - so he could peer at the house next door.  
  
Peter continued to stare, even as Aunt May put a hand on his shoulder.   
  
"I have some dishes to clean, dear. Don't stand here too long. You'll catch a cold." May warned, then set off for the kitchen knowing he wouldn't move till MJ returned.  
  
**********  
  
Earlier:  
  
MJ started up her steps with care. She attempted to peek in the window and see if the wretched man was home, but the blinds were drawn. With a shaky hand, she reached out and pressed the doorbell.  
  
Part of her wanted to run away as soon as she pressed it. The other part told her she was strong and brave and capable of handling the man if he was home. She stood up to him the day of Norman's funeral, she could stand up to him now.  
  
Moments passed and no one came to answer the door.  
  
MJ bit her lip, tears forming in her eyes. She glance back to the Parker house. *Peter.* she trembled. *Oh, Peter, I can't do this alone. Why did I ever allow you to let me go alone?!* She took a step down, frantic for Peter's comfort.   
  
Thats when the footsteps sounded at the door.   
  
MJ froze.  
  
The door creaked open.   
  
Her eyes looked up to the door. She was sure she resembled a deer caught in headlights waiting to see who would answer the door.  
  
"MJ..."  
  
MJ's fear subsided and her heart swelled. "Momma!"   
  
The screen door swung open and an older, and less attractive version of MJ herself stood at the door. Her red hair had grown less vibrant, her eyes sunken and lost looking, and her figure lost to years of smoking, drinking and quitting them both.  
  
MJ rushed up the steps into the arms of her mother. "Merry Christmas!!!"  
  
"Oh, Mary Jane!!!!" she yelped, hugging her daughter close. She rocked her in her arms, like a mother would an infant. "Merry Christmas, sweet Mary Jane."  
  
They held onto each other for quite a bit of time.  
  
Finally, Mrs. Watson pulled back to look at her daughter. "You look gorgeous, MJ!"  
  
MJ smiled her thanks.  
  
"C'mon in dear. It's gotten so cold out!" Madeline Watson pulled her daughter into the warm home.  
  
MJ glanced around wondering if anything had changed. It all seemed the same. The house still wreaked of smoke and alcohol. It made a shiver creep down her spine. Though the house was warmer than the cold wind outside, MJ found the outside more comforting. She hugged her coat tightly around her. She turned to her mother.  
  
Madeline saw the fear and anger all rolled into one, on her face and in her eyes. She frowned, wishing she had the strength her daughter had to leave the man that struck fear in their hearts. She knew MJ would go running the moment Philip Watson stepped foot back in this house. "He's not home at the moment."  
  
MJ relaxed a little, arms coming to rest at her sides.   
  
"Come see the tree, Mary Jane. I hoped you'd come by. I have a few presents for you." Madeline led her daughter into the living room, showing her the tree.   
  
MJ noted that it was the only thing that was left untainted by the smoke and alcohol in the house. It was the only thing left of beauty. "It's very pretty." she breathed in the scent of the pine needles.  
  
Madeline bent down to retrieve 3 boxes. "These are for you."  
  
MJ was moved to tears. "Mom..."  
  
"Now, know its nothing big, or extravagent. You know we can't afford anything. But, please..." Madeline put a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "You're still my daughter."  
  
MJ wiped at her eyes and opened the boxes. The first was a nail polish set, the second a makeup set and the third was a smaller box. MJ opened the smaller box, revealing a silver bracelet with a silver heart attatched to it. MJ noticed it clicked open and inside was a picture of her and her mother. MJ put a hand to her trembling lips and stared at her mother. "Mother..."  
  
Madeline had tears in her eyes as she watched her daughter put the bracelet on right away. "I'm glad you like it sweetheart. It was worth every penny."  
  
MJ reached out to hug her mother closely. "I love it, I love you!"  
  
Madeline patted her back. "I love you too, Mary Jane."  
  
MJ smiled and presented a bag to her. "Its just something so you won't be lonely and not think 'm not thinking about you."  
  
Madeline peered into the bag, pulling out a box that she opened to reveal a photo album. She flipped through finding pictures of her with Mary Jane and her sister Gayle as children and as she flipped they got older, up till Gayle left home and Mary Jane graduated high school. If one didn't know better, by the smiles on the faces of the people in the pictures, one would think they were a perfect, happy family. If only there wasn't so much sorrow and pain hidden behind those smiles. "It's wonderful. Thank you sweetheart."  
  
MJ reached into her coat pocket and handed her mother a key. "It's the key to my apartment. Please know mom... please know you can come stay with me anytime. You don't have to stay here with him anymore."  
  
"Mary Jane..." Madeline frowned. "He's still my husband."  
  
"He's an abusive bastard, mother." MJ sighed.  
  
"He's been better. You know he doesn't raise a hand to me. So he drinks a little too much sometimes. It's no big deal." Madeline waved it off, sitting by the tree.  
  
"No big deal. No big deal. No big deal!!" MJ growled, frustrated. "Mother, you see how he treats me, you won't stand for that. He treats you no better! You don't have to take it either." MJ sunk to her knees, gripping her mother's hands. "Please! Come live with me!"  
  
"I have a home, dear. I can't go," Madeline shook her head stubbornly. "Now, lets waste no more time. Tell me how acting is going, have you met anyone, are you working? What about school?"  
  
"Mother, don't change the subject," MJ frowned.  
  
"Are you seeing that Parker boy? May mentioned you were coming to dinner. Isn't he that nerdy boy? May's so sweet and 'm sure Peter's quite nice dear, but you can do so much better than a geek with glasses." Madeline continued.  
  
MJ sighed knowing her mother was too stubborn. Atleast she kept the key. "Mom, I'm doing fine. I'm working at a diner. Paying my way, not going to school right now, just concentrating on acting right now. I haven't had any auditions since the last one I told you about. But 'm going to try modeling for now." she paused. "And as for Peter, mother- the boy next door." she grinned. "Not yet, no. We care for each other though. And mother...."  
  
"Hmmm..." she smiled.  
  
"Have you not seen him lately?" MJ grinned.  
  
"No, honestly I haven't." Madeline found her daughter's smile infectious.  
  
"Well, he's not a nerdy geek anymore. Ok, well he's still smarter than you and me put together, with a side of Flash and Harry put together. But... mother he is beyond cute! No more chunky glasses, and limp lil arms and legs. Mother, he's a hunk." MJ stood up.  
  
"What?"  
  
"He's a total hottie. Lost the glasses, grew some muscles, finally stopped being so damn shy, but a part of him still is and its so sweet and so cute, still has the sweetest smile, still has the brainiest brains and..." MJ listed, pacing back in forth in front of her. "I love him. The worst part is I think I loved him before, I think I loved him even before he stopped being a nerd. I totally, completely, absolutely, with all my heart have fallen totally in love with him." MJ sighed, sinking back to her knees again. "But, he won't have me."  
  
Madeline went from grinning brightly at her daughter's happiness to being puzzled at her frown. "What in God's name is wrong with the boy?! You're perfect, Mary Jane!"  
  
"It's not that," MJ shook her head. "I'm sure he loves me too."  
  
"He damn well better love my daughter. He doesn't deserve you otherwise." Madeline huffed. "So why won't he have you?"  
  
MJ tried to think of a way to explain it. "He, uh- well I can't really say momma, but he does some dangerous work for the Bugle sometimes and he doesn't wanna see me involved or hurt. He wants to protect me, as much as he loves me, he won't put me in danger."  
  
Madeline crossed her arms. "Sounds like a smart boy. I don't want anything to happen to you..."  
  
"But?" MJ caught the 'but' in her voice.  
  
"But, he's only hurting you by not being with you. So what are you gonna do to change his mind? Do I have to tell May?"  
  
"No! Don't mom. It won't help to have everyone interefere," MJ covered quickly. "I'm sure 'll win his love one way or another."  
  
"My ever persistant daughter..." Madeline patted her hand. "You best make sure he treats you wonderful, MJ."  
  
*Oh, because dad treats you like a princess, mother....* she simply said, "I will momma."   
  
"Good girl," she yawned tiredly.  
  
"Are you all right?"  
  
"Just tired sweetheart. Don't worry about me...." Madeline assured.  
  
"I do, I always do. The offer still stands. Come stay with me." MJ tried again.  
  
"The last thing you need is your mother around while you try to win young Parker's heart," she chuckled. "I am fine."  
  
And it was as if all MJ's fears suddenly came to life.  
  
The front door slammed shut followed by a loud burp and a table being knocked over. Something shattered and then came the shouting. "Woman!! Where are you?!!"  
  
MJ jumped straight up as if someone had lashed out at her. Her eyes went wild and her heart seized. She felt her lips go dry and her stomach churned.  
  
Madeline stood quickly, pushing MJ back. "Go through the back. Go on, get outta here before-"  
  
"What the hell is she doing here?!!" his voice boomed, filling the living room.  
  
"Visiting my mother!" she shouted back, trying to be brave. Her chin shaked visibly with the effort.   
  
Philip Watson strode up to his daughter, standing toe to toe with her. "I thought you said you were dead to us."  
  
"No... no daddy." MJ's chin continued to quiver. Her heart suddenly shocked back to life and she felt an overwhelming strength coarse through her system. She suddenly remembered the power she felt when she confronted him the day of the funeral. She set her chin out defiantly. It stopped quivering and so did she. She clenched her fists and didn't back down or flinch from the stench of alcohol coming off him. "I said I was dead to you."  
  
Philip Watson's face twitched and anger flashed in his eyes. He snarled at her, almost foaming at the mouth with gritted teeth. "Than what are you doing in MY home!?!!"  
  
MJ didn't dare blink for she feared all her will to stand up to him would dissipate. She could handle the Green Goblin, Philip Watson was nothing. She smirked. "To say Merry Christmas, to my mother and be on my way. I have nothing more to say to you."  
  
Philip raised his hand, making it look like he would lash out at the girl at any moment.   
  
MJ stood defiantly, daring the man to strike at her. She raised her brows, waiting.  
  
Madeline sat in her chair, fear keeping her quiet and she gasped when he raised his hand. He'd never hit her before. "Philip, don't you dare!"  
  
"Give me one reason I shouldn't, Madeline!" he growled. "You know what she's here for! The filthy whore wants money, don't you?! Can't make it on your own can you, lil Mary Jane?! Whatsa matter, your pimp not giving you proper due?!"  
  
MJ gritted her teeth, clenching her fists tighter. It was nothing worse than he had ever said to her before, so she tried to let it roll off her back. "I don't need your money."  
  
"Bull shit!" Philip laughed. "Haven't found another rich man to take care of you yet?! Don't you see, no one wants you lil girl. You're nothing, you'll always be nothing. Just like your mother." he shouted, eyes filled with drunken haze. "You're worthless. Just another tramp on the street. You'll always be... nothing..." he seethed, turning his back on her as he laughed.  
  
MJ blinked, once, twice. She felt a moment's fear and once again wished Peter were here to clean her father's clock. Then she snorted. *To hell with it.* She gripped the tall shoulder of her father, spun him to her and threw her fist into his face with all her might. It connected with a crack and she was sure she'd broken her hand, but when Philip Watson hit the ground with a thud, blood gushing from his nose, MJ noticed her hand was fine despite a slight ache. She'd broken the man's nose!   
  
She took a deep breath and in a menacingly calm voice, she spoke. "I don't hear you father. I am dead to you. Mary Jane Watson does not exist to you. She's not a tramp or a whore, and she's not alone and she is by FAR not nothing. Next time you see this face, it will plastered all over Hollywood and Broadway and in every magazine you don't know how to read. I am anything and everything I want to be. I believe that and someone else believes that too. He's a real man, something you know nothing about, and you never will because you're no better than a drunken sorry excuse for a human being who never amounted to anything and dragged my mother down with you." she kneeled over the man who was crying and clutching his nose. "If you EVER hurt her again, I will personally kill you with my own two hands." she smiled sickeningly sweet. "Merry Christmas."   
  
She stood, looked at her mother who was a mixture of fear and shock and finally a smile. "My MJ can take damn good care of herself, Philip." she directed to the man on the floor broken and bleeding. She hugged her daughter and watched as MJ left the house without looking back.  
  
"Madeline!!! Help me!!!" he cried.  
  
"It's Christmas Eve, Philip. Santa's coming soon," Madeline chuckled, hoping to one day find the strength her daughter had to walk out this house. "I have to get some sleep." And she turned and left him alone for the first time in years.  
  



	16. Breakdown

ok y'all were nice and patient and you wrote me reviews with excitement and anticipation for the next chapter so here I am at 250am when I need to be at work at 930am finishing up this chapter just so you guys would not be dissapointed!!! :) Now, it is one more chapter of fluffy's and then its back to Spidey action and some insane insight on our lovely villainess Amber. So enjoy the fluff gals and guys, sorry the actions coming, I promise!! ;) Thanks to everyone still reading! You guys are the BEST!! Totally dedicated, truly you all rock!! Thank you soooo much!!! Keep reading and just as importantly, keep reviewing!!!!!! :)  
  
  
I Can't Make You Love Me-Bonnie Raitt  
  
  
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed  
Turn down these voices inside my head  
Lay down with me, tell me no lies  
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me  
  
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't  
You can't make your heart feel something it won't  
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours  
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power  
But you won't, no you won't  
Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't  
  
  
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see  
  
The love you don't feel when you're holding me  
Morning will come and I'll do what's right  
Just give me till then to give up this fight  
And I will give up this fight  
  
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't  
You can't make your heart feel something it won't  
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours  
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power  
But you won't, no you won't  
Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't  
  
  
Chapter 16: Breakdown  
  
The cold air lashed at MJ's face, the stinging sensation turning her cheeks red and causing her to flinch. She walked steadily back to the Parker house, not missing a step, despite that her legs felt like jelly. The adrenaline was rapidly retreating from her body as quickly as it had built up. She realized now, her hand was beginning to throb, but she paid it no mind just yet. She strode up the steps and found the door open. Peter was waiting in the doorway for her with an expression of concern plainly written on his face.  
  
Peter watched her confident stride waiver as she got closer to him. Her face fell from grim determination to fear and heartbreak. Her eyes were wide with the onslaught of tears and he noticed she clutched her right fist in her left hand. His heart filled with nervous unease. "MJ?"  
  
She made it to the steps before collapsing into his arms, bursting into tears. She sobbed heavily, head buried in his chest.  
  
Peter's arms encircled her protectively and he kissed her head gently. "Shhhh..." he grit his teeth in an attempt to contain his anger, his eyes falling on the house next door. "MJ, what happened? Why didn't you let me go with you?? Did he hurt you?!"  
  
MJ shook her head negatively, sniffling against his chest. "Just hold me, please."  
  
He brought her inside with an arm wrapped around her. She walked with him, leaning on him with her head still burrowed against his chest. "I'm right here," he whispered against her sweet smelling hair.  
  
She flopped onto the couch, diving back into his embrace as soon as he sat beside her. She continued to cry, sobbing and even let out a small grunt of despair every so often.  
  
Peter held her, rocking her in his arms till she quieted. He pressed his lips against her hair, burying his face in the red locks. He was torn between wanting to hold her tightly until she knew she was safe and going over to break the guy's face in for hurting her. He only looked up once when Aunt May's questioning gaze came from the dining room. He silently told her he had it covered and she smiled sadly with understanding. She left as quietly as she entered.  
  
MJ sniffled moments later, lifting her head up to meet his eyes.  
  
He gave her a gentle, supportive smile. Her eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed, her nose was running and she had a tear streaked face. Yet, she was still beautiful. Even more so, looking as vulnerable and lost as a child without their parent. "I had a handkerchief, but..." he grinned softly, reaching out for a box of tissues.  
  
She dabbed at her face and eyes, continuing to sniffle. "Thanks."  
  
He brushed back her frazzled hair and wiped at her tears. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I-"  
  
"Peter... I hit him..." she interrupted looking dazed, picking at her tissue.  
  
Peter's mouth fell open, but then he smiled. "You ... what?"  
  
MJ chuckled at his expression. "I think I broke his nose."  
  
Peter's eyes widened and he joined in her chuckles. He stroked her blotchy cheek. "Really?"  
  
She nodded. "He wasn't there at first..." she started.  
  
"I saw him come in. I wanted to go to you, but I promised I'd wait here for you. Guess you didn't need my help after all," he winked.  
  
She gave a half smile before continuing. "He came in, insulting me ... called me a nothing, a whore, a tramp..." MJ's face twitched as she replayed the scenes in her head. "Nothing 'm not used to hearing, but I couldn't take it anymore! He made to hit me and instead, threw more insults at me. He turned his back on me, so I spun him around and socked him right in the nose."  
  
Peter's heart went out to her instantly. He was pleased she could defend herself, and he knew she was happy to have protected herself too, but he could tell she was still torn up after it all. She didn't have to be strong in front of him. She could let go of pretending and let it all out. He would be there for her, as he promised. It was the least he could do. He examined her hand, noting it was swollen and a little bruised, but nothing that wouldn't heal quickly.   
  
"I was so scared at first, and I kept wishing you were there with me," she paused, contemplating what she was going to say next. She didn't want to sound insane. "Then, it felt as it you were. I had the strength to do and say what I had to. Now that its over, I feel it all unraveling," she explained as he held her small hand in his own two.  
  
Peter cupped her cheek affectionately. "I am always with you, MJ. No matter what. I will always be there for you. I promised you that. I intend to keep that promise."  
  
She sighed, wishing he could do more than just be there. Instead of instigating another argument though, she ignored his comment, rubbing at her eyes. "I must look a mess."  
  
"You never look anything but beautiful..." he assured her, not letting the expression that marred her features momentarily go unnoticed.  
  
She sniffled again and smiled gently at him. "Thanks, Tiger. You always know what to say to a girl, don't ya?"  
  
"Yeah, right. It usually turns out in stutters," he snorted, lips forming into a goofy smile.  
  
She gave him a quirky grin. "That's because you're still shy Peter Parker even under all those Spider-Man quips of yours."  
  
"It may just possibly be," he nodded in an agreement.  
  
She chuckled, rolling her eyes at him. She sighed, rubbing her thumb on his lips. "I love you so much, Peter Parker."  
  
He smiled sadly, kissing her finger. "I know." He sighed. "About that..."  
  
She pulled away with a frown. "You're not gonna shoot me down again now, are you?"  
  
He reached out for her hands again. "No, not right now," he paused. "MJ. I need you to understand we can't be together so I can keep you safe. I'd rather keep you at arms length and know you're not in danger than to think I caused another death. There's been too many as it is," he said sadly.  
  
"But-"  
  
"Shhh..." he placed a finger on her lips. "Follow me," he lifted her from the couch, leading her by the hand up the stairs to his old room.  
  
MJ followed obediently into his old bedroom, still filled with some of his stuff. She noted the bed was neatly made, some old posters were still hung, a bunch of photos hung over a desk and MJ smiled, noting one was of her from their trip to the museum. She strode over and plucked it off its perch. She turned raised brows to him.  
  
He blushed, rubbing his neck and lowering his eyes in embarrassment.  
  
She chuckled, setting the picture back. "So what did you bring me up here for?" she sat on the bed, legs tucked under her.  
  
Peter examined the picture, surprised she hadn't thought about the super spiders and recalled the missing one. She was so close to discovering what made him Spider-Man and was too blinded by his affection for her to notice. *Good. Tonight isn't about Spider-Man.* He turned to her and took a deep breath. He'd need it. "Mary Jane..." his voice squeaked.  
  
She smiled. "Sit down, Tiger. Relax. You can tell me anything," she patted the bed.  
  
He sat, hands twisting together nervously. He could practically feel his tongue twisting in his mouth as he searched his heart for the courage to do this. For her. For MJ. Finally, he took a deep breath and plunged in. "I've been in love with you since the 6th grade," *There. He said it. He felt better already. Oh God, she was staring at him like he was a loony bin.*  
  
"What?" she managed, blinking rapidly.  
  
"I've been in love with you since the 6th grade," he repeated, with more conviction this time. The truth was out, time to put some feeling behind it! "I could only dream and hope you'd love me one day. I know I was foolish; no one falls in love with a geek like me ... with giant glasses and brains twice the size of most men's muscles."  
  
"Oh, Peter..." she gripped one of his writhing hands. "Its not your looks that made me fall in love with you! Sure, you're handsome without the glasses and with the muscles..." she paused before whispering the rest of her confession to him. "But I think I loved you before then too."  
  
He almost shattered at her confession. There was so much more he wanted to tell her, and he knew she wished to hear it. Looking at her smile and the light gleaming in her eyes now, almost urged him to continue. He opened his mouth to speak and the words that followed were not at all what he planned to say.   
  
"I'd like nothing more than for us to be together. I wish with all I was I could change that," he stroked her hand. "I can't though. I have a commitment to being Spider-Man. I can't put you in danger, I can't be responsible for more death," his own subconscious had forced him to take a step back and realize telling her everything wasn't feasible. Pretending it was just about the two of them, and that Spider-Man could be put on a back burner was even less feasible.   
  
Spider-Man wasn't someone Peter could pretend wasn't always there. It wasn't a split personality or an alter ego-who could be turned on and off-it's who he was, who he had to be. "I'd love to tell you everything, and make everything better, but I just can't," his voice caught in his throat and he felt his eyes well up with unshed tears. "I wanted tonight to be about you and me. But I can't escape the fact that Spider-Man is me. I wanted to tell you tonight what I couldn't at my apartment. But, it would only hurt you more," he stopped and was sure he couldn't continue after seeing the disappointment in her eyes. But he had to. He had to do something. He had to keep talking, because he could not stand to see such sorrow in her eyes. "I bought you something, and I'd like for you to have it in any case. If you can't accept it, I will understand. Just ... please know, this isn't meant to hurt you or feel obligated to me. I'd like for nothing more than for you to be happy. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed that kiss tonight, I can't give you the happiness you deserve. I'm sorry, MJ... "  
  
MJ digested every word like a bad pill. She swiped at tears and cursed Spider-Man and Peter, but made no move. She couldn't give up on him. She loved him too much and had never felt a love like this before. She would not lose it. She waited as he handed her a box. She examined it a moment, wondering what could be waiting inside that had him so close to confessing all before he once again changed his mind. She tore off the simple bow and opened the box, pushing away tissue paper. Inside was a ball. She lifted it from its box and gasped at the bright white Christmas ornament surrounded with sprigs of mistletoe, gold bells, silver angels and strands of pearls that spelled her name in scripted letters. It spun in her hand as she held it by the gold string. On the other side it read:  
  
For the woman who gives the sweetest kisses in the rain, who gives love from her heart no matter what the cost and shows faith and trust everlasting. Always know my love for you has no end... P.P.  
  
  
MJ's eyes misted over immediately and she felt tears slide from her eyes for a second time tonight. She loved it, it was beautiful. And heartbreaking. "And no beginning..."  
  
Peter's heart broke at her fragile expression. "I'm sorry," he stood, turning away from her and began to pace. "I knew this would only upset you, I shouldn't have given it to you. I just had to do something, MJ. This was not how I planned it. I wanted things to be so different. But it just can't be."  
  
MJ set the beautiful ornament aside, coming to stand next to him. She jumped into his path stopping his pacing. "It's the most beautiful gift I ever got."  
  
Peter still wore a frown and remained silent for what seemed like hours but was mere seconds. "I know how much you liked my parents. I wanted to give you one, even if it didn't have our names on it."  
  
MJ sighed softly, cupping his face. She forced a kiss on his lips. It was short and closed mouthed. She rubbed his cheeks, sniffling. "Can't we pretend, just for now, that there's nothing keeping us apart? Can't you just kiss me for a little while, hold me like you love me? You don't have to say it,"  
  
Peter broke at her request, wanting so much for the same thing. There were so many reasons not to. It was just wrong, all together wrong. What would happen when it was over? What would he say? Where would they be then? Their friendship was in such turmoil to begin with. No, it would only create more false hope, more expectations that would never be fulfilled. How would they handle this?  
  
"Just a lil while, k?" she reached down for his hand, to hold in hers.  
  
He took her hand in his and left all his questions and thoughts in the spot where he stood. He refused to think of the consequences, the what ifs and trying to decipher right from the wrong. All he wanted was a short time away from everything that was right and wrong and just have what he wanted, what she wanted. He could not refuse her, or himself. He stepped to the bed, arm outstretched as he held her hand. He met her eyes with his and gently pulled her to him on the bed.  
  
MJ sunk onto the bed on her knees, shuffling over as Peter made room for her. He leaned back against the headboard, and she fell into his embrace. She sunk into the spot that immediately felt like home to her, her head fitting perfectly into the nook between his shoulder and collar bone. She closed her eyes as they both fought off the uncomfortable, unnamable emotion weighing on them heavily. Yet, neither refused to budge, to give up this brief time together, keeping reason abandoned, thrown to the wind and far from thought.   
  
Instead, they sunk into each other's warmth battling valiantly with their stiff, rigid forms to give way and allow the comfort each willingly had to offer to surface. To give that reassurance, that despite fate's plan for them, that this is where they belonged and each had the salvation the other needed. Neither had ever felt so safe and so protected and so ... home ... than they did in each other's embrace.  
  
And it was scary.  
  
MJ stiffened slightly when Peter's hand came from around her waist, to her shoulder, gently shifting her hair away. She sat up slightly, turning her eyes to his.  
  
He looked at her apologetically, as if he had done wrong.  
  
She continued to watch him with the same studious expression as she lifted her hand to the clip at the base of her head holding the lengthy base of red hair upon her head. She pulled the clip free and her hair fell past her shoulders in waves, tumbling out of the clips hold. She gave it one good shake and felt the relief of free flowing hair.  
  
It only took Pete seconds to find his fingers entwined in their lengths, amazed at the shining, golden scarlet gossamer his fingers delved in. He brushed back the hair that framed her face perfectly and studied her teal colored eyes. He wanted to tell her so bad, to say it aloud so much! But, the words just would not find their way from his heart into the open, into their lives. Instead, he closed his eyes and dived out dauntlessly finding her lips with his and set into motion a lifetime's worth of desire for her. His lips practically devoured hers and he tightened his grip on her shoulders when she allowed his tongue access to hers.  
  
MJ was taken by surprise, pleasantly, by his force and she battled back with a soul searing kiss of her own. Her fingers wound into his dark locks and she pulled him closer, wanting him to deepen the kiss even further.  
  
He wrapped his arms around her back with care and gently eased her onto her back, laying atop her as the kiss continued its endless pleasure.  
  
But end it did and when it did, both were breathless and their chests heaved with the need for air.  
  
Pete placed a chaste kiss on her lips quickly, as if thanking her for access to her sweetest kisses. He caressed her cheek ever so gently, easing his weight to the side of her, not stopping his soft caress of her creamy skin for a moment. His arms tightened around her upper body once again and he squeezed her tightly in a bear hug.  
  
MJ kissed his forehead lovingly, and noted he never seemed more vulnerable, more boyish than he did right now. She still could not believe looking into these cerulean eyes and at this baby faced man she loved with all her heart, that this was the fast-quipping, daring, deadly, acrobatic, Spider-Man whom she'd also grown to love. Yet, under it all, he was still the shy, inexperienced, nerdy little boy with broken, tapped up bottle-rimmed glasses lost under his microscope when other boys where playing football and ogling at girls.   
  
MJ grinned, tracing the contours of his face. Yet, he had loved her since he was 6! Before boys even liked girls! And his inexperience has caught up to him. Most men in Peter's position would have very well taken full advantage of MJ's attention and advances over the past week, and of very her position in his bed right now. So shy he was, that his touches were feather light on her body, avoiding any intimate touch aside from that of her lips. That after each kiss, he pulled far enough away that he would not be tempted to continue any such actions kissing set into emotion. She loved him all the more for it. No one had ever treated her so delicately before, so respectfully. If she was unsure before, she knew now without doubt that Peter Parker was the only man for her and she would never know a touch like his elsewhere, even if they were doomed to spend their lifetimes apart.  
  
Time was lost to them, neither knew how long they lie there, just content to be near each other, lost in the others arms and locked in a gaze that nothing seemed to break. There were kisses, long and powerful, short and tender. There were moments were there was nothing but a share of smiles or the gentlest touch of hands and there were moments neither moved for fear of breaking the enchanted spell they were set upon.   
  
At one point amidst the quiet, MJ noticed Peter's eyelids droop over his perfect pools of blue and he fought with himself to stay awake. She knew whatever webslinging and good-doing he had done for the day was making him so weary that he could not fight the temptation of sleep, despite how much he was enjoying this. She placed soft kisses on his eyes and bundled him closer, giving him a tender smile even though he could not see it. He slipped into his dreams quietly, hanging on tightly to her, as if he was afraid once he fell asleep she would be gone. She stayed there, comforting him as he slept, gently caressing and kissing every so often until it became impossible to lift her own head from the pillows. She was also battling the sleep that invaded her system, but she managed to stay awake a little longer, to enjoy her reverie: her peace finally brought to her by the arms of a spider.  
  
*******  
  
It was shortly after they had fallen asleep that May had knocked on the door, checking on Peter and wondering if Mary Jane had left or not without a good-bye. When she opened the door and spied her nephew and the girl next door fast asleep in each other's arms, she gasped softly. Shocked was not enough to describe how she felt. Happy however was a good term, perhaps still not strong enough. Now, May was not one to allow such activities in her house, but there was nothing but innocence written in the way they held each other. And no two people deserved to be happier more than Peter and Mary Jane. She smiled widely, hoping this meant there was a breakthrough for the two of them and they were finally were a couple. Something in the way they clung to each other, as if the world was over for them made her consider otherwise. May sighed, morning would tell. She flicked off the light illuminating the room. "Merry Christmas."  
  
*******  
  
  
Morning light streamed in from Peter's window, basking the room in a soft blue glow. The morning itself was quiet as if the world was trying its hardest to be without disturbance so the two occupants of the room could remain as they were forever.  
  
But, even the slightest noises could wake Peter at any given time. Especially when it was followed by the drumming of his spider sense. This morning he awoke, but it wasn't because of some disturbing noise or the warning of his spider sense. He awoke because his arm was bent at an entirely awkward angle, even for him. It began to tingle with aches. He blinked open his eyes, wondering what could cause it such pain and he became aware of his arm buried under the small weight of MJ's warm body. Her red hair was billowed out over his pillows and her perfect face was pressed against his chest, totally at ease and looking at peace.  
  
Peter couldn't help but grin as he slowly slipped his hand out from under her and she gave a protesting groan, huddling closer to him for warmth. He snatched the throw blanket she must've buried them in last night and tucked her back in, not ready to give this up yet. He stroked her hair from her cheek, reveling in the touch of her soft skin. "You're so soft..." he whispered against her hair.   
  
He sighed deeply, memorizing this moment, detail for detail. He'd make sure he knew what it was like to hold her like this for the whole night and waking in the morning to her beautiful face. He'd memorize it by every single detail and he wouldn't forget; he'd need it to get him through the rest of his life without her. He'd memorize each detail of her sleeping face, the soft smile on her lips, the gentle rise and fall of her body as she breathed, the way her hair was wildly tossed over the pillows, and most of all he'd remember the way her tiny hands held onto his frame tightly, refusing to let go.  
  
He looked down at her face, kissing the top of her head with love. "So this is what its like to be with you. This is what its like to be this close, and held so tight, with such love. I feel so safe here, MJ. Isn't that silly? I should be the one to make you feel safe... But I feel like 'm home, like after everything I go through, fighting off criminals, dodging bullets and climbing walls and soaring on a strand of webbing through Manhattan, that nothing can compare to being in your arms and to feel your love. Its like, everything I go through is suddenly worth it, that there's meaning and reason for it. I can do all these great things with these powers I have and its amazing that I can help people, but it doesn't really matter at the end of the day. At the end of the day all I still want is this." Peter confessed to her sleeping face. He kissed her gently on the lips. "I'd give it all up for this if I could. But, I promised Uncle Ben and I must do what's right in the end, even if it means losing you. I'm so sorry, MJ. I wish things could be so different. But that doesn't matter right now. We're here, you and me and you're all mine right now. Isn't it wonderful?" he asked her, stroking her back affectionately as he continued his confessions, looking for any kind of awareness on her part.  
  
"Even if its only for a few more minutes...." Peter chuckled softly minutes later as he got lost in thought. "Boy, you know what would be really great... If we got married and lived in the city. Of course by the time we could afford to marry, your acting career would be on fire. You'd be flying to California to star in the big films, and modeling left and right. But you'd never be gone too long, because we'd miss each other too much. We'd come home from work and say 'honey, 'm home!' and sit in front of the TV to see your newest work with Chinese and 'd give you a foot rub and you'd give me a back rub. We'd both be busy with me being Spider-Man and you a star and all, but there would still be this. A place to call home, a place to go, y'know? A reason, like you told me, a reason to do what we do. Maybe we'd have a couple kids when our career's slowed down. I'd teach them all about science and math and you'd teach them to be good people, with kind hearts and boy they'd be beautiful... I may need to teach them to wall crawl too..." he snorted, so lost in his dreams, that even being Spider-Man in them was possible, acceptable! "Can you picture that, Mary Jane? Do you know how happy you'd make me? God, MJ... I love you so much, I almost think anything is possible. I can almost believe this could be real..." he sighed, biting on his lip. He looked down at her, finding her still fast asleep. "Too bad it's not ... never can be..." he closed his eyes and allowed himself one last touch of her lips. "I love you Mary Jane, always. Even if all I have left for us is dreams..." he snorted. That's all he ever had with her.  
  
MJ woke shortly after Peter, finding him still beside her, but his face was hard and rigid as it often was. "Mornin' Tiger..." she whispered, afraid to move in hopes that he would not pull away from her.  
  
"Hey MJ, Merry Christmas..." he whispered back with a soft smile, breaking the barriers on his face.   
  
MJ leaned up and kissed his cheek softly. "It must be Christmas. I got my wish..."  
  
"Even if its over already?" Peter sat up, rubbing at his eyes.  
  
She clasped his shoulder, pulling herself up to sit beside him. "I'd give my life for one more night with you, Peter Parker," she told him, her face the picture of stern calmness. She meant it. She was ready to risk it all just to be with him ... if only he would too.  
  
"Well, I'm not about to let you risk your life for me, no matter what...." Peter frowned at her confession of love.  
  
MJ nodded, taking the disappoint in stride. "Let's not argue. It's Christmas, Pete. Just for today, lets forget all about everything and enjoy our time together and with Aunt May."  
  
"Aunt May! Holy cow! What is she gonna think when she finds out you're still here?!" Peter slapped a hand to his forehead.  
  
"Well..." MJ chuckled. "I know what she'll think. But, we'll just tell her I didn't want to be alone. Nothing untruthful about that."  
  
Peter swallowed hard, rubbing his forehead in contemplation of MJ's words. Oh man ... he was in for it...  
  
"Good thing I got some clothes yesterday for presents. I'm gonna go change," she crawled off the bed, grinning at Peter's dismay. She opened the bedroom door and before stepping out, she turned back to him and smiled playfully. "Oh, yeah... Merry Christmas, Tiger."   



	17. Answers

  
  
Chapter 17: Answers  
  
Black Widow by U.D.O.  
  
I just love my nightmares  
I can't wait to sleep  
Enjoying all my dreams  
Got no regrets  
  
I can be a flash of lightning  
Striking down on rocks  
Burning down the law  
Getting things i never got  
  
Turning the world  
Nothing unheard  
One night can be more than a day  
  
Just like a black widow  
Like a black widow  
  
I can't stand the dreamers  
Scared of things that fly  
They just have sweet fantasies  
And fade and die  
  
Nightmares - are so good, so good  
And they always end just when they should  
  
Nightmares are cool, nightmares are cruel  
I love the fun and the thrill  
  
Just like a black widow  
Like a black widow  
Black widow  
Just like a black widow  
  
Here comes the morning  
And who can deny  
Leaving the dream is so hard  
I love my nightmares  
I await their return  
And this time, i'm dressed to kill, dressed to kill  
  
Just like a black widow  
  
Peter yawned, fighting to keep his eyes open as the elevator ascended up and finally the doors slid open. He stepped out onto the fourth floor of New York Hospital, searching out room 402. Betty Brant's room. Thankfully, the room was not far from the elevator and Peter found it easily. It didn't hurt that he could hear Betty shouting in annoyance at a nurse as he peaked in the door. Peter grinned at Betty's snarling growl as she swatted the nurse and her needle away.   
  
"Enough already, geez!! Am I seeing Doctor Wallburn or Count Dracula?!" Betty huffed.  
  
Peter knocked on the open door and grinned. "Bad time for a visit?"  
  
Betty's eyes turned from the nurse and a grin spread on her pale face. "Peter!"  
  
Peter waved cheerfully as he waited for invitation to enter the room.   
  
"Come in! Come in! Please! Save me from the vampires..." Betty pleaded, glaring at the nurse as Pete stepped in.   
  
"Dr. Wallburn would like to run the test once more in case the results of the first come back inconclusive. We'd really appreciate your complete cooperation, Ms. Brant. Perhaps the boyfriend here can convince you..." the nurse turned her attention to Peter.  
  
Peter held his hands up in defense. "Just a friend. I'm not very convincing either..."   
  
Betty grinned smugly. "Ha!"   
  
"But you might wanna try Ned Leeds," Peter added with a wink at the nurse.   
  
The nurse sighed, gathering her equipment. "I'll be back."  
  
"Don't rush!" Betty grumbled and glared at Peter. "And you! Does everyone know about Ned and me?"   
  
Peter rubbed the back of his neck as he contemplated telling Betty what he really thought. "Uhh... think so..."  
  
"Great!" Betty sighed in exasperation and her head flopped back onto the pillows.  
  
"Aww, what's so bad about that?" Peter asked.   
  
Betty pursed her lips. "Did you ever just want something that was all your own? Something that you didn't have to share with the world, Pete? With Ned, we're both a part of the Bugle's little world, and we just... Well, we just thought it be better to keep it to ourselves so our private lives didn't interfere with our professional lives. It's a dangerous business when you mix your personal life into your professional one."  
  
Peter stared at Betty, finding her thoughts mirroring his own, when it came to MJ and Spider-Man. "I know what you mean..."  
  
"Do you?" Betty raised a brow. When she saw Peter's face turn cloudy with confusion she continued. "I was wondering what was going on with you and Amber."  
  
"Amber?" Peter answered.  
  
Betty nodded, but her mind was beginning to feel jumbled. Why was she questioning Peter about her, again? What was it that made her feel suspicious? Suddenly, she'd forgotten.   
  
"Nothing, Betty. Why do you ask?" Peter shrugged.   
  
"Hmm... 'm not sure, Pete..." she whispered, searching her mind for the answer.   
  
Peter shrugged again. "We're just friends, Betty."  
  
"Ah, no big deal anyway," she disregarded any further thought of Amber. "So how was your Christmas? Mine sure sucked."  
  
"Christmas was good." Peter smiled, thinking of two days ago when all the world had stopped and it had been just him and MJ's world. "Real good."  
  
"Oh?" Betty grinned, detecting something from his tone. "So, did Santa bring you anything special? Maybe a girl named MJ?"  
  
Peter blushed, lowering his face to hide the flush creeping up his cheeks. "She spent the holidays with me as a friend, Betty."  
  
"Uh-huh... Well, I bet it made your holidays a helluva lot better than mine..." she smirked.   
  
"So, when are they letting you out of here?" Peter smiled, changing the subject before they tread too far onto the topic of a relationship with MJ.   
  
"Ugh, not soon enough. Tonight or tomorrow, so long as the blood tests they took come back without any red flags," she raised her brows.  
  
"What are they trying to find?" Pete frowned.   
  
"A reason for my collapse," Betty replied.   
  
"But, I thought it was from the hypothermia.."   
  
"No, that couldn't be the initial reason for collapse. If I could only remember what happened! Ugh! This is so frustrating!" Betty pounded on the bed.   
  
"You don't remember anything at all? Were you attacked? Were you on a trail of a story?" Peter questioned.  
  
Betty bit her lip in thought, shaking her head. "I just don't know... I just can't remember anything. It's just all black... black... all I remember is black.."   
  
"Was it dark? Was there a black figure, a shadow?"   
  
Betty sighed, growing more frustrated by his questions. "I have no idea, Peter. I just can't remember anything!"   
  
"Sorry, I just want to help you figure this out, Betty..." he frowned. He remained silent a moment as he thought. An idea came to his mind that he completely forgot. "Your laptop!"  
  
"My laptop? What about it?" Betty shook her head, not following his train of thought.  
  
"I was searching some story files on your laptop on Christmas Eve, but the battery died. Maybe there was a story you were getting too close to that's stored on there. I meant to bring it with me, but I kinda swung by in a hurry on my way back from my apartment."   
  
Betty shrugged, none of the fog lifting from her mind from his suggestion. "Maybe there's something on there. I don't remember...."   
  
"Well, I will bring it back to the Bugle and we can take a look together. Maybe we can find out what happened," Peter smiled.   
  
"That would be great, Peter. Except Jonah banned me from the Bugle atleast until after New Year's. Guess underneath all that shouting and rough exterior the guy really does have a heart that beats... So, unless I suddenly remember, guess we'll have to wait till then to find out what happened." Betty shrugged.   
  
"More like who happened," a voice proclaimed from the open door.   
  
Peter turned to see Ned Leeds standing there with a distraught look on his face.   
  
"Your blood tests came back, Betty," he started. "They found something."   
  
Peter's spider sense tingled ominously. "What did they find, Ned?"   
  
"Black widow venom. Almost enough to kill her. They said a few cc's more would've killed you." Ned revealed. "So the question becomes, who attacked you and poisoned you with a black widow's venom?"  
  
Peter could hear Betty's heart pounding heavily above his. His mind filled with a million questions at once and he tried to slow it down enough to find one that would make any kind of sense.   
  
"That's not all." Ned started.  
  
Of course not, it was never simple.  
  
"They found some other kind of substance in your bloodstream, but they've never even seen anything like it before. They said the chemical makeup of it was beyond anything they've ever seen or studied before. They think that it has to do something with why your memory is fogged or completely lost. They wanna run more tests, Betty. I think it's a good idea," Ned gave her a soft look of concern, worry coloring his tone. "Whoever did this to you is still out there and they could be waiting to attack again. You're safer here in the hospital. Betty..."   
  
Betty seemed to absorb the information well. But, it was just that her mind was so far gone in thought, she didn't pay much mind to Ned after his initial information. She crossed her arms, searching all the corners of her mind for answers. Black widow. Black widow. Venom. Memory loss. The alley... Alley... Amber.. Betty crinkled her brow in confusion. Now that didn't make any sense.  
  
"Betty..." Ned repeated.  
  
She shook the fog away. "Tell them no more tests unless I go home tonight," she paused, studying him harshly. She meant it. "Tonight, Ned."   
  
He sighed. "I'll see what they say."   
  
"We've got work to do. Pete, guard that laptop with your life. We'll meet someplace tomorrow and see just who the hell is trying to kill me," Betty looked to Peter.   
  
"I'm afraid that you will not be leaving the hospital anytime soon, Miss Brant. We still don't know the after effects of this mysterious substance and we will be needing to run more tests," Dr. Wallburn, Peter guessed, appeared next to Ned. "A couple more days atleast."  
  
Peter frowned at Betty and reached out to squeeze her hand. "You stay here and get better. If you remember anything, give me a call, okay? I'll take care of things on the outside for now."   
  
Betty nodded, with a frown. "Don't be surprised if I bust outta here soon," she yawned.  
  
Peter grinned. "Get some rest or you won't get far."   
  
"Look, Peter. I know you're not a reporter, you're just a photographer. Betty and I appreciate all your help but, please don't get in over your head with this." Ned stopped him at the door.   
  
"I won't. I promise. But, I know someone who will," Peter patted Ned's shoulder as he dashed out the room.  
  
Ned looked to Betty with question in his eyes.  
  
Betty shrugged, just as clueless.  
  
For the first time in a long time, Peter was reenergized and raring to go. He was finally going to be able to do something helpful! He grinned under his Spider-Man mask as his webbing caught another cornerstone of a building. First, he would do a quick check on the city as he pieced his plan together. He'd scour the recent newspapers on the Internet and in the Bugle morgue (the giant library of old newspapers) for any stories concerning attacks with black widow venom, or memory loss after an attack. He only wished he could have gotten a sample of Betty's blood under a microscope himself.   
  
He groaned. Microscope. School would be back in session in a week and he had a giant project due to Doc Connors that he hadn't even begun to research! But, it would have to wait. Betty's safety was more important than anything else, and just as important was finding the person responsible before anyone else got hurt.  
  
A soft buzzing in his pocket almost made him miss the wall with his webbing and for a moment Spidey was free falling through the air, tumbling quickly. He managed to bring in his legs and turn the out-of-control tumble into a somersault... He righted himself and snagged onto a building with a web strand in one fluid movement that would make any gymnast jealous. He clung to the wall, digging in his pocket curiously. Just what....  
  
Oh. Cell Phone.  
  
Peter flipped open the small cellular unit and lifted his mask over his lips, resting on his nose. "Hello?"   
  
"Peter?"  
  
Spidey crinkled his brow curiously, contemplating his answer. He rolled his eyes under his mask. No one could see him up here. "Yeah?"   
  
"Hey, it's MJ."  
  
"MJ, hey. Sorry, 'm a bit preoccupied," Spidey looked down at the minuscule city sixty stories below.  
  
"Oh, I figured you might be. Took a chance that you'd be just hanging around...."   
  
Spidey chuckled. "Well, I guess you can say that I am. What's up? Everything ok?"  
  
"Oh, I'm fine. I'm working my shift at the diner, but I just wanted to check in and see if you may have time tonight to do that photo shoot with me? I get outta work early. Round 8pm?"   
  
"Sorry, MJ. No can do tonight," he paused, hating himself for what he was about to say to her. He was pretty sure she would hate him too. "Listen, you may want to look into someone else. I may be pretty swamped with uh... work ... for a while."   
  
"Anything I can help with Tiger? You know, research and all?"   
  
He hadn't expected that answer. "Appreciate the offer, Red, but Spidey flies solo. Or well, atleast crawl. Anyway, there's not too much to be done on the non-superhero side of the job. Just researchin' some old stories at the Bugle..."  
  
"Oh. Ok. I see. Well, I guess I should let you get on with your work then. Good luck saving the day."   
  
Spidey closed his eyes and bit his lip, hearing the pain of rejection in MJ's voice, not so cleverly disguised under her anger. "I'm sorry, MJ. But, I can't let you get involved in this."   
  
"It's just research, like you said. I don't see the harm in that. Plus, if I help you'll have time for my photos. And I really can't afford anyone else. Besides, I want you to do it. And I wanna help!" she paused. "You said you'd let me help you deal with these things, remember?"   
  
"Not in this way, MJ. I said I would-"  
  
"You never clarified exactly. You just said you wouldn't shut me out. This is shutting me out."   
  
Pete groaned impatiently. "MJ, I can't risk you getting hurt."   
  
"Unless, I get carpal tunnel syndrome from typing on a computer doing research, I can't see how I'll get hurt."   
  
"There's no way I can get you inside the Bugle's Morgue anyway."   
  
"No way Peter Parker could but I'm not speaking to him right now, am I?"  
  
"Mary Jane Watson, you are the most stubborn, bullheaded-"  
  
"Uh uh, that's redheaded," she paused, giggling. "Don't worry about it. We'll get in." she paused. "Face it, Tiger. You'll never be rid of me. I'll meet you outside the Bugle at 9:30."  
  
"MJ, no. MJ? MJ!" Peter growled. She hung up! He sighed heavily, slamming the flip phone closed. "She is going to be the death of me," he pulled his mask down over his face and shot out a strand of web, slinging on his way again.  
  
The first sensation she felt was shock. Then there was the sting of pain. Then there was the helplessness that followed. A trickle of blood trailed down from the corner of her lips, mixing with the tears streaming down her face. Then came the force and the sting again. And then the laughter.  
  
The sick, sadistic laughter.  
  
She clutched her bruised cheek in pain, staring blurry-eyed at her attacker.  
  
First it was her father.  
  
Then it was her boyfriend.  
  
Then the next.  
  
And again.   
  
Over and over she was walked upon like a beaten doormat. Taken in by sweet, gentle behaviors that seemed to change either overnight or overtime. At first they were every girl's dream. In the case of her father and a few others, it was a hero she looked up to that eventually turned into what would be her worst nightmares at those times. Others were bad boys right from the start that she fell in love with, thrown into a world that had become habit and she knew she could never escape. Beaten, raped, abused time and again and there seemed to be no escape from this world, no defense for her. She was trash and she would always be trash, a whore, good for nothing but a good beating and a good screw. The worst was, after the first few times, she believed it.   
  
And so she kept on believing it, going through life like a scared little girl in the dark, tiptoeing down a dark hallway filled with doors. And as any curious little girl would be, she opened each one. Behind each was their own brand of pain and torture. Hands pressed against the dirty, rotted walls, feeling her way to each door, and opening it up, hoping one day that when the door opened the world behind it would not be a world of pitch black darkness and despair, pain and suffering. Just once she hoped to open a door to bright light and serenity, to love and a pain free world.  
  
So, naturally, again the first sensation she felt was shock when that door finally opened and rang true. After years of abuse and pain and suffering, she met someone who did not treat her as a doormat, as a punching bag or as a two bit prostitute. Adam was just the opposite of all those things.   
  
He found her at a time when she needed help the most. Spending most of her time drunk, working a worthless job at a diner where she spent most of her time getting fondled for a tip instead of money. He came in the diner door and she swore it was just like her dream. The door opened and in filled the abundant light, warming her to the core. And it was just that easy! She couldn't believe it. He seemed drawn to her and she knew that it was just meant to be. To find her like this and save her from a world of despair and endless pain had to mean it was meant to happen.  
  
He even gave her time, time to trust him, time to grow to love him. And in return he loved her as well, accepting her scars both physical and emotional.   
  
She couldn't have been happier. Finally, things had begun to look up for her; life had done a complete turnaround! He'd even gotten her out of that dead end job and involved in journalism. Not only that, but she began working for a small time paper, and her first story opened yet another new door in her life. She was doing a story on New Age Culture and the taboo's of Magick and Folklore. She became so involved that Adam had bought her a very expensive book that every so called witch and sorcerer she'd come to interview had been looking for. Little did he know that book would be the death of him and many others.  
  
Then the door slammed shut and darkness enveloped the room, the whole world once again.  
  
And this time the pain, the tears, the force, the sting and most of all the helplessness played a back-seat to fury, anger and rage!  
  
Her screams of boiling rage echoed through the darkness of the room, her vocal cords vibrating with the force of shouts. Adam had betrayed her. She had been foolish and naive once again. And he was not alone in his betrayal!! He had taken advantage of her!! He played with her young heart and mind, made her believe he really loved her!! When it was all a lie! She was being used again, nothing but a good screw when his wife was not making the cut! Married!!   
  
Wrapped in anger and a will for destruction, yet another door opened to her and inside was the darkest of the rooms yet. And yet, it was the door that would change her life forever and it became the answer to all her problems. The door creaked open and she stepped inside. A soft green light glowed from a table and she stepped in, curious to examine the light closer. The door slammed shut and she became surrounded by the green light.   
  
She recognized her book propped open to a certain page and reached down to touch it. At that moment a spider crawled along the worn pages and she gasped in shock. She recognized it immediately by its distinctive red markings. A Black Widow.   
  
"So you seek revenge?"  
  
She turned to find a man bathed in shadows standing behind her. She stared at him, waiting for him to speak again.  
  
"I can give you that power. I can give you your revenge. Would you like that my dear?" his voice was as slippery as a serpent.  
  
She tilted her head, knowing that voice.  
  
"All you have to do is give me the book. Give me the book and in turn, I will give you the revenge you seek."  
  
She turned away and looked at the book, the spider lingering on the pages.  
  
"Think of the pleasure of returning the torment to those that have hurt you, to make them pay for what they have all done to you. You can suck the very life from them, but not only that my dear, you can show them the real meaning of pain! Kill them, hurt them, an eye for an eye! Revenge will be yours, and it will be sweet."  
  
She started to shake with the onslaught of that very emotion.  
  
"No one will ever hurt you again. You will never have to be scared again. They will fear you! And they should!"   
  
Her anger boiled to the surface and she clenched her fists. She wanted revenge!! Revenge!!!   
  
Amber screamed out in outrage, bursting up from her bed. Her hands shook as the veins bubbled underneath, turning green with the venom filling her body. Her eyes turned black as pitch and one look in the mirror showed her hair turning coal black. The Widow Maker in her shook with the pent up anger that drove her to the brink of madness. It was here at the beginning of her rage, that she drew her power from, the anger that made her what she was today; a killer of men who hurt women, her venom filling their bodies until they died. She even killed the women who stood in her way. Like Adam's wife. Like the others who stole the good men from her. Good men like Peter Parker who let the light shine in from behind the many doors in her life. Yes, she killed them all. Like she would kill MJ!!   
  
The Widow Maker's rage was insatiable with these thoughts and it would not rest until revenge was had. There would be blood tonight!!   
  
  
  
Spider-Man sighed. Finally, a somewhat peaceful evening. Only two attempted purse snatchers and one little boy running into midtown traffic to save. That could certainly be considered a slow night. Now, if only he had found something out about Betty's attack while web slinging. He'd just have to hope something turned up in the archives when he looked with MJ.  
  
MJ, he groaned. How'd he let her talk him into helping?  
  
All he needed was her getting involved and getting hurt, or worse attacked with venom like Betty and maybe even worse than that!   
  
Spidey sighed. Just who the hell would use a spider's venom to kill? And why did he have the feeling he'd get blamed for this in the end just for being a misunderstood, friendly neighborhood spider-man?  
  
An explosion suddenly shook Spidey off his very web strand and he managed to catch onto a light-post to keep from falling. His spider sense rang through his head and he looked around for the reason behind the loud explosion. "I didn't realize it was the Fourth already!" Another explosion shook the light-post and Spidey would have fallen if not for his adhesive grip. "Those sure don't look like Macy's fireworks. Not nearly as pretty." Spidey quipped, snagging a cornerstone and slinging off in the direction of the explosions. So much for a slow night.   
  
Upon landing on the building across from the explosions, Spidey noticed two giant holes in the side of a large building. A bank, of course. Robbery. A very loud, lousy robbery! Spidey would have rolled his eyes if anyone could see him do it. There was one robber running in and out of the large holes he'd blown into the building, carrying mounds of cash in his grasp. He didn't even wear a mask!   
  
"Well, this should be an easy one," Spidey clasped his hands together, putting together a plan of action. He waited for the clumsy robber to run back inside again before webslinging down to the ground and quickly webbed up the two holes the criminal had made. Just as he thought, the robber ran right into the webbing, arms filled with cash now stuck to Spidey's webbing.   
  
"You really are the worst robber I ever met," Spidey shook his head at the klutz. Getting closer he recognized the face. He had caught this man trying to rob a bank once before. "And obviously your quality time in prison did nothing to make you see the error of your ways."   
  
"Spider-Man! I'm gonna kill you!" he growled.   
  
"How exactly do you plan to do that. You seem a bit... stuck ... to me," Spidey quipped lamely.  
  
"Just wait webhead!"   
  
Spidey lifted his arm, pretending to look at a watch and he tapped his wrist. "Just exactly how long would you like me to wait? I've got a hot date tonight."   
  
The thief struggled to no avail, only catching him further in the web. "You'll get yours. I promise you that. You'll be sorry you messed with Herman Schultz!!"   
  
"Herman...and here I thought Spidey was a lame name..." Spidey sighed, the sounds of sirens wailing finally drawing close. "Well, 'll be going now. Don't get too caught up in visiting again soon, Herman. You should enjoy your time behind bars more this time around. I'm sure we can reschedule our tea time for a few years from now. Come to think of it, 'm not much of a tea person. I'm more a coffee guy. So you'll understand if I cancel indefinitely, right? No hard feelings?"  
  
"Go to hell you freak!!" Herman continued to struggle against the web, now caught on his cheek.  
  
"Obviously an avid tea man yourself..." Spidey muttered. "Besides I may be a freak, but atleast 'm not an idiot, Herman. I mean, c'mon!! You ran right into the web!"   
  
This caused Herman to struggle more in anger.   
  
Police cars screeched around the corner, zooming down the block.   
  
"See ya later, Herman!!" Spidey waved, snagging the furthest building he could reach.  
  
"You haven't seen the last of me, Spider-Man!!!" Herman growled.   
  
"Lucky me," he drawled, swinging away before the boys in blue shot at him.  
  



	18. No Retreat, No Surrender

**Hello everyone! Yes, I'm alive! And I'm back! I know I was gone for way too long and I could give a load of excuses, but long winded explanation short, my dad's been VERY sick, I got a new job, another new job now and lord knows what will happen next. The good news is the story is almost done and WILL be completed, I promise... no matter how long it takes. I am about 1-2 chapters ahead of here so more should be coming soon. And I will try for a sequel. Who knows... Anyway, without further long delay another chapter of the Widow Maker Thanks for your patience and please remember to review. They are better than breathing air:) **

Chap 18: No Retreat, No Surrender

_Dido: White Flag_

_I know you think that I shouldn't still love you  
I'll tell you that  
But if I didn't say it  
Well, I'd still have felt it  
Where's the sense in that?_

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder  
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess  
And destruction to come back again  
And I caused nothing but trouble  
I understand if you can't talk to me again  
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"  
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door 

_  
I'm in love and always will be_

And when we meet  
As I'm sure we will  
All that was then  
Will be there still  
I'll let it pass  
And hold my tongue  
And you will think  
That I've moved on

Well I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be  


Peter walked down the street, approaching the Bugle building. His eyes searched around the area as he crossed the street and drew closer to the front entrance of the Bugle. Peter came to a stop, checking his watch when MJ was nowhere in sight. He sighed heavily, eyes roving over a lanky figure in a long, dark trench coat, slouched against the glass window displaying the address of the newspaper. A fedora hat pulled low across their face, gave no hints of who was hidden under the coat. No warning came from his spider sense, so Peter assumed the stranger was safe.

He stuck his hands in his pockets of his jeans and began to pace back and forth, waiting for MJ. He paced a good five minutes and checked his watch at least ten times before he let out another sigh, hoping she hadn't gotten into trouble on the way here. On the other hand, maybe she got the hint and realized she shouldn't try to help considering the danger. All the same, before he went inside, he wanted to make sure she hadn't already come by. He turned to the stranger in the trench coat, wondering if he should even bother the man. He could have seen MJ though. Maybe he had come too late.

"Err... excuse me..." Pete stepped closer to the stranger, still no warning from his spider sense. "You didn't happen to see a lady around here before I showed up?" She's about this tall," he motioned up to his neck with his hand. "Blue-green eyes, redhead, really cute..." he trailed off when the stranger didn't even lift their head to acknowledge him.

Peter waited but when he was sure he would get no response, he ran his fingers through his hair. "Look, I just wanna be sure she's ok, can ya tell me if you may have seen her or not?"

"Well, I dunno. How cute was she?" the head lifted and under the fedora, green eyes sparkled.

Peter gaped at her, not believing his eyes. "MJ?"

"Fooled you," she snickered, unfolding her arms and grinning at him like a Cheshire cat.

"What are you doing? What's with the get up?" Peter raised his brows.

"I'm just practicing my acting. I had to make sure I fit the part of a reporter, so I can get in the Bugle. Lookie, I even got this neat looking press badge," she lifted the lapel of her coat, showing off a bad knockoff of a press pass.

"Please don't tell me you wasted your money on this get up," Pete chuckled.

"What? Why?" MJ frowned.

"MJ, reporters don't dress like this. I think you've read too many mystery novels," Pete gave a wry grin.

"Huh… oh well, guess its a good thing I brought back up," she unbuttoned the coat and shed the hat, revealing a royal blue sweater, jeans and her hair tied tight and neatly into a ponytail at the base of her neck. She slipped a pair of reading glasses over her nose and fished out a notepad and pen. "One student majoring in journalism coming right up. Now, are we gonna do some research or what?" She grinned, smacking the hat on Pete's head.

Pete watched her slip into the revolving door of the Daily Bugle and he pulled the hat from his head, glaring at her back. He stalked in after her, careful not to be smacked by the revolving door. He dodged in and out of the door effortlessly. He tossed the hat into the trash bin conveniently located right by the entrance and jogged to catch up to MJ before she got to the security desk.

"Will you slow down? Security will kick you right out if they don't know you!" Pete shouted in a whisper as they drew near the desk.

"Relax," MJ winked as they approached the desk. Behind it sat a heavyset man with dark skin and a thin mustache. His eyes were a few shades darker than his skin, almost black in appearance of the main floor's dim lights. He wore an unfriendly expression and his demeanor seemed unbreakable in his security outfit…

"Evening, Mr. Parker," his voice was as deep as MJ expected.

"Hi, Carl. Sorry to bother you so late. I need to get up to the morgue though," Peter eyed the security guard trying to remain at ease, knowing the man took his job seriously, too seriously. If he seemed demanding, Carl would turn him away immediately and he would be forced to sneak in as Spider-Man alone without MJ. As serious as Carl took his job, he still couldn't detect good ol' Spidey. For a moment, he thought about pissing the security guard off just so MJ would have no choice but to go home, but he did not like the idea of her getting home alone now. Plus, he needed to help Betty.

Carl eyed Peter as if he was trying to see through him. Then his eyes fell on MJ and his expression did not change at first but then he shook his head as if he was agreeing with whatever his thoughts were.

"We're researching a story, Carl. She's a freelance reporter," Pete informed.

"Did I ask any of that now, Mr. Parker?" Carl snapped, glaring at MJ. "She's never freelanced for us before."

"She's new," Peter added automatically, cringing as Carl's glare turned to him.

"With all the information you're freely giving, who needs to do research?" Carl crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. "Go home, Mr. Parker. Tomorrow is another day. No one gets into the Bugle past 8pm unless it's Mr. Jameson himself or I receive his approval."

MJ's shoulders slumped, deflated.

"Oh, no...no...no Carl, please! We're doing a very important story!" Peter pleaded desperately.

"You're trying my patience, Parker!" Carl growled.

"But-"

"It's no use, Peter. We may as well just wait. Obviously, a strong, intense man who clearly shows he is in control of things and in charge of the safety of this building, such as Carl cannot be wavered in his decision. We wouldn't want to be a nuisance," MJ put a hand on Pete's shoulder to silence him. She turned her eyes away from Pete and back to the burly guard. "I'm sorry to bother you, Carl. I hope you forgive our intrusion, but we were hoping to break this story for the Bugle first. Nevertheless, it seems like we will just have to watch it on Channel 5 news later tomorrow. My only regret is poor Mr. Jameson will be scooped…" MJ pouted.

Peter watched MJ's face turn to complete sorrow and her teal green eyes turned dark and her lips pouted. The puppy dog look was in full effect and lord help him; he became trapped in her sadness. He wanted to reach out and hug her just so she would smile! God, she was good at what she did.

This was quite obvious with one look at Carl who seemed to be melting in his seat.

"Have a goodnight, Carl," MJ gave her million-watt smile, breaking the cloud of sadness before she reverted to the puppy dog look. She then turned to Peter and linked arms with him, leading him to the exit. "It's a good thing we freelance, Peter or we'd be fired for sure!" MJ said loud enough for Carl to hear.

"I suppose it will be all right. C'mon, back, kids. Bob is still up in the morgue anyway. I sure don't wanna be the reason Jameson is scooped. I took this job for stability you know." Carl stood up, waving them back over.

"Oh? Are you sure, Carl?" MJ turned eyes alight with hope.

"I better get some credit in this story somewhere, missy," Carl picked up the phone, punching in a code to unlock the door to the elevators.

"Oh, definitely!" MJ jogged over and kissed his cheek quickly. "Thank you so much!"

Peter rolled his eyes as MJ kissed the overweight, grump. He walked to the door, opening it as he waited for MJ.

Carl almost smiled as MJ strolled away. He looked back up at Peter and his somewhat pleasant expression turned back to an icy cold glare. "Don't take all night, Parker!"

It remained silent until the elevator doors swished closed. Then, MJ turned to Peter with a grin that spread from ear to ear. "I told you! Am I good or what? Had him eating right out of my hands. Guys are a sucker for this face y'know." she smirked, arms crossed. "Even if you're not."

Peter was about to retort when she put a finger to his lips to silence him.

"I'd also just like to point out that Spidey's not the only one capable of disguises. See how good an actor I am! Stupid soap opera... acting lessons my a-"

"MJ!" Pete cut her off this time.

"Huh?"

"Will you push the 2nd floor?" Pete gave her a half grin, eyeing the floor buttons.

"Oh..." she bit her lip, hoping she was not turning red. She pushed the button silently.

The elevator dinged and began to travel up.

"And just for the record..." he looked upwards as he spoke, too shy to look at her. "You had me. You always have me."

MJ bit her lip even harder, knowing there would be no containing her smile or the tint of red coloring her cheeks no matter how hard she suppressed it. She looked down at her shoes to hide her delight.

"Though, the kiss may have been a bit too much," Pete added after the awkward silence between them became as unbearable. as the lame elevator music's instrumental version of, 'I Will Always Love You'.

MJ glared at him out of the corner of her eye as the elevator came to a halt and with a ding, the doors slid open. She continued to glare at his back after he got out. She sighed, rolling her eyes as she followed him before the doors closed. "Jealous..." she muttered.

The Bugle morgue was nothing as she expected. Of course, with it being called a morgue it left one with a certain visual expectation. She half expected to see long, cold walls lit in fluorescent green lights, reflected off surgical steel slabs. However, the entryway was dark, with lamps lining the walls, almost resembling a library or a dungeon without the brick walls.

Farther down, the room opened up to a wide, counter desk, separating the room. To the far corner was a swinging wooden gate that marked the border between the morgue and the front waiting area. On the gate, a large sign in bold letters read "Morgue Personnel Only, No One Allowed Without Permission"

"Peter! Long time no see!" a friendly, accented voice called out.

"Too long," Pete grinned at Bob, the lead caretaker in the morgue and newly turned computer maven. All of the Bugle's records and old printings were slowly being recorded into computers by year, relation, names and authors. This would make them easier to research.

"What brings you up to the house of the dead?" Bob grinned, holding out his hand to shake Peter's hand. "And you've brought a friend. Hello there lass!"

MJ grinned, immediately liking the silver haired man. He had a cute matching mustache and his overall demeanor seemed much friendlier than Carl the security guard's did. Plus, she loved his Irish accent. It made him seem even more worldly and interesting. What an interesting job he must have working in a place like this! "Hello."

"MJ, this is Bob. Bob, Mary Jane. Bob here is our computer genius, even if he doesn't look it," Peter winked. "All the Bugle's old editions are slowly being computerized and Bob here's the man in charge."

"Ay, pleasure. However, I wish they would leave those old babies alone. Nothing better than sitting up all night, flipping through old papers, the ink still smelling sweet, coffee burning in a mug beside you and a pen and paper in hand..." Bob sighed.

"Bob sees a lot of reporters down here," Peter informed.

"Indeed, laddie. More than I see my own wife!" he chuckled.

Pete grinned, his dimples sparkling. "We're here to research a story, Bob."

Bob eyed them with a twinkle. "That all?"

MJ flushed, hoping not to let on to how much she wished what Bob was implying was true.

"MJ's studying freelance reporting in college. We're just classmates, Bob." Pete rolled his eyes at the older man.

"Not your girlfriend, eh?" Bob teased, enjoying the flushed faces of the two young ones.

"Just a friend," Peter answered.

"That's a shame for you laddie. It's not often such a fine looking lass will cross your path," Bob chuckled. "Enough of that now! Here I am embarrassing you both. Shameless I am!"

MJ chuckled.

"What can I pull up for you?" Bob asked, cracking his knuckles over the keyboard, preparing to go into a typing frenzy.

"It's actually... Well… the thing is... it..."

"We'd like to find this stuff on our own..." MJ jumped in.

"You two kids sure you just don't need a place to snog?" Bob raised a brow.

Peter flushed a shade of red not much darker than MJ's hair.

"I'm only pulling yer chain!" Bob grinned. "I know you're a good guy, Pete. That's why 'm ready to help you out here. You see, only the Bugle morgue personnel and a select few reporters are supposed to go through the archives and pull the papers you need, but... I know Mr. Jameson is gone for the night and it's just good ol' Carl and us. Therefore,... if you two kids wanna come around the counter, 'll open the library up to ya and there's even a computer inside set up with all the editions we've managed to get computerized so far. There is coffee and a few things to snack on back here too. You're not a reporter, Pete, but I guess a photographer is better than nothing. C'mon back." Bob explained, opening the wooden gate for them to pass by.

"I don't wanna get you into any kind of trouble, Bob. Are you sure?" Pete hesitated.

"Sure! No secrets back here. At least none 'm aware of anyway. Help yourselves," Bob offered.

"Thanks so much!" Pete grinned, sliding through the door onto the other side of the counter.

"That's really sweet of you, Bob. Thanks!" MJ added as she followed Pete.

Bob grinned, fiddling with some keys to a door a few feet behind the large counter. "If you two need anything 'll be right out here. Just give a good holler. And don't get lost..." he swung open the door and Pete and MJ stepped in.

MJ whistled long and low, eyes widening as 10-foot high shelves that had to be at least 3 yards long and about twenty aisles deep suddenly surrounded them. She inhaled the musty smell of old paper and squinted in the soft light. Thank God, there was coffee.

The wind whipped viciously, sending strands of her ebony tainted hair in all directions. Her long, slender figures, gloved in shiny black gripped the ledge she clung to tightly. She licked her blood red lips as her dark eyes searched and waited in the dark shadows for her prey to crawl into her web. Her body shook with the insatiable urge for destruction and her veins ached for the revenge. A deep throbbing pulsed through her and her teeth came over her lips. She bit down hard as her hands shook and she knew under her gloves they were growing green with venom and if she was unsure of that, the growing lengths of claws protruding from the tips of her hands certainly told her the venom was building in her.

She closed her eyes. She hoped for the calming blackness needed to stay calm. Instead, she was greeted with the very thing that drove her to the brinks of madness; visions of the abuse she received.

The verbal putdowns,

The physical beatings.

The forced slavery.

The brutal rapes.

All there, all for her to relive everyday.

But... that was the past.

Her grip crumbled the concrete ledge under her hold. The wind whipped through her dark form and she chuckled. Oh yeah, now _she_ was the thing to fear.

Finally, a laughing, happy couple strolled nearby and right into her web.

Widow Maker watched with her head cocked to the side as the couple talked, whispering to each other and laughing gaily. They appeared to have not a care in the world, no bad words spoken between them. They seemed to have just pure bliss, a truly happy, loving couple.

How DARE they! Didn't they know? Didn't they realize how WRONG it was! They did not deserve this. She did! She DID!

Easy Widow Maker... Amber spoke to herself. We want to enjoy this don't we? There's no need to make short work of them.

Oh, but the rage was just much too much! The very venom running through her veins was dripping now from her claws in anticipation, just like a dog salivating over a bone.

She flipped in the air and caught another ledge on a building closer to the path the couple walked. Neither looked up, too distracted in each other to know they were being watched and tracked. She hid in the shadows just incase, lingering, awaiting the perfect moment to strike. When the opportunity became perfect, her body quivered with excitement and she made quick work of the distance separating her from her prey.

She landed easily on her feet in front of them in a display of acrobatics that could possibly even make Spider-Man jealous. Of course, the looks on the faces of the couple in front of her were too priceless to think of anyone but the revenge right now. The shock and horror registering in their eyes made her red lips curve into a bright smile under her mask. "Wonderful night for a romantic stroll, isn't it?"

Of course, neither of them responded and their terror only doubled as she began to cackle and held up her claws to their line of vision. Like a cobra snapping at its prey, she gripped the male in her grasp, fending off his struggles with ease. She snickered at his weak blows, easily taking them or dodging them.

"No!" his lover cried. Desperate to help, she attempted to jump at the Widow Maker, but she was prepared and smacked the woman away with ease.

"Do not try to stop me! No one can stop me!" she snarled, gripping the man by the throat. "No one is allowed to be happy. No one but me. You will suffer."

The man made a last ditch attempt and swung an open fist across the Widow Maker's black-masked face, taking the woman behind the rage by utter surprise. It sent Amber flying back and she stumbled to the ground. Get up you fool! Get up! Don't let this man do this to you or to us!

For as shocked as Amber was, the Widow Maker was enraged and she jumped up powerfully, ready to kill the man without another thought. However, she was not through. The Widow Maker wanted to make him pay. She threw a crushing kick into his gut and once again gripped him by the throat. Then she turned to the frightened woman with coal black eyes. "Do you love him?"

The woman had dread and fear in her eyes that spoke the volumes her voice did not.

"Answer!" Widow Maker demanded, tightening her grip on the man's throat as he gasped desperately for air.

"Yes!" she cried, tears falling from her eyes.

"Tell me, does he make you happy? Does he make you smile? Does he make your entire world a better place?" she continued.

The woman was frozen, afraid of what to do.

Widow Maker turned away from the woman and looked at the man, dieing in her grasp as she gripped with vice-like strength. She studied his face. "Does he make you want to wake up each day, knowing he is at your side? Does he make all the bad seem... insignificant? Is he your whole world?" she stroked his cheek with a wicked grin on her face.

"Yes, Yes, please… please don't do this!" the woman sunk to her knees, begging her.

Widow Maker tilted her head as if she was trying to understand the woman. "Do what? He will only hurt you in the end. He will destroy you; rip you apart piece by piece until there is nothing left..."

"No, that's not true! Tom is a good man! He would never hurt me!" she whimpered, looking at her lover, and Amber could see she was trying to let him know she loved him.

"A good man is hard to find..." Widow Maker snickered, knowing she did not deserve him. All the good men were taken. None for her, there was only pain for her! Without a second thought, the Widow Maker's strong grasp twisted the man's neck and with a sickening snap, his neck broke and he was dead before his eyes even rolled back. "And even harder to keep, my dear."

"No!" the woman screamed in absolute horror, as if she had been killed herself.

Not a problem, Widow Maker thought.

She dropped the lifeless body to the sidewalk and turned to the weeping widow. She licked her lips as she slinked up to the woman, enjoying every moment of her torment. "If I can't have him, neither can you," she snarled. "No one is to be happy, but me!"

The woman continued to cry, crawling to her lover's lifeless body.

Widow Maker let her crawl past her to the body of her lover. She even kneeled beside her as the woman clutched the man's body in her arms. "Awww...there, there..." Widow Maker cooed, reaching out and stroking the woman's pale hair. "Do not weep young widow. For you will not be a widow for long." Amber promised, her claws throbbing with unattained satisfaction.

"Get away from me, you freak! You killed my husband! You ruined our life! He was such a good man! Get away!" she shoved at Widow Maker hysterically.

Nevertheless, as she pushed, Widow Maker gripped the woman's wrist, twisting it at an impossible angle. She swung the woman around so her face was close to her own. With her other hand, she ever so gently dragged her throbbing claws along the woman's exposed throat. She grinned sadistically as the claws left drips of the venom running down her throat. "Do you think you are worthy of such love? Have you suffered long and hard your entire life to be worthy of such a good man?"

The woman became paralyzed in fear again. Her eyes were wide with fright and she gasped short, quick breaths.

"I didn't think so. Therefore, I shall do us both a favor. You took another good man from me, and I took him from you. Do you think we are even?"

The woman did not know what to think of this psycho, so she just shook her head in agreement as much as she could under the attacker's hold.

Widow Maker loosened her hold upon the woman's head. Then, before the woman could blink, she took her free hand and rammed the claws of venom into her bare, exposed jugular. The venom let loose, immediately filling the woman's body in toxic levels. Blood dripped out from the punctured holes even before Widow Maker removed her claws. She eventually ripped her claws free from the woman's skin and the woman's body slumped to the ground, dead. Blood dripped out the holes in her neck and Widow Maker smirked as she stood up and crossed her arms over the red hourglass pattern on her bodysuit. "The score is never even, never settled," she told the lifeless form lying beside her dead husband. "Not until I get what's mine. Peter Parker."

They had never attacked so viciously before, never used so much venom in one body. The violence was a heady rush and it was never enough! But, we are not done here tonight, Amber. We crave more revenge. We want to empty ourselves into the veins of the enemy. Man.

Amber's hands began to shake as the venom pumped faster and faster in her veins, her eyes and form remaining pitch black. The hunt was on again.

Hours later, they were knee deep in newspapers and Pete was sure he was developing carpal tunnel from all the typing he had done on the computer. Moreover, where had it gotten them? Nowhere.

MJ was leaning on her elbow, staring at the page in front of her, all the worlds blurring together as she tried to concentrate. She sighed, looking at Peter from the corner of her eye. He didn't seem to notice or was ignoring her. She looked back at the page, fumbling through a few Spider-Man stories in the past few months. She still had so many questions for him about his alter ego. However, she was sure she would not be getting any answers anytime soon.

She stood up, going to the mini fridge near the entrance and grabbed bottled water. On her way back, she rubbed at her eyes and sighed once more. "Don't you wanna take a break, Pete? We've been at this for an hour and we haven't spoken since we split up looking between the online files and the actual papers."

"Nah 'm ok…" he muttered with his chin resting on his fist as he scrolled over the screen with the mouse.

"Well, 'm not. _My _eyes need a break."

"So take a break," Pete remarked.

"Want some water?" MJ wiggled the bottle in front of his eyes, breaking his concentration.

"MJ!" he wailed.

"Oh, relax, Tiger!" she rolled her eyes, pushing the keyboard away from the table and plopping down on the table in front of him. "Take a break!"

"MJ, I don't have time to take a break. Lives are in danger. I told you this was important. If you don't want to help anymore, than just go home," he snapped, grabbing a hold of her hips to slide her away.

MJ was impressed with his strength as he easily moved her away. But, she quickly became annoyed by his snappy tone. "Look, Peter! I am quite interested in helping you and will sit here all night with you to help you find some answers. You won't do anyone any good by getting frustrated and burning yourself out. I assume even _you_ get tired. Just take five minutes, have a cup of coffee and take a deep breath. Then we can begin again. No one is saying quit."

Pete exhaled, rubbing the bridge of his nose and nodding. "Sorry, Red. I just don't wanna see anyone else I know get hurt."

MJ nodded in understanding, wanting to console him so badly for his concern. She hopped off the table and poured him a cup of coffee, bringing it to him. "Well, why don't you tell me more about this incident with…? Betty was her name?"

He nodded.

"So tell me more about it. Maybe it will help us find something," she handed him the steaming mug.

"Thanks, MJ. I'm sorry about snapping. Betty is a good friend, I don't wanna see her get hurt again," he sipped the coffee, pulling the keyboard in front of him again.

"Well, what have you searched by?" MJ looked over his shoulder, leaning on the back of his chair.

"Well, I tried looking for attacks involving the venom of the black widows but nothing really came up except for random poisonings in desert areas where a black widow's habitat would likely be found..." Pete muttered, staring at the screen.

"Hmm... do you think this may be the start of something new? Maybe an answer to Spider-Man's good-doing?" MJ thought aloud.

"Maybe, but not many people think Spidey _is_ a good a guy, Red..." Pete pursed his lips.

MJ stood up, resting her hands on his shoulders, gently rubbing them in hopes of relieving some of his tension. "Ok… well... maybe..." she continued to think aloud. "Have you looked up the effects of the venom? Maybe there are some attacks with those symptoms listed. It's possible they may be related. I don't think many doctors in NY are looking for the cause of effect to be black widow venom."

"So what you're saying is, maybe there _are _more attacks similar to Betty's but because they weren't looking for black widow venom, they aren't a part of the story...," he reiterated.

"Exactly," MJ nodded, continuing to soothe away the tension in his tight muscles. She could feel the lumps breaking away under his well-formed muscle tone.

Pete, desperately trying to concentrate on the screen in front of him and not MJ's hands on him began typing away on an internet search engine looking for the physical effects of the venom.

Satisfied when he had a whole list of reactions listed on a blank pad of paper, he brought up the old editions of papers again. "MJ, why don't you grab a box of editions from the time Spider-Man showed up till now. Maybe the black widow and Spidey are linked…"

"How long ago exactly would that be, Peter?" MJ stopped massaging and awaited an answer, hoping she could piece some info together.

"Just grab anything from the past year...Actually..." he stopped when the screen filled with info that made him change his mind. There were a listing of stories for the past several years that could easily involve the venom and all within the immediate States. "Never mind. We're gonna need to start from the beginning. MJ, I hope you're in for a long night. Even still, I don't think we're gonna crack this open in one night."

MJ blew a flyaway wisp of her hair off her face. "I'm prepared if you're prepared for a lot of alone time together." she hinted.

That thought didn't exactly make him jump for joy; there was a lot of underlying tension between them since Christmas. Nevertheless, he was going to need any help she was willing to offer to keep Betty and the city safe from another attack. He turned in the swivel chair, seeing the look of hope lying behind her tired teal eyes and her defensive stance was totally lost on him. He knew how much she would enjoy this time no matter how tense, as he would too. "Guess we'll just have to grin and bare it. Make the best of it..."

"Right, for the good of the city, and keeping Spider-Man sane," MJ nodded in agreement.

"Hey you two!" Bob's voice rang out from the top of the aisle. "I need to be heading home, but looks like you two haven't even gotten started. I'll leave the keys with you, just lock up the door and leave the keys in the drop safe on your way out, eh?"

"Are you sure you won't get in trouble, Bob?" Pete stood up.

"Nah, just you two kids behave yourself. I don't want to come in tomorrow morning and find you two kids in any precarious positions buried under newspapers!" Bob cackled, bursting into more laughter as he tossed a very red Peter the keys.

"Thanks Bob," Pete replied voice nearly cracking.

He winked, looking at MJ. "Now I wanna hear all about this story you're cracking when you've got it all figured out."

"Sure thing," MJ giggled, finding Bob's outlandish humor invigorating in the stale environment.

"Goodnight kids. Pete, don't let this one outta yer sight, eh?" Bob winked again.

"Night Bob," MJ replied as Pete sunk back in his chair and back to the computer, pretending to not hear or ignoring Bob's advice.

The door to the main entrance clicked closed before MJ moved again. "Well, now it really _is_ just the two of us, Tiger. Whatever will you do with me now?"

Peter chose to ignore her question and continued searching stories.

MJ smirked, knowing he chose to ignore her.

It was just about 2am when Peter sighed heavily, flipping off the monitor. A few reports on dead bodies filled with venom were printed out and in a folder at his side. He'd have to siphon through them and see which connected and which didn't; which were real spider attacks and which were done by someone with a twisted mind. And were any related to any of the stories on Betty's laptop? The trails seemed numerous and winding but he would take each one as fast as he could or more like as fast as his web slinging would take him, in order to stop this maniac, who or whatever they were.

It was going to become harder and harder to do just that too. In a few days he would try to return to a normal life of Peter Parker the college student, on top of Peter Parker the nephew, the friend, and the photographer. Wouldn't that just complicate things? Just what he needed. More complications! Yippee!

Speaking of complications... he turned to his right and smiled at the most painful and ironically the most beautiful complication in his life. He was tempted to reach out and caress her sleeping cheek, to brush away the soft red strands of hair covering her face. She had fallen asleep about a half hour ago, buried in old newspapers of his alter ego and any connection there may be. Poor MJ tried so hard to help and he had to admit she did help him.

He hated to wake her, but she certainly couldn't sleep here and he had to get her home before it got any later than it already was. He reached out and gently shook her shoulder. "Wake up, sleepy,"

MJ stirred quickly, eyes shooting open. "Huh?"

"Hey," Peter chuckled at her dazed expression.

"Are we at your place?" MJ asked in confusion.

"At the Bugle," Peter told her. "Research."

"Ugh, right. Betty was attacked, black widow venom, blah, blah..." MJ lifted her head and rubbed at her tired eyes. "So how'd we do?" she frowned, deflated that she had fallen asleep on him.

"Oh, don't worry, MJ. We found quite a bit." Peter chuckled. His chuckles turned into full blown laughter as he looked at MJ after she finished rubbing at her eyes.

"What's so funny?" she pouted, feeling as if she was being laughed at.

"Cheap Bugle ink..." Peter reached out and before he knew what he was doing, he was wiping the black smudged ink from the Bugle's newspapers off her cheek where she'd fallen asleep.

"Oh," she replied shortly, afraid to break the spell between them. She did smile at him when he smiled at her and she found herself swimming in his cerulean blue orbs and suddenly she wished they would let her drown in them, never to be seen again.

Peter found the only functioning part of his body seemed to be the index finger he used to wipe the ink from her face, otherwise he was paralyzed. He was caught in her green-blue eyes and her thousand watt smile that jump started his heart. That smile he always wished was for him and here it was, all for him.

And now that very same smile he longed for broke the spell.

He stood up gathering the folder of print-outs and clearing his throat. "We should get you home before it gets any later. Besides I don't think our friend Carl downstairs will be thrilled to see us leaving so late."

MJ swallowed the disappointment like a spoonful of nasty medicine, and took it in stride as she had been the last few weeks. She attempted a smile and stood up. "We could NOT take the elevator."

"Too risky. Besides, I can actually afford a cab, may as well splurge when I can," Pete helped her on with her coat.

They walked to the elevator in silence and took the elevator down in silence and neither even breathed when walking past a disgruntled looking Carl. They walked out into the cool night air and MJ shivered despite her warm coat.

Peter frowned sympathetically. "Wait here, 'll hail us a cab."

MJ nodded, burying her face in the collar of her coat as she attempted to keep warm. She didn't have to wait too long; Peter managed to get a cab within minutes. She slipped into the heated cab's backseat and was prepared to give directions when Peter slipped in beside her and told the cabbie where to go. She turned to him in surprise. "I didn't think you were going with me."

"Just wanna make sure you get home ok, that's all. Do you mind?" he asked softly.

She shook her head with a sad smile. "I never mind your company, Tiger. I just figured you'd go straight home since we're already on the East Side. No point in you traveling to the Upper West Side only to come back to the East Village."

"No problem. I have a few things to do before I get home anyway," he winked at her.

She nodded in understanding. Spider-Man's job was never over and mostly because Pete would not allow it to be. She remained in those thoughts the entire trip home. She watched the world of NY outside her window but paid no mind to the lights, cars, and people walking the streets even at this hour. Her thoughts centered on Spider-Man and the man behind the mask who gave up all sense of a normal life for the ungrateful people of NY. Just what drove the responsibility Peter felt to be Spider-Man? Why wouldn't he tell her? What could have happened that was so terrible? It would have to be pretty devastating to keep them apart. After all, that's what was keeping them apart wasn't it? His responsibility and duty to keep her safe and out of Spider-Man's life was what kept her at arm's length but no closer. MJ sighed. And she allowed it simply because any attention from Peter was better than none. Right?

Right?

Hello? Earth to MJ's brain. Come in brain. This is the part where you agree with my heart!

Maybe she needed to get away for awhile. Leave NY, work on her career. Maybe go to Los Angeles, try the movies... She turned to look at Peter, fighting off sleep as his head nodded down and his eyes drooped closed, then snapped open to the look at the city outside he was determined to protect. All on his own.

Or maybe not so much. She _did_ help him tonight and she _did_ promise to be there for him whenever he needed to talk. She couldn't possibly leave Peter or NY. Whether he admitted to her or to himself or not, he needed her! And she has always needed him. That was no secret. She could never separate Peter from her life and she would never give up hope that one day he would realize just how much he couldn't live without loving her as he said he did.

Maybe one day he would trust her enough to tell her everything and then they could finally be together. All she had to do was hold on to hope. Which seemed so simple: if it only was that simple. She did have to give herself credit and admire her determination and spunk when it came to Peter. Men in her life had always seemed to let her down and even Peter had, but it was only because of his responsibility as Spider-Man. She had a tendency to run from men so she could avoid being hurt, being in pain, yet she could not seem to do that with Peter. She kept coming back for more no matter how many times he turned her down or hurt her like the others had. She let her heart rule her decisions when it came to him. She had never loved Flash or Harry like she did Peter. She even gave up on her father after a time, but Peter Parker was a whole other story. Could he possibly be the one? The one she pictured the rest of her life with?

Whoa! Was happy-go-lucky, party girl, too good to be tied down, too afraid to commit to a man, ready to settle down and trust someone completely? Sure her free spirited, too many men, so little time attitude was a facade to hide her pain and suffering, but she never had to be that way with Peter anymore. She never had to keep anything from him anymore and he seemed to love her for who she really was.

Well, why not? Why wouldn't Peter be the perfect choice to be the man she spent the rest of her life with? Oh, right. He was Spider-Man and he _couldn't _or _wouldn't_ return her love. Perfect, MJ. You sure know how to pick 'em.

"Hey Red? You ok?" his voice broke through the fog in her mind.

MJ turned to the direction of Peter's concerned voice. His blue eyes were fixed on her and she saw nothing but worry in his gaze. "Huh? Oh, yeah 'm fine, Tiger."

Peter didn't believe her for a second. "Well, you're home." he informed as he paid the cabbie and opened the door. Then he helped her out and the cabbie drove away. "Let's get you upstairs, MJ. You look pretty tired."

There was nothing but silence between them again up until MJ flipped the light on in her apartment. She fished a note off the coffee table from Gina telling her she'd be gone for the entire night again. She sighed; tossing it in the trash can beside the couch.

"MJ, what's wrong?" Peter asked as he watched her read a note.

"Oh. Nothing. Just another night alone. Gina's gone again." MJ flopped onto the couch.

"Sorry, Red," he frowned, placing the folder down and sitting beside her. "I can't stay too long, either."

"I know, Tiger. It's just, since the Goblin... well, I hate being alone. But, don't worry. I know Spider-Man has work to do," MJ gave a weak smile.

This was exactly why he could never be with MJ the way he wanted. He would never be there when she needed him. "I really am so sorry, Mary Jane."

"Now, don't go feeling all guilty on me, Pete. That's not my intention. We worked well together tonight and I don't wanna spoil it," MJ got up and walked into her bedroom, flipping on the light. She went to her balcony window and glanced out at the seemingly peaceful night. She turned around, knowing Peter was lingering in her bedroom doorway. "It seems so peaceful out there, though. Do you really need to go?"

"I do..." he paused, trying to find a way to explain this. Staying here with her was only going to lead to even more awkward situations between them. Another night like Christmas Eve could not happen between them. Holding MJ in his arms again would lead to complications he could not handle. He loved her so much, but giving her false hope, as well as himself, would not get them anywhere. "I... "

MJ waved him off from speaking. She didn't want to hear any excuses or lies when they worked so hard to get this far. She knew why he wouldn't stay. "More research tomorrow?"

"Looks like it. But, it may need to be done alone, MJ. As Spider-Man," Peter frowned, knowing he was pushing away again.

"Oh, right. Well, I have to meet with my agent anyway. I have a few auditions coming up. Plus, I have to work in the moring. Maybe we can do those photos soon? It would really help my resume," she walked to her bed, fluffing her pillows and pulling down the blankets.

"Sure, MJ. Just gimme a few days. Just prepare that thousand watt smile for the cameras," Peter promised, hoping he'd keep that promise.

"Hey, any plans for New Year's?" MJ asked, turning back to him.

He hadn't even thought about it. New Year's Eve was just a few days away. "No, I hadn't even thought about it."

"Hmm, maybe we can… hang out or something? Any idea what your resolution will be?" MJ asked, curiously.

Peter could think of a thousand he could never stick to. He raised his brows and gave a childish grin. "Dunno, but at least I still have a few days to decide yet."

MJ yawned, knowing her resolution would be to never give up on Peter. No matter how hard he pushed, no matter how much it hurt, she would never give up on him.

"What about you?"

"Well, it's a New Year, Tiger. You never know what could happen." she smiled. Maybe one day you won't run and hide from me anymore. Maybe one day, you'll crawl right into this bed beside me and be with me every night.

"Yeah, I guess so," he muttered as she turned to him with a new, refreshed, radiant smile. It amazed him that no matter how many times she seemed knocked down, she managed to smile again. "Well, I'll let you get to sleep, MJ."

"Sure you can't stay? Even for a little while?" she tried once more, but he was already walking towards the balcony.

"Mind if I don't use the front door?" Peter ignored her pleas, preparing to web up the folder and took off his jacket.

"Not a problem, Spider-Man. Do you want to leave your stuff here?" MJ walked over to him as he pulled his sweater over his head, revealing the red and blue bodysuit underneath.

"Nah, I can just web it up," he pulled his mask out of his jeans before slipping those off too. "You're enjoying this aren't you?" he asked, knowing his face was as red as his mask.

"Mhhmm," MJ chuckled, handing him the folder and clothes he just discarded. She watched him web it up and slung it over his back. She gripped his hand before he could put his mask on. "Please, call me tomorrow. Don't shut me out, Tiger." she cupped his cheek, leaning close to him, hoping he would just give up and kiss her.

He closed his eyes, inhaling her sweet scent and lingering in her soft touch. He opened his eyes and before he could speak she leaned over and kissed his cheek softly and with hesitation. He pulled his mask over his head then and reached a gloved hand out to brush his finger along those spectacular lips of hers. She was torturing him slowly and he was beginning to think she was enjoying it. "Goodnight, Red."

"Goodnight, Tiger." she whispered softly against his mask, leaning on his broad chest, reaching out to him despite the rift between them.

He slipped out the balcony and leapt from the railing. He freefell into the night, only to snap back up on a web strand and disappeared into the night.

"One day you will stop running from me Peter Parker, Spider-Man, whoever you think you are. I _know_ who you are. And I love you, and I _know_ you love me too. We will be together one day soon. I have to believe that. So do you, Tiger. You'll see..." she told the night air before she shivered, shutting the door.


	19. Les Poisons

**Welcome back to the world of fiction! Ok, so its my own fault for being gone so long, but I have really good excuses I swear. And not to bore you with them, I'll get straight to the story, thanks to those of you who stuck around waiting and perhaps hoping for updates. Welcome to those who have just read this story for the first time and stick around, it will be finished. However long it takes! I am in the final few chapters now! Two more updates coming right up. Enjoy and please review, reviews are 50 of my life, the other 50 is just crap :P**

_**Sweet Sacrifice-Evanescence**_

_It's true, we're all a little insane  
But its so clear  
Now that I'm unchained_

Fear is only in our minds  
Taking over all the time  
Fear is only in our minds  
But it's taking over all the time

You poor sweet innocent thing  
Dry your eyes and testify  
You know you live to break me- don't deny  
Sweet sacrifice

One day I'm gonna forget your name  
One sweet day,  
You're gonna drown in my lost pain  
Yeah

Fear is only in our minds  
Taking over all the time  
Fear is only in our minds  
But it's taking over all the time

You poor sweet innocent thing  
Dry your eyes and testify  
And, oh, you love to hate me don't you, honey?  
I'm your sacrifice

I dream in darkness  
I sleep to die  
erase the silence  
erase my life   
our burning ashes  
blacken the day  
a world of nothingness   
blow me away

Do you wonder why you hate?  
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?

You poor sweet innocent thing  
Dry your eyes and testify  
You know you live to break me - don't deny  
Sweet sacrifice  


Sinking.

Falling into emptiness.

Black. Cold. Dark.

Familiar.

It was home. Home to the evil inside her, that refused to be satiated. Its hunger was never satisfied. No matter how many fell, it could not find the peace for which its host ached. It had no desire for that. All it wanted was more death, more blood, any taste of revenge for however long it lasted and at the hands of anyone. Man, woman, couple... families... it didn't matter. All that mattered was someone suffered, for all the suffering in the world could not seem to equal the horror of her one lifetime.

Even if she couldn't see it, the evil inside would not stop.

However, Peter could end her misery. Peter could bring her the joy she needed to keep the evil at bay. She just knew it. The darkness would end and the debt would be settled as far as she was concerned.

However, the evil knew nothing and no one would end their tirade. The evil would never let go of her.

Right now, she did not mind at all. The power was too strong, too intoxicating tonight. Four had fallen tonight. It started with the happy couple who now lay side by side in death. Then, she moved along to a prostitute who was propositioning an attractive male. Of course, when she finished the prostitute off, one look at the male and his fear of her left her aching to fill his veins with poison.

Therefore, it was done.

Now she dived in and out of the shadows of the night, from street to street, sometimes leaping and swinging from fire escapes and buildings in her travel of the insatiable hunt. She leapt to a fifth story fire escape on an abandoned building that gave a clear view of the Westside's streets near some of the slower avenues. Crimes often happened on the streets known to be abandoned by this time in the early morning.

Dawn was still a few hours away, so the dark of night still held its veil over the city.

Widow Maker was bound to find more prey soon. The city was filled with those who needed to suffer and she was more than obliged to be the bringer of such tidings.

The wait was the hardest part.

With the wait came the memories. She didn't even have to close her eyes anymore to envision the past. She could see it with her every moment; hear the screams of terror with every police siren wailing in the distance and the sound of car horns blaring. They all sounded like the shrill sound of her voice crying over the crack of the baseball bats, the smacking sound of fisted flesh crashing upon flesh, the tearing of clothing as the men forced themselves upon her, burying her under their weight and brutally raping her body and breaking apart her soul.

She shook violently, the rage intensifying with the visions. The venom poured from her body, her eyes staring ahead at the street intensely.

"Is this revenge not as sweet as promised, my dear? Is your cold, dead heart not alive and jumping now? Is it not all you hoped for?" his voice asked upon the wind.

The Widow Maker cackled, while inside Amber wished to cry. The old man had promised her a great gift and he had delivered. She was able to make those suffer. Yet, her own suffering did not end either.

Emmeret the sorcerer whom desired the book Amber had acquired. Emmeret, another man who in the end of all things, only used her for his desires and tricked her for his sick pleasure. In exchange for the power now coursing through her, he wanted the book. He promised Amber great power to deal with men, and that power came from the sorcerer and the book. Little did she know that this rage would take over her life, become a part of her so overpowering that she was no longer Amber but the Widow Maker.

Emmeret had tricked her and she couldn't even use the power he had given her on him.

A car passed down the block slowly, the bright lights shining from the head of the car trapped her gaze. The white light swallowed her up.

"Don't you like your new power? Is it not everything you wished for? The power to obliterate any man, who dare touch you, hurt you, again." Emmeret grinned wickedly at her, shadowed in darkness amidst the bright light.

The light dimmed and they were alone in a dark room, the walls peeled and chipped and the only light came from an overturned lamp flickering on and off from its fall.

Amber stared down, shaking uncontrollably, her hands not seeming her own. For her own hands were soft and small, and pale. These hands... they were bulging with veins, a terrible sight, her nails were long and razor sharp and the bulging veins were green and they throbbed, but did not hurt. In addition, worst of all... the nails dripped liquid. So quiet was the room, you could almost hear the drops of liquid hitting the skin of the dead body on the floor at her feet.

She remembered taking deep breaths, her body reacting to what had just happened. She turned to Emmeret and he was not there. However, her reflection was there. Her scream was so loud at the sight of her reflection, that it shattered the glass. Black eyes, black hair, and veins pulsing under her skin across her face. She was a monster.

This was her first kill, her first attack, not knowing minutes before that this would happen, let alone continue to happen again and again.

A door swung open, crashing against the wall.

Dark eyes smirked at her, peeking out from a bruised and battered book. "What's the matter my dear? You got what you wanted."

"No. What have you done to me? You have turned me into a killer!" she shrieked, frightened.

"That is your desire, is it not? To hurt them, kill them for hurting you..." Emmeret put the book down.

She was confused suddenly. Part of her wanted to scream out, "Yes!" and part of her was adamant that her answer should be no. "What have you done to me?" she repeated.

"I made you the thing to fear..." Emmeret answered, folding his hands calmly over the beaten, faded brown, leather bound book. "With a little help."

"I...I..." she slumped to the floor, broken and defeated.

"I gave you the power you sought in return for the power I also deserved. A black widow is a deadly animal that destroys its mates without care. Their venom is amongst the most deadly poisons there are. You wanted revenge, I gave you the means."

"You made me a monster!"

"You already were, my dear. Now, you have power, uncontrollable power. No fear, soon you will become a killing machine, without thought. Any man who dare hurt another woman will suffer your wrath. Any woman who has a man she does not deserve will receive the same if you so wish it. Embrace it. Amber is no more. There is only the Widow Maker."

This was not her desire when she gave the crusty old sorcerer the most sought after spell book in the past century. She wanted power, she wanted revenge, but not like this. She gritted her teeth and glared under her lashes at him. Her fists balled and the rage became unbearable.

Her hands began to throb, it began all over again, her veins bulging, and a feeling she would grow quite accustomed to enveloped her. Her eyes and hair were now black as pitch; she stood towering over the sorcerer. She raised her hands, nails protruded and ready to strike. "You used me. Just like every other man in my life. You tricked me. I am your toy."

"Oh no, my dear. You may not use your powers on those who gave them to you." Emmeret's hands flipped open the book again, ignoring her attempt to attack. "It was an even trade off. Feel whatever you like, it only adds fuel to the Widow Maker's fire. She will show you. Fear has a way of eating you up inside or breaking free and taking everything down with it. Your fear wanted to break free and your fear chose this fate. Use it well. Fear no man again, go and destroy."

She screamed with defeat, knowing she would never be able to escape what lived inside her now. It was a part of her.

Soon she learned not only to co exist with the power inside her; she let it take over. The thrill, the hunt, the kill... it was so sweet, so intoxicating and insatiable. There could never be enough.

She found that she was lost inside her mind. Lost to the memory of when it all began. The car had passed nearly an hour ago now, triggering the images running wild in her mind. She never saw Emmeret again; the old man had hurt her and given her all she asked in one. Nevertheless, like any other man, her feelings did not matter. Emmeret chose what was best for her. He had said it was the darkness inside her all along that chose the Widow Maker. It was the fear that had decided in the end.

She did not believe it.

Now, she did not care. She had power and revenge was hers for all time. Nothing could be better.

Until she had met Peter. Now it seemed as if it was not just power that gave her satisfaction. She wanted Widow Maker to go away; she wanted Peter to replace the power's position in her life. She had not felt like this since the night she discovered her powers, since the night of the flashback she just relived. For so long now the power dominated her, controlled her and she enjoyed it. However, maybe if she stopped, maybe if Peter was not like the others...

"Please! Stop!" screams interrupted her thoughts.

Her eyes searched the streets, trying to find the source of the shouting.

It did not take long.

A man pulled a screaming woman into the alleyway where the Widow Maker was crouched upon the fire escape. He threw the woman to the concrete with a sickening thud.

She whimpered in pain, groaning and rolling to her side.

The man jumped atop of her in a flash, pinning her arms to each side. "Pretty girls like you are just asking for it..."

The woman sobbed, unable to match his strength.

That's all it took to drive the Widow Maker to snap into action. The previous events of the night still fresh inside left her more than prepared and ready to act right away. A front flip and a few acrobatic stunts later, she stood above their heads, arms crossed.

The man first noticed the shiny black heeled boot, his eyes liking what he saw, his eyes roved upwards, and finding himself facing a very attractive body in a very tight black suit, decorated only with a red hourglass figure. He grinned, until he noticed a mask donned her face, her jet-black hair falling over the rest of her face. "Who the hell are you? Spider-Woman?"

"I am death's dealer. And you are dead. You died the moment you touched her and for every pain you attempted to inflict, may it be doubled in your punishment." she spoke calmly, deadly.

The man laughed, coming to his feet, the would-be victim gasping for air with the small amount of freedom she'd received.

"Go." Widow Maker ordered the female, before the man could stop laughing.

"And just how you gonna punish me, doll? I may enjoy it. Looks like you are into whips, chains, and shit... You're a hot lil number..." he snickered.

The victim got up and ran away in terror, screaming and crying.

"Eh, you're definitely hotter than her. You'll be fun to play with. Bet you like it on top baby, don't ya?" the man circled Widow Maker, checking out her curves.

Widow Maker's anger was growing and growing. It would not be much longer before she could take no more. She grinned wickedly, allowing the man to circle her. She rubbed her hip as the claws on her hand ached for relief. She could feel the venom sliding down her leg, dripping to the floor. "Do I ever..." she replied, whipping around in one fluid motion and pinning the man against the brick wall.

"Oh, baby likes it rough. Where have you been all my life?" the man still found this amusing.

"Killing your kind..." she answered, tilting her head to the side, running her tongue along her teeth.

The man smacked her arms away from his sides and shoved her into the other brick wall, coming upon her quickly. His hand gripped her inside thigh. He then made a move up higher but suddenly her hands gripped his hand. He cried out as the bones in his hand snapped one by one.

She shoved a booted heel into his groin and he doubled over. Her other hand came across his head, smacking her claws into his head. She then sent her knee into his face, crushing his nose. As he fell to his backside, she gripped him up again, sending punch after punch into his bruised and battered face. Blood began to seep out onto her gloved hands as she beat him relentlessly.

He groaned, too hurt to fight back and he fell limp in her arms.

She tossed him into the brick wall and he fell down. She slinked over to his battered body, bones broken, blood pouring from wounds and skin peeling off. He was unlike any other kill she had before. The power inside her was so overwhelming, it had never attacked this efficiently before… Before she left that alleyway, every bone in his body was broken, his face was unrecognizable; it was beaten so excessively. When no more damage could be done, she finally rammed her claws deep into his chest, filling the veins closest to his heart first with the venom that would put his already unconscious, damaged body to his death.

She surveyed her work with a sadistic smile and a tinge of satisfaction. She heaved heavily with the exertion of her efforts. Despite the extremity of the latest kill there was still a longing inside for revenge. She knew it would never be quelled.

However, on the bright side, the night still held time for her to try.

Peter sighed with exhaustion as he opened his mailbox. It was just after ten in the morning and he had only arrived home from his night sweeps of the city at six. Unable to sleep, he sat on his couch with files and papers from his research poured all over the coffee table and a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. He had needed a break and decided to check the mail.

Bad idea.

Inside was a friendly reminder that school started again in a week. His new schedule stared back at him. Oh boy! Was it ever going to be jam-packed too. Dr. Connor's class was set for an early morning when he usually caught up on some semblance of sleep after a night of patrolling the city. He would have to cut back on his web slinging time or sleeping in general in order to make the class on time. He certainly couldn't afford to miss them. His scholarship depended on it. Besides, Dr. Connors was ticked off at him enough already for missing so many classes, missing anymore may find him booted from the class and out on his rear. Man, how was he going to manage! He slammed the mailbox, putting a small dent in it. He groaned. "I bet Captain America doesn't have as many problems...," he muttered, stomping to the elevator.

He waited two minutes before his patience wore out and a handyman walked by to inform him the elevator was out of order. He shook his head, heading for the stairs. Not even superhero strength was enough to keep him from dreading the nine flights of steps he'd have to take up.

By the time he reached his apartment, he felt as if he was going to pass out. He stepped inside being greeted by the blinking red light on his answering machine. Part of him wanted to just walk past it and not even bother but it could be a message from Aunt May. He pressed the playback button, sorting through some junk mail, since Harry had all the bills sent directly to his care, it was all Pete ever got. He'd have to talk to him about that... it was hardly fair that he lived practically for free in such a nice place.

"Pete, its MJ. Where are you? Asleep I hope..."

Peter snorted, rolling his eyes. "I wish."

"Anyway, I just saw on the news... There were a few attacks last night; one of them was confirmed as being poisoned with Black Widow venom. They wouldn't disclose any other information but it seems they all may be connected. Ok... call me back when you get the message. I don't have work until three. Talk to you later, Tiger."

A shrill beep rang then even worse was the sound of one highly-strung, ticked off editor in chief of the Daily Bugle. "PARKER! Where the hell are you? You're fired!"

"I freelance Jonah, you can't fire me," Peter drawled at the machine.

"The whole city is going crazy! People being murdered, their bloodstreams pumped with venom. Spider's venom! I KNOW Spider-Man has something to do with this! Why don't I have pictures? Damn it. You best bring your scrawny butt down here with some pictures fast or...or... you're FIRED!" Jonah screamed, slamming down the phone.

Peter sighed, brokenly. How could he have missed all these attacks last night? He patrolled most of the night and found nothing... He had to find some kind of link so he knew what to look for. What did all the victims have in common? Certainly, the attack on Betty was not random if someone was going around killing people with poisonous venom. Of course, Spider-Man would be blamed! This had to stop. He looked at the files on his table and groaned. There was so much to look through. He needed help. However, he couldn't put MJ in danger. He fell back onto the couch, picking up another stack of paperwork to search through. He should really see about a superhero partner. "At least Batman has Robin..."

Webslinging always made him feel so free and it was definitely cool of course. But tonight there was no thoughts of how high he could leap, how far he could swing on a strand or how many flips he could manage before needing to catch another building with his webbing. Tonight was all about hunting and finding out just who was behind all of the attacks. Which overall was a good plan, right? Sure, if he had any idea where to even start looking! Sorting through all those files seemed to leave him with more questions than answers. They were all so random… The attacks varied from the wealthy, to the middle class, to the common criminal, and convicted felons. The most solid connection he could make was the convicted felons that were victim to the attacks were mostly guilty of the crime of rape or domestic disputes. Ok, so it was possible it was a vigilante killer, but why the randomness then? What else did these people have in common? He gave up trying to make a connection on paper and decided to hit the sky and hope he came across something this way.

MJ had called quite a few times, and by the tone of her last message she was less than pleased he had not returned any of her calls, but he had to keep her out of this as much as he could. If this vigilante, psycho, whoever it was found out Spider-Man was on his trail, he could go after MJ if he found out who he was and she could get hurt. It was the right thing to do, for now at least. All the paperwork was crazy and he could have missed something another set of eyes could pick up but did it have to be MJ's eyes? Those beautiful blue-green orbs that reminded him of the many pictures he saw of the oceans in the Caribbean during a storm... He sighed, and his spider sense went off like a bolt of lightning but he had no time to react. His entire body made full force contact with the brick building instantly. With a loud oomph that did not sound nearly as loud as it hurt, the bricks gave way and cracked leaving a lovely, squashed Spidey indentation on the surface. His hands and feet clutched the wall as he slid down past an apartment window and finally stopped by the grace of God or his spider powers, just below it.

Not a moment later, a head popped out of the window and gazed down at him. "What's the big idea, webspinner?"

"Sorry, I just can't help but leave pieces of me wherever I go..." he groaned, attempting to move. There had to be internal bleeding... Oh, that had to have been his spleen that just popped. Oh yeah and that was definitely a kidney out of place...

"Yeah, well, I'd rather not have pieces of you littering my building, you menace. Go bug someone else!" the man growled.

"Oh, that was cute. Bug...Spidey...get it? Yeah ok, obviously not a big fan of the arachnid/not a bug joke. You should get out more often; everyone else finds it most humorous..."

The head disappeared shortly and returned, carrying a broom. He proceeded to poke at Spidey. "Get outta here, will ya!"

"Alright, alright!" Spidey dodged the broom, scampering down the wall a bit further. "Geez, I'm going!" he put his hands up in defeat. Then with a quick TWHIP, he snagged a cornerstone. He swung off, groaning in protest as his body thanked him for not looking out for brick walls. Spidey sense was not all it was cracked up to be.

Recovering quickly from the pains and aches that would have any other man hospitalized, he continued his search for answers.

"Well Bruce, after three sweeps of the city, I've stopped five muggings, none of which led to my black widow spider issue and I'm still where I started this morning. Well, I did lose hours of study time, managed to piss off MJ yet again, and I ache in places I did not know I could ache… Yup, just a typical day for your average spider guy superhero," Peter complained, comfortably resting on the cornerstone ledge of his favorite building. It was also home to his favorite leaning post and chatting companion, Bruce the gargoyle.

Bruce stared at him silently in all his menacing glory.

Peter sighed, resting his chin on his fist, gazing down at the city below. "Ya think something this crazy would be easy to spot. Then, we really don't know how the venom is being injected, or by who or what… Let us not forget, it is N.Y. Anything is possible."

The city howled with noise below, sirens and alarms ringing, people pounding the pavement coming and going. All the different sounds seemed to bleed into one after many nights of watching over the city from above. It was the sound of N.Y. in constant motion, even when a guy in a scorpion suit or a rhino costume came barreling down the block ready to wreak havoc, N.Y. never stopped going, even when a crazed maniac was drugging people with the most deadly venom in the US.

Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a giant black widow spider attacking people. Pete thought. "Well, Bruce, it's been nice chatting with ya. Maybe I'll go do some legwork if it's not too late. Think I'll go check the hospitals and see if there are any more cases of poisonings." If only he could let MJ help him, two things could be done at once. He mulled over the thought in his brain and went as far as to take out his cell phone. One look at the screen told him he had another message from the stunning subject on his mind. "No. I can't get her involved." He scolded the phone. "I won't do it. I won't put her in danger."

He quickly pocketed his phone before he could argue with himself more. If it was too late (given the rising moon it probably was) to check out the hospitals it would just have to wait until tomorrow. He stood up on the ledge, looked to his preferred take off point and leapt off the building with a short wave to the stone gargoyle he left behind as he plummeted to the noisy streets below.

The sound of cars speeding by on the avenues grew louder as he descended closer to the pavement. He snapped back up just high enough to keep out of the view of the New Yorkers below. Only the ones who actually looked up for him would spot him, if they were quick enough to catch him with their eyes.

It wasn't until he swung all through uptown, downtown and the East Village and back again before he finally got a trigger from his spider sense just off Bleeker St. With a sideways flip and a twist, he headed in the direction his spider sense aimed him.

A growing feeling in the pit of his stomach told him this could be the break he was looking for. He came to a halt atop the edge of an apartment building, casting a glance into an alley below. The break he was looking for would almost be a shock to his system if he had not been witness to the whole Rhino and Scorpion incident previous.

However, this was slightly different. This was no overgrown person in a rhino suit or a crazed man in a giant green scorpion outfit. This was a woman. A very appealing looking woman, in a very tight black suit, donned with a red marking. Even if he wasn't a scientist or heck, even if he didn't have half a brain, it didn't take much to derive a conclusion. This had to be the Black Widow problem attacking a random man below. Besides, he was a fellow spider. Ok, so that had nothing to do with it at all, but still… A Black Widow's marking were no secret and this woman's outfit was plain as day a perfect match to the description.

Peter took a moment to set up his camera, positioning it over the alley. He flipped the automatic shutter and in thirty seconds, the camera would start snapping the action.

Now, it was time for answers. He shot a web line to the building adjacent to the alley and leapt off swinging to the ground, landing in a two-legged, one handed position he had grown accustom to settling into. He knew this drew the woman's attention and quicker than he anticipated; she spun around to face him. "So is this where the spider's gather to play?"

The woman's face was masked cleverly, only her eyes and dangerously curved red lips were visible. Her jet-black hair flowed long and freely. Her hands rested upon her slim hips, her legs spread apart slightly, giving her the stance of a comic book character.

"Well, if it isn't my fellow arachnid. Don't you know it's dangerous to play in a Widow's web? I don't play well with males…," she cooed, leaning down to stroke Spidey's chin. She spun around back to her prey, attempting to catch the man who interrupted her kill off-guard. When she spun back, hoping to clip him with her boot, his hand reached up as if he knew what she planned and shoved her away.

"Well, I don't plan on staying. I just thought I would drop in, say hi; see how the kids were and all. You know, since we're family…" Spidey quipped, eyeing the beaten victim of this insane woman's rage. Currently, he lay on the cold concrete, seeming dazed.

"Oh, very cute Spider-Man. However, this is no concern of yours. Go about your business and perhaps I will forget all about your rude intrusion!" the woman spun back, keeping her balance quite easily. She didn't crouch like Spider-Man, but more or less loomed over the red and blue clad arachnid, as if she were sizing him up.

"Family reunions, always bitter…" Spidey shrugged, front flipping over the woman and landed beside the victim. He lifted the man to his feet. "Are you ok?"

"I…I…think so…" he grounded out, breath reeking of alcohol.

Spidey instantly recognized the face once he was up close. He was a criminal that Spidey himself had sent to jail not more than a few months before. He caught the man in the midst of a mugging and then a beating of a teen girl just a few blocks away from here. He stole a glance at the woman clad in black and she was seething with anger, gasping deep breaths of air. "So it is a vigilante thing, huh?"

"Wrong." she stated simply. "It's a revenge thing. It's punishment."

"I didn't do anything man… I…"

"I remember you. I don't know what you were up to, but if you were up to your old tricks…"

"Nah, man! I'm clean! Now I got two spider freaks chasing after me! She called herself the Widow Maker or something. This is crazy shit!" The man tried to pry himself out of Spidey's grasp.

"He lies. Let me have him Spider-Man. He hurts people. He doesn't deserve to live!" Widow Maker glared at the squirming man in Spider-Man's grasp.

"Now, call me crazy, but for some reason, I believe the lady. Maybe I will let her have you. In the spirit of family reunions and all…." Spidey attempted to goad the man.

"No, please! She's going to kill me! I thought you were a good guy!" the man pleaded, trying to break free of the hero's hold. "Man, I was just looking for a little fun. Half the women out here are asking for it!"

"That's a lie!" Widow Maker's voice became enraged, lunging forward at the victim.

Spidey tossed him quickly against the alley wall webbing him to it in fluid motion. He gripped Widow Maker's arm, a bit surprised at the muscle mass there and held her back. "Now, now cousin Mable…."

Widow Maker growled, ripping free of his grasp and snarled at him. "I tell you once more stay out of this…."

"Unfortunately that's a no can do, my young padawan. Why don't you tell me the story and then, maybe, just maybe we can make a deal." Spidey eyed the woman over, wondering just what kind of spider's powers she possessed. Could she also climb walls and web sling? How did she achieve these powers? So many questions he sought answers to. However, it was obvious she was not quite stable and her strength was impressive. Something told him she was not looking to be the superhero sidekick he longed for earlier in the day.

"There is no bargaining in my brand of revenge. He suffers, he dies… there are no alternatives," Widow Maker informed, crossing her arms to stand off against the brightly colored superhero. "He doesn't deserve to live. None of them do. They hurt us, brutalize us, destroy us, and break us. Death is almost too good for them, if it weren't for the torturing part that is."

"So it wouldn't be a long shot that you are responsible for the Black Widow poisonings going around New York, huh?" Spidey frowned.

"I am the Widow Maker. I deal death to those who think its okay to hurt woman, rape us, beat us, kill us. Men like this die under my hand, yes…," she admitted freely, smiling smugly, as if she were quite proud of her efforts.

"But what about Betty Brant and the other women you've attacked?" Spidey asked in confusion, yet confident he would get all the info he needed from her. This Widow Maker seemed too far-gone to be smart. Deadly, yes. Intuitive? No.

"They simply got what was coming to them. Enough with the questions. Are you going to leave me with my prey or do I have to destroy you too?" Widow Maker snapped, tiring of being kept from the kill.

Spidey was once again impressed. He expected answers easily, but maybe they wouldn't come just that easily. "How'd you do it? How do you poison them?"

She threw back her head in laughter. "Wouldn't you like to know! Perhaps I will give you a first hand look if you do not leave now!" With each word, she grew more enraged.

His spider sense tingled vaguely and he prepped himself for an attack. Her voice was deep and filled with such anger, he wondered if were ever her own, it seemed so warped. He tilted his head, trying to inspect her quickly, hoping to find some sign of how she drugged the victims.

She giggled darkly, hands roving over her hips. She licked her lips and eyed the hero who saved her hosts life once. "Do you like what you see, Spider-Man? Perhaps, you wish to see more. Maybe you are no different than the rest of the men I punish."

"Oh, no. Mating season with Black Widows is closed as far as I'm concerned. I know what you crazy spiders do to your mates. No thank you." Spidey waved his hands, taking a step back to reiterate his words.

She laughed again, amused at his antics. "Too bad… Imagine the fun we could have…." she smiled, her lips curving attractively. "Be on your way then, or I will have my way with you little spider."

"I appreciate the get out of jail free card, Widow. Nevertheless, I am afraid, I'll have to take your playmate with me. But don't worry, I will drop him off with the proper authorities on my way back to my web," Spidey informed her, seeing her stance change immediately.

She put a hand out to stop him from moving. "I am the proper authority now."

"Show me your badge, and I'll think about it," Spidey gripped her wrist, twisting her hand off his chest.

"Oh, you would like that wouldn't you?" she cocked her head, flipping her whole body over the arm he used to twist her wrist, taking his momentum away. She sent a sharp heel into his torso as she landed, obviously catching him off guard.

And not only him, but his spider sense as well. Boy, she was quick! He was taken a few feet back, but he remained standing. A sharp pain sprung in his torso. "Nice heels, what are they like, 7 inches long?"

"Not nearly as long as my grip, fellow wall crawler…" she hissed, sending another roundhouse kick at him, but this time he leapt away clearly, clinging to the brick wall, beside the webbed up man.

"So, gimme the scoop Widow. Why the revenge bit? Obviously, Mr. Black Widow treated you badly and he was dealt the whole, 'kill your mate bit'. But, all men don't deserve this." Spidey scrambled up the wall a bit; prepping his next move while in hopes he could get her to open up.

She growled again enraged at his words and leapt up the wall quickly, sending a flying punch at his jaw, but connected with brick instead. She hopped down, seeming dazed at his quickness now.

Ok, so she can't stick to walls, but she could jump pretty high. He appeared at her side, gripping at her arms again, finding himself unable to take a swing at her. He would have to take her down eventually, but he needed to muster up the will to.

She squirmed, rising a leg up and again sending her heel into his body, but this time she used it to back flip away, landing gracefully on those long heels. She raised her eyebrows, surprised he hadn't raised a hand to her yet. "C'mon Spider-Man. You know you wanna play."

"Obviously you've been hurt, and I'm sorry, but you can't use the powers you've been given to take revenge. Don't you know, with great powers come great responsibility? Think of the good you could do!" Spidey blocked a flurry of kicks and punches, some landing despite his speed.

"Good! I am doing good things!" she argued.

Spidey gripped her fist as she attempted a punch and shoved her hand away, throwing a punch of his own at her jaw.

She stumbled back in shock, which soon turned to furious rage and she leapt at him with a fury of well-trained attacks.

They fought back and forth; exchanging blows and attacks only people with their caliber of power could pull off.

There came a moment where they ended in a standoff and they eyed each other down closely. "What you don't see is I am destroying that which deserves destruction. I was given these powers to kill the ones who deserve to die. And that's what they do!" she shouted, frustrated by his agility.

"Who are you to decide?" Spidey asked, trying to web her down, but she flipped out of the way and caught him with a spin kick.

He fell to the ground, the back of his head connecting with the concrete. Stars swam before his eyes and then came blackness as she descended over him. He watched as her hands lifted and from her very fingers came long razor sharp needles.

"I am death's dealer. For every scream I have partaken, for every beating and rape, for every abuse no woman, no person should suffer from another's hands, I end it. I end it all. All their terror and anarchy. I have been given the powers of a Black Widow who destroys her mates, and I will use them to end their power over me! I am the Widow Maker." she leaned down, her claws dangling just in front of Spidey's view. "I gave you the option of walking away, I gave you the chance to prove you were not like other men, but you failed. Now, you will feel the wrath of my power!"

Disorientated as he was, he managed to web her face quickly and she fell back. He leapt up as quickly as he could, ready to pin her against the wall with webbing. However, her claws easily removed the webbing stuck to her facemask. He watched her stalk around him, and he attempted to web her a few more times. Eventually, she had to falter!

She came at him again and more blows were exchanged. Spider-Man was losing his speed.

The bump he took to his head was slowing his reaction time down. She used what was left of his own strength against him again, leaping up the brick wall and running alongside it before crashing down on Spider-Man, bringing him to the ground. Her claws came into Spidey's distorted view again and she lingered almost hesitantly over him. "Looks like you'll suffer the same fate as any other spider caught in my web." her hand came down, claws ramming into the flesh of his shoulder, pumping the venom into his system.

Spidey struggled violently, but her hold was relentless. He could feel the venom pumping into his body and he never felt so helpless in his life. He wanted to scream but could not find his voice. He wanted to shove her away but his strength seemed to have failed him. All he could do was lay there as the venom found its way into his bloodstream, running poison throughout his system.

Widow Maker ripped her claws away after she heard a squeaking gasp rise from his throat. He would be dead in minutes. "I hate to kill and run, but there are more men out there who must die. Goodbye Spider-Man. Give my regards to the family."

She hopped up onto her feet, and looked to the man who first crawled into her web. She stalked over to him, knowing he was fully helpless stuck to the wall. She smiled satanically at the man, claws throbbing for more destruction. "Black Widow's always get there way." she informed, gently teasing the skin at his neck with the edge of her claws. She turned back to look at Spider-man lying helplessly on the ground. "At least you won't die alone." she snickered, lowering her hand to his webbed chest, then slowly and teasingly jabbed his flesh with each of her claws, one at a time.

The man gasped in pain, crying out as the venom filled him.

Spidey could hear his cries as he fought to stay conscious. He felt even more helpless than he did before. He couldn't let the man be killed. He had to find a way to fight the poison. The world spun and everything that was loud before seemed a dull roar now. He fought with his body to move his limbs but it just wouldn't work. He managed to turn his head and watched as the Widow Maker escaped, launching a hook and rope and climbed up and away from the alley where her destruction was left behind.

Spider-Man gasped for air under his mask; suddenly feeling like someone was choking the air from his lungs. It was an effect of the poison no doubt. He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on something besides the pain. The first and only thing to come to mind was those he loved, MJ and Aunt May. He could not give up!

He felt waves of nausea collide with his body and if he got sick, he could very well be smothered by his own vomit inside the mask. That was the most unappealing thought he ever had. Ever!

His right shoulder was completely numb, blood oozing out the stab wounds from Widow Maker's claws. His arm was twitching in convulsions. Not before long, his entire body started to shake with muscle spasms and convulsions, and the muscles in his arm soon locked up. He had to get up, had to get moving before his entire body locked up and the poison killed him.

It would take all his spider strength to get him to his feet, but he had to do it. He had to find help. Therein lay another problem, where could he go for help? It's not exactly as if he could web sling into the hospital and ask for help. If he could just get home and rest, his spider strength might be strong enough to fight the poison.

While these thoughts ran through his clouded mind, he managed to get to his knees leaning most of his weight on his left arm. His right arm felt like lead and yet was weightless all at the same time. The motion made his head swirl and he grew very lightheaded again. He fell back to the ground, jaw colliding as his face and chest took the blunt of the blow. "MJ…" he wheezed, eyes fluttering closed as he tried to fight the venom. "Help…"

He knew this was the moment where everything would change. He could picture Aunt May and MJ sobbing over his casket, mourning their loss. Aunt May was so frail and now so very alone. He had let Uncle Ben down yet again.

"Why, Peter? Why?" she would question him. No answer would she get.

And MJ. Her eyes would be swollen and puffy from crying, her heart broken all over again. "If only you would have let me help you, Tiger. I love you…"

Then, everything went black.


	20. Rescue Time

_**I Will Rescue You- Plus One **_

_When your days are dark  
And your nights are cold  
When you've just about  
Lost all your faith  
When your will is gone  
And your heart is torn  
'Cause nothing is going your way  
When the world has  
Got you trapped  
And you can't find that open door  
If you're ever in a battle  
And you just can't fight no more I will rescue you  
I will rescue you  
I will shelter you from the rain  
I will dry your tears  
Cast away your fears  
And bring you to brighter days  
Whenever you're lost and confused  
Like a fairy tale come true  
I will rescue you If you ever feel  
That you can't go on  
When your life just  
Becomes too hard  
And the dreams you thought  
Were within your reach  
Suddenly seem so far  
When the world is on your case  
And you don't have  
A place to run  
If the storm keeps getting stronger  
And you cannot see the sun I will rescue you  
I will rescue you  
I will shelter you from the rain  
I will dry your tears  
Cast away your fears  
And bring you to brighter days  
Whenever you're lost and confused  
Like a fairy tale come true  
I will rescue you And it don't matter where you are  
I'll be by your side  
I'll be the rock that you can lean on  
I'll be your guide I will rescue you  
I will rescue you  
I will shelter you from the rain  
I will dry your tears  
Cast away your fears  
And bring you to brighter days  
Whenever you're lost and confused  
Like a fairy tale come true  
I will rescue you _

Then his eyes shot open and he gasped for air, forcing his arm to lift his mask over his nose. Cold air rushed against his warm face and filled his lungs with fresh air. He gasped it in deeply, his mind slightly clearing.

He would not let down the ones he loved. He couldn't leave Aunt May alone and defenseless and he would not allow MJ to cry any more tears over him. With new resolve he got his wobbly legs under him and stood, before stumbling into the brick building of the alley.

His body was still suffering uncontrollable muscle spasms and the urge to faint once again overwhelmed him.

He stumbled alongside the brick wall out onto the sidewalk.

Before he could collapse to the ground again he threw his arm up and shot a web line to a tall building. He leapt up with all that was left of his tattered strength.

It was enough to launch him in the air and he swung into the night. Webslinging would be extremely difficult with one arm but he had to manage. He would let go at the peak of his swings and freefall, allowing his spider sense to gage how close to plummeting to his death he was before shooting another strand of webbing to another building.

Lucky for him, his apartment was not far off. There was not much more his body could take. Forcing himself to go on, he managed to make it all the way to his building, free falling off his last web string onto his balcony. He tumbled into the concrete like a heap of household garbage tossed to the curb for morning pickup.

He let out a sigh of relief, despite the pain still coursing through his body. The heavy landing had only intensified the pain where he hadn't gone numb yet. His body cried out, wanting to move no further. Yet, he had to keep moving. If Harry or Aunt May happened to stop by tomorrow, there would be no explaining his way out of this. Harry probably wouldn't even wait for an explanation, he would kill him. He was having enough trouble trying to think of a way to explain this if the use of his arm never came back.

This all, of course, was if he lived. Given his current status that was looking rather bleak for Peter and his alter ego.

If it wasn't for his spider powers, he would more than likely be dead already. It was a miracle he had made it this far. Though the convulsions seemed to lessen, they were still quite prominent.

He lifted his head as high as he could muster looking for the handle to his balcony doors. He reached up for it, fingers shaking. It seemed a million miles away when in retrospect it was scant inches from his fingertips. All he had to do was stretch and he would be in the clear. He could get inside and into the bed. Even the latter of that seemed a luxury too far from his reach.

MJ sighed, flipping channels on the T.V. using the remote control. She checked the digital clock in the corner of the room, glaring at it with disagreement. It was well after midnight and she still hadn't heard from Peter.

She had given up waiting by her phone well over three hours ago. She got too nervous to sit still and she felt helpless. So she had decided to jump into action and made her way to Aunt May's home in Queens. Once there she pleaded with the elder woman to let her borrow the spare key to Peter's apartment he had given May. Aunt May relented easily, but wondered what MJ was up to. MJ left her wondering with the promise to tell her later as she rushed back to the nearest train station. From the train, she jogged the few blocks to his building and grumbled with annoyance once she arrived in his lobby. A note displaying the elevator was out of order hung on the doors of the elevator. She took a deep breath and had plunged forward up the nine flights of steps.

She arrived at Peter's door. At that point she was heaving, sweating and her feet ached. She pounded on his door, wondering if he was home yet. Giving him only scant seconds to answer, she put the key in the lock and swung the door open.

It took just a moment to decipher there was no one home. From the moment she barged in the apartment rank of stillness and emptiness.

So here she was, hours later waiting and waiting. And still waiting. Now it was past midnight and she was staring at a late night T.V. program paying it no mind as she wondered where Peter was.

She threw down the remote and stood, impatiently deciding to look out the window another time. The late NY view seemed quiet enough, but who knew what was happening all over the city. Another groan of impatience escaped and she threw the curtain back in place. Maybe I should go look for him? But where? Even if I did find him, what could _I_ do?

A loud thump interrupted her thoughts and sounded over the T.V. causing her to practically jump out of her skin. After she got over the initial shock, her mind churned into motion. "Peter!" she cried, making her way to the steps. She took them two at a time and burst into his bedroom nearly tripping over the clothes strewn about the floor. She looked around in disappointment when there was no sign of him.

Her shoulders slumped, deflated. She _knew_ she heard something. A cold chill came over her and she hugged herself despite the heat turned up in the room. Chill out, MJ. No reason to get the willys. she told herself. Yet, the cold did not go away.

She turned about the room and noticed one of the balcony doors was cracked open. No wonder she felt a chill. She walked over to close the door shut and it bounced back at her when she pushed it. Looking down to see what caused the blockage she gasped in terrible fright. "Peter!" she cried out distressfully.

A red, webbed pattern hand lay in the door's path. She swung open the door fully and collapsed to her knees beside Peter's body.

"Peter, what happened?" she touched his still shoulder, unsure whether or not he was conscious, or alive for that matter.

Her heart clenched when no answer came. She could find no physical damage on him, but he was also laying face down. She shook him gently, trying to stir him. "Peter!" Still not receiving a response, she attempted to turn him over, afraid he has been shot or fatally wounded. Somehow, he had made it back here before he passed out. That gave her little comfort.

She managed to turn him onto his back as gently as she could muster on her own. She pulled the mask up from his neck, a sense of deja-vu coming over her as she rested it at the bridge of his nose. She stopped momentarily in remembrance of that wonderful night in the rain. Then she pulled the mask off completely letting it fall to the ground as she cradled his head in her lap.

Once she was sure he was breathing, she looked him over for any wounds. It was dark and hard to tell, and it was cold. However his skin seemed to be burning. Beads of sweat trickled down his brow and his face was frozen in a distraught, painful pose despite his unconscious form. His breath was labored and he seemed to struggle for each breath of air.

Her own breath became labored in fear as well as uncertainty. "Peter, please wake up. I don't know what to do. I don't know what's wrong." she pleaded. She bit her lip, mind going at a million miles a minute. She couldn't take him to the hospital. What if they ran tests on him? What if this is a reaction to something that made him Spider-Man? She didn't have any answers because he never did share with her how he got such incredible powers. She could only hope now his powers could help him survive whatever was happening to him.

She studied his boyish face, running her fingers over his burning cheek. A large bruise welted his skin just beside his lips. "Pete, please wake up. I don't know how to help. Please." she stroked his skin, hoping to invoke some response.

She shivered despite the warmth of Peter's body draped over her lap. She looked up noticing snowflakes beginning to fall from the night sky. She had to get Peter inside and under some layers to battle the fever. She looked around the balcony frantically. She tried to wake him up once more. "Peter, it's Mary Jane. Can you hear me? Please, wake up. We have to get you inside."

Still no reply.

"Ok, Mr. Parker. I see you are going to make things difficult as usual. C'mon, here we go," she lifted him off her lap and got to her feet.

She bit her lip observing him, contemplating how she could move him. She walked around his body to the top of his head, kneeled down and lifted under his arms. She grunted with the effort, taking a few steps back dragging him on his back. She got a few feet before stopping to catch herself from falling.

She took another deep breath and started to pull him again, his limp arms dragged on the ground, sticking to the floor like magnets. His shoulders were scant inches from the ground held in her tiny grasp as they entered the bedroom. "A little help here, Pete," she complained, pulling with all her might.

A groan of distinct pain rumbled in response.

She lost her grip, his head and shoulders hitting the hard-wood floor. "Oh God. Peter?" she gasped. She looked into his face, hoping she would see his eyes slide open.

He let out another groan that rumbled into a yelp of pain as she dropped him.

"Oh, geez, I'm sorry." She bit her lip in anger with her clumsiness.

His eyes were still closed and sweat dripped down his face. He seemed in a battle with himself to regain consciousness. He squinted his eyes, seeming in terrible pain.

"Peter," MJ called his name, placing a hand on his chest. She rubbed his chest, trying to wake him. She looked at him closely, hoping his baby blues would pop open any minute. She reached up to brush her hair from her face when she noticed her hand was red. Her eyes widened in shock as she noticed her hand was covered in blood. "Oh, Peter…" she whimpered, finally noticing his shoulder was stained a darker red than his suit. It was stained red in blood.

He turned his head back and forth, fighting the pain, his face contorting. He groaned and whimpered.

"Peter, help me, please…" MJ begged, afraid to lift him from his shoulders again. "We have to get you into the bed." she looked around the room, wondering how she would do just that. She stood up to close the balcony doors, shutting off the cold air then returned to his side. "Peter, help me, please, help me!" she shook him lightly.

"Mary… Jane…" he muttered in obvious pain, turning his head to her voice.

"Open your eyes, tiger. I need you to help me…" she kept talking, praying she was finally getting through.

"Wh- what's wrong? MJ…" his voice changed from pain to panic and he thrashed a bit, confused as to why his senses were so out of his control.

"Easy, tiger," she placed a hand on his chest, trying to stop his thrashing. "I'm ok. You're hurt, though. I don't know what's wrong." His body was shaking uncontrollably and he let out a loud cry.

"Poi-poi-poison…" he spit out, his lips numb, his entire body felt unlike his own. The pain was excruciating aside from what was not numb. He forced his eyes open and saw a blurred vision of his angel aside him. Her red hair flowed over her shoulders and he could barely make out her face, but he knew it was her. "She poisoned me."

"Who? What kind of poison? We have to get you to the hospital!" MJ tried to remain calm but seeing him in so much anguish was not making it the easiest task. She went to rise and call for help.

Peter managed to grab her wrist with his good arm. "No, no hos…hospital."

"But you could die!" MJ argued, looking at the wound from the corner of her eye. She bit her lip, worried she would be sick. What kind of poison… Her eyes lit up with realization and she chided herself for not realizing sooner. "Black Widow's venom…."

Peter shook his head, agreeing with her. He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting the pain.

"Ok, ok… if we can't take you to the hospital, I will just have to help you myself. First thing we need to do is get you in bed and under layers to fight the fever. Then I am going to go over our research and find out what I can do to help you. Don't worry Pete, I am going to take care of you." she smiled, reaching inside for the strength she would need to get them through this. "It's about time I saved your life."

Peter was fighting hard to remain conscious but the effort was too much, even for him.

"Oh no you don't," MJ shook him awake. "You got to get to your feet and in the bed. I cannot lift you up." she pulled at his other shoulder, into a haphazard sitting position. "On your feet. Just for a moment. You can do it." she encouraged, pulling him by his wrists.

Peter used whatever was left inside him to rise to his feet. He wavered and almost toppled over but MJ caught him.

"Ok, ok… I got you." she stumbled backwards. "I think…" MJ wrapped him in her arms and pushed him into the bed. She took a deep breath and pulled the blankets onto him. "Hope you got more than one of these suits, tiger." she examined his wound, then ripped the costume open to see the extent of the damage.

Blood was slowly oozing out of five holes. They were about the size of knife stab wounds. MJ winced hoping she could handle this.

"MJ… gonna be sick…." he gasped, his face as pale as the white sheets covering him.

"Shh…it'll be ok…" she stroked his wet forehead. She would have to do what she could to counteract the poison first, then treat his physical wounds later. "I'll be right back. I will get you something." she jogged off to the bathroom and grabbed the small garbage pail in there. She took time to grab whatever first aid he had in a small kit and a cool rag to place on his forehead. She returned quickly, putting the pail beside him. "It's probably best you get it out of your system." she placed the rag on his forehead.

He sat up instantly, heaving up fluids from his stomach.

MJ felt so helpless rubbing his back and hoping this was a good sign.

Once he was finished, he collapsed back onto the bed, gasping for air.

"Will you be all right for a moment? I want to grab our research."

Peter responded in grunts and groans of pain, his body beginning to spasm again. He managed to look in her direction acknowledging her words.

"I will be right back, ok. Don't you go anywhere…" she whispered the words that held a double meaning as she stroked his cheek.

She took the stairs quickly, worried to leave him alone. She searched the living room for their research becoming anxious when she could find no sign of it. She tossed school textbooks and notepads and loose leaf paper everywhere.

It wasn't until there was a floor littered in papers that she realized the folder must have been hidden in one of his textbooks. MJ got to her hands and knees scouring the floor looking for all the articles they found on black widows. She tossed aside school notes that got mixed in with the research, paying it no mind for if she had she might've noticed the doodles of 'I heart MJ' written in the corner of jotted notes.

She was back up the stairs and at his side so quickly, it might have made The Flash jealous. She sat beside him on the bed, examining him for any change. "You still with me, tiger?" 

He was still conscious and moving around uncontrollably. He looked over at MJ acknowledging her question, but unable to respond at first. "Present…." he muttered, teeth chattering as his body continued to shake.. Despite it all, he was starting to feel slightly less uncomfortable.

"Good." she gave a shaky smile, concerned for his life. "Now let's see if we can find a cure to what ails you. Doctor Watson is on the clock."

She opened the folder and organized the notes a moment before she started to read the information on the page.. "The black widow spider is notorious for its neurotoxic venom. It is a large widow spider found throughout the world and commonly associated with urban habitats or agricultural areas. Adult black widow spiders are shiny black with a reddish hourglass shape marking on the bottom of its abdomen. Female black widow spiders are about 1.5 inches with legs spread. Without its legs, they are about 0.5 inches. Male black widow spiders are half the size of the female, but with longer legs." she paused, getting impatient. "Blah, blah, this isn't helping…."

"Keep going…" Peter whispered.

"Black widow spiders live in temperate and tropical zones. They typically prey on a variety of insects, but occasionally they do feed upon wood lice, diplopods, chilopods and other arachnids."

Peter huffed indignantly.

MJ continued. "When the prey is entangled by the web, a black widow quickly come out of its retreat, wraps the prey securely in its strong web, then punctures and poisons its prey. How did she poison you?"

"Hands…fingertips like needles…" Peter answered in pauses, trying to take control of his system. "She carries the venom inside her. I don't know why it doesn't kill her. We need to-"

"I don't care why she doesn't get poisoned right now, Pete. We need to help you. That is more important." MJ scanned the page until her eyes rested on a paragraph that made her very uneasy. "Black widow venom is fifteen time more poisonous than a rattlesnake. It is the most dangerous and poisonous spider in the US. One bite of a female black widow spider can kill a human being." Tears immediately sprung from her eyes and she looked at Peter with more fear than she had ever felt in her whole life. She was more terrified of his death than the Green Goblin and falling from bridges could ever scare her. "Peter, please let me take you to the hospital. I cannot let you die."

"MJ, I can't. You know that. Don't worry so much. I'm not a regular human anymore. I can beat this with my spider strength. I'll be fine…." he trailed off, wishing he believed what he said more than he actually did.

She wanted to believe him too. She wanted to believe he would beat this just like everything else he had to face. But spider strength or not, he did not look well at all. "Peter-"

"Plus, she hit me with a lot more toxin than any normal person could handle. Anyone else would be dead by now. I'm still here," he cut her off, hating the look of terror in her eyes. "Keep reading."

She sighed, still not content but she listened to him anyway. "Though its venom is toxic, deaths from black widow bites are rare, only sixty-three having been reported in the United States between 1950 and 1959." she raised her brows. "Well, that's encouraging… I think." she paused. "Black widow spiders are notorious for its neurotoxic venom. Their venom contains the deadly neurotoxin, LTX. What's LTX?" she questioned, skimming the paragraph for an answer.

"Alpha-latrotoxin," he answered quickly.

She bit back a big grin and studied his clouded eyes. "You big nerd. So what does this LTX do to you?"

"I remember a little about it from my biology class last semester. LTX stimulates massive exocytosis of synaptic vesicles, leading to catastrophic effects on cardiovascular, neuromuscular and neurosecretory systems, due to the spider bite or in this case the poison running through her fingertips and into the sharp claws that pierced my skin." he flinched, feeling nauseated again. At least his mind was clearing up. One look at MJ told him she was going to remind him of that fact too.

"Ok… Wanna run that by me in lamens terms?" she sighed, wondering how his brain still functioned on the level of 'brilliant scientist.'

"Severe muscle contractions and spasms, which explains why I can't hold still," Peter explained. "It should only be inhabiting the area affected, my shoulder. But with the amount of toxins she pumped into me, it must be effecting my whole body. Like I said, any normal man would be dead from the moment of injection. She killed someone right in front of me, and I couldn't stop her. At first it was just my shoulder I couldn't control… But then I started losing control of my whole body. I passed out. I don't know how I even made it here…" he quieted down, seeing the worry deepen as he told her what he could remember happening.

"Well, I'm no doctor or scientist but there must be more to this than just what LTX affects…" she looked down at the papers and continued reading. "A bite can cause yellow fever, vomiting and other bad sickness. The effect of the black widow spider bite can range from slight skin irritations to death. The spider injects a toxin that, drop for drop is more toxic than rattlesnake venom. Since the toxicity of the bite is in proportion to body weight, small children are more vulnerable to a bite of the same dosage than an adult. Unless your entire body is pumped full of it… Then what?" she flipped the page to the final page with the last of the venom information. "Its venom contains neurotoxins that will affect an individual's nervous system. Some symptoms include muscular cramps, tremors, and irregular breathing that may result in convulsions and death with some victims. An anti-venom specific to black widows is available through most physicians. Therefore when dealing with spider bites take the spider with you to a physician." she slammed the paper on the bed. "See! Physician means doctor! Anti-venom means you need it."

"Not necessarily, MJ…" he gasped as pain assaulted his stomach and he balled up into the fetal position. He squeezed his eyes shut as his muscles contracted again.

"Peter!" she shouted.

"I'm O.K…" he breathed deeply, air depleting from his lungs. "It'll pass. My spider strength is fighting it off." Waves of nausea hit him again and he became restless and anxious.

MJ groaned, annoyed that she found no answers to help him. She sifted through the papers and found more information in a questionnaire with doctors and victims of bites. Doctors and many victims say the pain usually disappears rapidly and local muscular cramps are felt around every fifteen minutes to several hours after the bite, spreading and becoming more severe as time passes.

She looked up at Peter who just went from being calm and seemingly doing better back to the state she found him in out on the balcony. The contractions and spasms and heavy breathing seemed to worsen over the last few minutes. She looked back down at the research.

The venom grows weak, tremors develop, and the patient is restless. During this period, a feeble pulse, cold skin, labored breathing and speech, light stupor, and delirium may be noted. Convulsions and death may result with some victims, especially if no treatment is received. Five percent of all victims who go without anti-venom treatment are fatal.

MJ looked up and noted he had slipped back into unconsciousness and was wrestling with himself and his breathing grew loud and labored. She felt his abdomen and it was hard and rigid as the symptoms subscribed. She argued with herself to call 911. If they analyzed Peter's blood they could find something out about him being Spider-Man. They would lock him up and treat him like a damn lab rat. She couldn't let that happen, but she couldn't just sit here and watch him die. She had to do something! "Your spider strength may not be enough to help you this time, Peter. You may think its helping you fight the venom off but the venom is only weakening before it gets worse…"

She got up and ran about the apartment gathering the supplies she read about in the section of the questionnaire on early treatment of bites. She came back and he seemed to have calmed a bit. He must be in between convulsions and contractions, she thought. Now was the only time she would have to treat the wound effectively. She removed the top half of his torn costume. She had soaked a washcloth in soapy warm water and cleaned the puncture wounds as best she could. Then she put some antiseptic on from the first aid kit and put an ice pack over the wounds as the research informed her.

She studied his features looking for some sign of what to do next. He seemed in great pain and his face was etched in torment. It was quiet for some time before he began to scream out and MJ knew he was in the stages of delirium and certain death. She cried for a moment unsure what to do as Peter screamed out many things, calling for his Uncle Ben, to Harry and Norman, Aunt May and even her name. It was then that she lost all her nerve and sobbed heavily sure she was going to lose him. It was also in that one moment that she realized she would never let that happen. A moment of great clarity came over her like a miracle and she suddenly knew who could help.


	21. Delirium

_**Bad Dreams-Keane**_

_Why do I have to fly_

_Over every town up and down the line?_

_I'll die in the clouds above_

_And you that I defend, I do not love_

_I wake up, it's a bad dream_

_No one on my side_

_I was fighting_

_But I just feel too tired_

_To be fighting_

_Guess I'm not the fighting kind_

_Where will I meet my fate?_

_Baby I'm a man, I was born to hate_

_And when will I meet my end?_

_In a better time you could be my friend_

_I wake up, it's a bad dream_

_No one on my side_

_I was fighting_

_But I just feel too tired_

_To be fighting_

_Guess I'm not the fighting kind_

_Wouldn't mind it_

_If you were by my side_

_But you're long gone_

_Yeah you're long gone now_

_Where do we go?_

_I don't even know_

_My strange old face_

_And I'm thinking about those days_

_And I'm thinking about those days_

_I wake up, it's a bad dream_

_No one on my side_

_I was fighting_

_But I just feel too tired_

_To be fighting_

_Guess I'm not the fighting kind_

_Wouldn't mind it_

_If you were by my side_

_But you're long gone_

_Yeah you're long gone now_

His eyes were closed tightly as he saw flashes of visions play out before him. All to quickly they flashed before him like a brightly colored kaleidoscope turning too fast. Then the world turned black as pitch. He started to thrash about losing the battle with reality. It felt like he was trapped within a wind tunnel, being sucked deeper and deeper into the turbine blades churning under him. The further he fell, the darker the world got until he could see nothing. His terror doubled due to the blindness that the lack of light caused on top of the chopping sound of the fan's movements growing closer and closer…

He reached for the walls, blindingly hoping his ability to stick to them would overpower the suction the fan created and stop his plummeting death. His fingertips touched nothing but air. Just when he thought this couldn't get any worse, an even more terrifying sound than that of the whooshing turbine fan overpowered all else.

An all too familiar cackle bounced off the walls ringing throughout the darkness.

Peter tumbled pitching head over heels reaching for the walls salvation, and screamed over the laughing as he brought his hands in to cover his ears. The laughing did not cease as if it was born inside his mind and echoed there, untouched. He thought briefly about how being chopped into minced meat would be a better fate than facing that voice again.

Unfortunately and as expected, the choice was not his and his sudden descent came to an even more abrupt halt. His body collided with what he assumed to be a wooden floor. Wood boards splintered and shattered like frail bones upon impact. A small hole was formed where he now lay and he was momentarily still, having expected the impact to take a lot more out of him than it did. He curled up in a fetal position, pain assaulting him nonetheless.

Slowly he gathered himself together, getting to his feet. The fractured floor was only a few feet up from the hole his fall created. He hesitated in fear. He could imagine the Goblin standing at the top, cackling in all his glory. His spider sense was dormant, telling him he was just being a coward and had an overactive imagination.

He climbed up into the dark room, immediately wondering where he was, not to mention what the hell was going on. How did he get here? There wasn't much he could make out. If not for the faded, dim light seeming to come from the outside of wherever he was, the room was black as pitch. However, the light from outside was not brilliant enough to be daylight. Perhaps it came from a street lamp or factory lighting.

He had no more time to ponder any of these thoughts, his spider sense went off like a school bell in his head. He could feel an intense heat at his back. The room was now filled with glowing light and Peter knew without question what was setting off his spider sense. He fell to the floor as if a bomb had come hurtling at him, but worse… The Goblin perched upon his glider zoomed overhead, tearing across the room as the jets of his glider left behind streams of flames.

Peter gazed up, watching the glider zip around giving off a glow in the dark from the jet boosters. The faint light told Peter the room was bigger than he anticipated. From what he could see the room looked familiar, but he was on his feet and leaping before he had time to look any further.

His heart pounded heavily, almost drowning out the Goblin's insane giggles. He turned, seeing his metallic green form hovering far across the room. The light from the cracks in the building and dirty windows bathed him in an eerie glow, making him appear to look like a spirit or entity. With that thought it dawned on him that that was exactly what Gobby should be! Dead!

"That's right, Parker!" his insane laughing finally ceased so he may speak. "You killed me."

He shook his head arguably, as if the Goblin could see in the shadows. He backed into a wall, feeling his way around in the dark.

"Don't hide. There's nowhere to hide!" Goblin screeched, suddenly appearing at his side, his yellow eyes glowing demonically.

Peter gasped, not sure why his spider sense failed him. Then he was flying across the room after receiving a punch to the jaw. He slid across the floor on his back, coming to a painful stop. He shook his head clear and leapt to his feet. "You can't be real, Goblin!" he muttered painfully.

More laughter. "Anything can happen here, Parker!"

Now he was behind him.

"Or maybe I am a ghost!"

Peter turned sharply, throwing a fist into the Goblin's face. He was gone before it landed. "Where the hell is here, exactly?"

"Or maybe I am alive. Inside you!" Gobby's laughter grew louder , echoing off the walls.

"No, Goblin!" he growled, flickers of anger burning inside him.

"Yesss!" he hissed. "Feel the anger, embrace the hate inside you!"

"No!" Peter dispelled it quickly, searching the room for the voice of insanity. He did not look hard.

Gobby was coming at him full force on his glider, eyes aglow.

This time he leapt at him, landing atop the glider. He landed a few punches into the mask before he realized they weren't making a connection.

"Oh Peter. Poor boy," Gobby cooed, disappearing from the air, and reappearing on his feet, standing in the fluorescent orange light.

Peter tumbled from the air to the ground. He was so confused. He was rooted to his spot, back to the floor. How did he keep disappearing?

"You seem a bit lost, my boy. Don't worry, just keep your eyes on me if you can," he was gone again.

Peter spun in a circle, wondering when this madness would end. He was sorry he asked.

Goblin faces appeared all around him, circling him and laughing wildly at him. "Wherever you go, whatever you do, whenever you look over your shoulder, we'll be there! You will never be rid of us!" they chanted in unison, spinning faster.

Peter shook his head, wondering at what point it was that he had gone completely insane. He covered his ears, flinching at the voice. Every way he turned, there was the Goblin, taunting him, daring him with his evil yellow eyes. They were growing closer and closing in on him like a caged animal. When he could take no more, he shot a web strand to the far up ceiling.

Peter wound his way around the ceiling, weaving his way out and around the pipes and beams attempting to escape the Goblin faces. He turned around and sighed in relief, finding they were gone. He looked down trying to determine where he was. Given the décor, it seemed to be an abandoned building of some sort. A chill rocked him, being reminded of the abandoned warehouse where he had chased Uncle Ben's killer to. The wall's seemed to grow all too familiar now, and he felt his throat grow dry. It couldn't be… If only there was more light.

He looked back up where he was hanging from and let go of the ceiling in complete surprise. The very wits were scared out of him as he found himself plunging for the concrete ground, finding the Goblin residing in the spot he just occupied a moment ago. He hit the floor in a heap, head bouncing off the concrete, the wind knocked out of him for a second time and stars swarmed around him.

He lay still, stunned and dazed, unable to catch his breath. His body vibrated as the Goblin's laughter got louder and louder, the room beginning to shake. He wasn't sure how much more his aching head could take. His whole body continued to shake as if he was clinging to a runaway cement drill.

Thankfully, the insane laughter finally silenced and Peter breathed a short sigh of relief. The room was still shaking as if the Hulk had wrapped his arm's around it and shook it like a magic 8-ball. He staggered to his feet, eyes searching the room wildly. The failure of his spider sense had him worried an attack was ever present.

And his paranoia proved positive. A loud snort and a stomp was all the warning he needed to evacuate his current position.

He rolled away, feeling the wind blow by him as the huge force he'd come to know as the Rhino thundered by, crashing into the wall, cement crumbling on impact.

Peter stood up, wobbling and nearly falling over again. He hunched over, leaning his arms against his legs to keep from collapsing. He looked over at Rhino, not sure he had anything left to take down the big beast. "Just what is your problem, anyway? Are you still angry they replaced you with the penguins in animal crackers?"

Rhino turned around, heavy breaths making his massive chest rise and fall in time with the building's crumbling under his heavy footfall. "You think your funny, dontcha? I'm gonna squish you to the floor little bug man!"

Peter used what was left of his strength to zipline up to the ceiling and avoided Rhino's second stampede and collision into another wall.

As the brick's crumbled, light poured in from the outside world, illuminating the room more. Rhino continued to stampede about trashing the room in his frustration, unable to reach Spider-Man high above. Rhino collided into another wall, causing the lights to flicker, the electricity failing.

The room, which grew dark also grew deadly silent. Suddenly, the lights came on full stream and Peter came down from his hiding spot, stunned as his eyes took in his surroundings. The once dark, unnamable warehouse became the place of his most horrified memories. A place he had hoped never to see again, the sight of the worst night he would ever experience in his entire life. It was the warehouse he had chased Uncle Ben's killer to.

His shoulders sunk and tears erupted instantaneously. He collapsed to the floor, ashamed, unnerved.

"Peter,"

He was stilled, back shooting ramrod straight. He felt fear encircle him.

"Peter, turn around."

Peter squeezed his eyes shut, pulling his knees in and hugging them close like a little boy who was afraid the boogeyman was creeping up behind him. Only, it was worse. He knew that voice. The source of all his sorrow, all his regret. The reason for his ultimate, unwavering mental defeat, which would always remain a more drastic impact than any physical damage any villain or any one person could bestow upon him. Nothing anyone could do to him could reduce him to the simpering, fearful, shamed mess of a human being he became at the sound of that voice.

Harry finding out he was the murderer of his father did not scare him nearly as much as facing this. The only thing nearly as frightening was the forever emblazed image of MJ falling off the Brooklyn Bridge over and over again as he watched helplessly. Still, even that thought did not strike the wrath of fear he now felt. He wondered if it be less painful to be put to death at this moment than it would be to turn around. He half hoped Goblin and Rhino would come back to play instead.

"Peter, you can't ignore me."

Peter shook his head in disagreement, squeezing his eyes shut. "No, no…"

"Don't do this to me, son…"

"Haven't I done enough?" he replied, finally acknowledging the voice. He couldn't help himself.

"You sure have, Peter,"

Peter felt a bitterness inside at the agreeing tone the voice took. He felt like he was 6 years old again, getting scolded for stealing cookies out of the jar before dinner. "I'm sorry…"

"Oh, Peter.. Please look at me. It's been so long…"

Peter was fighting a battle within, desperately trying not to do as the voice commanded. He sunk his head into his lap, hiding the bright light shining from behind.

"I know what you have done Peter,"

Peter's tears dampened his mask and despite the pain his heaving caused, his cries turned to sobs. "I'm so sorry Uncle Ben."

"Peter, you have to stop hiding. You have to stop this all,"

The light was growing brighter and Peter could feel warmth getting closer.

"I can't stop. I have to make it up to you. I have to show you how sorry I am for letting you die,"

"Peter, no…"

Peter squeezed his eyes shut as the light was getting too intense to keep them open. "I will show you how sorry I am."

"Sorry? Is that all you can say? You're breaking my heart.."

Peter's head perked up as the voice turned softer, and feminine. "MJ?"

"God, Peter. I never expected this from you. Don't you think I deserve more than a 'sorry'?"

Peter turned around, squinting in the blinding light. He could make out MJ's haloed shapely figure and her bright red hair despite the overpowering light. "You deserve everything I can't give you."

MJ huffed. "All I want is your love."

"And all I want is for you to be safe. I'm so sorry, MJ. I can't give you what you need. I owe Uncle Ben. I can't be with you," Peter shook his head, wishing he would just die already to end all the misery he seemed to be causing everyone he loved.

"Just come back to me, Peter. Don't leave," MJ begged.

The light grew more intense and Peter shielded his eyes, looking away.

Earlier:

MJ left him in search of help, finding the portable phone downstairs and dialing a number quickly.

"Nurses station," an elderly woman's voice answered.

"Yes, I need to speak with Gina Lark immediately please," MJ rushed back up the stairs, afraid to leave Peter unattended.

"She is with a patient at the moment," the woman rattled off.

"Can you please tell her Mary Jane is on the phone; it's important," MJ pleaded, watching Peter thrash about just outside his doorway.

He screamed out, pain lacing his cry.

"If this is an emergency ma'am, you should hang up and dial 911," the woman suddenly sounded interested.

MJ's heart leapt in panic. "No! No, I just need to speak to Gina, please. That was my TV…" she explained lamely, stepping out into the hallway to drown out the screams.

"Hold, please." she sighed not hiding her annoyance.

MJ paced the hallway feeling as if an eternity had passed by three times.

"Mary Jane?" finally, Gina's voice said into the phone. "What's wrong? This better be important. I was with a patient."

"Gina, it's MJ." she declared, not paying mind to the fact that Gina knew it was her already. "I need your help and it's a big favor."

"MJ, what's wrong? You sound scared."

"Gina, I need you to do something for me and I realize it's going to be a lot to ask and you could get in a lot of trouble, but it means the world to me. Peter's in trouble. He needs medicine but I can't bring him to the hospital." MJ peered into the room to see if he was in the same state. His tossing had lessened and he was still, causing her to hold her breath until she saw the rise and fall of his chest.

"MJ, just call 911. What's happened? Why can't you bring him?"

"I told you, I can't answer your questions. It's something I can't tell you, but please, understand. Gina, he could die. Please say you'll help me." MJ begged, her voice cracking with emotion as she allowed the realm of possibility Peter's condition was presenting sink in.

"Mary Jane… this is serious isn't it?"

"Deadly serious." she answered sharply.

"What can I do?" Gina exhaled into the phone, showing her disagreement. Despite her feelings, she would help her friend.

"I need you to bring some things to his apartment. Remember, no one can know." MJ's heart sped up, hoping Gina's help would cure Peter.

"Trust me, no one will. I could lose my job for this…"

"Peter could die…" MJ replied, showing how serious the consequences were for her too. "Gina, we need some IV's of calcium chloride and black widow anti-venom…"

"He's been poisoned?" she cut in.

"Yes," MJ answered quickly.

"Was he attacked like the other people?"

"There's more?" MJ could not believe it.

"Three more brought in tonight. We just got a case of the anti-venom delivered here a few hours ago."

"So people are being treated?" MJ sighed, finding some relief with the news.

"No. They're all been brought in dead. We haven't used the anti-venom yet. MJ, you really should bring him in before it's too late."

"Gina, I can't. Just, please hurry…" MJ squeezed shut her eyes, trying to force away the vision of Peter's body being zipped up in a body bag while she and Aunt May wept uncontrollably.

"On my way then." she answered, hanging up quickly.

MJ turned off the phone, tossing it aimlessly to the floor and rushed back into Peter's room and by his side. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. "Hang on tiger, help is on the way."

When the doorbell rang later, MJ took the stairs so quickly that she nearly fell. She opened the door fast, greeted by the person who could save Peter's life. MJ allowed herself a small sigh of relief before she reached out to help Gina with the supplies she brought.

"I got stopped three times on my way out the door with this stuff. It's a miracle I made it out the door," Gina let out her own small sigh of relief as she hurried in the door, half afraid she'd been followed.

"I'm so grateful, thank you for bringing the anti-venom," MJ shut the door and led the way up the stairs.

"It wasn't even the anti-venom that was hard to sneak out. It was the painkillers- the morphine and the calcium gluconate, and the syringes that was hard to pocket. It's a good thing I used to come from the wrong side of the tracks," Gina huffed, following MJ up the stairs.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this Gina, but I am glad you trust me enough to believe me when I tell you that I couldn't bring Peter to the hospital. I wish I could explain more," MJ turned to smile gratefully at her roommate as they reached the top of the steps.

Gina returned the smile, knowing MJ would never keep something from her unless it was extremely private. "No explanation necessary. Just remember this when I'm short on rent."

MJ allowed a small hint of a smile to grace her worried features. "Peter's this way." she pointed to his door and took the steps to the door in big bounds.

She slid the door open and her eyes fell immediately to the object of her ultimate desires. He was currently calm but his state seemed no better than when she had first called Gina.

Gina walked in and set the equipment down and discarded her coat. Her hand went around to her neck and she set up her stethoscope not wasting anytime to examine him. She kneeled down beside him and checked his vitals.

MJ watched nervously as Gina held Peter's arm in her grasp as her fingertips felt the pulse at his wrist. She bit her lip, hoping she would not notice the somewhat significant marks on his skin from his web shooters. Thankfully, she seemed too distracted by his condition to take notice.

Gina looked up at her, worry evident on her face. "His pulse is weaker than I like and he seems to be struggling with breathing. I'd like to get some oxygen on him, but I didn't sneak a tank of O2 under my coat." she sighed, shaking her head. "He really belongs in a hospital, MJ."

MJ worried her bottom lip, unable to think of a good excuse for not bringing him, aside from the truth. Part of her contemplated telling Gina the truth, but she couldn't compromise Peter's secret or his trust.

"I know, I know," Gina could see the contemplation in her friend's eyes. She shook her head with a half grin as she removed the sheet from Peter's upper chest. She placed the stethoscope on his warm skin, listening for his heart again. She took a moment to appreciate how well toned his body seemed. Hadn't MJ always described Peter as a nerdy bookworm? Since when did they come in the well chiseled body form too?

"His condition is pretty far along based off the symptoms they described," MJ offered, feeling helpless as Gina prepared some small bottles and a syringe.

"How long has it been since his last muscle spasm attack?" Gina asked, setting down the needle.

"At least since I hung up with you," MJ answered unsure of the time frame, watching as Gina was removing the blanket from Peter to expose his abdomen. "What are you doing?" she panicked, seeing part of Peter's costume exposed to the light.

"Easy, MJ. I need to examine him. One of the affects of the venom is a rigid abdomen," Gina chuckled at her overprotective nature. Gina placed her hand on his stomach, once again taking appreciation of his well formed body. His abs were rock hard but not from their well defined form but because of the venom coursing through his body. Gina could not help but notice the blue and red trim around his lower waist. The material seemed trimmed with black in a webbed pattern. Gina looked up at MJ in surprise. "No wonder you were afraid to bring him to a hospital!"

MJ panicked, trying to think of an explanation as she knew what Gina saw. Her mouth formed an 'o' unable to speak.

Gina chuckled, covering Peter back up to his chest. "Don't worry MJ, I won't tell anyone about Peter's Spider-Man jammys." she felt his forehead, finding his temperature was slightly high.

MJ stood there a moment, dazed.

"I'm going to give him an injection of calcium gluconate to control the spasms and cramping. If that doesn't work we'll try a Methocarbomal injection, like Robaxin. Most patients respond to the calcium all right but I brought back up," Gina injected the needle into his arm carefully.

"What about the anti-venom?" MJ watched with concern, afraid Peter might have a jerk reaction to the pinch of the needle.

"Well, it is usually only used in severe cases, and I think this may qualify as one of those times, but I'd like to see how his body reacts to this first. The anti-venom is equine based. So there is a risk of serious allergic reaction that could be just as deadly as the actual poisoning was. In past years, injections of the calcium gluconate have used in replacement of the anti-venom due to the serum sickness. However, the calcium gluconate doesn't help with pain relief at all. Hence, the morpine," Gina lifted the small vial containing said drug.

MJ ingested the information with as much understanding as her mind would allow at the moment. She sat down on the edge of the bed, brushing back his hair. "Will he be all right, Gina?"

Gina hated to form an opinion this soon but she had a feeling she had gotten here in time. His muscle tenseness seemed to be easing already. She wondered if that had to do more with MJ's affectionate touch than it did the injection of medication. She smiled, hoping to quell her friend's fear seeing just how much she cared for the man. "I think we made it through the worst. Let's see how he responds to what I gave him before we go any further."

MJ nodded, knowing Gina would know best. "All right." she replied, eyes not leaving Peter's face. The lines of pain etched in his face earlier seemed to be lessening.

"You really love him, don't you?" Gina observed easily. It was as if seeing her watching him heightened all the stories she told her about Peter. Gina wondered about the times she had seen them together and found it hard to recall a time where their interaction seemed as intimate or as caring as it did now, with Peter unconscious. She didn't know if that was a bad sign or not. But she was sure the feeling has to be mutual. How could it not? MJ was a one of a kind gal. She always treated others with utmost respect and with genuine care and friendship and she was a riot and not to mention drop dead gorgeous. Gina knew it wouldn't be long before her modeling career hit off, and then her acting career would follow suit.

MJ nodded silently, afraid to say it aloud. It was obvious to Gina, but to admit it seemed to be too revealing.

Gina squeezed her shoulder supportively. "It'll be ok,"


	22. Role Reversal: I Saved You

-1

_**By Your Side- Sade**_

_**you think I'd leave your side baby  
you know me better than that  
you think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees  
I wouldn't do that  
I'll tell you you're right when you want  
ha ah ah ah ah ah  
and if only you could see into me**_

oh when you're cold  
I'll be there  
hold you tight to me

when you're on the outside baby and you can't get in  
I will show you you're so much better than you know  
when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again  
I will find you darling and I will bring you home

and if you want to cry  
I am here to dry your eyes  
and in no time  
you'll be fine

you think I'd leave your side baby  
you know me better than that  
you think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees  
I wouldn't do that  
I'll tell you you're right when you wrong  
ha ah ah ah ah ah  
and if only you could see into me

oh when you're cold  
I'll be there  
hold you tight to me  
when you're low  
I'll be there  
by your side baby

oh when you're cold  
I'll be there  
hold you tight to me  
oh when you're low  
I'll be there  
by your side baby 

It was near morning before Gina felt comfortable leaving the apartment. She had administered a small dose of the anti-venom just to be safe. Long after she was certain their would be no bad reaction to the serum, she packed up and was heading out the door.

MJ saw her out, barely able to keep her eyes open. "Thanks again Gina. You are amazing. I can never repay you."

Gina smiled, always finding a sense of self worth when helping the sick. "Not necessary." she studied MJ's tired face. The girl was clearly exhausted, having not slept and worrying deeply for Peter's life. "Do me a favor, ok? Get some rest." Seeing the disagreement rising in her, she cut her off before she could even protest. "Ah ah, doctor's orders. What good will you be to Peter if you are exhausted when he wakes?"

MJ conceded. "All right, I promise. I am just going to check on Peter once more and then I will try to sleep."

"If you need anything, anything at all, just call my phone. I'm off duty till noon." Gina hugged her.

"Oh, I am so sorry. You will hardly get any sleep. It's so late, already…" MJ glanced at her watch.

"Don't be silly, I've pulled longer shifts at the hospital and gone back for the day on less sleep. I'm used to it. You, on the other hand, are not. Sleep!" Gina instructed.

MJ gave a small smile, one that took most of her energy to pull off. "Yes ma'am. Get home safe, all right?"

"Not to worry. Sun should be on the horizon within the hour. I'll hail a cab and be home before you even fall asleep," Gina headed to the elevator.

"Ha, race ya!" MJ challenged, shutting the door as Gina stepped into the elevator.

She leaned against the door, taking a moment in attempt to slow the spinning of her world. She sighed, feeling relief creep into her veins. It was quickly replaced by the extreme exhaustion that could no longer be denied. Her eyes felt heavy and her limbs like led. But, she had to climb the stairs once more and make sure Peter was still doing all right. She made her way up to his room as fast as her worn out body could handle.

She stepped into his room quietly, not wishing to disturb his sleep. She sat on the bed with care, feeling his forehead. His skin was cool and dry. A good sign. She smiled, cupping his cheek. "You'll be all right, Peter. I've taken care of you." she watched him stir under her touch and he murmured something inaudible. "I'll be here. Don't worry." she placed a soft kiss against his forehead and stood up. She stepped out the room, leaving the door open to make sure she would hear if he needed her.

She decided it would be best to sleep in Harry's bed. Peter would probably stir often and she did not want to be in his way. She stumbled into Harry's bedroom across from Peter's. She kicked off her shoes, and climbed into the neat bed. The sheets were immediately messed as she shifted around. She snuggled into the expensive fabrics trying to get comfortable. She exhaled, closing her eyes expecting sleep to set in.

A moment later, her nose twitched. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of Harry's cologne. Her eye opened and searched the room, feeling cold and uncomfortable. Her skin felt chilled and goose bumped. She opened her other eye. The room was well decorated and everything was neatly aligned and in order. Even the frames of the desks and pictures around the room seemed perfectly aligned. Everything seemed symmetrical and analyzed to appear perfectly placed as if it would be a crime if something was out of order. MJ was reminded of Norman and his sense of perfection. She shuddered, finding no warmth in the blankets. The room felt unfriendly and unwelcoming now that she associated it with the psychopath. A chill crept up her spine. She sat up and her eyes roamed the room wondering what it was specifically that made her so uncomfortable.

She became immediately aware of how much she missed Peter's bright and alive room; it was where the clothes were piled in a corner after being worn and the computer screen was constantly on, the bed was never made, the walls were covered in posters and photos he had taken. Everything about it contradicted the room she was in now. She sat up quickly, tossing the blanket aside and made her way back to Peter's room.

She slipped in, the rising sun lighting her way to the bed. She grabbed the extra blanket at the end of the bed and slid into the empty spot beside him. She closed her eyes and exhaled. And finally, she slipped into a deep sleep.

The snow had left a fresh few inches on the sidewalks left unplowed by mid-afternoon.

MJ stood at the window in the living room looking out at the city while the TV played softly in the background.

She turned away from the window, the cold draft that seeped in through the glass gave her a chill. She tried to warm up by rubbing her arms covered by one of Peter's sweatshirts.

With a yawn, she padded quietly into the kitchen area. She opened the cabinets seeking out the coffee. She wanted a cup to warm up. Not to mention help her wake up.

She hadn't slept very well. As she prepared the coffee, she recapped her night once she had fallen asleep beside Peter. She woke up twice to check on him. Both times his condition seemed to have improved . His fever had left and the swelling around the wound was nearly gone. In fact, the wound itself was practically healed. As well as the minor bruises visible on his face. Surely, his powers had something to do with that.

Hours later, at present time he was still asleep. MJ was glad for that. He would need lots of rest. Gina had said it would be some time before he had the strength to get out of bed.

The coffee percolated, the fresh aroma of the beans filling the air.

MJ opened the cabinet again looking for a mug. She searched a moment before her eyes rolled in annoyance. She spied quite a few of them still in the sink. I guess superheroes don't have time to do dishes! she thought. Or, more likely, given the state of his messy room, he was just like most other men. Lazy!

She turned back to the coffee machine, waiting.

The sound of pounding feet taking the stairs made her jump.

She nearly dropped the mug as she gaped at Peter coming down the steps. "What are you doing!" she snapped.

Peter stared back at her, equally shocked. At a loss for words, he chose simply to answer her question. Simply. "I smelled coffee."

MJ stared at him as if he spoke those words in a foreign language unbeknownst to her. A moment later when the words sunk in, she crossed her arms studying him with a look of displeasure. He was supposed to be in bed!

After scrutinizing him, she decided he really looked no worse for wear. In fact, he looked nothing like the man who was near death hours ago. His color was back in his cheeks and he wasn't doubled over in pain. She found it amazing he had the energy to stand at all, let alone take the stairs as if he just awoke from a short nap. "You'd wake from the dead for coffee wouldn't you? You may have a caffeine issue, Peter."

Peter let out a breath, relieved she didn't seem as angry as she did a moment ago. He was having a difficult time piecing everything together. It wasn't until after her studious gaze lifted that he understood what she was so infuriated about.

The night's events came rushing back to him and he remembered hours ago he was deathly sick and he had probably frightened her greatly. Heck, he scared the crap out of himself. He sighed, wishing to avoid her finding out his secret for this very reason. "MJ, I'm fine. I said I would be. I'm sorry I worried you, but really, I feel fine." he said carefully, approaching the counter.

He wanted to retreat in fear as the outrage began to show in her usually calm blue-green eyes. They stormed in fierceness now.

"You are fine because I took care of you! You almost died, Peter! And it wasn't your spider powers that saved you! It was me!" she poked him in the chest with her finger, her voice raising a few levels. "And if you ever scare me like that again…"

"This is why I didn't want you to find out," Peter said matter-of-factly.

"Well, be grateful I did or you'd be dead!" MJ poured him a cup, seeing him staring at the pot. "Have a seat and I'll tell you all about it."

"So once she was sure there would be no ill effect from the serum she left. I am so thankful she could help. You have no idea how close to death you were," MJ explained to Peter, pacing back and forth in front of him as he sat on the couch.

Peter took a few moments to ingest everything MJ just told him and it wasn't until she had made him dizzy pacing back and forth that he broke from his thoughts. He reached out, placing a hand on her arm to make her stop pacing. He hissed as pain assaulted his arm, running to his shoulder. He touched it with his other hand, forgetting it would be tender.

He took a deep breath, trying to keep his thoughts in order. It was so much to take in. He remembered the strange dream he had and the bright light that seemed to end the dream trance with MJ's silhouette. He remembered the excruciating pain and the sensation of being unable to breath or move. "I think I have an idea."

MJ studied him, finding the tone of his voice eerie. She sat beside him, tucking a foot under her. She played with the loose string hanging from the sleeve of his hooded sweatshirt. "Well, now maybe you understand why I am glad I know your secret. If I wasn't here, you may be-" she couldn't finish.

Peter sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder. "And maybe now you understand why I didn't want you to know. It's not your responsibility to take care of me or worry about me, MJ. Besides, we don't know that the outcome would have been deadly. My spider powers could have handled the poison-"

"No, we don't, Pete!" MJ's patience was stretched. She was tired and all she wanted was a little recognition. "We don't know if you would have survived, but you weren't making such a turn-a-round until Gina got here! Besides that, if you would just let me be with you, it would be my responsibility! I want it to be!"

Peter shot up from the couch as if someone threw hot coals on him. "Mary Jane, we've been over this. Drop it. I agreed to let you help do some research on this with me but if you can't keep the lines drawn between us, then I am going to have to leave you out of it."

MJ stared at him as if he had punched her.

Peter let out the breath he held, unsure why he had lost his temper. Then he remembered the man the Widow Maker made mince meat of last night and how close he came to that himself. This was getting too dangerous for MJ to be involved and he was trying to push her away, for her own safety. "In fact, I think it be best if I went it alone from here. Its not about research anymore. Its about hunting and being hunted."

Mary Jane could not believe him. "After I just spent the whole night helping you, taking care of you. Here, I expected just a tad bit of gratitude, a smidge of recognition for doing what you have done for me so many times. And instead, you are trying to force me away again!"

Peter let a low growl out, angry at himself. "I am grateful, and I am proud of you. I am thankful you were here, MJ. But, if something happened to you-"

"You wouldn't let it," she cut off.

"I may have super powers MJ, but I am not invincible and I can't be protecting you all the time. Just as I can't allow myself to put you in danger. I have enough to contest with, I don't need to be worrying about you too. Please, just don't fight me on this."

MJ grit her teeth, checking her anger. "Fine. I won't get involved further." she leaned back into the couch pulling a pillow out from behind her and hugged it to her chest.

"Thank you. That helps me a lot, really…" Peter sat on the couch again, feeling a little tired again. "I am pretty tired still. Maybe I'll have another cup of coffee."

MJ placed a hand on his leg before he could get up for his refill. "You should rest. Gina said it would be some time before you regained your strength. Super powers or not."

Peter had to agree with her. But he couldn't rest long. He had to stop that madwoman before she killed anyone else. "I can't afford rest, unfortunately. A day, two at the most." he leaned back against the pillows, closing his eyes. A moment later, he opened them and stared at MJ. "What did you tell Gina?"

MJ wondered when he was going to ask. "Nothing really. You were attacked and poisoned. She came and examined you and administered the medication." she paused, a smile curving her lips as she toyed with the end of the pillow. "And she admired your Spider-Man jammies." she slipped off the couch to refill his cup.

Peter stared at her retreating back, dumbfounded. "Pajamas?"

"Well, that's what she thought, so you have nothing to worry about," MJ chuckled, enjoying his expression as she returned. "Besides, I think she was too distracted with all those muscles of yours." she poked him in the ribs gently as she sat back down. "Or with saving your life, who knows."

He blushed furiously, suddenly glad he was unconscious for it. He almost wished he still was. It was bad enough MJ had seen him half naked, now her roommate did too. He groaned, remembering his costume was destroyed. That was his last replacement. Now he'd have to have another one made!

"What's wrong?" MJ heard his groan of disgust and worried he was experiencing pain again.

"Spidey is definitely going to be out of commission for a day or two. That was my last replacement costume. I'll have to get a new costume," he revealed.

"Well, I can't say I'm sorry. You need the rest," she shrugged, stifling a yawn, hugging the pillow again.

He watched her lean into the pillows behind her, curled up in his sweatshirt with her feet tucked under her body. He knew then and there he would never love anything more than the sight of her just like this. She was so wonderful to have taken care of him. He was sure she hadn't got much sleep herself and she looked thoroughly spent.

He felt a surge of emotion come over him. It was very important to him that he show MJ he appreciated all her care and concern. In a friendly manner, of course. No matter how much he suddenly envied his ESU hoodie she was currently wearing.

"Tell you what," he spoke up suddenly and she flinched, having started to doze off. He waited for her eyes to focus on him and he sipped his coffee. "Since I have some free time and I'll go stir crazy if I don't do something productive why don't we do that photo shoot of yours?"

MJ's eyes lit up, reminding him of those twinkling green Christmas lights. "Really?"

"I owe you," Peter replied, nodding to assure her.

She squealed excitedly, no longer showing the lack of energy she had moments previous. She smacked Peter with the pillow gently in obvious excitement. "Yes, yes, yes!"

Peter shielded her blows to protect his coffee and his battered shoulder. "Easy Red!!" He set his coffee on the counter before it wound up in his lap.

She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Oh, Peter! This is perfect! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"


	23. Picture This

-1**_If That's What It Takes- Celine Dion_**

_**You're the bravest of hearts, you're the strongest of souls  
You're my light in the dark, you're the place I call home  
You can say it's all right, but I know that you're breaking up inside  
I see it in your eyes  
Even you face the night afraid and alone  
That's why I'll be there**_

When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend  
Every beat of my heart, every day without end  
Every second I live, that's the promise I make  
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes  
If that's what it takes

You can sleep in my arms, you don't have to explain  
When your heart's crying out, baby, whisper my name  
'Cause I've reached out for you when the thunder is crashing up above  
You've given me your love  
When your smile like the sun that shines through the pain  
That's why I'll be there

When the storm rises up, when the shadows descend  
Every beat of my heart, every day without end  
I will stand like a rock, I will bend till I break  
Till there's no more to give, if that's what it takes  
I will risk everything, I will fight, I will bleed  
I will lay down my life, if that's what you need  
Every second I live, that's the promise I make  
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes

Through the wind and the rain, through the smoke and the fire  
When the fear rises up, when the wave's ever higher  
I will lay down my heart, my body, my soul  
I will hold on all night and never let go  
Every second I live, that's the promise I make  
Baby, that's what I'll give, if that's what it takes

If that's what it takes  
Every day  
If that's what it takes  
Every day 

That evening, Peter made his way to the studio Harry had set them up with for MJ's photo shoot. He was feeling almost a hundred percent again. There was still a dull ache in his shoulder and lovely scar left from the Widow Maker's claws. Aside from that, he felt like he never had a near death experience a little over twelve hours ago.

He knew MJ could hardly wait to get these photos taken and he finally had the time, so no time like the present. She had agreed to meet him here after her mid-shift at the Moondance Diner.

Peter set his stuff down on an empty table inside the studio and looked around. He whistled low and long. This place was a photographers dream come true! All the right lighting equipment, props, backgrounds, lens, cameras and tripods one would ever need was right at hand for use. In the corner of the room, there was a darkroom for developing the film. Along the walls just outside the room were large, metal shelves filled with endless supplies of film and developer. He smiled happily. He would be able to take some great shots of MJ that would do her portfolio proud. He silently envied the people who could afford to rent this place on a regular basis. It would be great to have a darkroom all his own he didn't have to rush using because he was forced to share with Eddie and the other Bugle photographers.

He started setting up his cameras and wondering if he should have even brought his. The technology here was far more advanced than his. He wandered around the room, wondering what would be best to use as MJ came bursting in, carrying multiple bags in her hands.

"Hey tiger, keep you waiting?" she rushed out, storming into the room quickly. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold and her nose was almost as red as the hair she had hidden under a green, knitted wool cap.

"Hey, MJ," he smiled. "Just got here a few minutes ago." he replied, finding it funny that he was on time and she was running late for a change. "Help you with those?"

"Huh?" she replied, distracted by his relaxed smile. "Oh, no. I got them. This is everything I need for the shoot." she set the bags down and shed her coat. "Do you have everything you need?"

"And then some. There's so much here I don't know where to start…" he answered, looking around in awe once more.

"Well, I do. First you need something or someone to photograph. That would be me," she grinned, growing excited. "So I am going to go get ready. Take your time setting up, I'll be awhile."

Peter grinned, finding her excitement infectious. He was glad to see her happy and smiling. He hadn't seen her like this in a long time. At least where the feelings she displayed were genuine. He'd seen enough of the fake, party- happy go lucky MJ to last him a lifetime. He liked the real deal much better. "Go on."

She gave him a smile in return as she passed by him. She stepped into the changing room, leaving the door open just a crack so she could talk to him as she prepared. "Any luck with the Widow?"

Peter went back to setting up the equipment, checking the angles against the backdrop cloth. "Nothing yet. After you left, I got some more rest-"

"Good," she cut off.

"I thought you'd say that," he chuckled. "Then I went to get a new costume and came straight here."

"Where exactly does one go for a spider-man costume?" MJ asked curiously.

Peter ignored her question, playing with the lights.

"Right, so… I brought along some other costumes of my own. This way we'll have some variety of shots. Think that will be ok?" MJ asked after realizing she wasn't getting an answer.

"Sure, that'll be great," Peter answered, finally happy with the lighting. He sat down, happy with the way everything was set up. It was all up to MJ now. "Ready when you are."

MJ groaned. "Few more minutes. Damn Enrique and his damn deep fryer… I'm covered in grease…"

Peter leaned back grinning at her complaint. His eyes traced the light pouring out from the crack in the door where MJ was changing. "So after we've developed the photos, what happens?"

"I am going to bring them to my agent tomorrow. From there, I don't know. But the sooner I get them to her, the better my chances of getting a job," MJ answered as she touched up her make up.

"Even with the holidays, she'll be working?" he questioned, hearing her rustle around.

"Yeah. She may even find me something right after New Year's. That be great!" she replied.

Peter was about to reply when a vibration in his pocket startled him. He fished his cell phone out of his jeans, not recognizing the number. He flipped open the phone. "Hello?"

"Peter?"

"Who's this?"

"Hey, it's Amber," a happy voice replied.

"Amber?" Peter questioned, the name not ringing a bell.

"From the Bugle," her tone grew an edge.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, feeling awful for forgetting her. "Hey," he replied, stepping out of the main room and away from earshot of one nosy redhead.

"Are you all right?" Amber asked. "You sound shaky."

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. Just a little after Christmas cold. What's up Amber?" Peter turned around to make sure MJ was still changing.

"Oh, well I hope you feel better. Sorry to bother you on your cell, I just went to visit Betty at the hospital. She said you were investigating the black widow attacks," Amber informed. "Anyway, I was hoping I could help you investigate. Betty mentioned something about her laptop… and before you say no, I won't take no for an answer." she demanded.

"Amber-"

"It would finally get me some recognition. I know I can help," she interrupted.

Her tone had such a strong presence, it struck Peter as slightly odd. His spider sense rumbled gently and he shook his head, getting the webs out. First MJ, now Amber wanted to be put in danger. But, what harm could looking at Betty's laptop with Amber cause?

"I can feel you thinking about it. How 'bout I sweeten the deal? I'll share what information I have got with you if you let me help investigate. I'll even buy you dinner while we discuss what information we have…"

Peter's interest was piqued. He wondered what info she dug up. The dinner he could pass on. It sounded like Amber was interested in more than his information… But he had thought she hit it off with Harry? MJ would kill him if she found out he went to dinner with her. He rolled his eyes. It was just dinner between colleagues. He was probably over thinking the whole dinner. He suddenly remembered he had left his camera in the alleyway and would have to go retrieve it once he was finished here with MJ. He hoped he remembered how to get to the alley, his mind was still foggy.

"Peter, are you there?"

"Oh, sorry. Bad connection. Let's make it lunch tomorrow afternoon. Meet me at my apartment. We'll look over what we got then grab lunch," Peter answered before he could change his mind.

"Sounds great, call you tomorrow for directions," Amber shouted enthusiastically.

"All right, goodnight," Peter hung up, slipping his phone back into his pocket quickly. As he stepped back into the main part of the room, MJ emerged from the changing room.

Amber glared at the phone in her hand. He had just hung up on her after a quick goodbye! Her anger boiled dangerously. Her hand squeezed her cell phone tightly, and she stopped only when she heard a crack. She would need the phone to contact Peter again tomorrow, so breaking it would only hinder her plans. She stepped out into the night recalling the past hour's events.

It hadn't been hard to get in to see Betty. A concerned colleague was more than an applicable excuse to visit the hospitalized woman. She had to make sure her serum worked and to cover any tracks that she may have left unhidden.

The look on Betty's face when Amber walked in the door gave Amber an indescribable thrill. At first, she was worried by the look of terror on the bedridden woman's face, thinking she recognized her. But the terror quickly turned into confusion.

"Ms. Dieson? What are you doing here?" Betty asked, allowing her confusion to color her tone.

"Hello Betty," she smiled, attempting to be warm. She stepped into the room further, studying the sick woman. "How are you feeling?"

"Recovering…" Betty answered cautiously. "What do I owe for a visit from you? We barely know each other."

"Now Betty, is that anyway to talk to a fellow colleague? I was quite concerned for your well being when I heard what happened. I only came to offer my concern and well wishes," Amber slid coolly around the seat beside her bed.

"Well that's very kind of you. However, I am quite tired. Perhaps you can come back another time?" Betty told more than asked. She felt very uncomfortable around Amber and she couldn't quite place why, which made her discomfort increase.

Amber pursed her lips and sat down ignoring Betty's request.

Betty glared at her, taking the newspaper she was reading off her lap and sat up straighter. "Amber, I want you to go."

"But, we haven't had a chance to talk about what happened to you yet. I heard you were poisoned with Black Widow venom. You know you're not the only one this has happened to. Do you remember what happened?" Amber's eyes went to the paper where the headline was about her alter ego.

"Now why would I even discuss that with you. I barely know you," Betty crossed her arms.

"Because it could happen to anyone, even me! And because I want the exclusive for the Bugle. You wouldn't want to make Jonah mad, would you?" Amber's patience were wearing thin.

Betty smirked at her. "Ned and Peter are already covering the attacks." she lifted the Bugle newspaper for Amber to see. "Obviously, you haven't read today's paper. With the commentary side column by our own J. Jonah Jameson." Betty raised a brow of triumph at the look on Amber's face. As Amber grabbed the paper. Betty allowed her mood to be dampened by the heading of Jonah's column. "Of course, Jonah has gone and blamed Spider-Man for it all and without a picture of this psycho, he can continue to get away with blaming him."

At the mention of Spider-Man's name, Amber ran cold and a dull ache in her ribs came back to life from her battle with the fellow arachnid the night before. Her teeth grit together and she clenched her fists in an attempt to keep the rage bottled up as the cork threatened to pop and her anger would spill out. "Spider-Man?"

"Yes," Betty replied as Amber coiled up the newspaper, gripping it in anger. She studied Amber closely, her mind a fog of frustration. What was it she couldn't put her finger on. "He's the logical choice for Jonah. Whenever anything goes wrong, Jonah blames Spidey. However, this time it seems too coincidental that this relates to spiders."

"Do you think Spider-Man is involved?" Amber asked, her voice taking on a dark tone.

"Oh, don't worry, I am sure your hero is not to blame," Betty waved off the suggestion.

Amber dropped the beaten newspaper and gripped the arm of the chair tightly. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to control the beast. Hero indeed. Spider-Man may have saved Amber's life but as far as the Widow Maker was now concerned his interference last night made him the enemy. She grinned at Betty, remembering the piercing of his flesh as her venom seeped into his veins. Spider-Man was dead. He would no longer pose a threat.

Betty was disturbed by Amber's grin. She reached for the call button beside her bed. "So you see Amber, the story is already being covered. Peter has my laptop so he will be able to search for any information uploaded from the Bugle archives. Ned is searching the actual Bugle's archives looking for something Peter couldn't find in his search there the other night. We already have enough coverage for the paper so… You may as well find something else to concentrate on."

Amber's smile did not break. "Well, I appreciate your advice but I think I will see if Peter needs any help with the investigation. He isn't a reporter after all. I am sure there is lots of research to go through and all on his own…"

"I already told you, Ned is investigating as well," Betty sighed, growing tired. "He is a great reporter, he'll get down to the bottom of this."

"I think Ned has enough on his mind, what with worrying about you and all. I think I will go give Peter a call on his cell phone. Sure this is nothing you can remember to help us?" Amber got out of her seat, ignoring Betty's comments. She had to make sure there was nothing implementing her on Betty's laptop. Plus, any opportunity to spend time with Peter was worth it.

"Amber, leave Peter alone," Betty warned.

Amber turned, glaring at Betty long and hard. "He needs me." she replied simply. And she needed to make sure he didn't find out her secret. Or she wouldn't be able to protect him from the Widow Maker anymore.

Betty watched Amber with suspicious and concerned eyes. What was wrong here?

"Feel better Betty. I am glad to see you weren't another victim of the poison. So many have suffered already, and who knows how many more. Don't worry, I will make sure everything gets taken care of. Bye." Amber left the room and whipped out her cell phone ignoring the signs on the wall requiring cell phones be turned off.

Peter jumped back a bit, taken aback by her sudden entrance. Then he was stunned into place, unable to move, he forgot how to breathe, forgot how to blink and his knees locked, the only thing holding him upright.

MJ flushed, a shade darker than her hair and she self consciously swayed back and forth. She brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and straightened up. "Well?"

Peter was still incapable of speech continuing to stare at the vision before him. There was MJ in that cream colored satin dress she got for Christmas, her shoulders bare, the soft material wrapping around the tops of her arms and one of her long, luxurious legs peeking out the slit of the dress, allowing Peter's mind to jump into motion. Then she spun around, the skirt billowing out and her hair whipped off her back revealing the crisscross strings along her exposed back.

She faced him again, still waiting for a response. She giggled, watching him stand there ramrod straight with an indefinable expression upon his face. "I guess this means you like what you see, tiger?"

Peter finally managed a nod. At least he thought he bobbed his head. He didn't remember. All he would remember of this moment would be exactly how gorgeous she was and how beautiful her smile was when she was this happy.

"Well…" she paused, hoping to see him react to her voice. He didn't. "Maybe we should get started?" she leaned out and poked him, hoping to get a reaction this time.

He finally snapped out of it. "Right, of course… we should." He held out an arm, showing her where to stand. "I suppose we'll start with a couple classic shots."

"I think that would be good. I want to tie my hair up for some too. Then I'll change clothes," she made her way over to where he ushered her to. She faced him and ran her fingers through the waves of her hair, brushing some to the side and some over her shoulder. She turned to her side, tilting her head in preparation. She smiled at him and let out a breath. "Ready."

Peter smiled back and lifted one of the cameras not screwed down to a tripod. He looked at MJ through the lens, adjusting the focus and was about the snap the first shot when MJ made a squeak and went out of focus. He lifted his head over the camera, wondering what was wrong.

"Don't make me look ugly," she told him, a huge grin coming across her face.

Peter allowed the nostalgia of her words sink in a moment and he felt a tingle work it's way through his system as he reflected on the memory. He grinned, surprised she remembered that moment. If she had any idea how close she was getting to about the truth and origin of Spider-Man that moment was, she was would be sitting on it. But, that didn't matter because that was not what that moment was about for Peter or MJ. It was the events previous to the spider bite that they were now reflecting upon. "Impossible." he replied before lifting the camera up again.

The flash went off and it was not nearly as bright as that thousand watt smile the film captured. Nor was it as bright as her future would soon be.


	24. In The Heights of Joy

-1Only a few more chapters to go kiddies, then this long and hard road will be complete as promised. Thank you to those who have been in for the looong haul and I do mean long. A four year journey is coming to an end. Still, I can't get enough. I smell a sequel of sorts in the wings. More to come on that… Enjoy and hey, if ya really did enjoy, hit the pretty review button and lemme know what you did enjoy, eh? Reviews are like the whipped cream in hot cocoa, you can't ever get enough and there's always some left behind you have to scoop out. Ok, so maybe they're not similar…

_**How To Save A Life- The Fray**_

_**Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
And you begin to wonder why you came**_

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

The mid morning sun was bright and unusually warm for the end of the year. New Year's Eve was a day away and still the city was a bustle of activity, people hard at work despite the impending holiday. The sun's warmth had more people out on the street than usual.

MJ dodged in and out of the crowded sidewalks with a bright smile on her face. She hadn't been this happy in a long time. Her pictures came out astounding and she couldn't wait to show them to Zolandra Mocky, her agent. She clutched them in the protective folder Peter had given them to her in as she headed for Zolandra's building.

They had a great time last night snapping the photos and an even better time in soft conversation as Peter developed the photos for her. It had been a peaceful night with no interruptions of his alter ego, heck they didn't even discuss the bug. Instead, they shared childhood memories never explored from the other's point of view, their feelings on different ethnic foods, and they even branched world news and politics. MJ found Peter's level of intelligence refreshing, appealing and she even learned a thing or two from him and vice versa. It was everything she ever wanted in someone and she wouldn't even let the fact he remained unattainable dampen her spirits right now. Everything was going right and she didn't want to bring herself down.

She stepped out of the sun's glow and into the stuffy lobby of the agency. She took the stairs instead of the elevator using the steps as a way to burn off some excess exhilaration.

She stepped into the waiting room and approached Zolandra's secretary with her smile unwavering. "Good morning, I'm here to see Zolandra."

"Oh, Miss Watson. How convenient. I was to call you this afternoon to meet with Zoey. She has some things to discuss with you," the elderly woman paged her schedule book. "I believe she has some free time in the next half hour."

"Wonderful, I'll wait. Thank you," MJ sat down, her interest piqued. What did Zoey have to talk with her about? Perhaps she had some bad news? Oh no… not when everything was going so right…

It was the longest half hour wait of her life as she thumbed magazines and half heartedly listened to the morning talk show playing on the T.V. in the background of the room. Finally, Zolandra emerged from her office door and greeted MJ with a warm smile. "Good morning Mary Jane, why don't you come on in?"

MJ stood up, remembering her photos and smiling at Zoey. "Hey Zoey, how are you?"

Zoey waited for MJ to step into her brightly colored office before closing the door behind her. "I am well, how about you? How was your holidays? Looking forward to a New Year, hmm?"

MJ grinned, preparing to answer Zoey's barrage of questions. She had a terrible habit of saying too much at once, or asking. "Doing well also. Holidays were a check and New Year looks promising. I hope… Well, speaking of promising, I have something here."

"So do I," Zoey announced cryptically.

"You do?" MJ asked, unsure what to think.

"What do you have there, darling? Portfolio? My last marriage certificate? What?" Zoey reached out for the folder.

MJ nodded, handing it over as she giggled. "Take a look."

Zoey thumbed them silently. Then she exploded into her usual range of excitement. "Mary Jane, these are stunning! Absolutely brilliant!" she crowed, her loose European accent showing through. "Beautiful shots! You must have paid a lot! I hope you didn't pay too much you know. Though they are worth it!"

MJ beamed, bouncing in place. "Not a cent! My friend Peter took the photos and my friend Harry rented the studio for us!"

"Fabulous, you'll need to save every penny you got for now!" Zoey dropped the folder on her desk going back to being aloof.

"What? Why?" MJ asked, sounding concerned. This didn't sound good.

Zoey looked emotionless before her face split into a grin. "We got you a small deal with a perfumery! You are going to the poster face of a new scent of perfume coming out called Emma Rose!"

MJ's jaw dropped and she nearly fell over in shock. "Really?"

"Truly! Your face is going to be everywhere! Billboards, magazines, T.V. ads, even movie screen advertising!" Zolandra informed, feeling her own excitement for her.

MJ hugged Zoey tightly, squealing excitedly. Zoey had been more like a friend to her than an agent for the past year. She knew she was really excited for her as well. "Zolandra! I don't believe it! Really? This is really happening?"

"Yes, it is!" she chuckled. "Get used to it, dear! Once I get these photos out there, I am sure we will be turning people down left and right because you're booked solid!" she took MJ hands, trying to control her own joy. "The best part is Emma Rose is based right here in New York so you won't have to travel far. You will need some travel money though. A few shots may be done out of state but never mind that right now. Bask in your success MJ, before you know it Broadway will be knocking on our door!"

MJ fought back tears as she watched Zoey shake her hands in excitement. She felt her stomach churn in excitement and she chuckled in happiness. Peter! She couldn't wait to share her news with him! He would be so proud!

"Come darling, sit and we will go over the details. I need a few things from you and then you can go share your news with everyone!" Zolandra directed her to a seat breaking her train of thought.

MJ sat down, looking around the room at the different, famous ads and movie posters of some of Zoey's other clients. Soon her face would be up on these walls and all over the country! Her dreams were finally coming true and she couldn't believe it! MJ snapped back to reality once Zoey's voice addressed her again. She listened to Zoey carefully, pushing thoughts of stardom and her excitement to share with Peter aside for just now.

The rapping on the door woke Peter up as he had fell asleep on the couch in the midst of reading through some folders on Betty's laptop. The warmth of the computer on his lap had lulled him into a sleep, something he had been lacking more than usual.

He yawned tiredly, setting the laptop aside on the coffee table. "Be right there!" he shouted, getting up. He stepped on the plug, becoming tangled in it. He nearly fell flat on his face as he became tangled in it in his attempt to get to the door. The laptop slid from the table and hit the floor with a thud. "Oh…boy…" he muttered.

"Peter?" Amber's voice came from the door.

"Be right there!" he answered, his voice going to a higher level than he'd like. He untangled his foot and ran to the door, opening it. "Hey Amber! Nice to see you!" he called politely over his shoulder as he rushed back inside. "Come on in!"

Amber stood there a moment in puzzled anger, then she giggled warmly and stepped in. "Hello to you too, Peter. Are you ok?"

"Oh fine, sorry! I… uh… think I broke Betty's laptop," he leaned down, picking it up from the floor. "Well…" he stared at the black screen. "If nothing else its definitely powered down again. I think I may have done her a favor, every time I try to look at it, the power goes off. I think she needs a new one." he rambled, feeling Amber's eyes on him. He stood up, putting it on his kitchen counter. He turned to Amber for the first time since she stepped into his apartment and he couldn't help but appreciate what his eyes found.

Amber smiled innocently, enthralled by his gaze. She had chosen to wear a pair of fitted jeans and a cropped teal top that brought out her eyes and hair color. She left her hair in waves and pinned it back with only a clear headband. She turned her hip a bit, playing a bit of flirtation. "What are you staring at?"

Peter blushed having been caught staring. "I'm sorry. You just look very nice." he squeezed out.

Amber nearly went into convulsions of joy over his small compliment. "Thank you, you're not looking so bad yourself. As usual." she smiled sweetly, lowering her head a bit, playing shy.

"Thanks…" he nodded, not knowing what else to say. After a moment of awkward silence, he spoke up. "Have a seat, maybe we should get started."

Amber grinned her agreement, bringing herself to the couch where she could see tons of folders spread out over the coffee table. "Boy, you really want to get to the bottom of this don't you?"

Peter fiddled with the computer, hoping to get it to turn back on. "Yeah, I do. I don't like to see people I care about get hurt."

"Like Betty," Amber added.

"Like Betty, yes," Peter answered, giving up on the laptop for now. "There's been so many deaths because of this venom. It needs to be stopped."

Amber was surprised by the tone of his voice. He certainly felt strongly about it. She held her disagreement back, and continued to smile. "Well, with all this information, I am surprised you haven't gotten to the bottom of this yet."

"Me too," he muttered. "But I think we're getting closer. At least we know who is behind the attacks now." he frowned.

"Spider-Man?" Amber questioned, wondering if he felt the same way Betty did.

Peter raised a brow, surprised at Amber's suggestion. "No… I thought you were a fan?"

"Oh..." Amber paused. "I am. I just read Jonah' column yesterday and thought…" she trailed off.

"Did you not look at today's paper?" Peter asked, confused.

Her heart sped up and she took a controlled breath. She spent most of her time, preparing to see Peter this morning. "No, why?"

Peter chuckled, bringing her the paper from the kitchen. "Usually the Bugle reporters read the paper everyday…" he hinted. "Maybe you should start." he grinned playfully.

Amber took the paper from Peter took distracted by the thudding in her chest to enjoy Peter's laughter. Her heart plummeted to her feet and everything stopped as she read the headline:

Widow Maker Spreads Venomous Plague

The article read written by Ned Leeds and pictures credited to Peter Parker. There on the front page was a dark picture in black and white of the Widow Maker fighting off Spider-Man in the alley way from the other night.

Amber stared hard at the picture, not breathing. "How did you get this picture?" she asked slowly and softly.

Peter was surprised by her subdued reaction. "Right place, right time. I was trailing Spider-Man the other night and I happened upon the action." he answered easily, used to such a question whenever it involved his photography. "Spidey told me her name."

"Spider-Man told you?" she asked with disbelief.

He rubbed the back of his neck, grinning a little. "Well, you know I take a lot of pictures of him. He always gives me a lecture about getting a little too close to the action sometimes. I ran into him and he told me what she called herself." he pulled off a blush, shrugging.

The fury that was rumbling inside her threatened to break. Spider-Man was still alive? Impossible! It couldn't be true! "So Spider-Man fought the Widow Maker then?"

"Yeah, something about revenge. I think maybe she was hurt before, too many times and she may have snapped. Perhaps if she is apprehended she can get some help," Peter sat next to Amber on the couch.

"Well, I can't say I feel sorry for the scum she has killed so far, rapists and abusers. They got what was coming to them, don't you think?" Amber snorted unable to keep her anger aside.

Peter was unsure how to answer her. He believed in people being reprimanded for their sins and paying back society but he certainly didn't feel anyone should be punished by being brutally murdered. "Uh, like karma?"

Like revenge. She thought with a dark smile. "Right." she answered simply.

"Right," Peter replied, a bit disturbed by the look upon her face.

Amber scanned the article in shock. How could they have gotten all this information? Off of mere speculation! Something was definitely not right. "With all these victims, how did Spider-Man survive a battle?" she tried not to cross the boundaries and give something away but she was stunned by how close this was getting.

Peter rolled his shoulder muscle, working out the stiffness from his battle wound. "I don't know, he is pretty relentless." he paused with a comical smile, but Amber's face was still twisted in distaste. "I think he was hurt, but he got away."

Amber searched her mind, replaying the events of that night. They pumped him with so much venom he shouldn't have gotten up at all let alone get away! No! This couldn't be happening! "Well… that's… good. I am glad." she forced out, then even managed a smile. Her eyes met Peter's and all thoughts of the Widow Maker and Spider-Man disappeared from thought. Her heart filled with desire. "You know, I admire your dedication to your friends, Peter. You are really sweet."

Peter looked at Amber with confusion. He didn't understand her change of mood. A moment ago she seemed at battle with confusion and now she was grinning at him with a gleam in her eye. It made him feel uncomfortable and he didn't know what to make of her comments. He wasn't used to this kind of attention, but she appeared to be flirting with him. "Thanks, Amber."

She continued to smile at him, staring at him for a moment.

"So… let's get to work then, shall we?" Peter picked up a folder, looking through it's contents. "Basically we're looking for anyone who fit's the motive and is female. A vigilante, if you will."

Amber snapped back to reality. "But how could they, I mean she… poison people with the venom?"

"Well, Betty remembered something about finger nails, or needles… But I don't know how she gets the actual venom or how she stores it." he tried to recall the hand that jammed the needle-like nails into his shoulder. "A mystery I guess that won't be solved until she's caught."

"You can't be serious. How could she possibly carry the poison. She must use a syringe…" Amber played along. A bell rang in her head and she turned to Peter, suspicious. "I thought Betty didn't remember anything?"

Peter gulped, knowing it was not a memory of Betty's but his own. However, he couldn't tell Amber that. "Well, maybe… she didn't feel comfortable sharing info with you. I'm sorry Amber, but Betty is… well.. She's selective about who she trusts, ya know?" he frowned, seeing Amber frown sadly. "I think you're great. Don't worry, Betty will too. She'll see how great you are too."

Amber was more sure than ever that she needed to have Peter. He was perfect. She had never been more sure of anything. He would never hurt her like the others did. Peter was too kind and gentle and sweet. "Thank you, Peter. I think you're kinda great too…" she placed a hand over his. The touch of his skin sent shivers through her body.

Peter didn't know how to respond without upsetting her or thinking she wasn't nice. He knew what it was like to try so hard to be liked by people and being rejected. He didn't want to hurt Amber, but it seemed she was growing attached to him. Too attached.

"Peter, I want to be honest with you," Amber bowed her head. "I didn't come here just to help with the research. I came here to spend time with you." she gripped his hand now. "I like you a lot, Peter."

"Amber-"

"Now, I know it's important to catch this… villain… I want justice served. I really want to help you find out more information but I just needed you to know how I feel. I was hoping maybe you could possibly feel something to…" she paused briefly. "You've been more than wonderful to me and I really wanted you to know I appreciate it. You have been nicer to me than any other man in my life."

"Oh, Amber, I really think you're great, I do-"

Amber wasted no time for him to finish, she leaned over and kissed him. Her lips found his quickly and she put a hand to his neck to deepen the kiss. Her other hand went to his shoulder and she gripped tightly, ready to devour him.

Peter was beyond stunned as Amber fell atop him and her lips crashed into his. Her hand gripped his neck strongly and the hold over his injured shoulder rendered him unable to move. Her lips tasted sweet and soft but he wasn't enjoying this at all and he tried not to kiss her back but her lips were powerful and artful. They forced his to move in return and he was helpless. His spider sense was tingling in warning at the power of her hold. She was strong. Too strong.

"Peter!"

That was not Amber's voice and it was not his own.

Amber finally pulled away releasing her vice like grip.

Peter looked to where the sound of his voice being said originated from. His heart then broke into a million pieces.


	25. In The Depths of Sorrow

-1**_Walk Away- Lara Fabian _**

_**When I woke up today  
I could have sworn you were the man that would never betray  
I could have sworn you were my life and my dream and my faith  
But in one moment you took that all away**_

Did you break me to see if I'd break  
Did you wanna know what I was made of  
Big mistake  
'Cause there's nothing now  
That you or anyone can say  
So save your breathe and walk away

And your excuses, they make me wanna scream  
I could have sworn you were the man that would never never be mean  
I could have sworn you were the light in the end of the dark for me  
But you proved that  
It's never what it seems

Did you break me to see if I'd break  
Did you wanna know what I was made of  
Big mistake  
'Cause there's nothing now  
That you or anyone can say  
So save your breathe and walk away

How can I look at you the same way  
Nothing is the same as it was  
How can I touch you in same way  
They'll never be the same

Did you break me to see if I'd break  
Did you wanna know what I was made of  
Big mistake  
'Cause there's nothing now  
That you or anyone can say  
So save your breathe and walk away

Just save your breathe and walk away  
Oh, no, that's why I could have sworn you were the man that would never betray

It had to be a really bad dream. This couldn't really be happening to him. This was the kind of thing that happened on T.V. not in real life. His heart was in a million pieces and he was sure he'd never recover them all to be whole again. The look on MJ's face would be the most sorrowful expression he ever witnessed. In fact, he was sure it mirrored his own.

He sat up quickly, wanting to go to her. "Mary Jane, no… This is not as it seems. Now, just give me a minute to explain."

"Oh, Peter. I don't need an explanation," MJ answered tightly.

"You don't?" he almost calmed. Could she be that understanding? Could she know what he was going to say?

"No, you have made it more than clear on more than one occasion that I am not entitled an explanation of what you do with your time. In fact, I don't even care anymore. Goodbye!" MJ shouted, her temper bubbled and tears immediately dispelled from her eyes. She turned quickly and went out the door.

Peter chased after her, moving quicker than he could imagine. "Wait! MJ, please!"

"Peter, come back!" Amber called as she grinned like a Cheshire cat. The timing could not have been more perfect! She watched Peter run out after MJ and the door bounced behind him, staying cracked open.

"MJ, wait, MJ!" Peter stepped into the hallway after her.

She was standing near the elevator, pressing the button rapidly. "Just go away Peter." she said through gritted teeth. Her anger could not be described with rational words right now. Her fury was mounting with each moment in his presence.

"Mary Jane, I don't care for Amber. She got the wrong impression and the next thing I know she's kissing me! I didn't want her to! Please, MJ, you've got to believe me!" Peter pleaded, gripping her arm and turning her to face him.

"Then why didn't you get her off of you? Don't waste your lies on me, Peter. I don't want to hear them. Just leave me alone!" she shouted, yanking her arm free.

"I tried, but she was strong, MJ…" his voice dove into a whisper. "Real strong."

MJ laughed haughtily. "Oh, I bet!"

"MJ, I am serious! She held me down!" Peter sighed, wishing she'd believe him. "Even with my strength, I couldn't get her off of me."

"Oh I bet! I bet you were too busy enjoying yourself to even think of moving!" MJ slammed the elevator button again and again.

Peter knew better than to tell her the elevator was still broken. She had obviously forgotten in her fury. He had never seen her so mad before. "You know that's not true, MJ. I don't want a relationship with Amber."

"Or me! Right? Yet, here I find you alone together in your apartment, practically groping each other!" MJ shook with fury as she recalled the sight of Peter and Amber kissing.

"MJ, come on! Be serious here! I am not interested in Amber at all! You know why I can't be with you. I don't want to see you get hurt. You know how I feel about you!" Peter was desperate. If he thought grabbing her and kissing her would dispel her anger right now, he'd do it. "Please, MJ."

MJ's eyes squeezed shut and her heart, what was left of it, continued to wilt onto the floor. She lowered her head, not sure how much of this heartbreak she could take. "Please stop! Just stop it and go away."

Her voice carried her heart ache and Peter was never sorrier for anything in his whole life. He hurt her. Just like he hurt Uncle Ben and let him down. He was gone now because of him. Now he had hurt her, again. He would never forgive himself for letting this happen. "I am sorry, MJ. I never meant to hurt you. That's the last thing I ever want to happen. You must at least know that. I would never do anything to hurt you. I wish you would believe me. I know how much you love me."

"I hate you Peter! I don't love you! I hate you!" MJ screeched turning to face him in all her fury. Her anger boiled over and she spouted out like a raging volcano. "You're just like the rest of them! You don't care about me, you just hurt me! You're just like Flash and my dad and Harry. You are no different, Peter. I hate you!" she shouted. "All this time I thought you really did love me…" she quieted, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. Then her hurt surfaced to anger again and she began to shout again. "I really thought you wanted to be with me and that you being Spider-Man was the only thing stopping us!" she shrieked loudly, not caring who heard. "But I was wrong! You are nothing but a lying, deceiving jackass! I am sorry I ever thought otherwise. I never want to see you again!"

"MJ, shh!" Peter panicked, hoping Amber didn't hear her shouts. She was so loud; he would be surprised if half of New York hadn't heard her.

She smacked him hard across the face with all her might. She didn't care!

Peter held his cheek, stunned by the pain it caused, not from the force of her blow but that she had actually struck him with such hate in her eyes. "Mary Jane, please don't say that. Please, I never wanted to hurt you. I can't loose you, MJ. I can't. Not now."

MJ slammed her fist against the elevator button, and then finally saw the sign on the elevator door that read:

Out of Order

She growled at her stupidity; for not remembering the sign, for allowing herself to be hurt by another man, for believing Spider-Man was the only excuse keeping her from Peter. She still shook with fury despite her outpour of emotion, including the hard smack she'd given him. His words were only adding fuel to the fire. She turned to him with a glare equal to the Goblin's. "You have hurt me more than I can ever remember hurting." she stated simply. Then she furrowed her brows and her voice became deep and bitter. "You can't loose what was never yours."

Peter stared at her, feeling lower than he had in over a year. He felt that same defeated and lost feeling he had holding Uncle Ben's hand as he died, a death Peter was responsible for. He felt the entire world drain from him and he felt worthless and alone once again.

She stared at him for a moment, almost breaking her resolve at the look of destruction in his eyes. She had torn him apart and she wasn't sure what was left. She knew there was a piece of her own self missing and would always be missing now. Her anger surfaced overcoming the concern for him like a tidal wave. Her face burned bright with heated fury and she gave him a final glare. Then she pushed past him with all her might and he actually budged. Whether it was from the might of her fury or his buckling form that moved him she didn't care to discover. She just rushed past him and took the stairs, refusing to look back.

Meanwhile, inside the apartment, Amber flinched hearing MJ's voice crack as she had screeched at Peter. It made her giggle with glee. The woman's pain was pure joy. Amber got off the couch and came to the kitchen counter so she could hear better. Her hand rested on Betty's laptop and she suddenly recalled that she needed to be covering her tracks. She tried to turn on the laptop as she heard MJ lay into Peter about not caring about her.

Amber groaned, unable to get the damn laptop on. She gave up and continued searching while listening to the shouting match. She found Peter's camera bag, the same one she had purchased for him for Christmas. She wondered if he had anything hidden in there. She ripped open the Velcro top and peered inside. She saw his camera, some rolls of film and something red and black. Amber's curiosity peeked and she pulled out the material from the bag.

Her hand shook as her eyes took in the details. Black strands like webs covered the dark red material. The white, opaque eye slots peered back at her and Amber's heart rate increased dramatically again for the second time today. "Spider-Man's mask?"

The shouting from outside grew louder and Amber tried to concentrate but the evidence in her hands had her reeling. It couldn't be real; it had to be a joke, right? Or a gift from Spider-Man. Peter did kind of know him… Right?

But it could explain why he always got the shot of Spider-Man and the information from the other night. The reason he wasn't with MJ as well. And as if her mind was being read, MJ began to shout again, and it was impossible not to hear what she said.

"You're just like the rest of them! You don't care about me, you just hurt me! You're just like Flash and my dad and Harry. You are no different, Peter. I hate you!" she had shouted. She muttered something inaudible. "I really thought you wanted to be with me and that you being Spider-Man was the only thing stopping us! But I was wrong! You are nothing but a lying, deceiving jackass! I am sorry I ever thought otherwise. I never want to see you again!"

Amber's jaw dropped and the amount of information she was taking in at once was making her head spin in overload! Peter was Spider-Man! No! This couldn't be happening. Her sweet, shy, innocent Peter was a liar! A manipulative, deceitful male! He was no different than the rest! Apparently, he had hurt MJ as well before. Amber's fist clenched the mask tightly, wishing Spider-Man's neck was inside. She cared not for the pain caused to MJ really, her own pain was too intense, but it solidified that Peter was not the good man she thought he was. The walls felt like they were closing in around her. Peter was wicked. Peter was bad. Peter had to pay. And he would pay dearly. She no longer cared if there was any incriminating evidence here, Peter would soon be gone. How he had survived her poison touch as Spider-Man she didn't know and no longer cared. She wanted her revenge and she would have it!

She heard MJ's voice floundering as she was breaking down. She shoved the mask violently back into the camera bag and walked away, pacing the floor as she grit her teeth in attempt to hold the monster inside that wished to be unleashed.

A moment later, Peter ambled in the doorway and looked up at Amber with sullen eyes. "Amber, I'm sorry, but you really misunderstood me. I just want to be friends." he sighed, finding it was all too late. MJ was gone. Nothing else mattered.

"Peter, I have to go," she said in a controlled voice.

Peter's spider sense had been on a low vibration ever since MJ walked in the door but it suddenly spiked at her voice. "Did you hear us arguing?"

"No, not really. I tried to mind my business. I see I caused some trouble here, so I'm going to go…" she went to the couch for her coat.

"Amber, I'm sorry. Please, don't be upset. I care about you," Peter sighed, running his hand through his hair.

Amber gathered her briefcase and put on her coat. "I really have to go, Peter. It's ok. I will see you around."

Peter couldn't tell if she knew he was Spider-Man and was acting suspicious or if she was really embarrassed and wanted to leave. Somehow, judging by his spider sense, it was more than embarrassment. "Amber, can we talk a minute?"

"No," she answered quickly and sharply. "There's nothing to say. Don't worry, Peter. I know how you feel. It's fine. I have to go, really. I can't stay."

Peter allowed her to pass, watching her strangely. "What about the Widow Maker?"

Amber turned back and gave a dark smile. "I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding her on your own." she answered then disappeared out the door.

Peter stood there unsure of what to do next. His heart was broken, his mind was spinning and he couldn't seem to stop the world from crashing down on him. He stood there, mind racing with so many thoughts. Did Amber know? Would MJ really not want to see him again? How did Amber possess the strength to hold him down? What was with the way she acted before she left?

Peter slammed his hand on the kitchen counter in frustration. A dent formed where his fist struck and he sighed, resting his head in his hands in defeat.

Then he heard a distinct beep.

He lifted his head up and wondered what the noise was. Then there was a distinct chiming sound and Peter realized the laptop next to him had powered up. He huffed in surprise. Finally, something worked his way. He flipped open the screen and a list of folders from where he searched earlier were presented to him on screen. He scanned the names of the folders and discovered they were old back stories with none of the information he needed.

He sighed; ready to give up when he remembered how to look up folders viewed most recently. He brought up the list and there was a folder titled, For Peter listed. Peter huffed again, not believing his luck. But what could this possibly be? He clicked on the file inside and it opened an old newspaper article from six years ago from Boston. The headline on the page read:

Husband Grieving Murdered Wife, Mistress the Prime Suspect Turns Up Missing

Below that was an old photo of a young blonde teenager. A teenager that had a striking resemblance to Amber.

Peter stared in shock at the photo, unable to believe it was her. He hit the arrow key and the next headline read:

Mistress Strikes Again, Man Murdered

Peter read the article about the teenage girl named Nancy Baker who was having an affair with a married man who refused to leave his wife for the teenage mistress. Nancy became enraged at the man's betrayal and murdered the wife, according to police. A week later the husband was killed and Nancy was still missing.

It was all starting to make sense now. The murders, the abuse and torture she must have received… she became enraged and psychotic, killing those who betrayed her. Like Widow Maker said she had been a voice of revenge for the hurt and pains she suffered. And she was strong, and she had the venom to destroy people. Amber's grip was strong, and her reaction was very suspicious. Could Amber really be the Widow Maker? Betty was suspicious of her from day one; suspicious enough to do some research and find these articles with pictures that could unmistakably be Amber. But what made Betty forget Amber was behind her attack? Part of the serum? True, he was having trouble remembering some details himself, such as the fact he had left his camera behind, but to forget the entire attack? Had Amber concocted something to make Betty forget? How far stretched was this all?

No more far stretched he supposed, than a grown man climbing walls and shooting webbing from his wrists and dodging bullets, cars and whatever else the baddies managed to throw at him.

Peter's suspicions made his heart pound rapidly as the possibilities came together. He had to be sure, so he found his cell and called Ned. He had to look into the name Nancy Baker and find out everything he could before someone else got hurt.


	26. Revenge Draws A Breath

-1**_Stranger Inside-Shinedown_**

_**This day could be the worst one yet**_

_**I just won't relax I can't catch my breath**_

_**Because I'm sick and tired of you'll be fine**_

_**Well how do you know, can you read minds**_

_**So take while you can so you can meet demands**_

_**My insanity is what you thrive on**_

_**So rip it from my soul, so everyone will know in the end**_

_**We were never friends**_

_**Have you ever felt lost inside so unloved within that you almost die**_

_**Have you ever stepped out of the light and realized there's a stranger inside**_

_**Don't push your ignorance on me **_

_**I'm not unrehearsed to your jealousy**_

_**And I know you think I don't see the signs**_

_**Well how do you know, do I look blind**_

_**So take it while you can so you can meet demands**_

_**My breakdown is what you thrive on**_

_**So rip it from my soul so everyone will know in the end**_

_**I'm the break you're the bend**_

_**Have you ever felt lost inside so unloved within that you almost die**_

_**Have you ever stepped out of the light and realized there's a stranger inside**_

_**Stranger inside**_

_**Have you ever felt lost inside so unloved within that you almost die**_

_**Have you ever stepped out of the light and realized there's a stranger inside**_

MJ couldn't believe her luck. From the very heights of joy to the very depths of sorrow. She sniffled, wiping at her eyes again. She sat on her bed, surrounded by tissues. She collapsed onto her bed, snuggling into her pillow. She couldn't believe how foolish she had been. She had been hurt before but never like this. Peter was the one she could always run to, the one she could always trust and now even he had betrayed her.

She couldn't get the image of Amber on top of him, kissing each other out of her mind. Every time she closed her eyes, every time she opened them, there they were! She couldn't escape it! Of all the excuses he could make, the best he could do was she had some sort of super strength. Yeah, sure! What, was she related to the Green Goblin? Please!

She was angry! She was angry with him for allowing it to happen even if he didn't want it to, angry with herself for trusting in him and angry with Amber for ever showing her face in their lives. So much anger was boiling inside of her, anger that if she were a lesser person, she would have subjected someone to. But she would not sink to the level of so many evil people she'd known in her lifetime like her father or Norman Osborn.

Perhaps she should be thankful though. It would have only been a matter of time before Peter hurt her to this extent anyway. There was only so much more pushing away she could handle.

She should have known. He was a man and it seemed that it was destined for every man in her life to destroy her piece by piece.

The worst of it really was she had no one to turn to. Peter was her very best friend and confidant. She hadn't felt this misplaced and alone since the nights after Norman's funeral when she couldn't face Peter and his rejection.

Part of her wanted to believe him about Amber but all the same, he turned away from her time and again and pushed her too far away too many times. She couldn't forgive it anymore. She wouldn't!

The phone rang shrilly and she jumped in surprise. It continued to ring and she feared answering incase it was Peter and his meaningless apologies. The answer machine buzzed and it was not Peter's voice that spoke into the machine but Zoey's.

"MJ, answer this phone immediately! I know you're there because you're not answering your cell! Pick up, pick up, pick up!" Zoey shouted into the machine.

MJ groaned, not wanting to talk to anyone, she just wanted to wallow in her self misery.

"All right fine! Call me before the night is through or I will just make the decision myself! Toodles!" Zoey gave up and hung up quickly.

MJ buried her head under a pillow. "Go ahead Zoey. I suck at decisions." she muttered miserably into the pillowcase. "I don't care anymore. Nothing matters."

"That's the best news I've heard all day! It will make your death all the more easier for you," a woman's dark, hate laced tone answered her.

MJ shot up, coming face to face with a woman clad in black standing at the foot of her bed. She gasped loudly and curled in fear. "Who are you? What do you want?"

The woman laughed happily. "I am so glad you asked. I am the Widow Maker, dear. I thought it was about time for my introduction, I have been wanting to meet you for quite a long time now. And what I want is simple. I want your blood on my hands. Your death will come at my doing. Revenge will be mine!" she answered, as she displayed a hand for MJ to see. Five razor sharp nails popped out and green ooze immediately dripped down each nail.

MJ's heart ceased movement and she screamed louder than she remembered screaming ever. She rolled off the side of the bed as the woman reached out to grab her. Five needle-like nails pierced her mattress where she once lay.

Widow Maker groaned in annoyance. "Hold still. You have nothing left to live for anyway!"

MJ got to her feet quickly and reached for her bedside lamp, ready to swing at the woman if she got near. Her words were puzzling but she did not ponder them for fear she would be caught off guard.

"Oh come on Mary Jane. You've lost everything you ever wanted, just give in and make this easy on yourself!" Widow hopped over the bed in one easy leap.

MJ swung the lamp hard across her face like a baseball bat. The crack against her face was loud and the lamp flickered off, leaving the room dark except for the setting sunlight bleeding in through the shades.

Widow howled as her mask was knocked free and fell to the floor. She chuckled staring at the ground, her chuckles turning into full blown laughter as she stared at the mask before turning her face up to MJ. "Surprise."

MJ dropped the lamp in shock as the sight of Amber's face under a mane of jet black hair. But her face was mangled with dark green pulsing veins and her eyes were black as pitch. "Amber… no…." she could not speak. Many thoughts filled her mind all at once. This woman was crazy. Peter was right. This woman was going to kill her. She was going to die. Peter would not save her. This woman would be the last thing she would see. She would never get away. Peter was right. He was right and she was dead.

Widow chuckled at the fear on MJ's face as she came down upon her and filled her world with darkness.


	27. The Role Of The Hero

_**Reason To Believe- Dashboard Confessional **_

_**Oh sweet lungs don't fail me now  
Your burning has turned into fear  
Drills me in my every step, i'm moving quick but you're always on my heals**_

Just one more breath, i beg you please  
Just one more step, my knees are weak  
My heart is sturdy but it needs you to survive  
My heart is sturdy but it needs you

Breathe, don't you want to breathe  
I know that you are strong enough to handle what i need  
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on  
My body needs a reason to cross that line  
Will you carry me there one more time?

Steady lungs, don't fail me now  
I feel you bursting but you won't let me die  
Fill me up with every step  
I'm feeling sick, but i'm leaving it behind

Just one long breath i beg you please  
Just one more step you are not weak  
My legs are sturdy but they need you to survive  
My heart is sturdy but i need you

Breathe, don't you want to breathe  
And know that you are strong enough to handle what i need  
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on  
My body needs a reason to cross that line  
Will you carry me there once more?

I have reason to believe that i have victories to taste  
I can feel them on my teeth, upon my lips and in my chest  
I can roll them on my tongue, they are more subtle than defeat  
I feel the tension in my lungs and every move is filled by my resolve to

Breathe, don't you want to breathe  
I know that you are strong enough to handle what i need  
My capillaries scream, there's nothing left to feed on  
My body needs a reason to cross that line  
Will you carry me there one more time? 

Peter smacked his cell phone closed. Needless to say, his frustration was mounting. Ned could not find much more on Nancy Baker after her suspected multiple murders. The only other information Ned had come up with was she had been treated in a mental institution before the murders she committed and she had vanished thereafter.

While waiting for Ned's information, a quick conversation with Betty confirmed she was apprehensive about Amber and felt uncomfortable when she visited her in the hospital but no solid details of Amber being behind Betty's attacker were discovered. Unfortunately, too much of the actual attack had been blacked out of Betty's mind.

Peter ran a hand through his hair with a heaving sigh. Could he really be stretching this idea? He barely knew Amber. Perhaps, he was just subconsciously mad at her for wrecking his relationship with MJ beyond repair. No. He blamed himself more than he blamed anyone else. If he had just been strong and stayed away from MJ the first time, she would have not gotten hurt again.

But damn it, MJ was relentless and would not give up! He appreciated that she did not seem to lose faith in him despite how hard he pushed she never gave up. She was stubborn all right, and she really had loved him. And he had kept pushing her away, disregarding her love and trying to save her from him, he had only hurt her and himself. He had certainly destroyed any chance of their love uniting them together.

Part of him hoped he would feel relief that MJ was out of his life. He would no longer have to worry if enemies would find the connection to Peter Parker being Spider-Man and MJ being in his life. He wouldn't have to deny himself the one thing he desired more than anything else, for it was no longer attainable. He wouldn't be tempted by her unyielding attempts to break through the barrier he put between them anymore.

But it wasn't true, at all. Not really. Sure, his brain told him this was exactly what he had been pushing to happen for the past few weeks. But his heart, well that was another story completely. He missed her already. He needed her help, desired her advice. What would she think of Amber being the Widow Maker? He knew she distrusted her but he always felt that was discolored by her own feelings for him. And after tonight, he couldn't blame her for feeling this.

"Oh God, MJ…" he sighed in exasperation. "What do I do…?"

There came no miracle answer to him. MJ did not appear at his door, or ring his cell ready to help him. The silence was driving him nuts! Nothing would come of him moping about or being undecided about his suspicions of Amber.

So he decided to rely on all he had left, Spider-Man. No matter what happened, there would always be Spider-Man. Yeah, he was a bit bitter about that fact. He stripped down to his costume under his clothes and spun around the room searching for his camera bag where his mask would be found.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise seeing a piece of his mask sticking out the Velcro flap of his bag. That was strange. He clearly remembered stuffing the mask at the bottom of his camera after the studio last night. He wondered if Amber had been snooping around whilst he was outside the apartment with MJ.

His suspicions were mounting and he told himself he would be foolish if he didn't at least look into Amber Dieson being Nancy Baker who now called herself the Widow Maker. He slipped on his mask and made a quick exit off the balcony.

Where to start searching for her was what he was trying to figure out.

Not more than a few hours later, his sweep of the city left him clueless. He web swung his way uptown to downtown and through every part of the city. He tried Amber's cell phone numerous times with no answer. He even stopped at the Bugle, donning his normal clothes to do some snooping. He snuck into the employee file room, where any information on the Bugle reporters was held. They even had file information stored on him here. As a freelance photographer, he was required to fill out the basic paperwork needed by the paper. This meant there would be some information on Amber here as well.

He looked around outside the door to make sure no one would see him sneak into the room. He got inside unnoticed and scanned the large filing cabinet against the wall. He stalked over to the cabinet and pulled on the handle to release the drawer labeled A-D. The drawer resisted, locked tight. Peter sighed, using his spider strength to pop the lock easily. The drawer creaked open and he dove into the files, looking for Amber's. There was nothing! He slammed the cabinet in a rage, denting it permanently. He groaned, making a quick exit to the rooftop before anyone found him.

His frustration was mounting and he needed clarity. There was too much going on in his head and he couldn't make heads or tails of what was going on. He searched everywhere he could think of for Amber. There was no place else he could go to find her. He would have to wait for her to come to him.

He stared out at the city below him from the Bugle rooftop. Cars whizzed by hundreds of feet below him and activity went on despite the looming disaster Peter knew of.

Night had fallen on the city and it was growing later. The Widow Maker would make her appearance soon. He would find her then. And he would end this madness tonight.

But, before he could do that, he needed to clear his head of the jumbled mess tumbling about within. He needed to go see MJ and clear the air. If nothing else, he needed to get out what he had to say so his mind could concentrate on the task at hand.

He leapt off the building freefalling into the frigid winter air as the bitter wind blew against the fabric of his thin costume. He was air bound and traveling swiftly towards MJ's hoping she would be there.

He reached her building in short time, but it didn't feel short at all. He didn't have much time now, but he would make the most of it. If she would even see him.

His feet hit her balcony heavily, wanting her to know he was here. The curtains were drawn and it was dark inside. He frowned, thinking she was not home. He reached out to knock on the glass door but the wind picked up and the door blew open and closed, banging against the frame, cracking open again.

He didn't need spider sense for the feeling of dread to overcome him. He pushed open the door, stepping into MJ's bedroom. A crackling sound came from the floor and he looked down, realizing he stepped on broken glass. He shifted away from the glass, seeing the bed lamp upon the floor next. The bulb was shattered, pieces of glass scattered about the floor.

His eyes left the floor to see the tousled bed sheets, ripped and torn. His heart went into a panicked pace he wasn't sure his body could tolerate for long. He wouldn't allow his mind to dare touch the thoughts of what could have happened to MJ. If someone touched her…

Everything went red and he balled his fists so tightly, the circulation cut off, causing his hands to go numb. The overwhelming fury churned inside so rapidly, he felt dizzy and his balance wavered momentarily. He closed his eyes in attempt to keep his emotion in check.

He opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings again. The room was otherwise untouched, the only signs of a struggle being the bed and lamp. He breathed deep, his chest heaving with each breath. He let out a breath, which nearly turned into a sob. Another breath came out with a rumble, and finally a roar resonated from his throat.

Amber.

She went after MJ to get revenge on him. Amber went after MJ because he rejected her. She knew MJ loved him and no matter how he tried to hide it, Amber knew he loved MJ too. There was no cloud of doubt in his mind now. Amber had to be the Widow Maker. There was no time to doubt himself and no time to be wrong. MJ's life was on the line and it was his fault. His worst nightmares were coming true.

He wasted no more time in self-pity. He jumped out the bedroom onto the balcony and right off the ledge.

Think, Parker. Where would she take her? Would she have already killed her? No, she would be baiting him as others had done already. Goblin… The bridge… MJ's fall… He closed his eyes, as the visions played out before him. Then his eyes popped open. He had to concentrate! He zip lined to a tall building, feet landing on the gravel turf of the rooftop. He stopped a moment searching the city skyline in hopes the answer to where Widow and MJ would appear. The hours were growing later and the morning would be here soon.

Peter whipped out his cell, desperate. He dialed Amber's number praying the psycho woman would answer his call this time. He waited and the phone rang and rang. When he thought no answer would come, the line finally clicked and a heavy breath answered.

"Amber?"

"We don't answer to that name," came the muffled reply.

We? he thought. Oh great, she is freaking loopy! "Widow…"

She chuckled with delight. "We were wondering when you would call us."

"What did you do with Mary Jane?" he growled with malice lacing his tone.

More laughter. "Come to where all the spiders play. See for yourself."

Peter growled with feral rage. "Answer me!"

"You made the game, now let's see you play along,"

Then there was a click.

The time of the call flashed on his phone and Peter howled with vexation. He has no idea what her riddles meant! He was too distracted by his fear for Mary Jane. Everything he fought to protect, everything he gave up to see this never happen again was useless! She was gone and he had no idea how to find her!

_Where the spiders play… You made the game, now let us see you play along…_

What did it mean? Think Peter! Remember, damn it!

It had to do with their mini battle the other night… It was the only time they had come face to face. Think… damn it, think hard! What had he said to her? Ugh! He could not concentrate! His fear of what could happen to MJ had his mind paralyzed. He would die if something happened to her. He had to clear his mind and think or he would never find her. He squeezed his eyes shut and battled to force the images away.

It came on him like lightning striking then.

When he had interrupted Widow Maker that night he had said, "So this is where the spiders gather to play?"

The alley where they fought.

It was so simple! If he hadn't been so panicked about Mary Jane being hurt, he would have thought of it sooner. They had to be there! Peter leapt off the building carelessly and swung into the overnight sky.

He arrived on the same rooftop he watched Widow from the other night. He immediately scanned the area looking for signs of MJ or Widow. The alley was empty. "Damn it!" he cursed, slamming his fist on the edge of the rooftop.

He wasn't going to give up so easily though. He leapt down into the alleyway and searched the area. His spider sense vibrated lightly in the back of his head. They were close by.

He looked around more closely. There was an apartment building on his left and the building he had leapt from was abandoned. He wasted no time, leaping into the air and breaking through the abandoned window feet first. The glass shattered all around him and he landed in the center of a dark room. His spider sense increased and he looked around hoping to find the trigger.

The room was empty. He looked for the doorway, which led to the next room. He zipped to the ceiling, crawled across to the doorway, and inspected the next room. There were papers trashed around the floor. Broken down generators and mechanical equipment lined the walls. Nothing here either. He crawled into the room and surveyed where he should search next.

An annoyed scream of "Let me go!" echoed through the abandoned building.

MJ's voice made Peter nearly loose his grip on the ceiling. She was alive! He quickly made his way to the direction he heard her voice come from. Another trashed room came into view. This one had broken furniture, cracked walls and a few more generators, but these hummed softly inside the room. A few florescent lights lined the ceiling in here, obviously powered by the generators in the room.

Peter inspected this all from the ceiling near the door. He sighed in relief at the sight of MJ, despite the trouble she was in. She was tied up to a pole on one of the generators and she struggled to break loose. She seemed unhurt and angry for being bound by her wrists and ankles.

The hum of his spider sense was still dull which told him Widow Maker was not present in the room yet. He wasted no time in his actions. He had to get MJ out of there while the timing was right. Any spike from his spider sense could mean Widow Maker would be nearby and in attack range. He reached out his arm and nailed a web line onto the ceiling of the room, inches from MJ's position on the ground.

He swung in a flash and the surprise on MJ's face barely registered by the time he landed on his feet in front of her. His heart leapt with joy as he was greeted with a surprised smile.

MJ didn't allow her heart to register the relief it felt at the sight of Peter any further than inside the confines of those battered walls. She would not allow herself to delve into the thoughts of what she would do without him. There was no time for such trivial matters at the moment. However, she could not help but allow the smile to reach her lips. Relief that she was not going to die and that despite their ruined friendship, Peter was still here to save her. "Boy am I glad to see you." she allowed.

Peter was in action immediately, untying her ankles first. Then he untied her hands that were bound behind her back around a piece of the generator. He was scant inches from her face as he looked at her through those opaque slots. "I thought you never wanted to see me again, Mary Jane." he said in a teasing, flirtatious tone. His relief over her safety allowed his witty side to take over.

She turned her head to look back at him and she had just a moment to feel indignation at his remark. She gave a half-felt wry grin at the dry humor of Spider-Man. How it ever went untainted! She had no remark in return for him; she only wanted freedom. Her wrists were starting to burn in pain from her trying to wriggle free. The heat radiating off the generator had made it quite uncomfortable too. She could feel small beads of sweat dripping down her forehead.

He pulled her bindings free. He searched the room, trying to find a quick way out. The room left no escape route except for through the door and to the room leading to where he broke in through the window. He turned back to MJ and gripped her by the shoulders. "Listen carefully. I want you to run as fast as you can through that doorway. In the next room there is a door leading to a room with a window to the outside. Get through and get out of here before she gets back."

"What about you?" MJ rubbed her wrists, wincing at the sensitive skin that caused the pain.

"I'm going to end this before anyone else gets hurt," Peter answered, feeling his spider sense grow stronger. "Hurry!"

MJ didn't move at first, staring at him, frustrated she couldn't see through to his real eyes behind the mask. She feared leaving him.

"MJ, go! Get out of here!" he demanded a bit more harshly than he realized.

MJ's face became a mask of frustrated anger and she gave him one final look displaying those emotions before she rushed off in the direction he told her.

Spider sense went off like a trip hammer in his head.

"Mary Jane!" Peter screamed loudly, seeing the black clad figure appear from out of nowhere and gripped MJ by her throat instantly as she neared the doorway.

Widow Maker laughed at Spider-Man's foolishness.

"Spider-Man!" MJ struggled to scream as Widow Maker's strong grasp crushed her throat.

"Let her go Widow!" Spider-Man demanded, his voice deep and laced with hate.

Widow chuckled as she spun the redhead in her arms, so she clutched her against herself, her arm wrapped around her neck and the needle-like nails from her other hand were pressed against the flesh of MJ's throat around her jugular. "Oh come on! We're all friends here, let's not be formal with names, right Peter?"

MJ struggled in her grasp, but stopped as she felt the pinch of her flesh breaking as some of the nails pierced her flesh. She flinched in pain and stopped her struggle. She could feel the trickle of blood travel down her neck and she squeezed her eyes shut to the pain.

"Right, Widow. Or would you prefer Amber?" Spidey growled, balling his fists at the sight of MJ's blood. Just scratches. The nails were not through her skin. "How about Nancy?" he hissed.

Widow seized movement and she stiffened at the name Spider-Man called her. Nancy… Weak, abused, raped and beaten Nancy Baker. A woman so broken and used no man would ever want her. Her hands began to shake and she was sure she would break down and scream in pain at the memories. But the darkness inside forced her on, forced her to be strong.

All the same, Spidey got her defenses down momentarily and he took advantage of that moment. He shot a web line at Widow's hand and forcefully snapped the line back, forcing her weapons away from MJ.

MJ collapsed to her knees. She quickly got to her feet and scurried away from Widow, bracing herself up against the wall. Her breaths came in whooshes of air as she attempted to control the fear inside her. A hand went instinctively to her neck and she felt the small scratches where her skin was punctured. A small amount of blood was on her fingertips but it seemed less serious than she had imagined it to be. She wasted no further concentration on her own condition as she saw the Widow Maker fly across the room into a wall at the end of the line Peter used to snap her into the shambled sheet rock.

Pieces of the wall crumbled under the pressure of the force, burying the Widow Maker underneath.

It only slowed her momentarily as she got to her feet and laughed at Spider-Man insanely. "Your abuse pales in comparison to all we have survived. Just like every man that has hurt us before Peter Parker, you shall pay!" she ripped the webbing away with her claws. She glared at him with those black eyes under her mask. "You denied Amber love and now you are no longer able to escape our wrath. She tried to spare you, but you clear affection for the redhead will be your undoing. We told her to destroy you but she thought you could change her."

"It's not too late to change. You can fight this!" Spidey circled as Widow advanced on him. He blocked a few easy kicks as she snarled at him.

"There is nothing to fight! We are one! You cannot fight what you are. We have been gifted with the powers to destroy!" she growled, taking a few swings at him with her claws.

He dodged around them, not striking back. He was trying to get through to her. He was hoping somewhere inside Amber or Nancy would fight off what had become of her. "Why the venom?"

"It is what we are! We are the Black Widow Spider!" she answered in annoyance of repeat conversation.

"How did this happen to you?" his scientific mind yearned for answers and to keep her talking in hopes of distracting her.

She stopped and stood still. Her blood red smile glimmered in the fluorescent light. "Magic."

Peter didn't know whether to believe her or not. She was out of her mind and his science refused to believe such a thing was possible. Of course, if there were mutated spiders that could give him super human powers why couldn't there be some form of magic to give Widow her own powers. He ducked as she leapt at him. It didn't matter. All that mattered was how he was going to stop her.

She tumbled into the ground shoulder first. She relentlessly got back to her feet, stumbling a bit. She was getting tired and frustrated. "You can't stop me. All must pay for the hurt. Peter, you are bad. Just like them! You hurt! I thought you were different. How wrong…" she tsked, shaking her head.

"I didn't mean to hurt you… I am sorry you have been so hurt. You can stop this though. There is no resolution to revenge! Don't you see, Widow? How many have you killed; how many have paid for your taste for revenge? But the pain you feel doesn't go away, it doesn't get better! Revenge is not the answer."

"How noble," she answered in a raspy tone. She managed to get close enough to land a good thrust of her fist into his ribs. "But it still feels so good!" she chuckled as he writhed in pain. "There is no other way."

"Peter!" MJ cried in fear as Widow got the advantage on him and was sending a barrage of kicks and punches into him until he was on his back.

Widow turned at MJ's cry and laughed in delight. "Your pain is like power. Suffer!" she told the redhead with a possessed hatred.

Spidey kicked out his leg, catching both of hers and she went into the air, landing on her back. He leapt to his feet as Widow got to hers. There was no getting through to her. She was lost to whatever gave her this power and unquenched thirst for revenge. He knew she had suffered, but she had taken innocent lives along with the lives of the criminals she had killed along the way. She tried to kill Betty, tried to kill him and now she had attempted to do the one thing he would not tolerate more than an attempt on his own life; she threatened and tried to kill MJ. "Enough, Widow. Your terror is about to come to an end."

Widow caught his eyes and stared back at him as they stared each other down. "You survived my poison once Spider-Man. I won't make the same mistake again. I will fill your filthy body with so much poison; the venom will run from your lips! I will rip your flesh apart until there is nothing left but the strands of your being and then I will pump just enough venom into the redhead's heart to kill her slow enough to wallow in the remains of your battered corpse. You will learn it is not nice to hurt me!" she cried, leaping at him.

Peter knocked away her attack, and this time he attacked back as they exchanged powerful blows. He flinched as her claws tore through some of his costume into his flesh on his right bicep. He ignored the pain, continuing to trade blows. He landed a punch on her jaw, rattling the bones and her mask dropped to the ground. He stepped back, shaken by her grotesque and maimed face. The veins in her face pulsed green. The poison really was inside of her!

Widow took advantage of his stunned state and sent a spin kick into his groin.

He went down immediately and she towered over him once again as she had the other night.

Some of the venom dripped onto his costume from her claws. She raised both her hands, ready to strike. "You may have survived once but there is no way even your body can handle this much!" she dove at him ready to drive both sets of claws into his chest.

MJ appeared behind her, pulling at her shoulder. As her gruesome face came into view, MJ cocked her hand back and sent a full forced fist into Widow's previously rattled jaw. Her bones connected with her jaw and she felt a sting of pain on contact but it was enough to distract her from killing Peter.

Widow turned back to MJ after the force of her blow forced her face in the other direction. She tasted blood on her lips and it ignited her fury further. She batted MJ away with one strong swipe. She knocked her across the room and MJ's head bounced off the concrete.

Spidey got to his feet while Widow had been distracted and he gripped the woman by the arm after she threw MJ across the room. He threw his knee into her gut, and then landed a punch to her ribs.

Widow fought back and they struggled for control of the fight across the room. Her hands were trapped in his strong grasp and she pushed against him trying to break free. She slammed him into one of the generator's and he groaned in pain. She raised her hands higher; feeling the prime opportunity to ram her claws into his flesh was now.

Spidey let go of her wrists and his spider sense flared sharply like a firecracker exploding. He leapt into the air over her head and landed on the other side of her as she advanced forward. Her claws jammed right through the metal generator box and sparks immediately shot off. The lights flickered on and off as the juice running through the box was set free and shocked Widow's body with thousands of watts of electricity.

The sickening scream she let out as her body shook and smoked was terrible. Her screams became wails of pain and horror.

Peter watched in shock as her body finally fell limply to the ground as the lights fell dark and the power was finally drained. Her body was still and her eyes stared back up at him lifelessly. The smell of charred flesh reached his nose and he fought the urge to vomit. He frowned, wishing another life did not have to be lost. He was glad that it was finally over, but at such an expense? He did not want it to end like this. He wanted to help her.

"Peter?" MJ's meek voice filled the dark room.

He turned over his shoulder to find her lying on the floor still. He rushed over to her, Amber's body forgotten. He kneeled beside her, helping her sit up slowly. "Are you ok?"

She nodded gently, and then moaned in pain. "My head."

"We should get you to a hospital," he examined her closer, inspecting the small wounds at her neck.

"I'm ok. Just a few bumps, no need," MJ waved off the idea. "Is she dead?"

He nodded solemnly. "I tried to help her."

MJ felt tears well up at his voice. He was filled with such sorrow. A life had been lost, no matter how evil or confused she was, the loss of Amber's life left Peter wracked with guilt. "At least, she is not in pain anymore. And she can't hurt anyone else."

Peter nodded, feeling very little consolation from that. He pulled out his cell phone and called the police to report the Widow anonymously. He hung up once the information was passed on. "Police should be here soon." he informed as he sat back down beside her. He brushed back some of MJ's hair from her face. He wiped away a smudge of dirt from her cheek. "I'm glad you're ok. I would sooner die than see you hurt."

MJ felt the tears spill as his admission of his concern for her. She bowed her head and her shoulders shook as the tears came on more powerful now. She let out a sob and before she could contemplate it further, she threw herself at him wrapping her arms around his neck. She buried her face into his masked neck.

Peter was too shocked to do anything else but envelop her and held her as she cried. He squeezed her tightly; glad she was in his arms and away from danger. He held her a moment longer than realization dawned on him. She would always be in danger so long as she was a part of his life. He closed his eyes tightly and would allow himself a brief time for one more tight hug and one last scent of her perfumed hair. Then he pulled her at arm's length and prepared himself.

MJ studied him, unable to read his reaction with that damn mask on. She cocked her head to the side, sniffling, as he seemed to be staring at her. "Peter?"

"We need to get out of here." he helped her up as he could hear sirens in the faint background. He led her to the exit of the building and he lifted her into his arms, quickly leaping into the night.


	28. The Hero In Hiding

-1**_It Ends Tonight- All American Rejects_**

_**Your subtleties  
They strangle me  
I can't explain myself at all.  
And all the wants  
And all the needs  
All I don't want to need at all.**_

The walls start breathing  
My mind's unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.  
A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight.

A falling star  
Least I fall alone.  
I can't explain what you can't explain.  
You're finding things that you didn't know  
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing  
My mind's unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.  
A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side  
It's better than being on your side  
It's my fault when you're blind  
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside  
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight,  
It ends

When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.

Tonight  
Insight  
When darkness turns to light,  
It ends tonight.

He took her back to her apartment and once he was sure there was no sign of Gina, he set her safely down on her balcony.

"Looks like I left the door open in a rush. You might want to go turn on the heat and close this door…" he offered, buying some time to face this.

MJ nodded mutely, doing as instructed. She even stopped to pick up the glass and place the broken lamp in her trash bin. She flipped on the overhead light and grabbed a sweater to wear. She walked out onto the balcony to meet him again.

His back was to her as he leaned on the railing looking out into the city. The sun was rising slowly in the distance, casting a cold blue-orange hue on the city. She waited for him to face her, afraid. She shivered, but it wasn't the cold that made her shake.

Finally, he stood in front of her, his hands lingering on her shoulders for just a moment before he removed them.

"MJ, I think it's time," he sighed, his voice shaking.

"Time for what?" she squeaked, not liking the sound of this.

"Time for us to say goodbye," he informed, his voice cracking unable to keep the emotion hidden.

"Goodbye?" MJ whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek anew. "You mean goodnight?" she felt her stomach toss violently. "I know I was mad earlier-"

"And you were right. I hurt you. I never wanted that to happen. And I'm not going to let that happen again," he stood straighter, looking for some resolve somewhere deep inside of him.

"So you don't think this will hurt me even more?" MJ could not believe he was actually pushing her away. Again!

"I'm not saying it won't. But, this is better than you being in danger all the time. This is worth you not losing your life because of Spider-Man," he told her.

MJ shook a little more, now feeling the cold air of the dawn she had not felt earlier, not even as they web slung here. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to dissipate the cold. She told herself not to fall apart, but she wasn't going to give up without one more fight. "I'm willing to risk a thousand more nights like tonight to be with you." Her heart pounded heavily as she wondered how true that really was. After all the times he denied her, did she really still want this?

"And I'm willing to risk a thousand more nights without your love to protect you and keep you safe and alive," he answered back, a sharp tone taking over. He hated every word that he spoke, and would hate himself forever for this. But, he would hate himself even more if she suffered the same fate as Uncle Ben did because of his recklessness.

MJ's broken heart somehow broke even more. She thought it was impossible to feel this much pain. Her sobs broke the silence and she felt her face throb with the intense heat as her body reacted to his words. "You can't mean that."

"I'm sorry, Mary Jane. I'm not someone you can give your heart and love to. Someone else will just have to be the luckiest man on earth to have your love. I can't change what I am. Spider-Man will always have enemies. I can't have you in my life anymore. Please understand." he couldn't believe his own voice. It took every ounce of strength to keep his voice steadfast and keep his decision from wavering.

Mary Jane broke as he rejected her all over again. She was tired of pleading, tired of laying it all on the line and he couldn't meet her half way. She had to come to terms with it. Peter Parker was just another man. Another man who hurt her more than any other man could possibly ever hurt her.

She turned away from him with her hand on her balcony door. She was reminded of how he had come back into her life a few weeks ago on this very balcony in his Spider-Man disguise. It was bittersweet that he would leave her once again in this very way. She turned her head to look over her shoulder at him. A huff broke the silence as she finally realized he hadn't the decency to face her eye to eye, his mask was still adorned. Or he knew if he faced her, really looked into her eyes, he couldn't escape the truth. "I understand, Peter. You're not who I thought you are. You're a coward who would rather deny everything you want and live alone than take a chance and be happy." She raised her chin, trying to remain strong. She even managed a crack of her famed fake smile. "See ya around, tiger." She turned back and opened the door, sliding inside, locking the door behind her. She pulled the shade and buried her head against the door, a hand covering her mouth to muffle her loud sobs until she knew he had left.

Peter stood there in complete shock, having a hard time believing she really walked away from him this time without a struggle. He let out his own sob as tears welled up in his eyes. She was right. He couldn't even face her. He was such a coward. He kept running from her and pushing her away and now she was gone for good. Nothing would ever hurt him more than this. That fake smile she forced on him burned his mind's eye. He would never forget how she shut him out of her real emotions so easily. But he got what he asked for, right? MJ was safe and she wouldn't be in danger again. It was over.

He only allowed himself a brief moment to be upset. He would miss her beyond words. His fingertips reached out to touch the glass of her balcony doors. They lingered there, sliding down the glass slowly.

He shivered and let irony smack him hard across the face remembering weeks ago when he found her pressed against the other side of this glass, heartbroken and alone. He was so moved by her heartache that he had set this whole thing in motion again. If only he had stayed away, he wouldn't know now more than ever what he was giving up and wind up hurting her even more. He felt the wetness of tears under his mask and a small sob choked him as he lifted his mask over his nose, wiping the wetness from his face.

MJ watched him, peering through the curtain on the other side of the glass that separated them. Her hand touched the glass where Peter's fingers were resting, not moving them until his slid down the glass and she mimicked his motion, touching her forehead to the cool glass after she watched him wipe the tears from his face. She closed her eyes, unable to watch anymore.

He replaced his mask, turning away to leap onto the railing. He took a shaky breath. Then he leapt into the dawning skyline of the city that controlled his whole life because of a debt he felt would never be settled. He had a responsibility to uphold and he would see to it at any cost. Even his own happiness.

MJ wept uncontrollably, collapsing on her bed among the shambles of her earlier attack. She cried long and hard, feeling defeated and alone.


	29. The Star of the Show

_**Beautiful Disaster- Kelly Clarkson**_

_**He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
And more heaven than a heart could hold  
And if I try to save him  
My whole world could cave in  
It just ain't right  
It just ain't right**_

Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what is after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see  
And do I try to change him?  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight  
Hold on tight

Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what is after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical  
But he's only happy hysterical  
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle  
Waited so long  
So long

He's soft to the touch  
But frayed at the end he breaks  
He's never enough  
And still he's more than I can take

Oh 'cause I don't know  
I don't know what is after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster

Fading  
Beautiful  
(Beautiful disaster)  
Beautiful disaster 

There was a moment when the world had faded to black and the exhaustion of her mental and perhaps even physical anguish had taken hold, forcing her to sleep. She wasn't sure for how long it was or even when exactly it had happened. There was silence when she awoke forcing her heavy eyelids to open. She rubbed at them, feeling the sting crying had caused.

She sat up slowly, eyeing the room. Had everything that happened been real? She couldn't piece together all her thoughts right away and it took her minutes to realize it had all been real, horribly real.

She tossed her covers aside, fighting the urge to collapse back into bed and hide from the world. She had a shift at the diner this afternoon- barring she had not slept through it already. Her eyes found the clock and she confirmed her suspicion. It was well into the late afternoon. She groaned, running a hand through her tousled hair. She was so fired.

Things couldn't get much worse for her. She heaved a heavy sigh and opened the door to her room, walking out in the living room. The quiet filling the apartment told her Gina was either asleep or working. More than likely, she was working as always.

She shuffled over to the table where the answering machine rested. The machine flashed the number five, letting her know there were five messages. She was sure they were all from an enraged Enrique. She smacked the button; sure nothing more could ruin her life or make it any more miserable.

The machine beeped loudly, stating the time and date of the first message.

MJ groaned, leaning her head against the wall. It was New Year's Eve.

"Miss Watson, where are you? Your shift started fifteen minutes ago. Excuse me for interrupting your busy Hollywood schedule but it is New Year's Eve and it is busy!! Get here now!" Enrique's accented angry tone grumbled into the phone.

Then there was another beep and MJ was about to erase it assuming it was another message from Enrique but the sound of a woman's voice stopped her. It was Zolandra's voice.

"Mary Jane! Are you trying to give me heart failure? Where are you? Why are you not answering my phone calls? I have been calling since last night! Will you please call me back? I made some plans and…" Zoey's voice paused. "Crud… Call you back! Call me!"

MJ pounded her head against the wall in protest and the moaned in pain. She was so dead.

The machine beeped again.

"Miss Watson. You officially have one hour to show up for your shift or you are toast!" Enrique shouted so loud it left an irritating ringing sound even after he hung up.

Then came the tell tale phone call, exactly an hour later.

"You are fired, Miss Watson! And don't even think about coming down here groveling for your job back! And don't even think of asking for any references Miss I Think I'm Going to Broadway! Marissa get that table now, double time now, go, go!! And one more thing darlin' if you want your last paycheck you better bring back your uniform or you're not getting paid!" Enrique shouted into the phone in a fit of his usual uncontrolled, rage.

MJ sighed, defeated. The job sucked and Enrique was unbearable but she needed the money and the flexible schedule. Maybe if she told him she was attacked last night and begged enough, he would let her work again.

Even as she continued to think of excuses to tell Enrique the machine played the next message, one for Gina. Then the final message played and it was Zoey again.

"Mary Jane. I am on my way to your apartment. You better be up and dressed when I get there. We don't have much time. I hope you have your luggage at the ready! I kept waiting to tell you, but if you don't leave by tonight, everything is ruined! You're going to LA! As in Los Angeles, California! I got you a part in a soap opera! Get ready girl! The cameras are going to be on you soon enough! Details when I see you. Kiss, kiss!" Zoey rambled on excitedly before hanging up.

MJ stared at the machine in shock, uncertain she heard what she heard. LA? Soap opera? Her?

Her heart started moving in double time and she felt sick to her stomach. This was happening to her! She was going to be on T.V.! Her excitement was making it hard to control the nauseating feeling in her stomach. Sure, it wasn't Broadway, but it was an acting gig and many soap stars went on to become great actors and actresses. But what about her obligation to Emma Rose now? And she hadn't tried out for a soap opera since last year. What was going on? Her head was spinning and she had to sit to make the room stop circulating.

There came a pounding next and she rubbed her temples in an attempt to make the pain go away. However, the pounding grew more rapid and louder. It was then she realized it was the front door. She got up and answered it numbly as Zoey rushed in, a ball of energy.

"Thank God! I was beginning to think you disappeared off the face of the earth! Do you not answer your messages? I am trying to hook you up with this great opportunity here, MJ. It sometimes requires responses you know? I surely hope you want to go to LA because I already committed you to the part. It's a small part, but no walk on. You'll finally get your hat in the ring," then she spun around and stopped in the middle of her words as her eyes finally fell on MJ. "My word… Mary Jane… what happened to you? Are you all right, dear?"

MJ closed the door, then gave Zoey a halfhearted smile. "Nothing, I'm okay."

"Yeah and I'm Julia Roberts," Zoey snorted, reaching out to touch the marks on MJ's neck. "Were you attacked, dear?"

MJ remembered the marks made by Widow Maker's claws and she tensed up. "Yeah… Yes… on my way home from work last night. Sorry I haven't called you back. It's just been-"

"Not to worry, dear. But, will you be up to travel? It's now or never. They need someone for this part as of next week. Filming is done for the next few days for the New Year, but you need to rehearse and learn your part, run your lines…" Zoey went off again in a burst.

"Zoey, I don't understand. Hold on a second. How did I even get the part? I didn't try out for any soap opera. I don't have enough money to fly to LA or a place to live. Isn't this all sudden? What about Emma Rose? Don't I have a commitment to honor?" MJ wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly confused and a bit frightened by what was happening to her life.

Zoey chuckled, then cooed, taking MJ's hands into hers. "Oh darling, I thought you were ready for this? Innocent Mary Jane, this is the life of an actress, be ready or run for your life. Don't worry about money or a place to live. The soap is going to fly you out and board you in one of LA's finest hotels! If everything works out you can take up residence nearby if you choose to stay in LA or your contract extends. You're signed on for the next three months to play a charming, innocent young woman on Secret Hospital! Albeit not the classiest of soaps, I know, but it is a start! And as for Emma Rose, they loved you so much; they're willing to follow you to LA to do the photo shoot. As a matter of fact, Roxanne Chambers, head of Emma Rose, thought it was a great idea to shoot in LA on the beaches, sun and surf, tan bodies…"

"I'm as pale as a ghost Zoey," MJ interrupted.

"Not to worry, that's why they invented the tanning bed, darling. The life of a soap actress is filled with pros. I bet they even have a bed on set. Anyway, Emma Rose will work out a schedule with Secret Hospital to do their thing. Don't you worry your pretty little head about any of the details. That's why you have an agent!" Zoey bounced in place. "And I will be with you every step of the way. I'll be in LA with you for the first few weeks, help you get settled and make sure all is well. Then I will fly back out with Emma Rose when the photo shoots begin."

"But, you still haven't explained how I got the part on the soap?" MJ couldn't help but smile, sinking onto the arm of her couch, completely flabbergasted.

"Your picture's been out there for months now, MJ. I faxed over the pictures you gave me the other day once they expressed some interest in you. And, I know, I know… you said you won't sign on to anything that only picks you based off of looks, which was why I sent out some of your work. They loved the tape we made of the rehearsal for that part in Elmo Cartigan's play, 'Hearts to Roses'. You were just what they wanted, a fresh young face with talent. So stop questioning why this happened! You're extremely talented and vibrant, MJ. Although, you look like death right now, no offense…" she grinned. "Nothing a little touch up make up can't fix!" she squeezed MJ's hands, genuinely happy. "All your dreams are coming true MJ, you just have to wake up and let them happen!"

She smiled in return, allowing the truth to sink in. Her dreams were coming true, just not all of them…

The morning paper's headlines read: Black Widow Killer Dead

Peter clenched the paper in his hand tightly as he sipped his third cup of coffee. He scanned the vague picture splashed on the front page. It was of the abandoned building he fought Widow Maker in, ambulances and cop cars in the background and cops at work on the scene. The credit for the picture was to Eddie Brock, with more pictures on page five. He flipped open to page five; looking at the pictures Eddie took on the scene. Some were of the building, some were of the cops and there was one of paramedics putting the Widow's body into the ambulance. There was one final picture of Widow Maker that he took himself the night she almost killed him.

He had not taken any pictures of his own last night. His fear for MJ was his only concern and he had not set up his camera. Even if he had, he was too close to the situation. His sorrow for her death and his part in it made selling pictures of their brawl seem distasteful and wrong. Amber had problems and she needed help, and even though he knew he tried, he still felt responsible. As he had also felt with Norman's death. Though, neither of their deaths were directly his fault, he was still a part of it.

He flipped back to the main page to read the article the byline said was by Ned Leeds. They ran tests on the body using dental files to discover it was Nancy Baker. Her body was too badly marred and burned not only from the electrocution she received but from the broken veins filled with black widow venom to identify. Ned went on to uncover how Nancy was responsible for the murder of others in the years past and how after all that she changed her name to Amber Dieson. Surprisingly enough, he even mentioned her brief work at the Bugle. Peter surmised Jonah would rather have it out there than dug up by another paper and used for exploiting the Bugle for hiring criminals. Betty's attack was mentioned and the countless murders Amber had committed in the past few weeks. Ned went on to explain what he could about the venom, about how she used needle-like claws to jab through the skin and release the venom. But there was not much anyone could say about how she sustained the venom inside of her or why it had not poisoned her own body and killed her. All he could write was pending autopsy they were clueless. He concluded with the thoughts that if there was such a thing as Spider-Man or a Green Goblin or a giant Rhino, why not a woman who was really a Black Widow spider, filled with poisonous venom.

Pete supposed that was as good as an answer as the public would ever get. He was sure the real answer to Widow's resistance to the poison being magic or black magic was not going to be acceptable to the public. But there would be no one to give this explanation in any case. So, it was likely, the reasons would go unanswered, chalked up to the same unanswered questions about his alter ego and the fore mentioned.

A small column boxed in the corner on page five was written by J. Jonah Jameson. Peter groaned in frustration as he began to read it. Jonah went on about how this Widow Maker was probably related to Spider-Man and how they had been spotted together and that he was no better than she turned out to be.

Peter tossed the paper onto the counter in anger, refusing to read on. "Way to go, Jonah. Always find a way to knock Spider-Man down. Always a bad guy never the hero." he grumbled, finishing off his cup of coffee.

He was tired beyond words. His body ached all over. His head was pounding in protest. And his heart was in the worst shape of all. Every cup of coffee made him about five percent less tired than he was the cup before. He'd slept fitfully for about four hours before he had given up. He paced and thought and paced a bit more. Was he right in the decisions he'd made? Should he have banished MJ from his life? Could he really handle never seeing her again?

He ran a hand through his short hair and groaned in anguish. He was torturing himself going back and forth with his decision. He missed her already and he longed to pick up the phone and make sure she was doing all right. She was like a toxic drug to him. He needed to have her in his life. Cutting her out completely was like going to be next to impossible. But, he would just have to find a way.

And what better time to start than with a new year on the horizon. He flashed back to the conversation he and MJ had just days ago about what his new year's resolution would be. Back then, he dared to hope he could find a way for them to be together. He even allowed himself to be around her, and forget his reasons for keeping her at arm's length. All it took was knowing even for just for one second, that he was responsible for her life being put in danger, once again. That's what it had come down to in the end. No matter how much he wanted her, and she him, there was nothing he would not do to keep her safe. If it meant hurting her, it would be worth her being safe.

Besides, how long could she possibly be upset with his decision? It was not as if they were ever a real couple. She would find someone new, someone more deserving of her love and attention. He couldn't possibly be the only person who could make her happy. Heck, he wasn't even sure he could. MJ had always been this unattainable dream; someone he treasured and envisioned as a person on the highest level, forever remaining out of his reach and out of his class. He would just take away from that. He would taint her with his less than perfect life. He had nothing to offer her; he was simply just unworthy of Mary Jane Watson. Many things had changed for him over the years, but that was one thing that remained the same, he was just no good for her. Whether he was nerdy, scrawny, Peter Parker or the man who led two lives, both completely out of his control and one part extremely dangerous to him and those around him. If it meant pushing her away and treating her the way he had last night, than so be it. The sooner she realized that too, the better she would be for it.

"Zoey, how am I supposed to pack up my whole life in a few short hours? Especially with you hounding me over my shoulder?" MJ sighed, exasperated. She tossed some of her shirts into a large suitcase on her bed.

"MJ, I told you to just pack what you need for now. We will send someone from the office to gather the rest of your belonging and put them in storage. How much stuff can you possibly need?" Zoey called from the bathroom, helping her pack her belongings.

"Loaded question," MJ snorted, allowing herself to grin a little. Her life was changing like a whirlwind tornado just picked her up and hadn't dropped down on the world yet. She was afraid if she stopped to think about it, she may not know what to do. She couldn't help to wonder what Peter would think of all this. She fought with herself to call him and share the news, but he had made it quite clear that they couldn't even be friends any longer.

"Oh, don't worry about your roommate. I cut her a check from the office to cover this month and next month's rent. That should give her plenty of time to find a new roommate," Zoey came out of the bathroom with a smaller suitcase full of products.

MJ smiled at Zoey, glad now more than ever she had someone watching her back. Someone she could trust and would never take advantage of naivety. "Thank you so much, Zoey. What would I do without you?" she leaned over and hugged the dark haired, woman. She squeezed her eyes shut, blinking back tears. She suddenly became so emotional. The roller coaster of emotions she'd been riding for the past few hours was beginning to catch up to her.

"Hey, hey… easy there darling!" Zoey pulled her away, searching her face. "MJ, are you sure you're all right? Look at you, you're crying. What's wrong dear?"

MJ wiped at her eyes, gritting her teeth together. She was determined not to cry any further. She sighed, giving Zoey a steady smile. "Nothing, it's just a little nerve wracking, you know? What if I blow it? I'm just nervous. I have to say goodbye to everything here. It's all a little scary."

Zoey rubbed her shoulder caringly. "Well, don't you worry. I will be with you every step of the way. You are not going to blow it; you are going to blow them away! It's ok to be scared, use that fear and turn it into something productive. Okay? On our way to the airport we can make a few stops and say goodbye to your family. Queens is on the way to JFK anyway. It'll be fine. We just have to hurry up a bit here." Zoey checked her watch.

MJ looked across the room at the clock. The time read: 6:56pm "What time is our flight?"

"I got the last flight out, had to pull some strings at that. We lift off twenty five minutes after midnight. Just enough time to celebrate one last New Year's Eve in the city. I promised my beau I wouldn't miss it. He's the sentimental kind. Trying to hang on to him, his type hard to come by, if you know what I mean," Zoey chuckled, elbowing MJ in a teasing manner.

MJ gave an expected smile, although she didn't feel like smiling at all. While she was happy Zoey would have time to say goodbye to her boyfriend and ring in the New Year with him, she couldn't help but feel envious, and a bit angry. Though, the anger was directed towards a certain wall crawling jerk. She couldn't wait to get out of NY and as far away from Peter Parker as she could.

Maybe then, she could finally get past his rejection and move on with her life. A fresh start in a new place, finally doing what she longed to do. Sure, it wasn't her ideal job, but as Zoey said, she has to start somewhere.

She turned, packing more clothes into her suitcase. "I can't wait to get to LA. It's going to be great." she said aloud in a convincing tone. She turned back to Zoey. "I just have one stop we have to make on the way."

Time was running low on MJ when the car Zoey rented pulled up to the street corner. She promised Zoey to be only a few minutes, slamming the door behind her. She rushed up to the door, peering inside. She knocked on the window, getting the attention of one of the occupants.

She got off the steps and waited on the walkway, rubbing her arms to keep warm. She turned when the door closed behind her. She smiled, going to hug her mother. "Hey Mom!"

"MJ, what's all the hubbub about?" she hugged her daughter quickly.

"I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving New York for awhile. I got a part in a soap opera in LA!" MJ smiled, hoping her mother was proud.

"Honey, that is great! Wonderful news!" she grinned proudly. She turned around, looking in the window to make sure her husband was still fast asleep. "When do you leave?"

"Tonight. Now, right away, actually," MJ brushed some of her hair behind her ear nervously. What if her mom thought it was a bad idea? What if she needed her to stay?

"Oh, wow," she replied, shocked. She quickly smiled and touched her daughter's shoulder. "That's terrific, Mary Jane. I am so proud of you. Send me postcards, all right?"

"Really? You're ok with this?" MJ fidgeted with her hands, unsure of her mother's words.

"Of course," she chuckled. "Mary Jane, you haven't needed your mother's opinion for years now. You have always made decisions for yourself. Why should now be any different? This is big for you! You need to do this, and for no one but yourself! Go on! Get out of here and knock them dead!"

MJ smiled, hugging her mother once more. "Thanks Mom. I'll call you as soon as I can." she looked back at the house. "Say goodbye to Dad too, huh…"

"I will," she patted her cheek. "I know he'll be proud of you too, in the end."

MJ looked back at Zoey in the car. Time was short and she had one more goodbye to make. She hugged her mother once more, then ran across the lawn and up the steps to ring the doorbell of the house next door.

A moment later, May Parker opened the door with about one of the brightest smiles MJ ever saw a person give.

"Mary Jane! What a surprise!" May grinned. "Come on in, child! It's frigid out there!"

MJ stepped into the warm home and smiled at the older woman with love. "Hi Aunt May."

"I'm so happy you stopped by. But, dear… Peter isn't here," she told MJ, a bit of confusion in her tone.

"Oh, I know…" MJ tugged on her scarf, trying to put her words together. "I came to see you, actually."

"Oh, land sakes, child. You're too sweet. It's New Year's Eve though. Shouldn't you be out celebrating? Maybe with Peter, hmm?" May hinted with a giggle.

MJ avoided eye contact with the older woman. Of course May thought they would be together, after Christmas and all. She wouldn't have time to discuss or come up with excuses as to why she and Peter weren't together or spending the New Year together.

"Aunt May, I came here because… I got a part in a soap opera and I wanted to share my good news with you. I know you've always supported me," MJ started, but May interrupted her before she could continue.

She gasped in excitement, gripping her chest. "Oh my! That's astonishing darling! Wonderful! I am so happy for you Mary Jane! Congratulations!" she hugged her quickly. "I knew you had it in you! I bet Peter is so proud of you. You know dear, he just adores you. I bet he has never been happier. He has always thought the world of you. Such good news! It's good to hear all this good news for a change." May rambled on, full of joy.

MJ bit her lip to keep from lashing out about Peter, but she loved him and thought so much of him, she couldn't break him down in front of her. She smiled, chuckling a little as she put a hand on the woman's shoulder hoping to quell her excitement just a bit. "There's more." she paused. "I leave for LA tonight."

"Oh…" the excitement was let out of her like air in a balloon. "Well, that's… so soon? On New Year's? What about Peter?" May frowned, worried her nephew was going to spend this time hurt and alone.

"Well… I have to leave right away or I lose the part. It's an opportunity I can't pass up. It won't be forever. I'll be back," she nodded, trying to convince herself more than May. LA may be her new home. "As for Peter," she grimaced afraid to tread further. This was going to require an explanation. "He doesn't know I am going."

May's mouth dropped open and the look of shock was all too much for MJ to bear.

"I know that sounds terrible, but it's for the best. Peter and I… well Aunt May, there really is no Peter and I…"

"Did you two have a fight? Are you not speaking? MJ, this is no time to go away if you and Peter are having trouble-"

"Aunt May, I'm sorry. Peter and I are… Just friends… That's all we've ever been. I know it seems wrong, but it's true. I need you to do me a favor and promise you won't say anything to him tonight, okay? Please? I hate to put you in this position but its best if he just doesn't know." MJ sighed, looking at the time over May's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I am. I have to be going."

"Mary Jane, I… I don't understand child…" May replied, stunned into place.

MJ hugged the woman and gave her a final smile. "Thank you for everything. I really have to go, goodbye." She made her way to the door.

"Mary Jane!" May shouted.

MJ turned back, even as Zoey honked the horn.

"Keep in touch, all right?" May pleaded.

"Of course. I will call you soon," MJ smiled, then disappeared out the door.

May stared at the door for a long time after Mary Jane left. She was a mixture of sadness, confusion and happiness. She didn't understand what happened between the lovely girl and her nephew, but she couldn't help but be happy for her all the same.


	30. As The Curtains Close on Act I

_**Hurt- Christina Aguilera**_

_**Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were but I walked away  
If only I knew what I know today**_

_**I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again  
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there**_

_**I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you  
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss  
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this**_

_**Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
Are you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To have just one more chance  
To look into your eyes and see you looking back**_

_**I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself  
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that  
I've missed you since you've been away**_

_**Oh, it's dangerous  
It's so out of line to try to turn back time**_

_**I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself**_

_**By hurting you **_

MJ paced the floor of the airport, continuing to gaze outside into the night and watching planes land and take off. She glanced at her watch again, impatiently.

"For someone who wasn't ready to leave a few hours ago, you sure are impatient. Relax, its twenty to midnight. Besides, I should be nervous. Garrett isn't here yet. If he misses this after all the commotion he made about it, I'm going to kill him," Zoey crossed her arms defiantly as MJ paced by her.

"Why don't they just start boarding already?" MJ shook the energy from her hands, but couldn't help but continue to feel overanxious.

"It's New Year's Eve, MJ. Everyone takes a break at midnight. Relax, we'll be on our way soon enough. Nothing is going to change if we arrive a little later," Zoey chuckled.

MJ raised her brows unsure of that. What if she changed her mind? What if she got too scared and backed out? She groaned, plopping into the seat next to Zoey.

Truth was, she was wondering if Peter would come running up the aisle, screaming for her to stop and not get on the plane. He would shout, "I love you, MJ! Wait! Don't leave me! I need you!"

In reply, she would open her arms wide and shout," Peter, I love you too! I knew you needed me! I won't go!"

And they would kiss, passionately and longingly.

And she could keep dreaming. Even if Peter did find out she was leaving, he wouldn't stop her. It's what he wanted. Besides, she told May not to tell him. Peter was not going to stop her from leaving.

She set her chin defiantly. And she didn't want him to try.

"Zoey!" a male's voice called above the bustle of the terminal.

Zoey stood up. "Garrett!" she jumped up and down excitedly as the dark haired, dark eyes man ran up to her, enveloping her in his arms.

MJ groaned, leaning her head back. "Only me," she muttered aloud.

Peter beamed as the door to his Aunt's home opened. "Hey Aunt May! Surprise!"

"Peter, for land's sakes! It's nearly midnight. What are you doing here?" Aunt May put a hand over her heart.

Peter stepped in, still smiling. "I didn't want you to ring in the New Year without me. I'm sorry for getting here late. Traffic was backed up with everyone in Times Square. You know how packed it is there and traffic is just bumper to bumper." Lucky for him, Spider-Man had his own means of travel where traffic was never an issue. Well, except for the occasional flock of pigeons.

"Oh dear, you didn't have to come all this way just for me," May patted his shoulder after shutting the door. "I'm fine."

"Well," Peter took his coat off, still smiling at her. "Maybe I didn't want to be alone either, you know"

May smirked at the boy who was like a son to her. "Was I your only choice, hmm?" she stepped into the living and sat on the couch. She picked up her knitting needles and continued to knit the scarf she was making for her friend down the block.

Peter chuckled, surprised at her. "No, I just thought we both shouldn't be alone. We are family. So…" he sat beside her. "Here I am."

May smiled, patting her nephew's cheek. "Thanks sweetie." she picked up her needles again. "Always so thoughtful, Peter. It's why I love you so much."

"I love you too, Aunt May," Peter smiled, watching the TV play live coverage of Times Square.

"Big turn out this year, huh?" May watched the TV.

"Yeah, I think all of New York is squished in there," Peter chuckled. "I know Harry is down there, somewhere."

"Oh, how nice," MJ replied. She wondered if he was ever going to bring up MJ. She knew she shouldn't say anything, but she hated seeing her nephew pretend to be happy like this. She felt she should be loyal to MJ, but she had a loyalty to her nephew too. Besides, she never said she promised… She spoke up before she lost her cool. "I had a visitor before."

"Oh, really?" Peter continued to watch the TV. "Who stopped by?"

"Mary Jane," May answered simply.

Peter turned his head sharply. "MJ?"

"Yes," May grinned, knowing she caught his attention.

"What- What did MJ want?" Peter swallowed hard.

"Well, she wanted to share her good news," she paused, watching Peter practically squirm in his seat to keep from asking more. "She got an acting part."

Peter felt his heart soar with pride. He grinned, unable to contain how happy this news made him. "Really? That's outstanding!" he allowed himself one more deep smile, then he managed to control his emotions. "I bet she is happy."

"Of course she is. She's going to be on a soap opera. It's going to be a completely new experience for her. New job, new friends, new place to live…" May listed.

"She is moving out of the city?" Peter pretended not to care, as he continued to watch the TV no longer having any interest.

"Peter, she's gone to LA. She left for the airport from here not too long ago…" May revealed, unable to keep it in any longer.

Peter gripped his hands together so tightly, they went numb. He could feel the blood vessels in his head bulge and he swore they were going to pop any moment. "LA?"

"California… Hollywood. Yes," May frowned, watching him attempt to brush the knowledge of this off.

"Well…" he paused, watching the ball descend slowly. "That's good. LA is the perfect place for her."

"Yes, it is a good place for her career. I wish her all the success in the world…" May set aside her knitting and took Peter's hands in hers. She waited until his eyes met hers and she raised her brows. "What I don't understand is why you didn't know? What happened between you two Peter?"

"Nothing, Aunt May," Peter avoided her eyes. "She probably just didn't have time to come say goodbye. It's no big deal."

"So you are trying to tell me, she had time to say goodbye to this old lady, but not her best friend?" May couldn't believe him.

"Well, you do live next door to her parents," Peter shrugged, looking down at his aunt's fragile hands holding his. "It's okay, Aunt May."

"She also made me promise not to tell you," May smirked, catching him off guard. "I wonder why that was, hmm?"

"It's nothing, Aunt May. Don't worry about it," Peter shrugged, unsure of what else he could say. His eyes drifted back to the TV. Five minutes to midnight.

"I bet you it's not too late to catch her. The least you could do is see her off, Peter. Whatever has you two fighting, is it really worth losing your chance to say goodbye?" May pressured him.

Peter didn't answer. His heart was pounding heavily. Should he at least go say goodbye? No… They had done that last night. It was time to move on and stay away. She was off to a new life; any involvement from him could do more harm than good. Time ticked by slowly.

At the airport, MJ gave Zoey and Garrett some privacy. Well, as much as one could get in a busy terminal. However, it had slowed significantly since she last looked around. Everyone was on their way or watching the TV closely, counting down the minutes to the New Year.

MJ leaned against the cool glass of the window, watching them gas up the plane that would take her to LA. She pushed off the glass and went to the ticket booth. "Excuse me, how long until we board?"

The flight attendant turned to MJ with a strange look. "After midnight, ma'am. The plane is being prepared as we speak. We are a little behind schedule tonight, with the holiday and all. Please be patient. If you would just sit and enjoy your New Year celebration with your family, I assure you we will be boarding shortly thereafter."

MJ slinked away from the counter and went back to her spot by the window, away from the crowds.

"Three minutes now!" someone in the background shouted.

MJ groaned. "Hooray." she drawled.

"You know, Peter…" May started as the clock counted down to a minute and a half until the New Year. "We both know what it is like to not have a chance to say goodbye to someone we care for. We both know how silly it is to allow foolish pride to weigh our judgment. I would give anything to have one more chance to speak with your uncle and let him know that no matter what happens, I will always… love for him… care for him. If I had an opportunity like that, I wouldn't pass it up."

Peter listened to his aunt speak as he watched the ball in Times Square fall until it stopped and the entire crowd in Times Square erupted into cheers and screaming Happy New Year!

The house in Queens where he sat with his aunt was silent and not a word was spoken.

Mary Jane lifted her head from the glass as the cheers erupted around the terminal and everyone was embracing and kissing as the New Year was upon them. She looked out into the night, finding the Manhattan skyline. "Happy New Year Tiger," she fought back tears, refusing to start her new year reduced to sorrow.

Zoey rushed over moments later to hug her and celebrate.

MJ hugged her in return, wiping her own tears away.

Zoey hadn't noticed her crying and was back in Garrett's arms, and celebrating with the other travelers in the terminal before MJ could blink. She stood in the middle of the circular terminal, filled with people celebrating and happy. She had never felt more alone.

Peter stared at the TV for so long, his eyes started to blur and everything became one glowing blur.

May was afraid to move, afraid to blink. She could see her nephew at battle with himself. It wasn't until he finally stood, that she drew breath.

"Happy New Year, Aunt May," he said.

She stood up beside him. "Happy New Year, dear."

He turned to her and gave her a hug. "I'll call you tomorrow." he gave her a tight smile. "I gotta fly."

"Good luck, Peter. Hurry now! The snow's started so they might delay the flight longer!" she shooed him out the door.

Peter gave her one final quick smile. He was doing this. He was really doing this. He wouldn't allow MJ to leave his life like this. Not without a proper goodbye. What that proper goodbye entailed, he wasn't sure. He wouldn't allow himself time to think that through for fear he would change his mind. He needed to get to MJ before it was too late. Then he would let whatever was meant to happen, happen. He was out the door in a blur.

"Peter! Your coat!" May called from the doorway, clutching the coat in her hands.

"I won't need it!" he called back over his shoulder, disappearing down the block. He pulled off his sweater once he was in the dark of night, and pulled on his mask, taking to the sky.

The airport grew even less crowded ten minutes later. Most everyone had already moved along his or her own way.

Her own flight was finally ready to begin boarding. MJ watched as Zoey said goodbye to Garrett. The back seats were filling in first, so they still had a bit of time before they could board.

MJ took a shaky breath, trying to calm her nerves. She fiddled with the strings of her scarf, needing something to keep her moving. She glanced at the clock for the millionth time in the past five minutes. It was twenty after midnight and they were supposed to take off in five minutes, but they had barely started boarding.

She needed to get out of here now. She was ready to start new. She was ready to make a change. It scared her to no end, and the longer she thought about it, the harder and scarier it seemed.

She hugged herself tightly, allowing herself to believe she would make it on her own and finally allow Mary Jane Watson to become what she always dared to be. An independent, successful, woman who was proud of herself. She stood up a bit straighter and took another deep breath. This one was steadier and she exhaled loudly, letting go of some negativity.

It also helped that the call for general boarding came at that time. She didn't waste a moment, gathering her carry on luggage and showing her ticket to a man in a uniform. She took a moment, looked back and scanned the terminal. Then she turned back and walked down the ramp to board the plane.

She found her seat quickly, stowing her bags in the overhead compartment. She sat in the window seat and crinkled the ticket stub in her hand as she took deep breaths.

This was it.

Peter rushed into the main terminal, looking at the scheduled flight times and after a long process of sorting through the screens and airlines, he finally found the flight to LA that MJ would be on. He rushed to the escalator taking him to the next half of the terminal. He showed his ID and went through the detectors quickly. He ran at full speed, maybe even a bit faster than he should, to the gate.

He looked around the circle of gates, trying to find the one he needed. Most of the area looked abandoned as if all flights came and went already. Peter's heart was racing, but it had nothing to do with his jog or mad dash to the airport. He was just too late. He took too long.

It had been difficult as hell to web sling here. There came a point when he realized he could web sling no further and he had given up and took a cab. Traffic was awful and he contemplated running alongside the expressway, but he figured the police wouldn't take too kindly to that. So, he took the cab as far as he could, then ran full speed the rest of the way.

All that and he still wasn't fast enough! He glanced at the world clocks in the middle of the terminal. It was nine minutes to one. He finally urged his feet to move again and he very ungracefully slammed into the counter of the airline flying MJ to LA. He gasped a breath. "Flight to LA?"

The woman glared at Peter with a look he hadn't see a woman give him since his days of being a high school nerd. She straightened some of the papers he had shaken loose. "Already boarded, sir. I'm sorry."

"Can you please let me on? If I miss this flight, it's the end of my life. Please, I beg you," Peter clasped his hands together as he begged the beautiful blonde to adhere to his wishes.

The woman chuckled as if she found his plight hilarious. "I'm sorry, sir. The plane is already on the tarmac, waiting in line for take-off. There would be no way at all to stop the flight now." she paused. "We were already delayed a good half hour or so between the weather and the New Year. You should try arriving on time in the future." she began typing at her computer. "Our next flight to LA is seven am, but unfortunately it is booked solid. I would be happy to put you on stand by."

"You don't understand!" Peter gripped the edge of the counter tightly. "I don't want to fly to LA."

"Well, then.. I would be happy to arrange another flight for you-"

"No!" Peter shouted, then shrunk into his shoulders a bit, as he realized everyone left in the terminal had stopped to look at him. He smiled at the woman precariously. "I'm sorry…" he couldn't think. How could he stop the flight? "Listen…" he thought. "The woman I love is on that flight. I need to tell her, or I will lose her forever! Please, as a woman, you must understand." Peter pleaded, losing all hope. He wasn't even sure that's what he would say to MJ.

The woman seemed to grow a bit more sympathetic and her smile more genuine. "I am so sorry, sir. It sounds so romantic. I wish I could help you. But there is nothing I can do."

Peter sunk against the counter in defeat. "Please?"

She frowned, shaking her head. "Truly, sorry." then she walked off, leaving him alone.

Peter's heart was now at his feet and with every step he took, he trampled it a bit more. He collapsed into a seat facing the windows.

Outside the snow swirled lightly in the black sky, lit up by bright orange and white fluorescent, air traffic lights. He immediately found the line of planes waiting on the runway for take-off.

He quietly considered breaking out onto the tarmac and allowing Spider-Man to run down the plane and hop on, finding MJ. What the spectacle that would cause! That would certainly put Spider-Man in the spotlight with MJ. Definitely not the answer.

So what was the right answer? Would he just watch as she left his life? And quite possibly forever? He stood up, making his way to the window. His eyes found a handprint on the clean glass and he pressed his fingers against the smaller print, imagining they were hers. He leaned his head against the cool glass, watching as plane after plane sped off and up to the sky.

With all his powers, there was nothing he could do. He had no way to stop that plane and no way to keep MJ from going. He huffed as tears formed in his eyes. He had the power to stop her leaving all this time, and the worst part was it never required spider strength or any super human power to do that. All it required was for him to open his heart and trust in the love they had for one another. That could protect them. If only he had listened to her and trusted what she said. Now, it was too late for that.

But he just couldn't! He couldn't do it! He couldn't believe anything could keep her safe. Too much danger had found her since she became a bigger part of his life.

He lifted his head in time to see her plane in motion, circling for take-off.

Now she was gone. Off to LA to achieve her dreams and start something new. He had no idea what he would've said to her had he actually caught her. Maybe he would've told her how much he loved her. Maybe he would have said they'd always be friends and he would always be there for her, as he told her once before. Or maybe he would have remained so scared that he still would have still kept everything hidden. It would have been embarrassing and confusing and he would have only made things worse for her. He would never know though, because it was not going to happen. He was too late.

He sighed, shaking a bit. However it would have turned out, he just wished he hadn't missed his chance to see her off and say goodbye the right way. He had to let go of his Uncle Ben without saying goodbye, why should the only other person he ever dared to love as much be any different.

The plane was speeding down the runway and with each burst of speed; his heart clenched further knowing this was really it now. This was really the end. "Goodbye Mary Jane."

He watched as the plane lifted off the ground and into the snow speckled sky. He continued to watch until it disappeared from his sight and then he finally turned, head low and hands in his pockets as he walked away. He turned back once more scanning the terminal just in case she had stayed, maybe she sensed he'd come, sense that he really did need her. But, there was no sign of her. He continued on his way, ready to let go. And not because he was really prepared to, but because he had no other choice.

This was really the end.

THE END

Well folks, that's it! I have finally finished this story. I want to thank everyone, who has either been here since the beginning or just found this fic for reading and I hope you have enjoyed it. Please leave lots of feedback and let me know what you think! And don't worry! The sequel is already spinning in my head. I almost started it instead of adding these final chapters here on Now its complete and I can work on part 2! Hope you will stick around and see how things turn out. Thanks again and I just want to say, there is no better satisfaction thank completing something, seeing it through until the end.


	31. Authors Note: Sequel

Hello everyone!

I still exist! lol It has been a LONG time, I know, I know… This is an author's note for anyone still interested in the Widow Maker sequel. Just so you all know the sequel to this story still exists as well! I have worked on it on and off since I finished the Widow Maker all those years ago. It is REALLY slow in coming along for a long list of reasons; however, I have not given up on it. I only have about 3-4 chapters created but fear not, the plot is mostly worked out. It is just a matter of finding time and continued interest (thank you Quesada for ruining my Spider-Man love…) to keep this going. I am considering posting the first chapter at the very least some time soon. Hopefully, if there is still enough interest in this, it will continue on and inspire me to work harder on it. In any case, the sequel has life but it is nameless. So, let's see the interest level here- either leave me a review or if I find the traffic goes over the usual amount of hits for this week (about 50-75) then I'll know. Take care everyone and thank you to all who enjoyed the Widow Maker!

~Debbie


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